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“Last time, on Total Drama: The Bridge Between Generations…

“After we brought back 24 of our most iconic competitors from generations one and four, we pitted them against each other, with three widely different teams. Not all of them were excited, and some got the better deal – you can’t please everyone, and damn it if I don’t try my best not to.”

“There’s no balance.”

“Where’s the fun in balance?!”

“Raj and Nichelle got the win for their team… but it was Heather and Leshawna who were really the masterminds behind the victorious strategy.”

“Do we take the risk?”

“I’m all about the risk, baby.”

“Speaking of Heather, her and Alejandro have spent the entire day swooning over each other in confessionals. I was wondering how they felt each other decades later – guess I got my answer, hehe.”

“I forgot how good it felt to occasionally work with Alejandro rather than against him…”

“Oh, how much I missed her.”

“Meanwhile, Courtney and Bowie warmed up to each other, but their bonding didn’t help their team, as Duncan insisted on not listening to them, and cost them the challenge. As a result, he was done for… But not kicked off the island, for my generous heart kept him in as an intern, after he insisted on staying to set things right with his old pals. What a suck-up!”

“I just… want a chance, man. You get my suffering, I get closure. It’s a win-win.”

“Will Duncan ever manage to apologize to those he’s hurt? Will the Winning Warthogs start a streak of losing, just like good ol’ Victory did back in the day? And will Heather and Alejandro’s old flame ever be rekindled? Find out right here, on Total… Drama… The Bridge Between Generations!”

Hey, what’s up? I’m here to slay
Don’t know why the rest even bother to stay

I know the game and I’ve brought the skill
Crushing players’ dreams, yeah, you know the drill

And I wanna be famous!

I wanna live close to the sun,
Well, pack your bags, ‘cuz I’ve already won

Everything to prove, nothing in my way
I’ll get there one day

‘Cuz I wanna be famous!

Na, na-na-na-na,
Na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na

I wanna be, I wanna be (Na, na-na-na-na,)
I wanna be famous (Na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na)

I wanna be, I wanna be (Na, na-na-na-na…)
I wanna be famous…

TOTAL DRAMA: THE BRIDGE BETWEEN GENERATIONS

EPISODE 3: DODGE, DUCK, DIP, DIVE & DODGE

There’s an old saying by Plato that goes: “The morning after the first challenge of a Total Drama season is the hardest morning of all”. The ancient Greek philosopher and Total Drama contestants alike learned it the hard way; by waking up in the shittiest bed, in the shittiest cabin, on the shittiest island known to man… which was either Megara or Wawanakwa; it really depends on who you ask.

Our answer today comes from the cracking back of Noah, who, although only 38, is fighting for his dear life as he gets out of bed, joints cracking painfully.

“What the ever-loving fuck are these beds made out of?” he groans. He attempts to straighten his back by stretching, but another terrible noise that it certainly should not make comes out. With a sigh of defeat, he lays back down.

“I’ll just accept my fate and succumb to the sweet darkness of death.”

“Sorry to ruin your hopes and dreams of five more minutes in bed, but…”

Owen’s voice can be heard from just a little further from the bed. It’s stuffed, possibly because he’s dressing.

“Chris wants us to the lodge in ten.”

“Of course he does…”

Noah groans in annoyance and begrudgingly gets up. He looks around the cabin and frowns when he realizes someone is missing, along with their belongings.

“So, Duncan really did get eliminated…”

“I guess so,” Owen sighs. “It’s a pity, isn’t it? There’s only four of us now.”

“Less adults and less men…” Noah contemplates. “Our chances are not looking too good, I’ll tell you that much.”

“I say be grateful. It could always be worse.”

Into the cabin comes Alejandro, who had apparently heard their conversation. Noah frowns, partly because of him intruding, partly because he has no idea where he even came from. He’s stated more than a few times how inconvenient it is to have to walk around the whole camp just to get the simplest task done, yet, that morning, he could be heard creeping out of the cabin. Judging by the fresh smell on him, he’s probably taken a shower; but why in such secrecy, nobody could say. 

“Both of our teams still have all our members. The Winning Warthogs are down a player.” Alejandro looks around, and, seeing how DJ is already out and about, not here to hear anything, he adds, “Make sure to take advantage of that.”

“Why are you pointing this out?” Noah snorts. “Do you want to lose?”

Alejandro shrugs. “Just a tip. Besides, I’m not worried about losing.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Now Noah is grinning, and, without waiting for an answer, strikes. “Because your girlfriend is going to protect you with her alliance?”

Alejandro and splutters like a car in the middle of freezing winter.

“Wh-wha—w-what? What alliance? You think I—? I-I don’t have an alliance with Heather.”

“Aw, you still respond to ‘girlfriend’ with ‘Heather’, that’s adorable!”

“No, I don’t!”

“You just did.”

“How do you know about the alliance?”

Noah raises an eyebrow.

“Next time you make secret evil plans, don’t make them out in the open.”

Alejandro sighs.

“Why must you be so observant?”

Noah grins. “It’s a gift.”

Alejandro mumbles, “It’s a curse for me… And the reason I’m not worried about losing is because I know my team is perfectly capable of winning.”

“Sure, I can’t argue with that,” Noah shrugs. “Finalists and almost-finalists that fumbled their chance at big bucks, people who’d choose fame over trust… You really got the crème de la crème.”

Alejandro grins. “And you being stuck with Ripper and Zee is better?”

Noah chuckles. “Touché.”

“I don’t dislike Alejandro,” Noah says. “I’m not even trying to bring the guy down. We’ve just always had this sort of teasing in our…” He frowns. “I wouldn’t say friendship. Acquaintanceship, rather. Either way, I’m not worried about losing, but I think he should be. With those three teens on his team, he is in for a wild ride – just he waits.”

“I really am not worried,” Alejandro shrugs. “And if we do lose, we can just vote one of the teens. It’s five of us and three of them – the math says more than I ever could.”

“Come cry to me, baby… Come cry to me…”

All alone in the communal bathrooms, someone is singing as she does her make-up for the day. The song is not original, but it is by someone she knows, someone who became insanely famous after they parted ways.

“Come cry to me that you’re born as someone you don’t wanna be…”

The song soon descends into weird noises, probably meant to resemble a guitar solo. With her make-up done, she fully gets into it, using her arms to mimic strumming, and breaks out into song again.

“It’s getting tough out there; is that true, is it? It’s getting tough out there, they’re taking it out on you… It’s getting tough out there; how are you, okay? It’s getting tough out there, those idiots are preying on you—”

“So fall in my arms and tell me you hate them, you hate how they yell and they push you away—”

The song is interrupted by another person, the same person who made that song…

“Fall in my arms, and tell me you hate them, baby, it’s nothing new, at the end of the day…”

With a grin so big it’s a surprise it doesn’t break her jaw, Vickie stands before Leshawna.

“You’ve heard my music?”

Embarrassed, Leshawna averts her gaze.

“How long exactly have you been you standing there?”

Vickie chuckles.

“A few minutes.”

Leshawna groans and hides her face in her hands.

“You saw the whole thing, didn’t you?”

“Do you want me to lie?”

“Please.”

“I saw nothing.”

Leshawna chuckles, as Vickie gently grabs her hands and takes them off her face. She smiles at her.

“Come on, you just did your make-up. Don’t smudge it now.”

The two both look away with soft smiles, before Vickie switches the subject.

“You did a really good job in yesterday’s challenge. We owe our win to you.”

Leshawna brushes it off with a shrug. “Heather and I worked together. It was really the both of us that got the job done.”

