Chapter Text
A warm breeze swept past one of the upper windowsills of the Marcovaldo home on a particularly lazy afternoon. It was summer after all, folks in and about the streets up to whatever business they had, their excited chatter stirring a certain Scorfano from his riposo. His dried out frame lay splayed out on the bed.
It wasn't the best nap he had in ages; probably needed at least 8 more hours of sleep, vision still a bit blurry as he lazily fluttered his eyelids. The effort causing him to give a little huff, sort of a rumble in his throat that lingered a little too long. Maybe he wasn't feeling up to it yet. Immediately evident as he sunk back down into the bedframe and tucked his head more to the side, way too comfortable no doubt as he took in another breath.
Alberto was just that kind of person. One to stay in if Massimo didn't need him, sometimes tinkering off to the side in pursuit of other hobbies. Like practicing his handwriting, scribbling on some paper sparingly with the strokes. Even indulging his impulses to scrounge around for scrap near the coastline, the waves would bring in a myriad of interesting things. Sometimes there'd be a few discarded pieces, bits and bobs of whatever wreckage was scattered about, and so he would go scoop them up. He'd go back home with them in hand, examining each new thing. Sometimes recognition sparked with his tedious fiddling, ideas racing as he noted parts that looked like they could fit. Maybe an engine of some sort? Sometimes even just a knick or knack to add to clothing, but he would still be limited to just imagining. Not that he didn't like being productive, but he would be lying if he said he wouldn't take a day off if you let him. Right now though? He had a good opportunity to recuperate from irresponsible actions, still curled up soundly in bed. But he at least tried to be helpful no matter the circumstance.
As if urging him to go and do just that, the light shining down suddenly grew in intensity. It was already around 4pm, and the sun wasn't letting him catch anymore sleep. So up he stirred.
"Owww, what the fuck..."
A complaint hopefully no one had heard escapes him, accompanied by a painful thrumming in his head.
He would have preferred a different and less rude way to wake, but he tried not to let annoyance gnaw at him. Any sane person would have too. Rolling on over his right side and off the bed, headfirst right into a bucket of water he had left there the night before, not sure what it was for. The clanging and initial confusion from having his head fall into it didn't help stir his memory either.
Probably because he got what people call 'absolutely wasted' so even retracing his no doubt drunken steps was useless. He had gone fishing that morning rather dazed, Massimo could tell what he had done the night before but didn't judge. He probably didn't care too much, especially after Alberto was still able to cast a net properly, and even checked the crab traps without vomiting into the sea.
It was enough for Massimo to duly send him home after the morning haul, telling him not to stay up so late and not to drink so much next time. Suggesting to lay off the thrills might have had him complaining, but his head was a vortex of ache and memory lapses. So he obliged, slowly making his way to the boat before bidding him goodbye for now. There probably didn't need to be, but Alberto gave him a "Sorry Papa."
A huff and a smile from the older man. His antics never seemed to shake his mentor, always ready with understanding even if he made a mess. Dismissed him with a; "Tu la prossima volta non bere, mi raccomando!" as Alberto stumbled from sandy shore back onto the stony road. His feet almost tripping over themselves as he walked, or at least the attempt to. It was trouble navigating back to the house, almost got lost and went around the wrong corner once. The urge to cry almost overtook him. Thankfully he still had enough wits about him to open the door, go upstairs and fall fast asleep.
Still heavy, his eyes were still adjusting to the sight, trying to stave off the lingering sleepiness. The taste of rum still on his lips, and a hint of Ciliegio wafted about in the air despite no bottles in sight. Head raising at least, his lips smacking as he felt the water fall out and over his face.
Ah right, the bucket of water from that failed gelato endeavor. His brain found the answer, but he wasn't going to argue despite how stupid it sounded. Only vaguely recalling how he might have projected onto the once ice-filled bucket how to replicate that sweet treat. Embarrassment began to creep up at the realization he took the gelato part too literally, and apparently forgot the every other part except the frozen, cold part. Oh well.
It didn't phase him in the slightest, even if it meant he now had a soggy shirt. He was used to the feeling anyway. But now that meant he had more laundry to dry out much to his annoyance. Alberto slowly stretched, raising his arms into the air first to let the joints loosen, he was as stiff as a rod. He put them down immediately to sprawl onto the bed.
His tautly segmented fins flared out as his back arched, the empty bucket still on his head. It almost seemed like he didn't care to remember it was even there, maybe because he was too busy scolding himself awake. A jolt and a movement of his hand took care of both those concerns.
At least he remembered to smack it off before laying back down. The 'clink' echoed through the house, followed by his rather wet and heavy footfalls.
I mean what the fuck were you doing, drinking hours past dinnertime and then sitting it out the next morning like nothing bad was gonna happen?
He chided internally, feeling not any more thrilled about his current predicament. Still his fault that he felt like this, the drinking keeping at bay the insecurities. So reliant on it. Even before dinner, around lunchtime, that he had already put his mind to it. So much so that he darted down the road yesterday to that fruity poison, and the kids weren't home from school yet. Well at least his heart had gotten a little jolt out of that. It was not on purpose for him to quicken its pace, but it certainly felt like it was helping rouse him awake. The light outside blinded him as he mistakenly stared up through the window.
The low grumble that escaped his throat was less than befitting. He slowly shifted on his side to the stony wall of the house, eyes now slowly blinking at a piercing whiteness. The sun shone high overhead, with people already about in the street walking, some sitting down to chat. It was cozy. The dappled sunlight shining down on the roads, some fishing gear being hauled around, even the all-too familiar sight of kids riding their biciclettas never got old. Everything as it was meant that Alberto was home, he was safe here, and he was happy.
No other place he could stroll around a town square as languid as he liked one moment, then darting about between kelp forests underwater the next as he dove into the waves below. He wondered if there was more to life than this, more exciting endeavors, more opportunities to learn something new. More time to spend with the ones he loved. Maybe a sign of things that were, and had yet to come in the following years.
It seemed to be a good day so far. Massimo was no doubt out on the water already, going about with a net already thrown and waiting with that stoic expression of his. Huh, guess he might be doing double shifts later if he wanted to ask a favor, not that Massimo would mind.
He knew Alberto was always eager to please. Seeing how the boy worked in his house, trying to do him good and make himself useful. Now, he never always did things without fault, like a screwed-up deliveries or holding the wrong end of a hammer. But he loved the boy like a son after all. Knowing full well that the child was abandoned, probably thinking his worth as a person was tied to what he could bring in labor. The thought never failed to unsettle Massimo, who loved his family unconditionally despite his tough exterior. Alberto knew that from a little heart-to-heart by the docks one night. He said he never understood who could leave a child behind like that, sobs worming their way into his furious tirade. But it was out of love, the want to take care of a boy who in some ways might have reminded him of himself, and the sentiment only made Alberto want to try harder for the man.
So he got up.
Still picking out cleaner attire for the day. He hadn't overstayed his time in bed anyway, Massimo would expect him to be at least a little late. But with Alberto being himself today, he was acutely aware of how he should take it upon himself to be earlier. That was the bare minimum of kindness he could pay forward, punctuality and disciplined work. Was it any surprise that despite his reluctance to do anything else, that he idolized the man? Loved him like a father after all they had been through. He wouldn't dare disappoint him.
His thoughts drifted back to his attire.
Ok, his camicia, all clean with that checkered pattern? Check. His bretelle? Definitely check, a prominent feature on his usual attire. He had saved up enough to go buy himself a few clothing items, with Massimo's permission of course, even asked him for his opinion on some of the outfits. To which he seemed to agree with.
Now where did he put those? He could have sworn he just placed the footwear nearby, and he made sure to look for- Aha. He saw them, right at the end of the staircase, neatly tucked away. Fumbling for rather heavy boots, his intuition suddenly perked up. The empty house that Massimo left for fishing, how he had not smelled a hint of feline in the air. It was all telling him that Machiavelli tagged along, the little creature nowhere in sight. Not even as so much a 'meow' to be heard. Figures, that adorable thing would have wanted to anyway, wafting in smells of the sea.
