Chapter Text
Despite the normal chaos at Ouran Academy, Saiki K was on high alert. After his run-in with Koruga, he wasn’t in the mood for parties - nor was he in the mood for any of the chaotic stuff the club has in store for him. Yet, here he is- in the middle of Music Room #3 with girls all over the couch he sat on.
“Saiki, you and Honey share a HUGE sweet tooth. Are you sure you aren’t related?” A girl asked as Saiki ate his coffee jelly. He shakes his head. “If I was, I’m sure I’d know about it by now.” He wasn’t really in the mood to be talking to random women who just wanted to live out some weird otome fantasy they had in their heads. Saiki was fine though, as long as the hosts didn’t pull any pranks or nothing bad-
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S LOCKED?!” A familiar dramatic voice yelled as a screen showed off. “Takashi, are we locked in?” Honey-Senpai asked the taller male. Mori just nods in reply. Two twins in the corner just lean back. “Seems like we’re gonna starve here.” The dramatic blonde cries out. “SOMEONE GET US OUT OF HERE!”
Saiki’s eyes shot open. Another desert time ruined. Another vision?
What room was that? He looks around, only to see concerned women all around him. “Saiki..?”
“I have to go. Restroom.” Saiki gets up, and walks through the host club doors. The girls sat there in shock, not for long though. Saiki’s spot was immediately taken by one of the Hitachiin twins.
Saiki just sat down on a bench in the empty halls of the prestigious academy.
What am I meant to do? We’re gonna get locked in? But the room itself is nothing special. Is it really considered a crisis? …No if I saw it with my precognition, it’s something dangerous. ..I mean, I could always unlock it, but they’d ask how I did it. I can’t let another slip up happen. Too many things have happened in front of the club. I can’t let that happen. Then again, I can stop whatever is going to happen. I’d stand out as a freak- His thoughts were cut off by a familiar monotone voice.
“Shortcake.”
Saiki looks up from the floor to see his friend, Mori-senpai. “Mori. What are you doing out here?”
“Are you okay?” The male sat down next to him. “You never leave in the middle of club activity.”
“...It was getting too loud.” Saiki decided to lie, glancing away. “You don’t have to stay here. You should just head back in. The girls are expecting you and Honey to be in there.”
The two boys sat there for a while. The taller male just shook his head staying with Saiki. “Why aren’t you leaving?”
“...Cause you’re lying.”
Saiki looks at Mori, shocked. “What are you talking about?” Mori didn’t respond and instead decided that the marble wall was more important. Saiki just backed off.
There’s no way he knows. I’ve been so careful. Sure, there’s been slip-ups. .. What if they know? Would they-
“Let’s go back.” Mori said, getting up from the seat. Saiki just nods and follows him back in. I’ll figure it out. It’s not like it’ll be life threatening-\
“Kusuo!”
… Oh right. I forgot God hates me.
“My little brother! It’s been so long!” Kusuke, Saiki’s older brother, hurried to his brother to hug him. Though, the notion was denied the moment Saiki stepped left to avoid the contact. “Ah.. the same as always.” Kusuke laughs awkwardly. Every girl in the room was confused.
“Saiki has an older brother? How come he’s never been brought up? The rumors started to spread around the room. Even the host club was getting ignored. The members were preoccupied with their own feelings, considering the last time they saw Saiki’s brother.
“As much as I’d like to talk here Saiki, I can’t with all the wonderful ladies around. Plus, I need the host club members too! See, Can’t you see I’m really considerate and caring towards you, little brother?” Kusuke’s smile was really off-putting. Saiki’s glare was clear to the rest of the room too.
“Alright ladies, I’m so sorry for the sudden closing. But when one member is in an emergency, all of us are.” Tamaki, the prince of the club, announced. Kyoya, his right-hand-man nods and helps the ladies out before the twins close the doors.
“We’re not playing any game with you. I already won, can’t you just leave me alone?” Saiki glares, clearly not in the mood for his masochistic brother’s ideas. Kaoru and Hikaru hurried to Saiki’s side. “Yeah, dude- That game of Tag ended weirdly!” Hikaru called out.
Kusuke laughs. “I apologize for that game, but I promise you. It isn’t a game this time. In fact, it’s more of a surprise. In fact, I don’t even know. You see, I got a mysterious package with an even more mysterious CD. I don’t know who gave it to me, but the only label on it was Saiki so I thought it was for me. But when I put it in a CD player, it didn’t work. All it said was “Saiki,” so I tried our closest relatives and even then it didn't work. So, I’m here to deliver this CD to you little brother!” Kusuke smiles wide, handing over such a beaten up box.
“You’re kidding right? This has to be a trick.” Saiki hums. “Well if you’re worried about it Kusuo, why don’t you check it?” Kusuke laughs with a gentle smile.
You know I can’t. Not in front of everyone. Saiki looks at the box as Tamaki grabs onto the shorter blonde. “You! What kind of tricks are you trying to pull on my sweet son Saiki?” He yelled, shaking Kusuke until birds flew around his head. “We won’t let you hurt him even if you are his older brother!”
“Oh please! I’ll never put my cute little brother in trouble! Don’t you remember I hit him with soft snow instead of the harsh ice?” He laughs a bit.
“Saiki, don’t do anything you don’t want to!” Tamaki ordered but Saiki was already opening the box to see that his brother was telling the truth. One of the rare times he was. The CD was in a case that was labeled Saiki. The twins poke their heads in. “Oh wow. He wasn’t lying at all, boss!” One of them called out.
