Chapter Text
10:01am
Orion sound: SCOTTTTTTT!!
Scott smajor: OLIIIIIIIIII!!
Magic bangers: SCOTT COLOUR PAPI YOUR BACK :)
SmallishGod: oh hey Scott
Scott smajor: heya 👋
Listener: have fun with your issues? /j
Scott smajor: yeah so much fun /s
Scott smajor: soooo.. how long has it been?
Orion sound: since the author stopped writing? Like a year
Listener: since you left? Well lets says a couple of months
Scott smajor: ah so the readers are starved
Fwhop: yepp
Jealous joey: the who and the what?
Jealous joey: also hey lama boy
Listener:... joey
Orion sound: oh my joel HBGVFGCDCXVBHJNJKHBHGVCDFXS
Fwhop: wuh oh
Scott smajor: JOEY NOOSIHSHAHAHHS
Grian: damn we got two keyboard smashes there its not that funny guys
Goodtimeswithscar: grian youer laughin i can hear it form scarland
Grian: shhhhhhhh
Goodtimeswithscar: oh got it
Goodtimeswithscar: im lyign
Jealous joey: yes i just looked up how llama is spet
Scott smajor: spet
Orion sound: spet
Listener: pset
Grian:pset
SmallishGod: pset
Jealous joey: i hate you guys
Listener: I agree you guys suck
SmallishGod: now lets change the subject back to ‘magic bangers’
Magic bangers: Oh yeah Please thank you Thunder Daddy
Grian: you are a walking jumpscare to my PG rating sausage
Grian: and I thought scar was bad
Magic bangers: thank you :)
Grian: that was not a compliment
Magic bangers: ,’:0
Goodtimeswithscar: wait wy am i bad????? ,’:\
Orion sound: oh joel their learning
Listener: we are really bad at keeping a consistent chain of thought arent we.
Jealous joey: a fucking what
scott smajor: what is there to explain? Theres only two americans on this chat?
Listener: you know who
Magic bangers: yeah id like to know what a banger is!!
Orion sound: ur mum
Magic bangers: D:,’
Goodtimeswithscar: gusy what’s a bangr????
SmallishGod: bangers and mash
Grian: bangers and mash
Orion sound: bangers and mash
Orion sound: HBGVGVCFTVBCGF
Grian: that was scary
SmallishGod: lets never do that again
Orion sound: agreed
Grian: agreed
Grian: NO-
Orion sound: HBHGVGBGHVGV GHVGHVGFCFDXDRCG J
Listener: my joel today is a nightmare
Scott smajor: isn’t it always?
Listener: very true
Dadriffs: welcome back scott
Dadriffs: hope its as chaotic as you remember,
Orion sound: because the author did not realize the undiagnosed mental illness that is this fanfic
Jealous joey: the who and what
Orion sound: ;)
Jealous joey: what
Goodtimeswithscar: ; )
Jealous joey: what the heck?
Listener: ; )
Grian: the increasing distance of eyes to mouth with no nose is concerning
SmallishGod: ;-)
Scott Smajor: that is so much worst oh my god
SmallishGod: oh my what
Scott Smajor: oh my Joel*
Scott Smajor: been a while mb
Grian: why do you guys even feed his hubris?
Fwhop:... do we tell the lore?
Grian: lore???
Listener: this groupchat? Having lore? Well I neverrrrrr
Jealous Joey: I feel like I’m the least loreful person here, and thats saying something
Grian: its just because youre dramatic
Scott Smajor: damn we gotta get you some lore Joey, we have a three lore gods (?) plus joel on this server and you’re not traumatized??
Listener: wait yeah how tf have we not given him lore yet?
Orion sound: how did we manage to create a secondary character, we should be better than this
Orion sound: Daddy Pixl !!! traumatise that man !!!
Dadriffs: we are not doing anything of the sort.
SmallishGod: hold on plus joel??? What did i do?