And here he thought he wasn't a cat person.
Well, he definitely didn't hate them, but he just couldn't help his smile; slowly creeping across his face at the thought of a happy and unbothered Machiavelli, accompanying Massimo on duty. Sniffing the air whilst walking over to the next block. As much as his introduction to the feline was rocky, he loved that cat. How his face would sometimes be so neutral yet purred like a motorboat. The times he'd roll around to meet the sun shining through the window, then to lay down, basking. Even just the sight of him munching some bits of fish intrigued Alberto.
Oh how life was good. It might have not been clear at the moment, but here he was experiencing life how he should have been all those years ago, even the mundane moments he treated with care like he would never experience them again. Every moment on the street with the sun shining down, the people that sometimes nodded off to the hum of the waves. Of course he still had his preferences, but maybe he felt he had been given a second chance at everything. He didn't dare forget to at least grab a bite of some pasta. A pot had been left on stovetop, awaiting him to find it filled perhaps. Massimo was always so thoughtful to the boy, he never expected too much but still made it a point to show Alberto to be responsible. So hastily putting on that snazzy coppola, he went out, making sure to close the gate behind him.
A little pep in his step as he strolled down to the docks, the summer breeze worn all over his face.
It wasn't until he was closer down did he start to feel unsure of himself, a creeping sense of dread on the horizon of his otherwise sunny day. Usually feelings like this would be flushed out of his system with a good ol' Silenzio Bruno, even if he said it to himself. But this time, it felt as if he wanted the feeling to stay, that maybe he was right to doubt. Like he deserved to be judged for everything he had ever thought of. He could only wince as he sat down on a bench.
"Ah right, they would be here later this week."
Alberto's own thoughts sunk into his mind. He'd be able to see his two favorite people, not that Massimo wasn't good enough, the word 'favorite' in this context had different implications. More intimately personal implications. The weight dawning on his conscience as he began to think of how they'd all catch up.
Was it going to be like always, a hug and "Hey!" while they all smiled about, maybe too excited to read the others properly? Not that he could ever seem to when he himself was excited. Kind of hard to get past it when you're only talking to your two favorite people in the world. He was only a little anxious, it would be a few days until they'd all be down at the train station.
He would expect Signor and Signora Paguro, even Nonna to be there to anticipate their arrival. Maybe he'd chance seeing an extra chair pulled up, either for him or for Massimo. And an amicable greeting as they waited. Of course they would be, their boy was coming home. Maybe the sky would be cloudy that day. The rain might fall onto their scales and their colors would come out, full flush. And they'd still wait until the chugging in the distance drew closer, and slowed. Alberto's fingers would have a strained trembling once more, anticipation devouring him whole.
There would come that welcome sight of metal and lights. It would halt, the train doors opening and the clamor of passengers can be heard. Hairdos and hats pouring out onto the station, yet his eyes were only for two. He'd spot a redhead in the sea of people, beside her, a boy with brown curls slowly turning spring green as either the rain or his own bottled water drenches his face. Alberto loved it when he showed off like that. His hair would morph into those beautiful sea blue fins, even bluer than the ocean at midday. And that same redhead would point in the distance, with a wide grin to meet their best friend from afar.
They won't even have moved a few feet from leaving the train when he scoops them up in a group hug. Everyone would be giddy, despite the fishy smell.
Why wouldn't he go for a hug?
It began five summers ago, when Alberto fell first for Luca. And he wondered how he had ever been so nonchalant about it. That fateful day he had met him near the island, it was frightening at first. To try and shove down that feeling, alongside trying to keep up his 'cool guy' personality.
Meeting a rather cute boy for the first time in a while was a blessing he wasn't counting on, but he would take it. It was a relief to find someone else out here who wouldn't just shoo him away. The initial fear he had been regarded by the clearly sheltered boy, probably had been spoiled as a hatchling. It was funny, sure, but he didn't mind the company. Especially someone who he could show around. How he could find someone to entrust his lonesome self too. No, too early for that. Another self-chiding. It almost hurt him when Luca would glance over, almost as if reading him somehow. The way he sometimes had to stop himself from asking if he wanted to be his boyfriend, or if he thought he was cool annoyed him so much. He wanted to, he just wanted to pour his heart out and trust it to Luca, then and there! Yet he kept had to fight off the feeling.
He had just made a new friend after all, he was still showing him all the cool stuff he knew about the human world. All the bitter things of what his father showed.
And that would be enough for now.
He thought then, anxious at the prospect to have someone to be able to show things, and hopefully to impress. He was with a person who wanted him as much as he wanted them, even if it would stay amicable forever. That first day he had introduced Luca to dry land, he had no idea if he would return. And somehow that scared him. Yet, he kept coming back. They even technically ran away together. Such was young love, or something. Seemed like he was afraid under all the quips. Even he wasn't sure of himself in that moment, maybe it was just the mounting anxiety. Maybe it was something more. He could only look at the other boy's hand longingly, only catching himself if he glanced too long.
Sometimes he couldn't believe his urges, almost catching himself confess in mundane conversations. Alberto didn't really want to ask Luca if he also felt the same rush. Of how this was a deep feeling that neither of them ever had nor knew they wanted. But that wouldn't do, as he lay on the wooden panels, his heart felt splintered. The disappointment of rejection lingered on his mind even as they fell asleep at each other's side. They had experienced the human town together in just one day, met new people too. Like he'd trade that away anytime, even at the cost of never mentioning he happened to fall in love with him. To fall in love, huh. He called himself an idiot, glancing over at the boy he wanted everything to do with. A sigh as he felt his heart sink.
Hadn't been the first time he'd ever closed his eyes and cried, but tonight with him felt worth the stinging.
Never did he dare to speak his mind. Fearing the worst if he let it slip. He wasn't exactly being keen on being left again, the gentleness of another was not something he wanted to let go of. And this time it was a genuine connection. This time, someone wanted to be with him. It further and while he might have chalked it up to just a crush in his head, it was definitely there. He recalls when he sat down with Luca under the night sky, at the top of his tower. A lonely abode no longer. When they'd work; tinkering on aspirations for Vespas and set them off down the hill, riding into the waters below. The impact softened by the churned waters and the company. It was a direct plunge into friendship, into something more maybe.
How Luca had indirectly thanked him for showing him so much, learning about so many new things, to which he simply brushed off with a shrug and a laugh. It was a genuine show of approval from him. Sounding cheery enough to be encouraging, and hopefully vague enough to seem amicable at most. No way he'd let that feeling go when they were together. That would be enough for now.
It all came to a head when he let those feelings of jealousy and his fear of abandonment get in the way. And they were having it so good until then too, but sometimes love was illogical like that. He spurned himself on with bravado, maybe Luca would understand if he kept showing him more of the world. So off to the human town they went, off around to see sights for some Vespa. Yeah right, it was past that now. He hoped his shaky hands hadn't been noticed, that warm feeling returning when Luca offered a hand.
Even if they had made a new friend together, her father had even let them have dinner with her. Joined him on a fishing trip to help haul in a catch, it was going so well. Yet the more they hung around with her, the more they got to know her dreams and aspirations, Alberto couldn't help but feel like he was about to be left behind again. Luca was able to relate to her more. He didn't blame either of them, they were just great together like that. Something about how the big fish in the sky was something else. So much for being an 'expert'. Luca would probably call him a liar teasingly, but it would hurt like he meant it. The way she seemed to grip Luca's interest, it was the same as he had seen when he played with him on the island. That soft laughter they shared, he wanted to be part of it. Guess his hopes and dreams no longer included Alberto as a part of them. And yet he didn't blame her, as much as he shot bitter glances and snarled when she ruffled his hair. He could only blame himself and Luca, the former more so. It made sense.
