Chapter Text
Dante sees the chainsaws. Dante sees the chainsaws combine into a motorcycle. Dante sees the motorcycle spear through three Wraths with the built in horns and then do a wheelie, killing four more.
Dante wants the chainsaw-motorcycle.
Dante wants it so bad.
He spears his own gaggle of Sloths with a Million Stabs attack -assholes giving laziness a bad name-, and doesn't even pay attention while they dissolve into orbs to be absorbed.
No, there is something much more important here that demands all his attention right now. He ambles over, forcefully nonchalant. Knowing himself too well to think it's fooling other Dante but there are appearances to be kept or whatever.
Is he drooling? He may be drooling.
Who cares.
This is even better than pizza. He can't contain the excitement.
"Where!" he demands as soon as he is in earshot. He doesn't even bother trying to form full sentences in the face of such a perfect weapon.
It's not necessary anyway. The other Dante smiles, a smugly satisfied grin that would grind all of Dante's gears but in this situation right here he gotta admit it's well deserved. This is a thing of beauty. Utter perfection. Only the Rebellion is better. And maybe the Yamato. Maybe. If Verge isn't being a prick about it.
He would try to haggle a price -orbs, what meager money he can scrounge together, all his Devil Arms, the coat off his back- but he knows himself well enough to know it's futile. He would not part with this thing for any riches in the world, so future Dante won't either.
This is a big problem.
But if other Dante has it then he can get it too, right? Somewhere in the future or whatever? Right? Please.
"Sadly not where you can access it. I'm pretty sure we changed events too much to ensure Cavaliere's existence."
With just a few words older Dante crushes all his dreams in one fell swoop, but he does at least look appropriately commiserating over it.
Still, Dante experiences a dizzying rush of grief and despair.
"Please," he begs and is not even ashamed of it. He needs this in his life. "Pleeeeeeease."
"No."
"I will give you my first born."
Future Dante opens his mouth to answer then abruptly stops, furrowing his brows as he thinks that one through.
Dante winces slightly. Ok, so, yeah. That was weird. Moving right along.
"You can just wander off to whatever future still has Cavaliere and get him again. I can't do that!" He gesticulates widely at Vergil, sulking off to the side. His brother bares his teeth at him for it but doesn't otherwise comment. Yet. "My Verge can't do the portal stuff, so I'm stuck here. Cavaliere-less!"
God, even the name is cool.
And there is the indignation from his twin. Serves him right. Dante throws the exact same sneer right back into his face and they are stuck staring each other down for a few seconds, neither of them willing to look away first.
Older Dante snorting and waving his hand between them finally breaks the stalemate.
"I will figure it out soon enough," Vergil sniffs haughtily, turning away with his nose stuck in the air, portraying unaffected like his life depends on it.
Hah. Dante knows him too well to buy that. Verge is seethingly jealous of the fact he can't portal around yet.
When Dante turns back to his older self the man is grinning at them, clearly endlessly amused. Dante is going to, like, pack that away somewhere in his brain and never look at it again. It's so weird to see himself observing himself interacting with his twin. Yikes. No. Stop thinking about it.
Back to chainsaw-motorcycles.
And you know. He still has an ace here. He already loves her, after all. So obviously older Dante must adore her too. He has seen the jealous look when he used her in battle just now.
"I will give you Nevan," he cajoles, leaning forward to get into his own face with a manic grin.
This is it. His only way to get his hands on the motorcycle. It pains him but sacrifices must be made. In a comparison between awesome electric guitar that shoots bats and awesome motorcycle that turns into chainsaws, the motorcycle wins. Just barely, but it does.
Now, hopefully older Dante won't think the same.
Said older Dante narrows his eyes and Dante can see how tempted he is. He grins even more maniacally, summoning the guitar scyte for good measure, letting his fingertips trail over the strings. She thrums eagerly, so very greedy to scream.
Older Dante visibly wavers. Dante does it again, summons one of those cute little bats to sit on the headstock for good measure.
Older Dante whips his head around, pinpointing his own twin who is still skewering Prides on his Yamato. He is the only one still fighting, methodically going through the rest of the demons loitering around.
"Verge!" older Dante shouts, "Verge, we gotta go get another Cavaliere sometime soon. I will need it."
Dante's grin damn near rips his cheeks apart it's so wide. He can taste his victory and it tastes like motor oil.
That Vergil turns his head to them, raining a shower of blue blades down on the last straggling demons, atomising them. The show of raw, violent magic so finely controlled leaves Dante slightly breathless and he skitters his eyes away before he can go red again. His own Vergil isn't capable of such elaborate attacks just yet. Thankfully. Or Dante may just spend all the rest of his days perpetually mesmerized and unable to do anything else but watch.
"What are you doing now, Dante," the Vergil sighs after he teleports over to them. Because clearly walking is for losers.
"I'm not letting Nevan go if I have a chance to have her again. We can get another Cavaliere somewhen else."
"We can also get another Nevan somewhere else, Dante."
No. No no no. Don't remind older Dante of this fact. Stupid brother. Older Vergil grins at him through a side eye, clearly knowing exactly what he is doing and thinking himself very funny indeed.
The realisation actually derails him for a moment. Wow. Would you look at that. Dante's twin is capable of growing a funny bone. He's torn between appreciating this fact -thank god Verge can still have fun- and devastated -why does it gotta be on Dante's tab, huh-.
"Hah, fine, little me," his other self, proving himself to still be the nicer twin so score, grins again. "Give me Nevan and Cerberus and it's a deal. And don't make the same mistake as I did and sell the rest off. Not worth it. No, not even Agni and Rudra. Annoying pests but I still miss them."
Dante damn near throws the two Arms at him and then happily skips over and actually throws himself all over his brand new terrifically awesome Devil Arm. The demonic essence in the bike bucks under him, not quite content with the change in ownership but settles down soon enough when he simply rides it out and pushes it down with his own will. He wouldn't have been able to handle this one without the newly demonic boost of his awakening, but now it's not a problem. Nice.
Content with the world at large he hugs himself to the thing. He feels his own Vergil wandering over, the heady, curious brush of his magic. He has a glorious motorcycle and a glorious twin. What more could he possibly want.