“She still couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Well…” Leshawna chuckles. “I mean, I guess…”

“Vickie is…” Leshawna looks away. “Probably the only person from the show I truly wanted to meet again. I mean, there’s a few I rarely or never got in trouble with, like Gwen, Owen, those kinds of people… But there were too many that I was afraid would hate me.” She smiles. “Not Vickie, though. I wasn’t sure if she’d be cast again, and it wasn’t like I had much of a choice in coming back, but if I knew she’d come, I probably wouldn’t have put up as much of a fight as I did.” She chuckles, embarrassed. “Those poor, poor interns…”

Vickie is freaking out. “I put my hands on Leshawna’s hands.” Her face is almost as red as her hair, her freckles invisible because of her intense blushing. “I think I’m going to faint.”

On the beach are four teens, mentally preparing for whatever torture Chris is going to put them through next. They sit on the sand as they suggest strategies and offer their knowledge of the show.

“I don’t think Chris would give us challenges in the same order as in the original seasons,” Damien says, gesturing. “So he’d probably do them out of order. However, I think we might get one of the earlier challenges from whatever season he plans on covering next.”

“The problem is,” Axel frowns, “which one of the seasons?”

“I’m fine with whatever, ‘s long as he doesn’t make us drink milk, or like, eat beans for breakfast again,” Zee shudders. “That challenge sucked, man.”

“I still get flashbacks from that embarrassment…” Damien shudders. “I can’t believe they actually put that on TV.”

“Me, personally—”

“We know, Ripper. You liked that challenge.”

“Hey! Maybe I was gonna say I hated it!”

“Were you?”

“No, but you can’t just assume!”

“You can’t blame me for enjoying the Jurassic Fart challenge,” Ripper shrugs. “I’ve grown up being told my farts are my special talent.” He frowns. “Although, I’m starting to think my mom might’ve been wrong on that, what with everyone’s adverse reactions… Is it really that bad for a guy to just let out some air? My parents always waved their hands and said it was funny before going back to whatever they were doing!”

“We don’t trust MK,” Damien comes into the confessional to do some explaining rather than gross out everyone watching. “And by ‘we’, I mean the other four of us last gen on the Rhetorical Raccoons. So, we decided to form an alliance. First, we get out the adults, then, when it comes down to the five of us, she’ll be an easy 4-to-1 boot.” He cringes. “Not sure what we’ll do after, but I pray we don’t get to that point.”

“I never thought I’d make an alliance with Ripper, Damien and Zee, but here we are,” Axel hums. “As long as those two get us far in the game, I think Ripper and I have a better shot than last time. I still don’t understand how we got voted off last season… Why did nobody vote for Priya when they had the chance?! She had literally already won!”

We cut to another confessional, in which smoke covers the camera; a hand waves to get it away. Into the focus comes Zee, tossing a joint into the toilet. They don’t say anything, rather just awkwardly look at the camera when they realize it’s on and grin, obviously spaced out.

Lindsay sits on the floor of the women’s cabin, painting Gwen’s nails yellow and red. The latter is kneeling before her as they catch up.

“How old is May? I don’t think you mentioned,” Lindsay says. Then she chuckles, “Although, with my memory, I don’t think I’d remember anyways.”

Gwen snickers. “I never said. She’s turning 13 in September.”

“Oh, cool! Emmett will be 14 that same month.”

“You have three kids, right?”

“Mhm. Chloe, Emmett and Brianna.” As she paints Gwen’s right hand, Lindsay mentions, “You know, that girl Julia reminds me a bit of Chloe.”

“In what way?”

“Well, I haven’t watched the seasons, but, from what I know, Julia is an influencer. Chloe has been dreaming about becoming one since she was 12.”

“Uh, this is going to be awkward, but Julia turned evil towards the middle of the first season and hasn’t gone back since.”

“What? Seriously?”

“The show loves its twist villains…”

“I forgot how much I need to watch out for innocent-looking people in this game,” Lindsay comments. “Heather appeared nice at first, too.”

Gwen snorts. “In what world?”

Lindsay playfully rolls her eyes. “In mine. That’s how you know it’s wrong.”

Gwen puts her free hand on Lindsay’s shoulder.

“Just… don’t let Chloe become that, and you’re golden.”

Lindsay smiles.

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

The lodge, as per Chris’ request, is jam-packed with the twenty-three remaining contestants. There are three tables, and the teams sit together. Some of the contestants, like Julia and MK, sit further away from their teammates, either because they want to, or because the others wouldn’t want them closer. Noah, however, sits relatively close to MK, with Owen on his other side. Bowie seems in no mood for a challenge, not after yesterday’s loss, eating slowly in between sighs of annoyance; Raj, from the Confused Condors’ table, watches him and Wayne with a saddened look on his face.

Heather scans the rival tables, particularly the one of the Winning Warthogs. Alejandro, who is sitting next to her, catches her glance.

“Something on your mind, Heather?”

“Duncan isn’t here. Was he voted off?”

Alejandro simply nods.

“It was only a matter of time. Duncan’s hot-headed nature was bound to get him eliminated sooner or later.” He sighs. “I’d have preferred later, but the Warthogs really had no other option after yesterday.”

“After how Duncan blew up on Bowie the other day, it was only a matter of time before he got the boot.” Heather sighs. “Poor kid. He didn’t deserve that.” She frowns. “Or maybe he did. I haven’t watched the new seasons…” She groans. “That’s going to come bite me back sometime, isn’t it?”

“What have I always said? I am coming for that crown!” Bowie grins in the confessional. “And before you ask… Yeah, those tears were totally fake. As if I’d ever cry in front of anyone. I’m an ugly crier, I couldn’t do that.” He winks. “Duncan just made it so easy. Now there’s three adults and four teens on this team, and I’m liking our odds.”

“Is this food…” Noah frowns, poking at a slice of pizza he was served, clearly marvelling at it. “Actually edible?”

“Totally, dude!” Zee confirms, mouthful. “Yo, Chef, can I get a refill?”

Without a word, Chef aims at Zee’s plate and throws another slice on it, barely moving from behind his station. Noah’s jaw drops.

“You actually know how to cook now?”

“I’ve always known, son.”

“So all that disgusting food you’ve given us…” Gwen scoffs.

“That was just to make you more miserable.”

“Why not make them more miserable, too?” Courtney raises an eyebrow. “Are you afraid the Gen Z would – what do the youths say – ‘cancel’ you?”

“I totally could,” Julia winks.

“Nobody’s talking to you, Moon Goddess,” Courtney snarls. Then her eyes widen and she shakes her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I-I swear, I…”

“No, it’s fine, I understand.” Julia smiles sweetly; a sweetness that turns sour as she continues, “You miss your boyfriend. I totally get being snappy.”

Courtney gasps, as do her teammates. Courtney’s grip on her fork tightens, and Julia grins provocatively.

“That was a low blow, girl,” Leshawna shakes her head. “Low blow.” She hums. “I’ve watched the new seasons, as I’m assuming Courtney has, too… I didn’t expect Julia to get all villainess-mode this early. I thought she’d try to trick us… Good thing I thought wrong. In the possibility that we do lose a challenge, it’ll be easy to convince the others to get rid of her.”

“I don’t buy Courtney’s ‘I want to help the youngsters’ act,” Julia explains. “She worries me. If she makes the merge, we’re totally going to butt heads. I gotta get that superiority complex out of her as quickly as I can, and show everyone how much of a B-I-T-C and so forth she really is. Then, they’ll vote her off. So, first order of business: talk about her ex to get her totally riled up.” She grins. “Works even twenty years later. Who’d have thought!”

“Campers! Inter-team bonding already, how beautiful!” Chris remarks as he steps in. “Julia, Courtney, you keep getting along so well, I might just have to make a team swap.”

“The things I want to say to you are too foul to be allowed on international television,” Julia informs.