Alberto only knew so much, he was an 'expert' at best. That word again, why was he going this far? He wasn't an expert in any sense of the word. He was probably less than Luca, in a relative sort of way. Breathing in the briny air was all he could do to calm himself then. It stung, as if telling him he was being an idiot with this doubting stuff.
And yet he still considered to let go, to ruin Luca's own chances, only a consideration. It was selfish after all. Why would they when they've come this far, together? For him he risked it all, and maybe he was willing to risk for. He only wished misery wouldn't be the only thing to love when it was all said and done.
All it took was a few minutes for everything to unravel then.
It was the worst decision he ever made it seemed. The accusations spouted, shoving and throttling one another on the stony shore. How they couldn't see eye to eye, his fist raised in desperate anger, it was too much. Anger hung around like a thick cloud. The storm inside him only swelled with the additional angst, circling around his guarded heart as he stubbornly pressed his decision on. He let himself face down into the water, eventually revealing what he was as he stood. Even as Giulia shrieked out, he forced himself to press on. Not that he was even all that scary to begin with, he was still only slightly taller than Giulia. His periwinkle scales glimmered as he tried to convince Luca to no avail, the latter unwilling to out himself. A stick still raised at him in defense, not that Alberto was even willing to fight. At least the anger was dispelled.
So he was thrown under the bus, and disappeared into the waves. The heartbreak taking him further under to his own kind of hell. The commotion of kids clamoring and harpoons thudding into the water was distant enough for Alberto to only hear his own choked sobs. He had never swam as fast as he had before, the lingering doubt on his shoulders. Never had he felt so powerless, and for what? Making a stupid mistake that cost friendship? Pathetic. The thought felt like a smack on the face, realizing how selfish it had been in the moment. Why would he try to ruin something he never had a chance to have? Well at least he was still alive. That would be enough for now.
But of course Luca just had to come back for him, that was just the type of person he was.
Idly, Alberto held himself up in the tower. His head in his hands, rocking slowly to his own panicked breathing. He knew Luca would come back to the tower. But anyone with half a mind could guess that too. Where else had Alberto to go after being hurt in the world outside? He had to hide out, making sure no one could reach him.
The ladder lay demolished, testament to his scorned will for daring to fall for another boy. Fitting, his heart was in pieces after all. He scoffed, thinking it was a funny coincidence. Maybe he was being stupid but it felt like the right thing to do. He was the kid that ruined everything after all. No way he'd let himself be vulnerable to anyone come morning, no way he'd hear him out after what happened. Yet seeing him at the bottom of the stairs made him falter, even as he stared him down angrily, Alberto couldn't find it in himself to just shut him out.
Against his better judgement maybe, he let him speak. Beginning with a "What are you doing here?" Hopefully, that didn't give away the conflict within him. How he wanted to push and pull Luca away and so close to him, how he screamed silently for understanding. That maybe from the steps to the tower's roof, it wouldn't be obvious how much he wanted to call him an idiot but hug him all in one breath.
It was intense, even as Luca began to grasp for words he needed, Alberto knowing fully well he didn't have them. So heavy was his heart in his chest, heartbreak was everything in that moment. But he couldn't exactly blame him. He couldn't find it in himself to forgive Luca for something he didn't do intentionally. It was natural anyway, it's not like their friendship meant anything. No, that wasn't true! Heartbreak was so confusing, and heartbreak had never been louder. He tried his best to push Luca away, dismissing him so generically. It still felt wrong, he didn't want to treat him like how he felt by the rocks. Maybe Luca would go away if he showed he really wasn't having it, simply disappearing from the other boy's view, hiding a stream of tears.
"Great, you're sorry, now go away." Perhaps if he made it sound hurtful enough, Luca would oblige. He was already in enough trouble for leaving his house for the surface world, surely a good boy like him would listen, unlike Alberto. He heard the faint steps against wood slowly pace around, seemingly trailing off below.
And then, silence. It worked for better or for worse. Now he could be alone again with his thoughts, alone to strike out in this world that denied him everything. A world without Luca.
Yet as the embers flickered by, he still he heard an "Alberto? What are those marks on the wall?"
Dannazionne, Luca. Not like this. The boy who he would die for was back, breaking his heart in ways he wasn't aware of. He still didn't want to speak, not while the emotions churned inside him like the vast, stormy sea would swallow up debris. The hurt was still eating away at him. It felt like his insides would relent, bursting at the seams to tell him away. So he humored the feeling, maybe it'd go away, maybe he'd forget all about it if he did. A scornful “Go away!” that he really didn't mean, tears welling as the guilt clouded his mind. The way Luca still pushed, placing a hand on his shoulder even as the hate inside burned brighter than the fire he faced. It never was supposed to be like this. But in that moment he blamed everything and everyone. Most especially himself, that's why Luca was the good kid. And Alberto was the kid that ruined everything. He wouldn't have to tell him again, hearing him descend abruptly.
His mind was clearly made up. Not that he dared stop the boy he loved, he was only half-there, the lingering want for Luca to be by his side once again. Not even sure if he was still looking at him, he shrugged. Not caring what the boy he loved thought of him in that moment. Might as well have laid out the rest of his darker secrets, sure why not?!? But he still felt guilty.
"Tell me what they mean."
The prompt made him soften his tone, he really couldn't bear to be mad at Luca. It wasn't his fault he didn't know. Not after everything they've been through, even if he was distraught at what unfolded earlier that day.
It stung to remember, but in a way it was therapeutic. They reconciled of course, albeit indirectly. He had to make it clear standing in the rain, fully in seafolk form that "We're still okay." In a way, it was another moment of vulnerability. That he wasn't mad anymore. Not that he was ever mad at Luca, just at what he did then. How could he ever be mad at Luca? He loved him.
So much so that he intervened, dared to put his life on the line again for him. But not even Ercole's harpoon nor the weather would change anything. Giulia was more than happy to offer help. And of course the two boys returned the favor. They even won the Cup together. Now with all the townspeople seeing them in a new light this time, acceptance, how Luca's family had been there for him. It felt like they had more than made it up to one another. Then buying the Vespa for their dream together. Except, he thinks for a moment. Maybe it should not be about what he wants, but what Luca wanted. His eyes lingering with doubt, Giulia noticing but choosing not to bring it up. Instead, she opts to tell him that "If you need me, I'll be all ears." Before pedaling off. A moment of hesitation as he realizes there are more important things than his own wants. Maybe they wanted to travel the world sight-seeing then, of course he'd carry that with him. But Luca's own dreams to go to school had to take priority, he wanted to learn. Both of them wanted more from the world, yet in such differing ways. Alberto was content as he was in Portorosso, to him it was already home.
So of course, his heart crumbles only a little. He knows its the right choice albeit a difficult one. Even with having just bought a ticket for him, Alberto could not help but let his thoughts linger on the days before. But he steels himself, it was for the better. All eventually culminating in the goodbye at the train station, handing him off the ticket to his future.
That would be enough for now. Must have been so hard for him to see Luca off... All while the denial simmers in that pot of feelings. He mused to himself then; "At least he's got company..."
It still stings him to even consider the possibility. Not that Giulia wasn't great, she saved their asses a bunch of times already. She was also really cool, so amazingly confident and capable. Even if he wouldn't admit it, he felt relief in knowing they'd keep each other safe in Genova, but he was still hesitant to wrangle with his feelings for her.
It's just that what if because of their time away, their new environment... Their personalities too. What if they change? What if they make new friends there, cooler friends than Alberto and they forgot all about him... And then they'd never come back, what then? It unsettled him, why was he worried about that for them?
He takes a deep breath. No, that wouldn't happen.
Pssshhh... It was just jealousy speaking, and he knew that. Of course they'd be bound to make new friends over there while they pursue an education! It was normal, they had their own lives to live out.
Yet he still missed the two dearly, a feeling he considered worth losing sleep over. Their smiles in the night sky all the summers past, the three of them stargazing, just playing, doing whatever. A feeling grew stronger in his heart; longing.
