Chapter Text
Sodapop POV
Darry could still remember everything that had happened…
I could see it as well with how much he kept looking at Ponyboy and overall just watching over him. Even if Ponyboy so much as sneezed he would be making sure that he was okay. However, that's not to say I didn't do the same thing. Even if Ponyboy closed his eyes in a way that made me concerned, I would be the first to ask him about it.
“Are ya okay Ponyboy?” I asked for the hundredth time that day. He had wanted to go to a movie but had to wait for someone in the gang to go with him. After all, it was like we couldn't even take our eyes off of him for a moment without him getting into some sort of trouble. He rolled his eyes and then seemed to think better of it. Instead, he laid down on my lap, sighing as he did so.
Instantly I was concerned. My fingers gently brushed through his hair as he lay there. “Im sorry Soda,” Ponyboy finally whispered. A finger seemed to gently touch a part of his head where there was an injury. He flinched and I apologized.
“Look Pony, ya don't gotta be sorry,” I said. His lip quivered, a sign that he was going to cry. I could see how much he tried to hide it, or at least pretend that he wasn't going to cry. That whole week was stressful for us all, especially for him. Still, he shook his head, “I- I didn't tell ya or nothin’.”
I shook my head, pulling him up so that he was sitting on my lap. Tears were starting to fall freely from his eyes as he looked down at his lap. “C'mon Pone, look at me,” I said. His watery eyes met mine and I could see how much of a kid he truly was. It was like I was being told that he had a switchblade up to his neck again. He was too young for any of that, too young to die.
“I ain't the happiest that ya hid it from us… but if this ever happens again you come straight to me and Darry,” I gently lectured. He nodded slightly, trying to wipe the tears that started to fall from his eyes faster. I hugged him, “It's okay baby.” And for a moment, he seemed to believe it.
We sat there for a moment until the door jingled a bit. When it did, Ponyboy jumped off my lap and onto the floor where he wiped his tears. But, I knew he was going to be all right. As long as me and the gang were there to protect him, then nothing could hurt him again.
Darry’s POV
Day in and day out Ponyboy would limp around. It was hard not to ask him if he was okay, especially when it was met with a glare. He kept his mouth shut no matter what, seemingly as if he was trying to see if his words were okay.
Every time Ponyboy would hide something, I would remember the day in the hospital. I remembered the desperation in Sodapops voice as he told me that our baby brother had been stabbed. The anger boiled in me every time I thought about the socs that had stabbed him, and that had caused everything. “If only I had paid more attention…” I would tell myself every day after.
Except, it was hard to pay attention to a kid who was constantly trying to hide everything. Ponyboy was a skilled liar, he could come up with anything on the spot. When we were younger it had been handy with lying to Mom and Dad. Having it used against you though when trying to take care of him was almost a karma I needed to feel.
“C'mon Pony, shirt off,” I repeated. Some of Ponyboy's injuries hadn't been covered well enough by the leftover gauze. In other words, he was continuously bleeding through his shirt and it was starting to worry the gang. “Im fine Darry,” Ponyboy argued as he slumped back in his bed. “Remember the last time ya told me you were ‘fine?’” I said, stepping closer with the first-aid kit. Ponyboy put his head down, nodding a bit as he tried to take his shirt off.
The sight of bruises and blood wasn't easy to look at but it was getting better. Instead of new injuries every day, he had slowly started to heal from most of them. The regular purple I saw had faded out into a soft yellow that helped to make me relax instead of stress. While some of them were going to scar, I knew that Ponyboy was going to try and make it seem tuff instead of weak. Part of me felt pride at the thought of Ponyboy owning his scars instead of hating them. But another part of me hated how he had gotten the scars.
“Need help, Dar?” Sodapop asked from the doorway. I nodded, trying to clean a reopened cut. Despite how much time we put into making sure the shallow cuts didn't open up, Ponyboy found a reason to move and somehow they always reopened. Ponyboy moved around as I tried to clean the cut again, groaning as he did so. “Stay still,” I muttered in a tone that showed I was trying my best not to yell. Ponyboy stopped almost instantly, preferring to just groan as I continued to clean his cuts. Sodapop moved around me and Ponyboy to start rewrapping the cut on Ponyboy's neck. His eye twitched as he wrapped it. Ponyboy avoided our gazes, preferring to just close his eyes as we cleaned up the cuts he couldn't get to.