“Same goes here!” Chris assures. Then he switches the subject to, “I see you’re enjoying your breakfast.”

“Oh, yes!!” Owen exclaims. “This is golden! My compliments to the chef!”

Behind his station, Chef can’t help a little grin. Chris rolls his eyes.

“I told him to bring out the torture food, but he refused. Well, I guess it’s still fun to see your spirits rise high before a challenge that will kill them… Hope is humanity’s greatest error, after all.”

“That is too hard of a quote to drop in this context,” MK comments.

“Hard quote?” Courtney mouths, confused.

“What did they have you eat back then?” Damien confusedly addresses the adults. “I thought the contestants always got good food.”

“Oh, you sweet summer child,” Heather sighs.

“Baby, we would rather have been eating rocks,” Leshawna laughs, although there’s a bitterness to it.

“I swear my slop moved some of the time,” Gwen shivers.

“One time, I bit into an apple, and ten worms came out!” Owen snorts.

“And food back in World Tour was a luxury,” Alejandro recalls. “First class got the best of the best, but the rest of us got some scraps if we were lucky.”

“Or fish tails,” Vickie recalls with a grin.

“Fish tails?” Damien frowns. “How did you guys not die?”

“I’d rather have died,” Heather solemnly says, no trace of a joke in her tone. Funnily enough, most of the adults nod in agreement.

“Okay, well, this is sad,” Chris says with a smile that expresses anything but. “I love it, but the ratings won’t. If you’re done eating, why don’t you follow me? Today’s challenge is about to start.”

“A challenge again?” Alejandro frowns. “Usually, you give us time to recover…”

“You’ll get a few days off after today, promise,” Chris grins. The nature of his smile is deceiving, and so the contestants look to Chef, who is usually the more honest of the two. Seeing how he nods, they sigh in relief.

“Never did I think I’d look to Chef for comfort,” Bridgette chuckles.

“The man’s always been softer than Chris,” DJ argues, sitting next to her. “I remember when he made the alliance with me in Action… He did want the money, but I could tell he also genuinely cared about me. That’s a good man right there, Bridge. I really wonder how he and Chris even happened…”

“Those two are a mystery better left unsolved,” Bridgette snorts. DJ nods in solemn agreement.

The campers walk into a familiar setting, one that they’ve seen years and years ago, either on television or in-person. The gymnasium in which one of the first ever challenges happened… And on one of the benches sits—

“Duncan?”

Courtney’s surprise immediately manifests through the gasp of the man’s name, and Duncan looks up at her with a grin.

“Missed me?”

By Courtney’s side, Bowie rolls his eyes.

“Why is he here?” the aforementioned groans. “Courtney’s still got her issues regarding him, and as long as he’s here, he’ll distract her. So why is he not at Playa des Losers, where he belongs?” He yells. “God, I hate Chris. I hate him so much!”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention,” Chris chimes in with a cheeky grin. “Duncan here is now part of the crew. For today’s challenge, he’ll actually be the coach.”

“Coach?” Bridgette raises an eyebrow. “Are we doing dodgeball again?”

“Correctamundo!” Chris confirms. “We’ve reinvented one of our first ever challenges to fit to your three teams.”

“Another physical challenge!” Alejandro exclaims, obviously annoyed. “Why am I not surprised? Well, it’s a good thing I can still throw from my wheelchair.” He grins. “It’s not like my skills completely left me.” He grumbles, “Just wish Chris cared more that they somewhat did.”

“Here’s how it’s gonna go. We’re gonna have three games, and each of them will consist of three rounds. A game ends when someone is designated winner after two consecutive wins or the break of a tie. Coach Duncan will choose who’s against who in the first two games.”

“How is the finale going to work?” Priya frowns, confused.

“If the team that will inevitably be repeated wins twice, they automatically get first place, and the finalists will battle for middle class. If we have two separate wins, coach Duncan here will choose again who goes against who; only this time, the one team that sits it out will be second place, and the other two will battle for first place instead. Clear?”

“Crystal,” Courtney nods.

“Duncan, take it from here, please,” Chris requests.

“Okay, listen up!”

Duncan immediately gets into role, and jumps off the bench.

“Five of you have to go each round, the others get to sit it out, so do a rotation. Now, for the first game, I’ll pick the teams…”

The contestants exchange nervous glances as Duncan scans the room.

“Winning Warthogs and Rhetorical Raccoons. You’re up first; go decide who does what.”

As the Winning Warthogs bitterly grumble, MK raises her hand.

“I’ll go on the field!”

“Okay, lots of enthusiasm there,” Noah notes with a raised eyebrow. “I’ll go too. After last time, I wouldn’t want to repeat the mistake of not participating…”

“Me too, me too!” Ripper grins. “I’m a dodgeball pro!”

“As am I!” Axel shrieks. Then she reconsiders. “Well, I’ve actually never played dodgeball, but I’m good at being violent, so I guess that counts for something.”

“I’ll tag along to keep you two in check,” Damien nervously chuckles.

“Then Owen, Zee and I will sit out the first round,” Gwen nods. “I’ll join you the next one.”

“I hate dodgeball more than I hate Chris, and that’s saying something,” MK says. “But it would be unwise to sit out a challenge so enthusiastically… Remember how Damien’s team reacted when he cheered that he’d get to not participate? Anyways, if we lose, we can just get Gwen off, since she doesn’t belong to any alliance.” She raises an eyebrow. “What? You don’t think I’m blind, do you? Of course those other four are gunning for me. I don’t even need Zee to spell it out for me, it’s obvious. Sadly for them, I’m working on an alliance of my own, with Noah and Owen. All I need to do is get on their good side, and then it’s bye-bye pains in my ass!”

“Sports. Not my forte,” Noah says, with the ghost of a grin on his face. “I’m determined to make the merge this season. With no bad scripting to stop me, I’m going to win that million for Owen and I. And it starts with building myself a good reputation…”

“Who wants to go?” Courtney eyes her team.

Priya, Bowie and Wayne all immediately raise their hands. Reluctantly, so does DJ.

“I’ll join you four, then. Emma, Bridgette, you’re sitting out the first round.”

“Fine by me…” Emma shrugs.

“You remember the rules, or should I spell them out for you?” Duncan asks.

“We remember—” Wayne starts.

“Great, here’s how it goes,” the coach interrupts. “If you get hit with the ball—”

A ball magically appears in his hands, and he throws it to Bowie’s face. The teen reacts quickly and deflects it, but that leads to Wayne getting hit instead.

“Oh, crap! Sorry, Wayne,” Bowie chuckles.

Wayne shakes his head, much like a puppy would.

“No biggie.”

“—you’re out. But if you catch the ball, like Bowie almost did, the thrower gets sent to the bench, and the catcher gets to up their numbers by bringing in another member of the team on the court. Of course, the Winning Warthogs can only up so many numbers with only seven people on their team…”

“Bitter?” Bowie raises an eyebrow. “Maybe next time, you won’t argue with a literal child.”

“My definition of a child is one you’d steal candy from,” Duncan retorts. “You are an angsty wannabe and delusional teenager.”

“Okay, not that I don’t agree,” Chris interjects, “but we’re on a schedule, so can you insult less and demonstrate more?”

“If you’re holding a ball, you can use it to deflect a ball, but—”

“But if it knocks the ball out of your hands, you’re out, blah, blah, blah, come on, man,” MK interrupts, “we’ve all watched the show, let’s get on with it!”

Duncan sighs. “Fine. Let’s roll!”

On opposing sides seat the teams: MK, Noah, Ripper, Axel and Damien on the Rhetorical Raccoons, and Courtney, Bowie, Wayne, Priya and DJ on the Winning Warthogs. Each member holds a ball as they wait for the signal of the designated coach…

“Ready, set…”

Duncan’s whistle is blown, and that’s all anyone needs.