It wasn't easy to understand at first, especially since he was so afraid of losing Luca that now he was fine with letting him go and live his own life.
But it was only fair after all, Luca wasn't telling him to go do something else, respecting his choice to stay and help out Massimo. The stoic fisherman reassured him that his friends would be fine, Giulia's mother was just as capable, if not more, than he was. And she would surely understand Luca stowing along for the year. Yet, why was he so worried about Giulia too? He assumed it was natural, considering she risked life and limb for even getting them into their house, much more so the race. Sort of like having owed her something maybe? Yet he searched his feelings and was surprised to find something deeper. He cursed himself silently for only realizing it then, chalking it up to how she probably just thought of him as a friend. Or worse, a sibling. Even if he liked the idea of belonging, it really wasn't appealing to think about how he might have been leading himself on.
It certainly wasn't like how he was with Luca, how anxious he'd be to rush to his defense if a threat presented itself to him. The way he'd disregard insults to his own name, yet taking offense if as so much a childish insult found its way into a sentence addressing the other seafolk. He recalled how braving his own fears and putting himself in between Luca and harm's way was spurned out of something. Unsure of how to describe it really, but he felt it was more than just attraction at that point. And maybe, he thought to himself, that Giulia would soon cross that threshold somehow? He could only hope. There was much to still figure out it seemed, tapping his hands against the wall.
Three summers ago during one lazy afternoon, they invited him to a new place across town, something regarding a few carnival prices or so he vaguely recalls. "Just like old times!" Giulia seemed insistent on it, especially when he almost refused. But of course he didn't. Instead answered with a "Idiota, it hasn't been that long." He always did wonder how she simply gave him a soft smile as the three of them walked hand in hand, Luca giggled just a bit too loud for him to not wonder if they had something planned.
Maybe it had clicked a little more solidly when he reminisced about them, the Underdogs. All of them together just in pursuit of that Portorosso Cup so they could buy a Vespa. Well, of course that plan's long since changed but he still liked remembering. He missed them, not wanting to have anyone left out of the good things they did. They were his happiness keeping him afloat ironically enough, such daydreams stretching into his routinely fishing activities. Massimo wouldn't have noticed, he was always busying himself with the nets as Alberto waded to check the crab traps. His days were busy, but his mind even more so when he returned to lay in bed, thoughts of the two on repeat.
Bring them back to me. A whisper to a calm sea at night, carried on the wind for distances so far yet so familiar, down from Portorosso's shores. The gentle tide rushing over each finite grain, each day spent playing by there. He remembered how calming they were. Not the sand nor the tide, but his best friends. Guilt almost twists him, making the remembrance bittersweet. But it would not be so simple to get over. Sleep was lost as he had been in thoughts of them, all of them together. Despite the regret, he hopes his words won't be lost on wind. It couldn't have been clearer that it was worth the late night spent.
Now on nights such as those, his mind naturally wandered to thoughts of them. Their smiles, their happiness, their love. Love? Maybe it seemed too strong a word for now, and maybe he was being a little selfish. Maybe just infatuation? Yet he still knew he loved them. Oh, what bliss. His senses let him take in the nightly harmonies, a myriad of which had danced into his ears, rousing his mind with more thoughts. It made him too giddy to focus on anything else, sometimes forgetting important due dates and schedules. But to his credit, he would still hold responsibilities close to his heart. He knew it was what they would want for him.
Seafolk had better senses than humans generally speaking, but not by a large margin. Alberto's focus simply amplifying what he had caught wind of. The chirps of insects in the air, il grillo no doubt. The fields and garden patches were enough for such creatures to hang around. And why wouldn't they? The town was quiet, yet bustling when it needed to be. The sights were enough for him yet once again, would the other two still find it as thrilling as he did, whatever they were up to right now?
Speaking of.
Alberto imagined the three of them strolling along the seaside, hands joined. But not in a simple, giddy way. There was what felt like a deeper understanding with their contact. An aura of affection seemed to hang in the air around them, it was so unfamiliar. For once, it felt mutual even if in a thought.
He continued having these thoughts until about two summers ago, still deep in denial for his growing feelings, he decided to ask Giulia what to do with it. At least he could figure out himself with her expertise. He'd have to keep in mind how to dance around admittance to his feelings though. Now how do I not be too obvious? His final thoughts as he found her by the docks.
It was different from the feeling of a 'crush', he learned. She explained it was when you like someone; but more than a friend, and still less than a girlfriend or boyfriend. Two more terms Alberto was not familiar with. A giggle from her. "Oh Alberto, you really don't know what those are? It's like being married but without the marriage, you're together and stuff." That made sense to him, relationships took time to grow after all, no use rushing into starting a family if you weren't in love.
It seemed she wanted to share something, her eyes a bit shifty despite the smile. "So, what do you think of love and all that?" He began.
She was caught off-guard.
"Huh?!? Sorry what?" Her hands had apparently smacked his own, the sudden agitation telling him she did have something on her mind.
"Well, I just wanted to know what you thought about that, seeing as you have more experience than me. I barely know any rules to love and stuff. All I really know is when you love someone, you gotta show it. Well, when you can at least."
His expression mellowing. "I think I fell in love you see. And I hope that doesn't strain anything between us, I don't like to think of you as a sister really, I mean you're my friend and all. But I don't know."
He didn't expect it to turn into a more heart-to-heart kind of conversation, unsure if he still wanted to press on.
"Well, Alberto. I kind of get it. It's by technicality we're related anyhow. But if anything, I still see you as a friend too, nothing too personal, capisce?"
He nodded. "Capisco." The sun's shine was gentler now.
"But don't think it can't be more than that, than anything else we've been through, 'Beto." Her tone as soft as her smile, returning as she looked to him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" An awkward silence followed as he waited on an answer that never arrived. The ground now her focus. Even so, it was not enough to tear away the moment they shared. It felt a little easier to breathe.
So he went for it.
"Ahem. Uh yeah, there's another thing I guess Giulia... I, I'm in love with yo- two different people. Like, arghhhh!" He put his head in his hands. "I know, that's not normal or something, but come on! I just don't know. It's not even because I'm confused. Well, I am confused but I'm sure I love them both! I'm so confused on what to do, like, how and why and-" A hand fell his shoulder, tender yet somewhat firm in grip, hers.
The stare on her face made him think she was going to berate him. Or worse, leave him there too.
"Well, Alberto. If you must know then, I personally don't think of that as anything wrong. It just means you have a lot of love in your heart maybe? After all, everyone experiences life differently. No need to stress over it. Maybe one day, you'd find the courage to tell both of them, maybe even work something out."
It was like being forgiven for a sin he never set on doing, his heart feeling more and more alive. Maybe he was just overthinking things. Her smile looked a little gentler as she locked her gaze with his once more, even her eyes seemed so appreciative of him.
Then she continued. "Well, we better head back. Papa might worry his head off waiting. And y'know, Luca." Raising her hands and rolled her eyes, putting them down as they stood up off the stone. That earned a giggle from Alberto, who said something about how people didn't remove their heads if they were worried. At least the walk home wasn't awkward.
At least Giulia and Luca have been getting to know each other better in Genova as schoolmates or whatever they're doing there. Alberto thought. Lessons are more fun together after all. As much as the thoughts are positive enough to keep worries at bay, he can't help but still want more. He's been writing to Luca often, a favorite routine when he's not busy. Each letter so full of inquiries, catching up Luca on how's Portorosso been ever since he left. So its going well for the most part. The replies never cease to brighten his day, perhaps more than the sun itself. He just can't wait to meet him again. Miles away in Genova, the other seafolk is in bliss. A quiet squeal into his pillow as the thoughts make his mind their racetrack.
He's got friends! And he's actually doing well in school. So much more than his previous job of herding goatfish. Meeting Alberto was a scary experience, especially fearing the repercussions from his parents if they found out he broke their rules. The way he felt so rebellious, storming off onto land and into town with a boy he had known for only a few days. The ups, the downs, and the little victories that broke their hearts. He had been away from Alberto for the better part of a year, off studying.