“It's a damn miracle that ya ain't in the hospital right now little buddy,” I said, watching as Ponyboy's forehead creased. He was listening to me, something that was sad to say felt rare. Still, I could tell that he was starting to get annoyed with the way that we kept him constantly under our watch. “I know Dar… can I go to the movies though?” Ponyboy finally asked. We finished up, using just about everything in the first-aid kit.
“Whos comin’ with?” I instantly asked, watching as he winced from changing how he was sitting. Just that small wince put me on alert and almost made me take back what I meant. Still, Ponyboy clenched his fists and seemed to think about the question. “Uh, Johnny?” My eyes narrowed, Johnny was in the living room, and Ponyboy had been in his room almost the entire day. His shift in tone also set off alarms in my head as I sat on the edge of his bed.
“Who else?”
“Uhm…” Ponyboy looked around, averting his eyes from mine. “Curly?”
“No!” Sodapop shouted for the both of us. I nodded, agreeing with Sodapop. Ponyboy groaned, putting his arms up and down like a small tantrum. The blanket moved as he made himself more comfortable. He glared at the wall, almost pouting. And he calls himself an adult…
“C'mon Pony, Curly?” I asked, trying to hide the anger I felt about Curly. Tim Shepard understood my distaste for his younger brother. Actually, he understood if I hated him as well. He didn't take it personally, knowing that it was Curly who started everything with the socs. Still, I didn't like the thought of Ponyboy hanging around Curly. At least not until Curly could deal with the socs himself without dragging everyone else into it.
“Why don't ya get Johnny to come?” Sodapop offered, his voice mellowing out into a soft tone. Ponyboy's shoulders sagged a bit, “Cuz I don't think he…” Instantly he stopped himself, his hand flying to his mouth to shut himself up. The slap from how hard he did it echoed through the room. His eyes were wide as Sodapop instinctively put his hands on Ponyboy's shoulders. Ponyboy winced from his own action, hitting a cut on his face and moving quickly. My mind told me that he had reopened a cut, but the other part of my mind was worried about my baby brother and what he was thinking.
“Because what honey?” Sodapop asked. Ponyboy looked down, taking his hand off of his mouth, “Because I don't think he likes me anymore…” Ponyboy's ears were red with embarrassment, a sign that he was telling the truth. He avoided our gazes, preferring to stare right at the blanket in front of him. “Why do you think that?” I asked, trying to soften up my voice. Suddenly, Ponyboy started crying.
I rushed over, putting a hand on his shoulder as Sodapop situated himself behind Pony. Ponyboy's tears ended as quickly as they started, but still left me feeling concerned. “He doesn't even look at me… probably thinks I’m weak or somethin’,” Ponyboy admitted. Sodapops eyebrows creased together as he looked at me, asking for an answer. We all knew that Johnny didn't hate Ponyboy, that was far from the truth. But, it never occurred to us to think that Ponyboy thought that.
“Why don't ya ask Johnny yourself?” I finally asked, watching as Ponyboy's shoulders sagged again. His eyes darted around the room, almost as if looking for a way out. Still, he shrugged, “He don't wanna talk to me.” Sodapop and I knew that it was a lie. Johnny had wanted to talk to Ponyboy immediately after the rumble. But, he stopped trying after a bit, focusing on getting better before he would have the conversation with Ponyboy.
But, it was starting to feel like now or never for them to have that talk.
Quietly I stepped out of the room, giving Sodapop a slight nod. He nodded back, giving Ponyboy's shoulders one last squeeze before he started to follow me out the door. Ponyboy looked up at us as we walked out. He looked confused, his eyebrows creasing with worry. I walked out into the living room, watching as Johnny sat on the couch and Two-Bit watched something on the TV.
They both seemed immersed in it but Johnny looked up almost instantly. He got up, his eyebrows creasing with concern. “Pony wants to talk to ya,” I said as calmly as I could. Johnny nodded, practically running to Pony and Soda's room.