First goes Courtney, nobly aiming for the only adult present in the round. Noah dodges the ball in the last second, which infuriates Courtney. Without asking, she takes Priya’s ball and throws it again, but this time, aiming for Ripper. The boy is less agile than Noah, and gets hit, going down with a groan of pain.

“Ripper!” Axel exclaims.

Duncan blows his whistle. “Ripper’s out for the round!”

“Damn it!” Gwen curses from the bench.

“Hell yes, Courtney! You go, girl!” Bowie cheers.

Axel angrily grits her teeth. With a war shout, she throws her ball towards Courtney. The actress, who was busy smiling at Bowie, goes down without a fight. Before Bowie can even process, he’s down too, for Axel has grabbed another ball and has thrown it without mercy.

“Holy heck, look at her go!” Chris whispers to Chef on the sidelines.

Inspired by his teammate, Damien aims for Priya. She goes to deflect his ball, but Wayne, seeking to protect his remaining teammates, jumps in the way, and consequently gets hit. DJ throws at MK and takes her down; but Axel responds by taking him down…

Damien, Axel and Noah look at Priya, the only one remaining on her team. The round has a clear outcome, as they all throw their balls to her…

…but she tosses her ball aside and catches all three!

“Holy shit!” Duncan exclaims. He clears his throat. “Damien, Axel, Noah, you’re all out! The Winning Warthogs win the first round!”

“Nice job, Priya!” Courtney congratulates. “I knew you could do it!”

Priya’s eyes glisten proudly as her team cheers her on. The three remaining on the Rhetorical Raccoons exchange disappointed glances.

“Courtney said I did a good job. Courtney!” Priya giggles excitedly. “I knew the day would come when I could show the original contestants just how good I am. Especially my all-time favorite! Eeeeek!”

“If Wayne hadn’t gotten in the way, I would’ve totally taken Priya down!” Damien complains. “But of course the guy just has to play hero…” He sighs. “Nope, no, no. These are Julia thoughts, Damien! Think Damien thoughts, think Damien thoughts…!”

“Damien, MK, switch places with Owen and I,” Gwen says. “Maybe we can do a better job with more adults playing.”

“It was a kid that took down three of us, though,” Damien argues. “I’m staying right here! I know I can do this!”

“Plus, it’s an easy challenge,” he explains, back again in the confessional. “If I can show my strength in dodgeball now, which is the easiest game of the bunch by far, I’m assuming, I’ll be less likely to be voted out when I inevitably mess up at something harder.” He grins. “And that’s math, baby. Math has never failed me!”

“Me, personally, I’m fine with going on the bench,” MK says.

“I’ll… go with you…” Ripper offers, panting and holding his head. “So Owen can… play too… ow…”

“Are you okay, babe?” Axel worriedly looks him, putting her hand to where he’s holding his own.

“Hurts… everywhere…” Ripper groans, and falls down as he does. Axel yelps and kneels besides him.

“So much for protecting the youth, Courtney!” Julia calls out from the stands, laughing. “You just gave that boy a trip to the hospital!”

“I’m literally just playing the game!” Courtney groans.

“Courtney can be harsh, but come on!” Bowie defends his idol. “It’s Ripper! The guy’s concussed from birth! It’s really not that big of a loss.”

“I’m used to headaches,” Ripper slurs in the confessional, the footage from when he was still concussed. “I got dropped on my head a lot as a child, remember? My mom says… that’s how I turned out this way!”

Duncan blows his whistle.

“Moving on to round two… Pick your fighters, come on!”

Onto the court step Owen, Gwen, Noah, Axel and Damien. From the Winning Warthogs, Priya, Bowie, Emma, Courtney and Bridgette come in.

“Ready, set—”

At the blow of the whistle, Damien chucks his ball immediately, not caring for the target, and hits Priya right in the face, without a second for her to dodge it. She goes down with a painful crack, probably her nose.

“Dude, that was brutal!” Wayne calls from the stands. “Coach, are you gonna allow this?”

“I don’t care!” Duncan laughs. “That was funny, so why not?”

“Funny? This is funny to you?” Courtney groans. “Ridiculous! You’re acting like a child!”

“I’d pay attention to the game if I were you, princess,” Duncan warns.

“Ugh, I told you to not call me—”

A collective gasp as Courtney goes down, by the balls of both Damien and Axel. The two high five as she writhes in pain on the ground.

“Tried to warn ya,” Duncan shrugs.

Bridgette aims and takes down Gwen, but when Emma throws her ball, Damien dodges it. Owen signals at the others to give him the balls. His teammates put his trust in him and do just so.

Owen stares down Bowie, Emma and Bridgette.

“Try not to make this win so easy,” Bowie calls out with a shit-eating grin, “otherwise, it won’t be as fun.”

Owen smiles, a note of evil unseen before on his face.

“Don’t worry about it… Because you’re not winning this thing!”

And so, he chucks the three balls. One, Bowie dodges; another hits Emma and bounces off to Bridgette, and the two blondes go down; and the third successfully takes Bowie down, too.

The Rhetorical Raccoons erupt into victorious cheers as Duncan blows his whistle.

“The Rhetorical Raccoons win the second round!”

“Way to go, Owen!” Noah hugs his husband with a grin. “That’s what I’m talking about!”

“It’s now tied, and it all comes down to this third round… Time to pick!”

Owen steps onto the court again, along with Noah, Damien, Axel and MK. Meanwhile, the Winning Warthogs send forth Priya, Bowie, Wayne, Courtney and Bridgette. The whistle—

“OW!”

—is blown, and Owen, Damien and Axel immediately throw their murder balls at the opposing team, sending Bridgette and Wayne flying down. Courtney goes for an easy win and tries to take out MK, but the girl manages to deflect with her own ball, and thus Bowie and Priya remain.

“Come on, come on…” Raj anxiously bites his own fingernails, obviously rooting for the Winning Warthogs.

“Try to make your loss entertaining, at least!” Julia shouts to Bowie.

Bowie grits his teeth, but doesn’t allow himself to be distracted by Julia. He exchanges a nod with Priya, and both of them throw their balls at Owen and Noah respectively.

“And it looks like—”

In a twist of events, MK steps in front of the two and deflects both of her balls with her own. Bowie and Priya, in shock at her tactics, don’t have time to dodge the balls thrown back at them. The two teenagers unceremoniously go down, and Duncan blows his whistle.

“The Rhetorical Raccoons win the first match!”

The team cheers and shouts, while the Winning Warthogs sigh in defeat. Duncan grins as he plays with his whistle.

“Damn, if only there was someone that could’ve helped them with that challenge…”

“That was great, MK!” Noah pats the kid on her back. “Quick reflexes.”

“Quick thinking, actually,” MK snorts. “My reflexes suck.”

“You say that, but you won us a match!” Owen’s eyes shine in admiration. “I’m with Noah, you’re good!”

MK can’t stop a giddy grin from forming on her face.

“Really?”

“Really,” Noah nods. His tone lowers as he says, “If you ever need two extra votes, you know where we are. We gotta start making plans early, right?”

MK smiles. “Right. I’ll get back to you two soon.”

“Who’s the best? I’m the best!” MK cheers in the confessional. “I’m making merge, baby!”

“Don’t celebrate just yet, Raccoons,” Duncan says, “‘cuz you’re going again.”

“Seriously?!” Damien groans.

“Confused Condors, your turn,” the coach urges. “Up, up, up!”

“Bummer…” Lindsay sighs. “I’ve always sucked at this game…”

“Yeah, you have,” Julia raises an eyebrow. When Nichelle and Raj stare her down, she shrugs. “What? She said it, not me.”