Little Honey pushes the twins aside to grab the CD. “Oh wow!” He raised it up high for his cousin, Mori to see. “Look Takashi!” The taller male just nods in acknowledgement. Tamaki still held onto Kusuke’s collar, now glaring into the blonde’s soul. “You! What is on that CD? It better not have soul crushing content! My precious Saiki is too innocent to be tainted!!”
Geez you sound like Grandpa.
“…Why would you give me a broken CD?” Saiki glances up, his eyes narrowing. “Well, the CD isn’t gonna be helpful to me. If I had psychic powers, I’d force the CD to work but I don’t! Haha!”
Ah so that’s it. I can’t read his mind so I can’t tell if he’s the creator of the CD. I can’t check it with my Psychometry. For everyone who isn’t a Saiki K fan, that’s the power that lets me see everything’s origin just by touch. The issue is I have these thin gloves on that help me block it. I can’t take them off in front of everyone. And I can’t make sure I’m not being stared at because I have the Geranium ring blocking out my telepathy.
So just like that, thanks to social convention, I have to play along.
“Tamaki, do we have a..” Saiki started but Kyoya was already on it. “Yes. I have a CD player. We have it hooked up to a projector as well.” Suddenly, the curtains were closed and the white projector screen fell from the tall ceiling.
“Well, I’ll leave you all to it!” Kusuke pushed Tamaki away before beelining to the door. “Have fun!” He closes the door.
Wait.
Kyoya was putting the CD in the player as Tamaki went to follow Saiki’s brother. But the knob wouldn’t budge. “What?” The prince asked as the twins looked at the corner. “..Well, would you look at that? We’re locked in.” Both red-head twins hum in unison.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S LOCKED?!” A familiar dramatic voice yelled as a screen showed off. “Takashi, are we locked in?” Honey-Senpai asked the taller male. Mori just nods in reply. Two twins in the corner just lean back. “Seems like we’re gonna starve here.” The dramatic blonde cries out. “SOMEONE GET US OUT OF HERE!”
…Of course. How could I have been so stupid? Whatever happens here, Whatever plays on this CD- Kusuke wants everyone to see. I can’t stop it. Can I?
“It seems whatever is on the CD, Saiki’s brother wants to make sure we see it.” He looks at Saiki, then to his close friend Tamaki. “Let’s give him what he wants. Besides, aren’t you curious?” The twins shrug. “I mean why not?” Karou walks over. Honey Senpai just decided to sit next to Saiki on one of the couches in front of the projector. “I wanna know why this is so important!” The small blonde snuggled up to Saiki’s side- taking a bite of his cake.
This isn’t gonna end well. Is it?
Kyoya just pressed play, and everyone- even Haruhi decided to sit and watch. Not that there was much of a choice.
~
The camera pans around the world, stopping at Japan. Zooming in, Saiki’s voice could be heard narrating.
“When you have psychic powers, the impossible becomes possible.”
~
… There’s no way.
“Huh? What is that supposed to mean?” One of the twins asked out loud. Tamaki just jumps up. “What is this? Did someone stalk you Saiki? If so, Why are you even narrating it?”
“It looks more like those anime the peasants watch in their spare time.” Kyoya hums. “How interesting.” He looks at Saiki, who was less than amused.
This can’t be happening.
~
The zoom ended in a random neighborhood where a woman and a man were talking. The man petted the dog gently as he exclaimed, “Woah, look at this guy! So cute- I’m a huge dog lover.”
But his face changed, and his inner voice could be heard. But I am way into girls.
~
All of the members' faces scrunch up. “That boy is never gonna be good enough for any self-respecting lady!” Tamaki called out as the others just quietly agreed. The twins were laughing to themselves. Saiki’s face fell. He knew exactly what was about to happen.
~
The cute little dog then started to run into the street. The leash that was held by the lady being forced out of her hand. The two yell for the dog to come back just as it stands in front of a truck.
“Pochimi!!” The lady screams as the guy yelled in shock and fear.
~
The host club watches in shock. “Why are they just standing there?” Tamaki, the romantic prince, was frustrated. Then again, he’s very impulsive and probably would have jumped in and saved the puppy. Honey-senpai was sitting on the couch, Takashi’s eyes narrowed.
This isn’t gonna end well.
~
The truck then suddenly flew off the street, avoiding the dog and landing safely afterwards. To everyone, the car looked like it just jumped to avoid the dog.. which wouldn’t be possible.
The camera panned over to the couple as the dog walked back to his owner. The guy then sighs. “Well, that was weird. Anyways, want to go out sometime?”
~
The group just groans. “This dude is desperate.” Kaoru laughs as Kyoya chuckles. “I suppose commoners have to do anything to get any woman.” Honey-senpai shakes his head. “Maybe they are just a weird guy! After all, Saiki is a commoner and he isn’t like this at all!” The blonde smiles quietly.
That’s just because I don’t care.
~
“Ew are you trying to pick me up?” The lady retorts as the camera zooms out to show the shoulder of someone wearing a green PK academy uniform. It then showed Saiki, with his green glasses and his hand raised up a bit.
My name is Kusuo Saiki and I have psychic superpowers.
~
“ WHAT?! “ The cast seem to be shocked to their core as Saiki just hunches over in defeat.
So this is what you wanted huh? You can’t defeat me via games so you force me into a social situation that forces me to lose. Fine. If that’s how it is, I’ll show you that I could care less about this.… Saiki looks at the others, seeing mostly shocked faces.
…Still, this has to be some kind of sick joke.