Johnnys POV!!!
I had wanted to talk to Ponyboy for almost the entire week. I wanted to ask everything and get answers to every question that I had. Yet, I knew that he wouldn't answer quickly, no, he would avoid the questions as much as he could even if they were mundane. Even when everything was already out, it was like he was embarrassed to realize that it had happened
Part of me knew though that he was trying to avoid seeming weak after the whole ordeal. I knew though that I had to stay at a distance because if I didn't, then he would try to hide everything again. Learning that Ponyboy had hidden everything just for my sake had been heartwarming and also angering. Did he think I was weak? Or did he just think he could handle it? I spent most of my time wondering about it as I tried to fix up the injuries I had from the rumble. If I accidentally pissed my parents off while trying to get better, then I would leave with more injuries than anyone could sign up for.
Still, everything hung heavy on my mind, even as I stayed at the Curtis house. Ponyboy somehow found a way to avoid me, this time though, I knew the reason. His eyes were dull, and it seemed that at times he just wanted to be better. Sodapop told me about how jumpy he was and how Ponyboy wanted to carry around a switchblade. The thought scared me and just about everyone else in the gang. Still, I knew I had to wait until my best friend wanted to talk to me. So that at least I knew that he would finally give me the answers I wanted.
I sat on the couch of the Curtis house. Two-Bit watched some Mickey Mouse lazily. However, I knew that both of us were listening in on Ponyboy and his brothers. It had caught our attention when Sodapop yelled, “No!” We thought for a moment that Ponyboy was hurt, but, when we learned it was just Curly, me and Two-Bit started to listen. Suddenly Ponyboy's cries could be heard and soon they softened up. It took everything in me to not see what was going on. Still, I sat still and tried to immerse myself the same way that Two-Bit immersed himself in watching Mickey Mouse.
My mind wandered through to Ponyboy. Did he already want to start talking to Curly again? Did Curly even get his whole business with the socs over with? But before I could ask any more questions, I saw Darry and Sodapop walk into the living room. I looked up, meeting Darrys eyes as he spoke, “Ponyboy wants to talk to ya.” For a moment I just looked at him shocked. Then, before I knew it, I was rushing into Ponyboy’s room.
When I walked in, Ponyboy instantly looked up. He was still pale, and I could see some lingering bruises on his face. The sight reminded me as to why the gang hated it when I was injured, especially if it was from my parents. Mostly because they couldn't do anything if it was them. But for it to be the socs it pissed me off in a way that I didn't know I could be mad. Carefully I walked up to the edge of the bed, watching Ponyboy carefully.
“Hey,” I finally greeted, watching as Ponyboy’s shoulders fell in relief. Tears started to bead in his eyes before a tear finally fell. “Are you angry at me?” Ponyboy asked, his voice wavering. My eyebrows creased as I rushed over to him. I pulled him into a hug, not even caring if he accidentally scratched some of my injuries. Relief swept through me as I pulled away from Ponyboy and finally inspected him up close. His eyes were wide and tears kept falling from his eyes, but I could tell that he was starting to feel safe.
Once again I wrapped him in my arms and wiped away some of his tears. “I ain't angry at ya. Hell- Pony, I don't think I could ever be angry at ya,” I said with confidence. Ponyboy hugged me back as tightly as he could. Accidentally I fell on top of him, crushing him for a moment. I scrambled off to the side of the bed, sitting down right next to him. He took a moment to collect his breath before looking at me. “Are ya sure?”
Carefully I pulled him onto my chest. “Yea, Im sure Pony. Just… don't do that again, okay?” I waited, watching as Ponyboy looked up at me. His eyes had a small twinkle in them again, something that I thought I would never see again. It sent another wave of relief to me as I smiled. He nodded putting his head on my chest as I started to play with his hair. Tears trickled down his eyes, but, I couldn't help but admit that some were falling down mine as well.
“Pony… wanna head to the movies later?”
Ponyboy POV
Everywhere I went I was babied. No matter how much I tried to avoid the questions about injuries and how I felt. It was the same answer and I knew that I would have to start hiding it. After all, saying that I was in pain all the time was starting to concern Darry and Sodapop. Not to mention how the gang would carefully watch me as well.