Always anticipating when he'd come back to visit. Even when life's priorities busied his mind with thoughts of what scholarships to accept if offered, if he should stay his course. Even if the world came crashing down on him, he'd always have time to spare for Alberto. He accidentally vocalizes his conflicted feelings.
Downstairs, a certain redhead busies herself with the dishes her mother helped along with, her schoolwork was done anyway so she had time to spare. A yelp. Signora Marcovaldo considers inquiring if Luca was alright, but Giulia puts her mind at ease, saying he was just excited. That it probably only set in for him now he was really in school, studying and living a fulfilling life, especially given he had not known anything like it before. She doesn't dare squash his excitement for new things, it's cute in a way. Such was the fascination of youth with interests within their reach, eventually.
Her mother shrugs, going back to scrubbing a fork from dinner, somewhat caked in sauce. She comments on how it reminds her of her thicker paintbrushes, one even had gaps in its hardened bristles. Giulia teases that it looks like her hair, to which she gets an affectionate noogie.
Upstairs, Luca could barely keep the excitement down. It kept up like a barrage of tides, crashing against his full heart. He's learning so much with her like he did with Alberto first going to Portorosso! Giulia is so amazing, she's got things all worked out! And better yet, he might have a crush on her!
Wait what? Uh oh. He does have a crush on her.
It's not even in the compulsory heterosexual way like he initially thinks it is.
"Maybe." He reasons, that "I'm just feeling pressured to like her. And that like I owe her something for this whole wonderful experience that I get to study in school, right? It makes sense! I'm just being weird about her kindness, her warm smile an- Her what?!?!?" His mind scrambling for another excuse, it's not like he wants to hold her hand. And even if he does, its for safety reasons! Another lie.
It causes a mild twinge of excitement to pluck at a heartstring there. While his reasoning seems good, its just another way of delaying the inevitable. He knows the real reason. He'd rather dance around it than acknowledge the truth of the matter. But that doesn't mean he wanted it, no matter how hard he tries to veil the sight.
Day by day, Luca takes it upon himself to do a little self-observation. Through the little things at first. The way he starts to stammer around her when trying to bring up something, often forgetting what it was to begin with. he'd offer her his hand when walking along, no other reason like security, right? Wrong. Sometimes he'd offer help to her unprompted. They'd be small, inconsequential moments like helping her carry her stuff home from school, offering that they'd walk by a nearby forest because he knew she liked passing by there. She once told him "Hey, Luca. I remembered I told you I like passing by here, I kind of want to say thank you but its weird you're doing this? And so timely too, what do you have planned?"
A bashful smile crossed his face, nothing to say but his heart in his throat, almost begging to sing out to her. "Sorry, was I a little vague? Quello che volevo dire era... What I mean to ask is do you have any plans later, and do they involve me?" There's that inquisitive look he's all too familiar with. The sight makes him aware of how his cheeks feel flushed. So of course he doesn't give her a direct answer.
"Well if you must know, not really. I don't have any plans. Well, yet I suppose, did you have any in mind? I just wanted to walk you by here because you like it! That's all really..."
She searches his face for any inconsistency or sign he could be lying, but it comes up blank. It didn't mean she was satisfied with her inquiry either. But given she had no other reason to doubt him, it would do for now. They were happy walking together, and that's all that mattered to them.
In the back of his mind, he starts to makes his conclusion. That he just genuinely started catching feelings for her! And this was going to be rather difficult to manage...
He notices that its certainly less defined and not as impactful as his first love. Oh yes, his first love that he broke the heart of and stitched back up in a messy yet sincere way. How he felt realizing Alberto loved him even as the train rolled away, but the all-too-familiar feeling is steadily growing. He doesn't quite grasp it completely. Maybe only feeling that his heart had somehow grown enough space for not one, but two people in his life. He has to do a doubletake when thinking it over. Wouldn't Alberto be fuming if he found out, wasn't this cheating? It made him feel awful yet somehow only more determined to press forward with this feeling. He values their time together, but he also wants something more with Giulia. No one should be left out! He loved them, loved them both. And definitely in a romantic way too. His left hand twitches for a moment. Rather than feeling extremely overjoyed, there was a little hesitation in his mind. He did not get it at all. Confusing, yet still the feeling is... It's great.
Another thing Luca doesn't know, Giulia also misses Alberto. Misses as in really misses. She wonders how else she might have reached out to him then, more than words and a hand outstretched. Maybe she should have been more direct? A small epiphany in her mind gestates, that maybe he misses them too. She knows the way he looks at Luca. She's equal parts guilty and relieved that it looks like they left him behind even if its far from the truth. Guilty, for obvious reasons.
And relief, because she somehow knows he would not want anyone else to come back but her and Luca. She knows the looks reserved for them. As much as he tends to be loud, he communicated so much more with body language. His protective gaze far off as he fidgets with his fingers, the way she'd sneak a glance at him also sneaking a glance. There's longing. Maybe she'd figure it out soon enough, but she's left a little confused as of the moment. The night air rolls in through their window. Her heart is filled with wanting, yet still so hesitant. Oh well, not like she had ever felt anything like that before. It was a little thrilling, even if her poor heart was confused.
Oh, how the heart can only be kept lonely for so long. The night before the train ride, they had already packed their things before dinnertime, changing into their attire once the plates hit the sink. Giulia's mom knocks in the early morning, asking if they're awake already. The sound of rolling wheels and "Give us ten minutes!" answers her question. Even so, she's excited to see them off, already arriving at the platform with luggage in tow. She has a slew of reminders before departure; to take care, to always check their things before going places, even to always stay in groups. "Stay with Alberto, don't want any mishaps now. Dio mio, I love you darlings, do have fun!" She brings them in for a hug, the smell of woodwork and dried acrylics are still on her pants. "Ciao, I think that's your train now. Remember to call when you can!" After boarding, she's soon a dot on the distant platform.
The journey back is less than eventful, the pair have gone down this many times before. Rolling off past some buildings and forest, a bit of Finally, after hours of gazing at scenery and nodding off, they see the station. The day is still up, and so is the familiar sight of that seaside town. The stone-layered sides laying in the low sun glint lazily, Giulia can even make out a few fishing boats not too far out as she nudges Luca's side. He wakes with a surprised groan, a warble stuck in his throat as he yawns for a moment, his eyes widening at the realization. They're home. And wouldn't you know it, everyone's there. They count five people and a small blob tucked under the arm of the largest person, must be Machiavelli. And even if they can't see clearly who it is, they know that the rather dashing figure that had just stood up was Alberto.
They dart out, speedily carrying their luggage with strength from nowhere. Alberto looking a little concerned as the bags barely skid past down to his left. They give a "Ciao, Alberto!" before greeting the rest of their family. He dares not interrupt them, they deserve to be first to be greeted after all. Then after what seemed like forever, they turn back around with a "Now don't think we forgot what we usually do!" He's waiting expectantly. They rush at him, and he scoops them up in his broader shoulders. A group hug is all it takes for Luca to panic internally. But he doesn't let it show, not wanting to ruin the moment.
On the train ride to Portorosso, Luca had already been rehearsing how and when to admit defeat. That Alberto Scorfano had slain his heart and he was to offer it out, every last emotion. A bit of "So, wanna go down to the beach at sundown maybe?" while he selected out a gift, a little wooden Vespa. Sure it was not Luca's own handiwork, but it was the thought that counted, right? Maybe he's panicking on how lame an idea that might be to express himself. He would decide to give it later, hesitation and anxiety suddenly gripping him. Maybe he's ashamed of himself.
It isn't long before the other two notice him being so quiet and reserved. Giulia offering that maybe he's tired from the ride here, whispering down in the other's ear that "We should cheer him up."