“I’ll go in the first round,” Vickie offers.

“I think—”

“I will—”

Alejandro and Heather stare at each other as they realize they’re both trying to talk. They nervously laugh as they look away.

“Sorry, you first—”

“No, I insist—”

“Well, I’m—”

“Okay, lovebirds, you’re both going,” Julia rolls her eyes.

“Lovebirds?”

“That’s stupid—”

“Come on, we’re not—”

Julia turns to Raj. “Hey, himbo, you gonna make yourself useful or what?”

“Me?” the guy frowns.

“No, duh!” the influencer groans. “You’re an athlete!”

“Oh, right!” Raj lights up. “I’m going too!”

“Me too!” Nichelle offers. “I’ve done all my physical training!”

“Okay,” Chris claps, “let’s start this round… Right after the commercial break!”

He turns to the camera with his signature smile as the contestants groan in annoyance.

“The Rhetorical Raccoons have a lead, and the Winning Warthogs are down in the dumps; but the Raccoons still have a chance to lose to the Confused Condors. In the end, it will all come down to the finale, and you won’t want to miss a second of it after we come back, right here on Total… Drama… The Bridge Between Generations!”

“Welcome back! We’re about to see the Rhetorical Raccoons face off against the Confused Condors. Interested? Then keep watching!”

Alejandro digs into his pocket and pulls out a spectacle case, and out of it, burgundy-rimmed glasses that match his turtleneck. Heather frowns.

“Since when do you wear glasses?”

Alejandro absently waves. “My vision was damaged after the lava incident. I used to wear lenses, but as I got older, I figured glasses were more practical.”

“Aw, man,” Ripper curses on the bench, still half out of it. “Now the eye candy looks like a nerd.”

“I’m sorry,” Alejandro frowns, “what did you just call me?”

“My parents always thought I was gay when I was a kid. They say that I’d get really close to the TV while watching Total Drama whenever Alejandro came on the screen,” Ripper chuckles in the confessional. “Bowie described it as my ‘awakening’, whatever that is. He also said I’m bilingual, which is total bull. I can speak three languages, not two! I’m way smarter than that. Lo sto facendo in questo momento! Măcar au fost buni de ceva părinții mei.” Ripper’s eyes go wide as he nervously chuckles. “Don’t… tell them I said that, though.”

Alejandro, Heather, Vickie, Nichelle and Raj step into the game, as do Owen, Damien, Axel, Gwen and Noah. The Rhetorical Raccoons are very confident, and the Confused Condors, not so much.

“Focus, focus, focus…” Alejandro whispers to himself, holding his ball tight.

“Mad skills, mad skills…” Vickie channels her teenage self, and the amazing win she got her first time on the show during dodgeball.

“This will be a piece of cake,” Axel grins to Damien, who returns the gesture, overconfident.

“Duncan, sound the whistle!” Chris requests.

“That’s not the right expression, but who am I to judge?” Duncan grins, and eventually obeys the host, blowing his whistle and declaring the start of a match.

With a smirk, Noah aims and chucks his ball towards Alejandro.

“This is for voting me off after London!”

To his surprise, Alejandro spins around in his chair and manages to dodge the ball. He eyes Noah with the grin of a predator.

“Oh, shit,” curses the prey.

“This—” Alejandro raises his own ball— “is for attacking me despite my apology!”

Alejandro fires his murder ball, and it moves with dangerous speed towards Noah. It would’ve hit him in the face and bruised him hard enough to see the marks for days…

…if not for Owen deflecting it!

“Ha! Hell yes, Owen!” Noah cheers. “That’s my husband right there!”

Heather growls as Duncan blows his whistle.

“Alejandro, you’re out, man. Better luck next time.”

As Alejandro rolls off from the playing field, Heather gestures at Vickie to get her attention. The popstar raises a questioning eyebrow, but gets what her teammate wordlessly asks of her. With grunts of determination, the two throw their balls and hit Noah and Owen clean in their faces.

“And that’s for getting Alejandro out!” Heather retorts with a grin.

Alejandro claps from the stands, as do Lindsay and Leshawna. Julia rolls her eyes.

“Alejandro and Heather being hopelessly in love is the last thing I need,” Julia says. “Hello, ‘love’ is just another word for ‘alliance’ in this game. And I cannot let those two get into an alliance! They are unstoppable together! I need to tear them apart, and fast.”

“What a woman!” Alejandro giggles.

Gwen, Damien and Axel exchange glances. The four left on the Confused Condors eye them with murderous intent.

Nichelle chucks her ball at Axel, who dodges and fires back, but Raj deflects it and gets her out. The same procedure is repeated with Gwen, whose ball is deflected by Vickie—and even though Damien has proven himself good at this game, Raj and Vickie team up and do a double shot.

Duncan blows his whistle.

“The Confused Condors win the first round!”

The second round is no better for the Rhetorical Raccoons. Alejandro comes back, and Lindsay and Leshawna replace Vickie and Nichelle. This time around, Alejandro manages to shoot down Owen and Noah with a single shot. Even though Ripper, feeling better after the first round, successfully takes out Leshawna, Lindsay gets him out. Soon, it’s a one-against-one game, with Damien and Alejandro as the only ones left standing.

Damien throws his ball up and down, trying to figure out the best angle to fire at. He squints as he looks at Alejandro—but these few seconds of confusion are exactly what the man needs. The unassuming Damien goes down by his ball, taking it right to the stomach.

“Well, would ya look at that!” Duncan exclaims. “The Confused Condors win! No need for a tie-breaker. Raccoons, what happened, dudes?”

“Alejandro, apparently,” Damien groans from where he’s lying.

“Yeah, figured as much,” Duncan snorts. “Well, since the Rhetorical Raccoons have one loss and one win, the Confused Condors, one win, and the Winning Warthogs, one loss, the Winning Warthogs have to be in the finale.”

“Damn it!” Bowie groans.

“Now for a coin toss on who goes against them…”

“A coin toss?” Alejandro frowns. “Seriously, Duncan? You’re deciding our fate by a coin toss?”

“Okay, fine, Mr. Smarty-Pants!” Duncan retorts. “How about the Confused Condors go against them?”

“Oh, come on!” Heather groans. “That’s low! Stop acting like a child, just pick the Rhetorical Raccoons!”

“Well, since they’ve already had two games…” Duncan shrugs. “I’d hate for them to pull more muscles than they already have, so… Rhetorical Raccoons, consider yourselves in second place.”

“Alright!” Owen claps. “We’re safe, guys!”

“I would rather have gotten the reward, but…” Axel huffs. “At least we’re not sending someone home.”

Damien and Ripper exchange unhappy glances. MK and Noah share their sentiment and do the exact same thing.

“I had this challenge in the bag. We could’ve won reward!” Damien groans. “That annoying, son of a—” he takes a deep breath. “Damien thoughts, Damien thoughts, Damien thoughts…”

“Oh, thank God.” MK shares a different opinion from Damien, sighing in relief. “I could not have shown off to my new alliance for another game.”

“Dear gods above, thank you!” Noah bows to unseen deities. Owen, who is sitting besides him, giggles. Then Noah eyes the camera. “Sports really, really aren’t my forte. Especially not at this age.”

Owen frowns. “You’re just 38.”

“According to today’s youth, I might as well be on my deathbed.”

“You are so annoying,” Courtney tells Duncan through a groan.

“Thanks! I try.”

“Okay, so, that means the Winning Warthogs are up against the Confused Condors,” Chris confirms. “That’s brutal, bro. You’re really gonna make Raj compete against his best friend and his boyfriend?”