Darry made almost a whole schedule so that I wasn't alone at all while at home. If Sodapop was gone, then Two-Bit somehow wanted to watch Mickey Mouse, even if there wasn't beer in the fridge. If Two-Bit was busy, then Steve wanted to stay over. It drove me insane for a bit as I tried to avoid their gazes. I thought about Johnny and the look of hurt on his face before I passed out. Then I remembered avoiding all his questions no matter what. Part of me didn't want to be seen as weak anymore, but another part had it drilled into me that I could die with that thinking process.
After all, I really almost did die from it all.
After almost a week of trying to avoid the gang, I knew that I had to apologize to all of them. Sodapop was still always making sure I was okay, never taking my answer of “fine,” anymore. He knew that I lied too much for my own sake, and that thought process spread to Darry as well. Still, that didn't stop me from trying to convince them that I really was fine.
I came clean to Sodapop, explaining how I was sorry and how I would try to not hide anything like that again. I remembered his face and how tears had started to fall down his face halfway through my impromptu apology. There was too much for me to apologize about, but what I wanted Sodapop to know the most was that I never wanted him to feel like I couldn't trust him. After that, he started to trust me more, and by that, he started allowing me to go out as long as he was with me.
Then it was Darry. I tried to explain what I meant and Sodapop backed me up, giving me a small frown if I said something bad. After a whole lot of trying to prove that I wouldn't lie, Darry hugged me. He almost reopened a bandage but stopped before he could. When he pulled away, I saw tears almost clinging to his eyes, practically begging to fall. Then, they did. He started crying as he explained how scared he was for me. He clung onto me and Sodapop joined as well, trying to make us laugh as we practically fell to the ground altogether.
After that, I knew that I had to apologize to the rest of the gang. Whether that was Two-Bit, Steve, Johnny, or Dally. Yet, it was Steve that came up first. He sat down on the couch near me, looking at the book I was reading. When I caught him, he apologized. “Look kid… that day, I didn't mean ta make you feel bad. I just wanted ya to see how stupid you were being,” Steve said. I looked at him in shock, almost ready to pinch myself to see if I was awake. But, his face stayed serious and I knew that if I tried to pinch myself, he would be ready to report it to my brothers in an instant. I just nodded to the apology, “You were right though Steve. I just wished I could've told ‘em earlier.” Now it was his turn to be shocked but he just smiled, “Well, it's good to see that ya ain't dead in a ditch, Pony.”
I must've been on a roll because Dally came in not too long after Steve. Except, Steve had promised Sodapop to go with him to the rodeo. I knew how anxious Sodapop was about leaving me with Dally, mostly because of the fear of socs again, but Dally brushed it off. “He’ll be fine. If he even thinks about leavin’ I’ll stop ‘im,” Dally said but, it lacked his usual spunk. He sat down on the recliner, leaning back for a moment as Sodapop and Steve left. When they left, I finally spoke up. “I’m sorry Dally.” I never realized how much relief words could give me. Tears started to fall down my eyes as I repeated it. “Im so sorry Dally, I never meant-”
“Shut it, kid,” Dally said, but it lacked any anger. Instead, he looked concerned as he got up from the recliner and made his way to me. He sat down on the couch next to me, causing me to jump for a moment. “What are ya sorry for?” He finally asked. I wiped the tears from my eyes, “E-everythin’…” His eyes narrowed as he looked at me, “From hidin’ that ya knew or for getting me stabbed?” He knew his error in words and I started to cry. “Shit- kid that's not what I meant,” he backtracked. But I nodded, agreeing with what he was getting at. “I never wanted to drag you into it,” I whispered. Dally surprised me then by putting an arm around me. He pulled me closer setting his hand carefully on my head and starting to gently move in almost a soothing gesture.
I felt as if my eyes were drooping, tired from just about everything. “Aint yer fault kid. Just tell yer brothers, or else they're gonna bash my head in next time,” he tried to joke. Carefully I nodded, wiping the rest of my tears as I relaxed. When I woke up, I was back in bed and Dally was gone. But, the next time that I saw him, he took to a more gentle manner of talking to me. Not as if I was fragile, but more so as if I was a good buddy of his.