So the two decide to try and surprise him with a gift or a hangout maybe. A "No, but he'll expect that!" here, a "I think it'll still be good for him." in reply. Giggles fly through their conversation as they dream up how to cheer up Luca. Poking fun at the other's plans for how to go about sneaking a sand castle in the shape of a Vespa to him, they'd have to drag him out to the beach. They weren't even sure if he was still up for walking. The two continuing to brainstorm as they pace nearby Luca, who had resigned himself to sitting down near some steps. Ideas continue to fly. Maybe a larger serving of gelato, or perhaps a bigger Vespa so the three of them can all ride together.
The first idea is waved off because it might be too much for his appetite. Secondly, they didn't know who they could borrow from a Vespa around the village, somehow they would have to. Giulia brings up how he was fiddling with the wooden gift, immediately wracking Alberto with a mild twinge of guilt. But they could not deny it was adorable in a way.
They want to help him out, make him happy. The topic of whether or not he even wanted to hang out with them comes up, Giulia shutting up that doubt with "Of course he does, it's been on his mind all the time!" Never does it cross their mind that he can hear them clear as day, having forgotten to whisper their secrecies. Oh he definitely wants to be with them, they just don't anticipate to what degree, nor do they notice his little smile as he stares on. It gives him hope that maybe they'd understand his feelings for them, both.
And so summer flies by with them hanging out, playing, sharing stories, experiencing the coasts.
Frequently swimming out with Giulia in the afternoon, the two seafolk don't want her missing out. They even ventured into deeper waters, zipping and zagging around her like a prolonged display. It might have been irresponsible in hindsight. Massimo had no idea how far they went out at the time, he was busy fixing some of their things at home. He only knew they were all out, not even as so much a suspicion that they even neared Isola del Mare all by themselves. But Giulia trusts them, she wants this. Each of them even hold her hands as they guide her around some coral, side by side. They both take turns giving her a boost upward when she needs a breather. Snorkeling equipment was the best she had packed for the underwater foray, from her mother. She feels safe, they're her lifeline outside for always. Feeling at home with them despite the depths of the cerulean sea.
Eventually, it had been time to freshen up and go back. The sun was already starting to go down and they didn't want to be out so late. They arrive to Massimo waiting for them in the kitchen, bursting into raucous laughter as they come in. Maybe it's because he's relieved to see them home safe. Over dinner she mulls over the day's events. Risks mean nothing to her in that instant, she's engrossed with their happiness. The two boys sitting across from one another just hamming it up like its nothing, its all so effortless how they make her day. She notices her heart feel lighter, her cheeks suddenly hurting. It's not long after that Giulia tests the waters to see if she is not reading them wrong, sort of a "caro" here and there, "ragazzi" enunciated with a more flirty tone.
It's not that she doesn't think they care, they sometimes slip up and look a little too long at her. Mouth trembling a little too much while in a smile. It's to put her mind at ease, the satisfaction of confirming what she already knew. She keeps wading in and out of endearing terms to make sure she's got them, and sure enough they snag on the line. Now and then they'll go "Ohh, yeah haha." Their little bubbly laughs underwater when she teases them about one another.
Maybe even dropping a little hint that she was single. Literally telling them "You know, I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Well, yet." Making sure to emphasize the last word, followed up by a giggle. Not that it was always direct. The instances she brought it up were always inserted into conversations about life, and relationship rambling so nothing seemed off for anyone. But she did notice their cheeks flush more often at similar topics mention, their hands that are already grasping for one another seem to want to reach out to her too. They were as obvious as they were the first time they met. Never did Alberto's longing gaze appear for anyone else but Luca, until now. The frequency of their muted affections all but denied the gravity of the situation.
The thought makes her heart explode with a beautiful intensity. The water in her glass illuminated by the moonlight, having crept through the window and contrasting the darkened room. It reminded her of the deeper water they had been in, how they rushed her upward for air. She really did need some lung exercise. But they did not judge, simply asking through her surprised coughing if she was okay. "A little cough, don't worry i miei ragazzi." It turned into laughter when Luca smacked Alberto on the head, chiding him for not taking into account this was maybe too deep for her. Somehow she liked how protective they both were of her. That doubt was dissipating now. She didn't care that the thoughts weren't normal, maybe she did love them both. "Oh, I do love them both..." She screams into her pillow, thankfully muffled as the other two slept soundly.
There's a bit of denial when one day on the fourth summer together, Alberto asks Luca: "Hey, uhm so you like Giulia, I think? I can see the way you get all red around her!"
A playful ribbing as he nudged Luca with his arm, him jolting at the accusation. Moments ago and before they were getting sleepy, the conversation had just been about what college Luca was considering to apply for, something with a course on Astronomy preferably. Now it was, this intrusion of feelings.
The younger seafolk fires back with a; "What, Alberto? No, of course not! Are you hearing yourself? No no, I definitely don't..."
Although all that's met with is a deadpan stare, causing Luca to pedal back to admittance. But Alberto isn't jealous somehow, if anything he finds it comforting they both do. Maybe one day they'd tell her, together. "Yeah yeah, its cool. Don't worry! I'm fine with it." He softly smiles at his friend, who by now is a little concerned yet making no move to inquire.
"Well, I'm sure you'd also be cool if I told you I liked her too, right?" He snickers. Stretching his back before he can elaborate, spine snapping into place and all that before laying back down. This time, noticeably closer to the other's face.
Then a yawn, prompting Alberto to stare up at the visible part of the night sky outside the window, with eyes about to close. "But know that I also like you, like like. Both of you, I guess I'll figure it out?"
Another yawn as his eyelids drooped over. As slurred his speech might have sounded, Luca somehow knew he was still there. Still speaking his mind and barely putting in effort to filter his thoughts.
" I really do mean it, Luca. After everything we've been through. I know its probably weird or something... " He looked a little uneasy, the other boy moving to reassure him with his own words, but he continued. " But like I mean, who cares if its weird when its not wrong anyway? I think these feelings are real. So like, I'd wanna experience them with the both of you. But for the record-" He giggled despite the sleepiness. "I fell for you first, since the first day we met. Was reeeeaaaallyyyy hard not to, you know that? " Luca barely held back a stuttering " T-T-Thank-ksss!?!? " as his heart smiled. Alberto had never told him anything like this before, but maybe he just missed out on the signs? After all, Luca didn't hint at anything similar to him either, not even now.
Another yawn escapes Alberto, cutting him off from saying anymore about how he loves them, how he loves being part of the Underdogs. It's not quite the fantasies Luca's had before when he'd visualize Alberto confessing to him, but this might have actually been better. No pit of guilt to sink into from having to place both his friends' hearts on the line, choosing only one to be a partner. It's like his horizons have expanded anew, a figurative third eye opened. He's happy to brave this new experience with them, and he's more than thrilled Alberto shares the same sentiment.
The older boy barely notices the other trying to gently sneak his hand closer to his own, the stars dotting the night sky as numerous as his distracted thoughts. For now, he's just happy to be around one of the loves in his heart, the first one. A shooting star passes overhead. Its stellar shine prompts Luca to make a quiet wish, his heart swelling.
Morning arrives through the curtains so blindingly. Giulia is the first to rise this time, her groggy footsteps dragged across the floor. Immediately straightening her posture as she descended the stairs, eager to help out, and she would start by planning a little something for later. A tour maybe? But what else would be new, its not like they haven't gone the full length of the town already. Surely there had to be something more. She heard them stir, it had been 3 hours already since then. Oh well, guess they'd play it by ear then.
"Oi, ragazzi, get your sleepy heads up! Buongiorno, we got a big day ahead!" Silence. It was only the faint sounds of passerbys outside and the occasional tweet of whatever birds decided to make their homes nearby. She yet called again, taking a deep breath. "OI, GOOD MORNINGGGG RAGAZZI, GET UP!" Only to be responded with sleepy groans. She rolled her eyes with a smile, maybe she'd give them an hour more before shattering their eardrums again.