Duncan carelessly grins with a shrug. “That’s the game. If it’s brutal, so be it.”

“That’s what I like to hear! Oh, you’re my favorite intern e-verrr! Okay, everyone, warm up! It’s game time!”

“Here’s our game plan,” Courtney jumps in. “Bowie, Priya and I will be on the first line. DJ, Bridgette, you stay behind us. The three of us fire randomly at three other players, and when we duck, you dodge and try to hit the remaining two. The second round, we bring in Emma and Wayne instead of DJ and Bridgette. Then we switch Emma with Bridgette, and myself with DJ, if the third round needs to happen. All clear?”

Wayne looks confused at all the quick exposition, but Bowie excitedly grins.

“Sounds like the winning plan!”

“I love it when she gets feisty,” he chuckles in the confessional.

Meanwhile, on the Confused Condors, Julia has taken the leadership role, much to her team’s surprise.

“For the first round, we’re gonna bring in all the adults. Then Raj and Nichelle will switch with Alejandro and Vickie, and for the finale, I’ll come in, we get Alejandro back, alongside Heather, Lindsay and Raj. How’s that sound?”

“I don’t like dodgeball that much, why are you making me play all rounds?” Lindsay frowns. “I totally suck at it. Plus, I could break a heel…”

“And why do I only get two rounds? I won dodgeball for my team back in the day!” Vickie argues.

“Better yet, why do you get one single round?” Alejandro demands.

“I am obviously throwing this on purpose,” Julia scoffs. “Why on Earth would I put Lindsay in for so long? Why would I take out Alejandro and Vickie? They’re our strongest players! Taking the losing initiative is risky, but in my last seasons, I came on the show without having seen it before. Yeah, so that loser Damien and I have something in common, gross…

“But between last year and now, I’ve binged every season, and that shark-phobic ginger from season four, whatever his name was, had a point. If our team is seen as the strongest, we’ll get out the fastest at merge. I need to make it there, get some allies, including MK and whatever friends she can make until then, and boom! Bye-bye, Wayne, hello, two million!”

Duncan blows his whistle.

“Are the teams ready?”

“Well, not exactly—”

“I think our strategy could use a little polishing—”

“Just give us a minute—”

“Great!” Duncan grins. “On your marks, then!”

“I am so killing him off-camera,” Courtney grumbles.

Courtney, DJ, Bridgette, Bowie and Priya face off against Leshawna, Vickie, Alejandro, Heather and Lindsay. Vickie and Leshawna, as well as Alejandro and Heather, exchange doubtful glances.

“Ready, set…”

Duncan blows the whistle.

It’s like the match doesn’t even happen, that’s how fast everything is over. Courtney, Bowie and Priya aim for the strongest competitors – Vickie, Alejandro and Heather go down with groans and painful thuds. DJ and Bridgette smirk at Leshawna and Lindsay, and in the next moment, they’re down, too.

Duncan blows the whistle again, with a disappointed sigh.

“The Winning Warthogs win the first round… Yippie.”

“Come on, they’re supposed to blow it!” the rockstar complains in the confessional. “Without me, they have zero chance of winning this challenge, much less the next ones.” He grins. “And yeah, Chris let me in on the whole season’s challenges… Perks of the job, and being one of the favorite competitors. Let’s just say, even if they do win today, there’s no way they’ll win next time. Not without me, anyways.”

“We are so winning this without Duncan!” Courtney cheers. “Go, team Courtney!” Her eyes widen. “I mean, Winning Warthogs! Go, Warthogs! Whoop, whoop!”

“We gotta up our game!” Heather groans. “If we listen to Julia, we’ll all be toast.”

“I’ve watched the seasons, and Heather’s right,” Vickie agrees. “Julia’s a monster – and not the ‘I’ll eventually get a redemption arc’ kind of monster, but the influencer one!”

“I don’t think all influencers are evil…” Alejandro frowns.

“Julia and Chase say nothing to you?” Leshawna raises an eyebrow.

Alejandro shakes his head. “I haven’t seen these seasons, remember?”

“Also, Markiplier would never,” Vickie raises a point.

“I think we could try listening to Julia,” Lindsay shrugs. “She’s just a kid. How bad can she be? We can’t be manipulated by a teenager, right?”

“Why does this sound so familiar?” Leshawna ponders.

“No time for that,” Alejandro cuts in. “We’ll go by Julia’s strategy, so be it – and if it costs us the game, we’re voting her out.”

Lindsay sighs. “Fine…”

“I haven’t watched the new seasons either, but I don’t think a kid like Julia could be that bad,” Lindsay argues. Then she frowns. “Although… Gwen did tell me to watch out for her. Ugh, I hate distrusting people… I love people! People are what make my life worth it! Without trust, I’m nothing!”

Alejandro and Vickie step on the bench, and Raj and Nichelle exchange doubtful glances as they walk into the game.

“You can do this, Heather!” Alejandro says. “Um—team! You can do this, team, is what I meant to say, and what I did!”

“Keep it in your pants, Ale-dork-o,” Julia hisses.

“Touchy!” Alejandro remarks. “Are you still annoyed your ‘friend’ was put on another team?”

“Who? MK?” Julia’s face reddens as she glances away. “As if I miss that smartass jerk.”

Alejandro snorts. “Right.”

“Alejandro…” Julia groans. “If I didn’t have my sights set on the weakling of our team – which is not him – he’d be going today! How dare he call out my crush on MK!” She catches herself and stares at the camera. “B-because he’s wrong, and it’s weird to just assume! That’s what I meant by ‘call out’ – that’s it!”

A cut—

“I WANT THAT TAPE BACK! GIVE ME THAT TAPE! HOW THE HELL DO YOU OPEN THIS DAMN THING?! OPEN UP OR FEEL MY AND MOTHER EARTH’S WRATH!”

“On your marks…” Duncan calls out. “Get set…”

He blows his whistle.

Lindsay, Heather and Leshawna are in the front, and they all fire at the same time. As Alejandro and Vickie whoop, and Julia watches with a glare, Emma and Priya go down by the three balls.

“Way to waste a ball, Lindsay!” Julia calls out.

“It wasn’t a waste, she got someone!” Leshawna argues.

“Oh, she got Emma, that’s gonna do us so well,” Julia sarcastically says.

“Hey!” Emma exclaims, offended.

Duncan gestures at Emma and Priya to get out. When he blows the whistle again, Bowie and Wayne hit Leshawna and Heather, respectively. Alejandro hisses in telepathic pain and anger on the bench.

“Come on, she totally deflected that!” he argues.

“No, she didn’t,” Duncan snorts. “But keep defending Heather, it’s entertaining to see you haven’t lost interest in all these years.”

“Sound familiar?” Alejandro fires back.

“Eat shit!” Duncan retorts, probably because it does sound familiar.

Courtney, Bowie and Wayne stare down Lindsay, Raj and Nichelle. The three boys exchange saddened, confused glances. One of them must make a move, but none are able to. In their uncertainty, Courtney and Lindsay both fire, and, surprisingly, take each other out.

“Wh—what happened?” Vickie groans, “Th-that doesn’t count!”

“Actually, it does!” Duncan announces. “Lindsay and Courtney are both out! It’s now two against two!”

“Damn it!” Courtney curses. “It’s all on you, boys. Think you can do it?” She spares a glance in the opposite team’s direction. “After all…”

“We’ll be fine,” Bowie assures, despite his tone saying anything but. “We’ve got this.”

And, despite him hesitating, he knows, deep down, that they have got this.

Wayne and Bowie look at Raj. The latter awkwardly giggles, then gulps.

“So, uh…” he chuckles. “May the best win, ey?”

“It’s just how it is,” Bowie shrugs, though not short of disappointed.