Then it was Two-Bit I had to apologize to. My mind tried to make up ideas as to how to apologize to him. For some reason, giving him a regular apology didn't fit with how much he had to see and go through. Instead, I talked about cleaning up his car from the blood. Still, that didn't feel like enough…
“Why don't ya help ‘im clean his car?” Sodapop suggested. I sat on a crate in the DX garage. Steve worked under a car while Sodapop was getting ready to add the oil to it. “Yall can talk while ya do it,” Steve added, practically shouting from under the car. I cringed a bit, not used to the loud sound but nodded. “So how am I gonna suggest it?”
Sodapop gave me his trademark grin and started talking. Somehow, his plan included cut brakes and an emergency trip to the DX. That being if Two-Bit even cared enough to take his car to the DX to fix his brakes. “I'll give it to him on the house,” Sodapop finished. I cringed at a memory of Two-Bit saying something very similar. Still, I nodded, sitting back down on the crate and listening as Sodapop relayed the plan to Steve.
When the plan was in motion, it was more dramatic than what I expected it to be. I sat on the crate as Sodapop talked about having to sneak into Two-Bit's house and take his keys. It was a dramatic retelling of how “sneaky,” he was, even if he just asked Two-Bit's mom for their house key for a moment. Still, I listened, waiting to see if Two-Bit was going to come in at any moment. Just as I thought he wasn't going to show, Steve pushed a car in that seemed very similar to Two-Bits car. He was breathing heavily as he finally stopped pushing and put the car into park. “Ya owe me, kid,” Steve said as he caught his breath.
Two-Bits car was smoking. Before I could do anything, Two-Bit came in, talking about how worried he was for his car. “Now me ‘n Kathy were just in ‘ere! Almost killed us! How much Soda?” Two-Bit said, his voice coming out sporadically. He was shocked, I noticed, he didn't know why his car was messed up. Sodapop smirked, “On the house as long as ya watch Pony.” Sodapop pointed to me, “Me ‘n Steve’ll get the stuff for it.” With that, they both left. Two-Bit sat on a crate near me, his usual obnoxious demeanor switched out for a cautious one. I noticed the blood in his car and tried to imagine it as rust instead.
“Sorry ‘bout yer car,” I mumbled. Two-Bit looked over at me confused. “Well ya ain't gotta be sorry. Unless yer the one that ruined my brakes,” he chuckled, his laughing missing its usual spark. “Not just ‘bout that Two-Bit. I’m sorry ‘bout lyin’ ‘n all of that,” I said, looking right at him. He stared at me too, his eyes searching for any lie that I was telling. When he deduced that I was telling the truth, he looked back to his car. “It ain't yer fault Pony… Just… Ya should've told yer brothers sooner,” he said. I nodded, looking down at my lap. A rag caught my eye and I grabbed it. Carefully I got up, watching as Two-Bit followed immediately, as if to see if I was going to escape.
Before he could guess it, I smacked him with the rag. His eyes grew wide as he started to play fight with me. I allowed myself to let my guard down as he tried to put me into a headlock. We laughed when he failed and finally, I got him to let me clean his car. When Sodapop and Steve came back, we were both laughing, practically soaked from spilling the soap onto each other. Sodapop smirked, ruffling my hair and playfully smacking Two-Bit away from the car. Me and Two-Bit sat on the crates as Sodapop and Steve worked, joking the entire time.
Then it was Johnny…. Part of me thought that he hated me. After all, he hadn't been around and every time he was, I accidentally found myself avoiding any questions. I was scared to let him see how weak I was. But, I knew that I couldn't. So when he came in after Sodapop and Darry had left, I never felt more relieved.
All I could think of at that moment was his hands in my hair as we talked. I agreed with going to the movies with him and I could see the smile on his face. Still, I wanted him to know something… “Theres one thing I would never lie about,” I finally said. Johnny hummed, a queue for me to go on. I sat up, making sure that he could see me. His eyes were relaxed, a small glint of happiness in his black eyes. I smiled, a relieved chuckle coming out of me.
“That you're my best buddy, Johnny.”