Chapter Text
“What is this?” Ashlyn turned the bright-yellow soft plastic in her hand, sort of registering it was a necklace by the string tied to it.
“It’s — ya’ know. Chewerly. You just bite it.” Aiden ripped open another Amazen package, a few more … ‘chewerly’ falling out when he turned the package upside down.
“Uhm… okay? Why would I need this?” Ashlyn then inspected the newly dropped ones, noticing that these were differently shaped than the yellow one she has been holding. The yellow one was more cylindrical, like a pencil. These ones were more circular.
“You have a really bad chewing problem when you’re regressed,” He tore open another bag. Ashlyn felt her warmth crawl from her neck to her face.
The overly bright colors made sense now. And how one of the more circular ones had dragons engraved. They looked childish because they were for children.
“No I don’t.” What a weird lie. She knows she did. He knows she did. Why deny it?
Aiden airily laughed, collecting the empty bags the necklaces had came in. “What? Yea you do, you usually have imprints on your hands from how hand you bite yourself.”
She cupped her hands in the weakest attempt to hide the fading bruises on her fingers. He was right. She did not want to admit that.
“Doesn’t mean I need something like this.” She countered, almost flinching at the strange look Aiden gave her. He was still smiling, as always but his eyebrows were knit in a way you just knew he was offset by something.
“Uh…yeah, I guess. But it’d help! I think. And I just wanted to buy you something,” He put all the trash from the packages into one bag, side to be properly thrown away later.
She stared at all the necklakes. There were like six. Why would she need so many? She doesn’t even want one.
She felt overwhelm loom over her.
And with the smallest amount of stress, always came a disproportionate (and misdirected) flood of anger.
She poorly contained most of it.
“I don’t need something like this. I don’t need anything, especially for when I’m like that.”
Her words were too harsh for this situation. She was putting far too much emotion into this. Why not just accept the gifts, put them in a box, and never use them?
His smile faltered, flickering away for just a moment before he busied himself with something. He took her desk chair out from its place and started spinning as he spoke,
“Why not? What’s so horrible about having stuff for when you’re ‘like that’ ?” He had a laugh on the edge of his tone, a smile so clear in his voice. Very much so, he was challenging her words. Testing almost.
“Because—“
Why, actually? She has no reason to be so ashamed over this.
The logical part of her recognized that. The part of her that was truly stressed over some plastic attached to a string was the part that spoke louder.
Because it makes me vulnerable. Weak. Dependent. Clumsy and slow. Unable to talk for no reason— her least favorite part about it.
“Because it’s—“ dumb, was the part she shut herself up at before it could slip out. She felt dumb after being regressed. Embarrassed and sorry to whoever she bothered.
She never bothered anyone. It’s a mystery where she got that idea.
She refused to let herself say it’s dumb. Almost hated to think it. Aiden and Taylor also regressed. They also got as ‘weak’ and dependent. Maybe not as clumsy, maybe still able to communicate easily, but just as vulnerable.
It’d be an insult to them, one they certainly didn’t deserve.
Aiden was mostly unaware of her turmoil. He knew she liked to avoid the topic of her regression until she was regressed. Maybe he should’ve waited until then to give her these.
… not all of those, actually. He got up form the chair, disoriented and dizzy. He steadied himself and snatched one of the circular ones. Specifically, the one with the engraved dragon.
“I kind of wanted this one,” He said, placing it around his neck and slyly smiling at the bewildered look on Ashlyn’s face. “What? You got five others, don’t get greedy.” He laughed, and it calmed Ashlyn in the weird way he always did.
She rolled her eyes to feign impassiveness, muttering something about take some more, and I’m probably gonna give some to Taylor too.