“Come on already!” Julia groans from the bench. “Get them!”

“Shut the hell up!” Bowie and Raj both turn to her.

In the moment of distraction, Wayne chucks his ball at Nichelle, who goes down without a fight, but with a groan of pain, and a thud to match. As she struggles to catch her breath, Bowie stares Raj down.

“I-I can’t do this…” Raj shakes his head. “It feels wrong…”

Bowie sighs.

“I’m sorry, Raj.”

The eyes of the two boyfriends meet.

“I can.”

The hockey player doesn’t have time to dodge or deflect the ball – Bowie hits him right in the face, and Duncan wastes no time blowing the decisive whistle.

“The Winning Warthogs win!” Chris announces. “Confused Condors, tonight, you vote one of your own!”

“Oh, shit—”

Bowie’s unceremonious use of language is followed by a panicked run towards his boyfriend, who is laying on the cold hard floor.

“Raj! Raj, can you hear me? Are you okay? Did I hit you too hard?”

Raj groans as he struggles to sit up, and Bowie worriedly watches him as he does.

“Ohhh…” Raj holds his forehead. “I’m okay… I’m fine, Bo, I really am.”

“I’m so sorry!” Bowie exclaims. “I got carried away and I—”

“Bowie, you won!” Raj laughs. “Why are you apologizing? I’m happy for you!”

Bowie’s eyes widen. “You… you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad? You did what you had to do!”

“But… but to hit you – my own boyfriend! – just like that…”

“Dude, your own boyfriend is your competition now.” Raj winks. “You did well. Besides,” he chuckles, “it’s not like I’m going home.”

“Julia’s fate is sealed,” Bowie nods reassuringly. “You go get her and—”

“Well, actually!” interjects Chris.

“What?” Raj and Bowie collectively say as Bowie helps Raj up.

“Before we get into that, let me tell you what you won, Warthogs!” Chris announces. “Your reward is an all-expenses paid trip that will include a sightseeing tour, a visit to a highly-rated spa, visits to refined restaurants, and more! You will return to the island in a few days, after your trip is done.”

“What?!” Julia is outraged. “You can’t be serious!”

“Aw, man, we could’ve had all of that!” Ripper groans.

“Save it,” Chris says. “Condors… since Raj and Nichelle were the last ones to go down and Julia was basically useless, it’d be unfair to vote for them. That’s why I’m giving all three of them immunity!”

“What?!” collectively gasp the adults on the Confused Condors, as well as Bowie and Raj.

“You can’t do that!” Vickie hisses.

“That’s unfair!” Lindsay whines.

“This is outrageous!” Alejandro growls.

“How would it be unfair to vote Julia because she was useless?” Heather demands. “That’s exactly why we should vote for her!!”

“Courtney, get me your best lawyer!” Leshawna snaps her fingers.

Duncan blows his whistle, and everyone goes quiet. Chris cackles.

“Thanks, Duncan! And yes, I can do this, and I will,” Chris threatens. “Now, prepare to vote off someone from your precious alliance. One of the adults is going home.”

“This is ridiculous!” Alejandro complains. “First Julia takes the reigns and leads us to failure, then we have to vote off someone who actually contributed? Why did I ever come back to this stupid show?!”

The confessional then ends, but not before a string of Spanish words that is definitely far from friendly.

“Note to self,” Lindsay says, scribbling down furiously into a small notebook. “Never… trust… influencers!”

And finally, Vickie, nodding with an ‘I told you so’ look on her face.

“Markiplier would have never.”

“I love my job!” Chris exclaims for the umpteenth time in the series. “I really, really love my job.”

The Confused Condors exchange glances… Tonight’s ceremony will not be easy.

“You want one?”

“Eh, sure, why not… I thought you were offering me ‘your friendship’, though?”

“My friendship can come with more.”

“I like you, kid.”

“Are you two—is this allowed?”

“It’s allowed if Chris doesn’t find out,” Zee shrugs, rolling up a third joint. He then holds it out to Owen. “You in?”

Owen looks from Zee to Noah, then again to Zee. With a shrug, he sits down.

“Yeah, sure. After today, I could probably use one.”

“Sick! Making friends, man. Making friends.”

Owen takes a drag and blows out the smoke before speaking.

“Who do you think is going home tonight?” he addresses the other two.

“Julia,” Zee shrugs.

“Julia has immunity,” Noah reminds.

“Oh, right…” Zee slowly blinks, akin to a frog’s irregular blinks. “Uh, well, maybe Raj, since he couldn’t win it for his team by taking down Bowie—”

“He also has immunity.”

“What about Nichelle?”

“We should stop talking.”

“Okay!”

“I almost feel a bit bad for the other team,” Courtney chuckles as she boards the yacht that will be taking her team on their trip. “It really sucks that they can’t vote out Julia.”

“I just hope Alejandro and Heather get to see another day,” Bridgette says. “Never thought I’d say this, but I kinda hope they get far. Have you seen the way they’re acting around one another?”

“Ugh, they’re hopelessly in love, as always,” Bowie calls. “Not like I’m surprised, with the note they ended in on World Tour…”

“But Heather didn’t seem happy to be together with Alejandro at the end of All Stars,” Emma frowns. “She was all sarcastic and stuff, remember?”

“Pssh, please,” Bowie absently waves his hand. “That season was totally scripted.”

“What?!” Courtney exclaims, shocked. “H-how did you know? Who told you that? Were you looking through the tapes? Did MK teach you how?”

“Wait, what?” Bowie also exclaims. “I’m… right? That was just a thing I used to joke about with some friends… You mean All Stars really was scripted?”

“I mean…” Courtney quickly recovers. “It… wasn’t. Not all of it, at least. Mal, that entire thing with him was scripted – he was just some ‘misunderstood emo boy’ or whatever, but Chris really wanted some drama. He sprinkled in some lies and rumours at the start, which is why we acted so…” She flinches. “Out of character, you could say.”

“You were dumbed down hard!” Bowie nods.

“Eh, we were dumb teens also,” Courtney sighs. “You lot are not the brightest either, and you can’t, and shouldn’t, even be.”

“What about the love triangle?” Bowie raises an eyebrow. “That had to be fake too, right? The way Gwen betrayed you like that—it has to be a dumb script.”

Courtney looks at him for a few seconds, processing slowly. With a forced chuckle and an equally so nod, she speaks.

“Scripted, yeah. The entire love triangle was… scripted.”

“The iconic love triangle was fake?!” Priya is shocked, and quick to believe her idol. “Wow… How will I break it to my parents…?”

Bowie and Wayne exchange unsure glances. Courtney’s tone was anything but convincing – the ache in her voice was anything but hard to notice.

Bowie shrugs, deciding to play it off if so desired Courtney. “Okay, but I need to know… Do you still like Duncan?”

“What?” Courtney immediately reddens at the change of topic. “What gave you that impression?”

“You were a bit hesitant when he went off the other night…” Emma says.

“And you also seemed disappointed when he yelled at me,” Bowie adds.

“Not to mention a power couple like you can only go so long without one another,” Priya shrugs.

Courtney grumbles as she boards the yacht.

“I’m never telling you anything again…”

Bowie chuckles and exchanges glances with Priya.

“She’s totally still into him,” they conclude at the same time.

The communal bathroom is still as crummy as always, two of the women have concluded tonight.

“This is annoying,” Gwen says.

“It’s ridiculous, is what it is,” Heather sighs as she wipes off her make-up for the day. “Why does Julia get immunity? I have a bad feeling about that one…”

“Well, nevermind that. Who are you going to vote?”

“I don’t know… Vickie and Lindsay are already rich and famous, so I guess it will be between them.”

“That seems a bit unfair.”