The little tour around the town was rather pleasant, not that Luca would outright admit it. It all too easily reminded him of Genova just before they boarded the train, it was just as loud. Except this time, Alberto was here.
“I think that's about what I wanted to show you. Anything else you'd like to see?” Alberto asked, eagerly and still energetic.
Well, what did Luca Paguro, 17 years old and with a promising future ahead, want to do?
He racked his brain a moment. What he settled on embarrassed him, but with the two waiting on an answer, he could only think of one thing. “We can just hang again by the beach, I mean its nice right?”
“Really? Nothing more than that? I mean yeah it isss nice, don't get me wrong, but its summer!” Giulia expressing her mild dismay as the sun began to set.
“W-Well...” He sheepishly and indirectly admitted. “I guess so... But-”
“Hey, non preoccuparti! I get it! Sometimes, we need to take a step back and relax!"
She strolled up some stairs, her two boys following suit.
"Probabilmente è un promemoria con scritto di rilassarsi di più. Really, we'll be fine.” Giulia answered, confident as ever.
“I think I know a place. Come on, I'll find something for us to do.”
As she led the way, Alberto couldn't help but feel proud of her, feeling his cheeks flush full of blood. He caught Luca staring, only because he got caught first. His eyes widened, almost as if to beg him not to tell her. Thankfully, he was bracing for a moment that never arrived. The two instead shared a silent giggle, kids and their secrets. Well, not-so-secret secrets. They actually ended up at a higher spot on the edge of town, a bit rocky if anything but still thrilling enough to gaze down from and see part of Portorosso's edge.
What a view from up there; They could see so much of the scenery, every shapely building dotted with plants and strung-up lights, the cobblestone infrastructure down and about the winding streets, a myriad of stalls and shops lined all across. It felt so right with them.
Those casual moments, that particular summer. It drove Alberto to what one may describe as cuteness aggression. Day after day, his thoughts wandered back to how they teased him. How they made him feel alive with anticipation and joy. Although he probably was with them for the most part of a day, and not always did they have big things planned, but those were the greatest moments of his summer. It made him feel selfish for wanting to relive them over and over. Just him and them, all three in the sun, whatever weather may come. He would always want to be with them.
He really dreads when they have to go back to Genova. Always at the end of summer, the sun seeming to fade a little leading up to the week they had to depart.
The frequent trips back and forth throughout the years are fun, but Alberto always misses them dearly. Every year, the same old routine of waiting on them to return from the land beyond. Letters aren't enough for some reason. He always has to wait it out, despite all the activities he has in town to work with. He still feels a certain emptiness in his heart. Yet never once did he doubt they'd come back, that he'd always rely on their return. Like the sun shining after the rain.
It's not a normal ache, that much he can tell. Its a desperate clawing, the way he'd watch the heavens above with them for so many nights. Like they all searched for the answer of what they had, together. It was like every constellation and dot was seared into their souls, naming them without so much a second glance.
The way his heart flickered with every fiber of his being, just, being... with them. It almost offended him that they looked to the heavens, despite it being right here with them. He couldn't blame them. How could they know so many beautiful things without realizing they themselves were masterpieces?
At least in Alberto's eyes they were, and he didn't dare take his eyes off them. A part of him found it strange his affections were for both of them. Never envy, always adoration. It was a tiny part, but still in the summation of his thoughts. Maybe he was scared they'd be together without him, like the rest of the couples he'd see strolling around town.
Maybe he'd want to walk with both of them, hand in hand without being judged. Maybe he'd want to whisper so many sweet everythings into their ears. He never quite understood nor liked the 'nothings' part of 'sweet nothings'. It made the 'sweet' seem disingenuous. And he definitely wanted to be sweet and honest with the two of them. It just, felt right? Regardless, the beautiful sight warmed his scales.
He would blush furiously, yet quietly. He didn't dare let them know about his feelings. Well, yet... Maybe he would if only he knew they were feeling the same. As they lie beneath the night sky, the moon hangs its pale glow over Portorosso. Now that's amore.
A year goes by as a year does. With lots of fish caught, then sold. It was still ripe time as ever to haul in tons of them, the end of fall rolling around just as they finished up their quota. Massimo had to teach him how to be handier about the knives, it felt awesome to be in charge of such skill. A thought Alberto had so often entertained, except he didn't feel outcast about it. If anything, he felt looser about being pressured on what to do while the two were away. Oh Luca, oh Giulia. The thought made him swoon, how was he ever to keep his cool around them? Would they laugh if he messed up a knife trick? No, Silenzio Bruno!
Seasons and people went by, he even attended a retirement party for one of Massimo's old buddies. It lasted maybe a few good hours starting around 5pm or so. Heading home, they reminisced on the month's work. Both gentlemen just a little bit intoxicating, vision blurring now and then but still able to keep their heads up.
Unfortunately, Alberto's prior mood had taken its toll now that alcohol was part of the equation. Legs a bit wobbly and already clinging to the side of a wall for support, it would be soon before he spilled his mind. It didn't help that he was really holding in those feelings way longer than he had wanted to, something he felt that Massimo deserved to know.
"Uhm, Massi- Papa... I have something, its important... so I have something to tell you, if that's okay?" He took note of how his stoic expression hidden under bushy eyebrows and a beard had seemed to soften ever so slightly, maybe the He dared not speak his mind previously on the impending matter. It didn't seem as much of a big deal then, and he certainly would not let Massimo worry over a problem that was not his. Even if Alberto knew he would be listened to, that their sit-down would be productive and never loaded with judgement, he was still afraid. After all, these kinds of thoughts were not normal, as far as he could tell anyway.
The slippery bastard he used to call a father was long-gone by now. And with him, any modicum of hope to learn any seafolk customs. Although if it was any consolation, he couldn't quite remember his father, details blurred by time and choice. The way he'd be berated by him with such intensity. It felt like this was why the notion bloomed in him was to forsake the Scorfano name, to nurture himself a sense of identity the way he had never been given a chance to. He did not even want to remember if his father was named Bruno. Maybe that's why it's the first name that came to mind for silencing thoughts that linger on your anxiety a little too long, maybe it was something else.
He also remembered how Massimo told him what Scorfano meant, it was a type of fish. Something Alberto bore no such resemblances to, except maybe the spines and teeth? Definitely not the build. And it wasn't like scorpionfish to wander about so frequently like he did on forays for human stuff. Sometimes if he was feeling bold, he'd cross to other islands. Of course he always told Massimo beforehand. But a scorpionfish sure wasn't a, what was the term?
Ah right, pelagic. Giulia had said he reminded her more of something like a pelagic fish, despite the sharp spines. Also mentioned Paguro actually meant hermit crab, which made no sense since Luca definitely did not look like one. Luca of course in agreement, had opted to go "No, Alberto. She's right, maybe I am a little crab with weird little eyes!" His hands playfully snapping as he brought his fingers together, just like a crab. They ended up staying later than expected that night, listening to Giulia share more facts about sea life, right until they all passed out.
Ah Giulia.
It was nice to have someone to take initiative in telling him things. If he'd had asked his biological father, no doubt he'd only get a beating in return. The thought brought a shiver down his spine, tingling with regret and doubt. Maybe that's why he left. Daddy got so fed up with his stupid son's stupid questions and stupid life, that he got up and left him. Simple as.
Whatever the case, he did not want it to happen again. The fear gripped him to imagine Massimo storming off, his immeasurable breaking point finally reached. There goes another father! And its all your fault for not being normal! He could hear his own voice, hostility rising an-
"Alberto! Whats the matter, son?" He found that great hand at hold by his right shoulder; trembling in the raindrops, heartbeat dying down. "Hey, 'Beto, how are you? What are you, say, feeling right now?" His thick accent never quite hid the gentle timbre in his inquiries. And maybe Alberto was more thankful for it, words failed him right now. But he had to tell him now. He had to be honest enough to admit what he was feeling was new, that is was scary and he didn't know what to do, but at the very least trying. "I might not understand what you go through right now. But, I would like to help, no? I am your papa. And your papa, he would like to hear you out." His lips trembling after hearing such a gentle reassurance, ready now to burst open.