“I know, but do we have another choice?”

“Why not Alejandro? The women’s alliance, remember? If you get him out, we’re one step closer to getting DJ, Owen and Noah out, too.”

“But I… Well…”

Gwen smirks.

“You’re so transparent.”

Heather reddens, but doesn’t break eye contact with her reflection in the mirror.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re so into Alejandro, it’s stupid.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You’re trying so hard to protect him!”

“Well, he deserves it! He’s a hard worker, and I know he can get the team far.”

Heather sighs and washes her face. The bathroom turns quiet.

“Look,” the silence is broken after a few minutes. “I’m keeping Alejandro in until the merge. Then, we can do whatever we want with him. But I know he’ll help my team, and that’s what I need right now.”

“So, who are you gunning for, then?”

“Well… Let’s just say this All-Stars season won’t be hers this time around either.”

Gwen gasps.

“No… Really? Why her?”

Heather just sighs.

“There’s no reason, Gwen. It’s just something I must do.”

Gwen touches Heather’s shoulder.

“If that’s what you think is best.”

Heather sighs, but nods slowly.

“I wish I didn’t have to.”

“Welcome to tonight’s elimination!”

Chris is cheerful as he holds the papers with the votes. Chef stands by him, more tired than anything, wanting the day to be over already. A new addition is also here: Duncan, holding the plate of marshmallows.

“So, lots of tension… Julia, care to explain?”

“I deserve this immunity,” Julia scoffs.

“No, you don’t,” retort the other seven of the team.

“Whatever! You’re just mad you didn’t come up with a strategy yourself,” Julia rolls her eyes. “Move on!”

“I’m still confident about my strategy,” the villainess informs. “Today is just today. Who knows what drama I can stir up the next challenge to turn their heads away from me? Whatever happens, I will not be the number one threat.”

“Alright, Chef, tell them their mistakes.”

“From the beginning, or—?”

“Just today is fine.”

“Oh, thank goodness, we were gonna be here all night if not.”

Chef clears his throat.

“Julia, you’re safe, but your bad attitude and horrible plan that led your team to a horrible loss today might bring your doom later down the line.”

“Whatever.”

“Raj, you’re also safe, but your soft spot for your boyfriend and refusal to strike him down was the reason your team lost today.”

“I’m sorry…”

“So, it comes down to the adults, whom we have nothing to say about. All that more of a reason to be worried.”

“If Duncan hands you a marshmallow, you are safe,” Chris announces. “Tonight, those getting a soft, fluffy pillow of sugary goodness are…”

The team exchanges tense glances.

“Raj, Nichelle and Julia…”

The teens grab their immunity symbol. Raj is distracted and looking sadly at the ground, while Julia smirks. Nichelle worriedly eyes the boy, but turns back to Chris as he shouts out names.

“Heather and Alejandro, our beloved power couple…”

The two mentioned receive their marshmallows with identical eyerolls.

“And Leshawna, good for you!”

“Heck yes!” Leshawna cheers.

“Now,” Chris grins, “it’s down to the celebs. One of you will be saying goodbye to their fans watching tonight. Will it be Lindsay or Vickie? Lindsay, Vickie? Lindsay or—”

“Come on, McLean!” Julia groans.

“Let me have this!” Chris retorts, just as sour. “Ahem, as I was saying… The last person safe tonight is…”

Vickie and Lindsay exchange surprised glances. The fact that it’s down to them unnerves both. Each of them stares at Chris with a fearful expression, knowing that only one of them may get to see the next day on the island.

Duncan raises his hand, and tosses the last and final marshmallow to—

“Vickie!”

Vickie lets out a shuddering breath of relief, while Lindsay sighs sadly.

“Lindsay, you’re out! Sorry it had to be this way. Oh, wait!” Chris boisterously laughs. “No, I’m not.”

“Aw… Well,” Lindsay smiles, “bye, guys. I hope you make it far in the game.”

“We’ll miss you, girl,” Leshawna frowns. “I’m sorry it turned out like this.”

“We had no other choice,” Heather explains, saddened.

“Don’t worry!” Lindsay assures, cheerful as always. “I’m okay with it! I’m a multi-millionaire anyways – Chris only brought me back for reach!”

“Ahem, well, we’re on a schedule, so hurry up!” Chris interrupts. “Duncan, if you could please guide our loser to the Dock of Shame and see her off.”

“Come on, then,” Duncan says. “Let’s get this over with.”

As Lindsay Laurier, tonight’s loser, walks alongside Duncan Tarun, the first eliminated, a certain blonde influencer struggles to contain her excited laughter. What an easy victory against those that doubted her… Tonight, everyone sees what it really means to mess with Julia Amana.

“Am I going to Playa des Losers again?”

“Yup. Chris wants every loser there for a few special episodes.”

“Aw, too bad. I wanted to go home…”

“Hear, hear.”

“What do you mean? You’ve stayed here, haven’t you? Why would you that?”

“Um… There’s some things I wanna fix.”

“Like your relationship with Courtney?”

“Among others.”

Lindsay chuckles.

“I knew you still cared for her.”

Duncan rolls his eyes, but a fond smile plays on his face regardless.

“You’re oddly chipper for the second one voted out of the season.”

“I’m used to being mistreated on the show,” the model shrugs like it’s nothing. “Besides, Playa des Losers is amazing! To have it all to myself for a couple of days is a dream!”

“Can’t argue with that. And you don’t have a humiliating mode of transportation! I call that a win-win.”

“It really is!”

Lindsay sighs as she overlooks the island.

“Well, this is it, then.”

“I guess so.”

“You know, Duncan, I don’t think you’re still a bad guy.”

That makes Duncan do a double take.

“Oh—? Really?”

“You always act so tough, as if nothing can get to you.” Lindsay smiles softly. “I think that… you should have the courage to act kind more often. It speaks more than you’d think.”

Duncan returns the smile.

“I’ll try.”

Lindsay gets on the boat. Duncan hands her a few bags – her luggage. The model frowns.

“I thought Chris wouldn’t let me pack…”

“Yeah, he wouldn’t. I smuggled these for you.”

“Oh, Duncan…!”

“Ah, I’ll never hear the end of it now, will I?”

“No, you won’t.” Lindsay smiles. “Because I can see that courage is already happening.”

As the boat starts to sail away, she shouts into the night:

“I believe in you, Duncan! Go get her!”

And Duncan knows who ‘she’ is, without having to shout back.

“Have a safe trip!” – is what he says instead.

Similar to a show that definitely has nothing to do with Total Drama, a few clips of Lindsay play over a voiceover she does to commemorate her short time in the season.

“I didn’t get to stay much this All-Stars season, either. But you know what? I’m happy I came back, despite being the second voted out. I got to meet my friends all over again! I feel so happy to have seen their faces, and this inspires me to reach out to them more and try to hold more get-togethers! After all, being on Total Drama is… definitely an experience we can bond over.

“One thing I can say for certain is… Chloe, never become like Julia, ever!”

The clips end, and onto the dock steps Chris.

“Ugh, feelings!” he complains. “Okay, you’re good to head back to your quarters, I have an outro to do here.”

On cue, the iconic music kicks in. Chris clears his throat.

“Two down, twenty-two to go – our original number of contestants, what good memories it holds!” He chuckles. “And painful! But really, that’s only a synonym for good, isn’t it?”

“It really isn’t,” Duncan chimes in.

“Now with Lindsay out, is it only a matter of time before Julia is unable to fend for herself and will be thrown on the Boat of Losers, too? Or will she able to make some allies? Whatever peril will I put these poor people in next? And will next episode be even bigger and better than this one? My money’s already on yes – but find out next time, right here, on Total… Drama… The Bridge Between Generations!”