"I think I'm in love with Luca and Giulia." He watched as Massimo seemed to have an epiphany. But he pressed on, figuring he had nothing left to lose.
"And I mean both of them, us Underdogs together? Yeah, it might seem weird but, to me, it feels right! I guess it wasn't exactly a secret when I fell in love with Luca, I feel you knew, no offense. But my heart feels like it also wants to be with her. I feel like I want them, I want to take that chance and tell them how I feel about them. I want to kiss them, take them on nice dates. Fuck it. Maybe I want to get married to them both! I do love them Papa, I really do..."
The sound of the rain falling was all he heard. Massimo was now silent, putting his hand down on the pavement as he slumped back into a sit. Eyes were agape for once. It was certainly new to him he felt this way towards his friends. The anticipation was killing him, levels of anxiety too high even for him. It almost felt like when he had that fight with Luca.
He scurried over onto where he sat. " Papa, I'm sorry if- " Doubts quickly squashed as he felt those thick fingers pat his now glistening scales, kind of how he would do to Machiavelli. " Alberto, I think it was good you were honest. And I also think this might be hard for you, no wonder why you were so tired this week. I hope how I treated you was ehhh, not harsh. I just gave you space. I did not want to pressure you into a worse feeling, mio figlio. "
His features seemed to lighten into a smile. Alberto really was lucky to have met such wonderful people like him.
"I have you know that you are normal! It is normal to love, and normal too that your heart can carry so much that you love more than one, eh? I know you feel weird, she is my daughter. You are like a son to me, Luca is your friend. And because I treat you like family together it makes it weirder?"
Alberto nodded bashfully, his head a little titled to the side. "I've heard from Signor Paguro that seafolk customs allow this sort of thing. But, I didn't really tell him why I asked him about it."
A heavy-laden sigh as Massimo's brows drew down together, ever so slightly. " To be honest, I might be an expert with a lot of things... " A half-hearted chuckle as his gaze slowly shifted away from Massimo's. " But, I didn't even know how to go about it. Was I weird for it? Falling for both of my best friends, papa? " A sob and a wheeze as he lets the tears flow. "I'm sorry... I really am..." His hands drooped, making him look smaller than he actually was. Maybe he was just feeling pressured to like both of them? The doubtful whisper quickly erased as his heart ached at the suggestion he'd dare be pretending. Well, not that he wasn't accustomed to it.
He just hated having to pretend on his feelings for both of them. Fuck this was confusing! The older man spoke once more. " Don't be sorry, I think I understand now, bene? "
The puzzled look on his face caused Massimo to chortle rather heartily.
"No no, I am fine with this. Just the relief, it fills me!" Standing up as they began to dust off their clothes in the falling rain. "I suppose... Maybe it was to happen eventually, no? That you'd be so close to your best friends. To the point you love them like uhmmm." His hand gesturing like he was stirring something. " You three are like the sky, sea and shore altogether. All a beautiful erhmmm, dipinto! A very good painting!" Their pace slowed from a brisk one "But I warn you son, bad feelings are like a raging tide. Very fierce, Alberto. You mustn't let yourself get pulled under! I just want you to be careful, ya?"
His words seemed lost on him though, maybe he was already drowning in the mess he dug himself into. But there was a flicker of resistance still in his eyes, hoping that he would be able to not feel so scared on what else Massimo had to advise him with.
He then felt an arm reach and pull him closer, a warm... hug? "Alberto, I trust you won't break their hearts, hmmm? You are but young. Plenty of time to grow, but also plenty of opportunities to get hurt. I don't want that for you. It might be new to me but, I trust you. Essere padre, non è facile. I want to entrust them to you, especially my Giulia. You who has met them, captivated with your confidence?"
Funny he said that, it was another, similar-sounding word that Alberto had thought up; confiding. And confiding had never felt so good until now.
Thumbs still twiddling, it was his turn to give the big man a hug.
"I love you, Massi- dad. I know it might seem weird right now, but I've never been more sure of my feelings, and I'll tell them when I'm not so scared anymore." He felt a reassuring laugh rise from him, his body bobbing softly. "Ah, but no pressure. È chiaro? Feelings are hard. You say when you want to say them because they are your feelings."
A smile concealing worry was all he had to give so they'd never have to continue talking about his unorthodox feelings for the two, but Alberto never went for it. Instead, he stood still in the hug. A pure and honest hug. The way he had to hold back from letting the floodgates opened now failing as he finally felt that weight lift off from his heart. He could love freely, he was allowed to feel things by someone he could call a father. No, Massimo was his real father.
With the night now set into an ungodly hour, Alberto realized that they'd still have to prepare for tomorrow's welcome. But his father was already ahead of him, pulling him gently after reminding him of what he just thought about. Strange, that didn't bother him as much as he thought. The two might have been out late, but not too late, careful to take note of tomorrow's importance to one another all the way. There was a bit more idle chatter up to the house, a bit of "I guess no fishing for the morning for you?" there, some "You know, Luca might like Giulia too!" and even a "Remind me not to drink so much next time, eh?" Concluding with a "Grazie papa!" as the knob turned.
Getting back inside, they find Machiaveli asleep already, flopped on the floor of the kitchen in a silent snore. The two said their goodnights to each other as Alberto clambered on upwards, excitement keeping him awake enough despite the sleepiness setting in.
The morning shows its face again after a long night.
This time, Alberto was up early, careful not to trip over his things so messily strewn about the floor. Apparently not early enough as he noticed Massimo was already gone. A cleaned cup sat in the sink neatly, Machiaveli giving a low 'mowwww' as the young seafolk passed him by. He didn't suppose there was anything else to prepare. Ah shit. Remembering just then that he had a surprise in store, so he bolted back upstairs, about to get fumbling around the mess upstairs to search for it. But surprisingly, it was on his bed. Neatly folded, it even had a little note on it. Oh. He guessed it could be worse, his shoulders relaxing as he thought it over. Massimo wasn't the type to be judgmental to him like that. Especially not after last night. The recollection warmed his heart, the old man got a few new tricks even he wasn't aware people could do.
He went to put it on, setting out with a "Ciao Machiavelli! I'll be back, don't you worry!" Closing the door gently.
He began with a slow jog. He would make it regardless, not like they would be waiting on him that much. And if he was too late then he could always play it off as a surprise. That maybe he was hiding somewhere else, 'purposely' staying hidden with what he was wearing. No that wouldn't do. He thought, adjusting his thoughts to ones of how being on time would be better, his pace adjusting as well. Now he was at a faster pace, still maintained and ready to go. Up some winding road and around a corner, then he saw a familiar set of steps to an alleyway that he knew was near. By the time he had jogged the whole winding way to the train station, the Paguro family had been apparently sat down for a while now.
As his legs felt wobbly from all of that, he noticed a boisterous laughter. Ah, Massimo was at it with his stories again. He smiled. Out of breath, but not quite all of it, letting out a gasp of a chuckle seeing everyone sat down. Maybe they were commenting on how much bigger Alberto was than when they first met. Their words not quite registering all the way from his mind, racing with excitement.
He'd come to, waving it off with a laugh and "Well, it has been a while, il tempo vola I guess!" Then finally, the familiar sound of a train rolling in, its gears audibly halting to a slow as the great machine stood there. It was going to be his sixth summer with them, and hopefully the sixth of many more to come. His smile widening like the doors opening.
"Ciao, Alberto! Wait... Are you wearing a skirt?!?!?"
Standing right there were the two people he wanted to see more than ever for the whole summer, laughing it up at him as they rushed with their bags. It somehow felt like a beautiful beginning, and he was all too eager to experience it with them. Even it was already the sixth summer they met, even if those feelings came spewing out, they would hopefully stay together for many more.