Fwhop: hey that’s my saying
Scott Smajor: you literally harassed a god until it gave you some of your powers
SmallishGod: I did not harass it
Dadriffs: the spam emails telling me to kill you off says otherwise
Magic Bangers: the what :0
SmallishGod: the huh
Grian: does this “god” pay in cash or paypal
Magic bangers: huh
SmallishGod: WHATTT
Goodtimeswithscar: grain nO
Goodtimeswithscar: AHHHHH IM STUK IN CAPLCOK AGAIN GRIANNNNNNNNNN
Listener changed ‘goodtimeswithscar’s name to ‘CAPLOCKSCAR’
CAPLOCKSCAR: MARTNN NOOOHOOOOOOOO
Listener: tis now lore, unlucky scar unlucky tt’
Scott Smajor: bro did not just tt’
Listener: how about I kiss you huh, how about that? /nsx
Scott Smajor: /sx*
Grian: WOAH WOAH MY PG RATING CALM DOWN
Orion sound: Scott’s got more of a harem than jimmy
Fwhop: a WHAT?
Orion sound: figure of speech, not an actual harem
Magic bangers: ... unless...
Dadriffs: sometimes I wonder why I’m here
Scott smajor: you technically created yourself stop talking
Jealous Joey: what
Jealous joey: the
Jealous Joey: heck
Orion sound: oh my Thunder Daddy, colour papi comes back and now were getting all the lore
Grian: oh my God that’s where this whole conversation started from.
Listener: HA LMAOOO
Scott Smajor: how have we strayed so far...
Orion sound: WELCOME BACK SCOTTTTT : )
SmallishGod: well then,, Pix do you wanna explain
Orion sound: oh greatful god of lore and wisdom
Dadriffs: it is literally two PM, we have been talking for four hours now
Dadriffs: don’t you guys have empires to run?
Listener: nopp
Grian; nope
CAPSLOCKSCAR: NO
Orion sound: we require a lore tale Daddy Pixl
Dadriffs: I regret kids
Listener: as if you had a choice in the matter
Listener: so spill
Dadriffs: Sausage met a monotheistic God and didn’t like them so declared that ‘oh my god’ is now ‘oh my Joel/thunder daddy’ and we kinda just ran with it.
Listener: what?
SmallishGod: ya know? like philza and notch and minecraft
Grian: sorry but that sounds like a family getting involved in an neurodivergant childhyper fixation
Jealous joey: a whats what?
SmallishGod: illiterate pirate
Listener: illiterate much
SmallishGod: ...
SmallishGod: you are on thin fucking ice
Listener: oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it, weak god
Dadriffs: no.
Listener: but pix
SmallishGod: ha
Dadriffs: Joel.
SmallishGod: .. fiiine
Grian: jeez I now know why they call you Dadriffs
Listener: Dadriffs
SmallishGod: Dadriffs
Magic bangers: Dadriffs ;)
Scott Smajor: Dadriffs
Orion sound: dadriffs
Jealous Joey: dadriffs
CAPSLOCKSCAR: DADDRIFS
Scott Smajor: damn the whole groupchat
Dadriffs: I blame Lizzie for all of this.
Listener: dads tired guys
Dadriffs: if you need me, I’ll be in the catacombs.
Orion sound: I feel like this is the time I should get up
Grian: dude youre still IN BED ?!?!?!?!?
Grian: ...
Grian: damn left on read
Listener: unlucky
Grian: if I was not busy today it would be your head listener scum
Listener: *le gasp* okay then WATCHER
CAPLOCKSCAR: I took grains phon but he’s aftre u matyn
Scott Smajor: and then they were never heard of again...
Scott Smajor; welp gotta go to work, bai bais
Conversation with flower rancher:
Flower: so...
Flower: I went back onto the chat again
Rancher: the fanclub thing? Thats great scott!!
Rancher: how are you feeling
Flower: annoyed.
Rancher: how come? I wouldnt imagine anyone being rude to you there. They all seemed so nice when i met them
Flower: its not them that annoyed me. Its more myself
Flower: why am I having this crisis now? I was just fine knowing about it until sausage said it
Rancher: what ‘it’ are we talking. The ‘it’ or a different ‘it’
Flower: the it.
Flower: its just
Flower: like
Flower: how did you deal with it?
Rancher: i think for me it was different..
Rancher: i mean i was already dating when it happened
Rancher: but i felt terrible when i realised what i had felt
Rancher:... that... makes sense... ish, if yaknow what i mean
Flower: i get what you mean
Rancher: long story short// talking to jimmy about it is probably your best option
Flower: woah, kinda missed a couple of plot points there
Rancher: when has this fanfic ever had full plot points?
Flower: god you sound like martyn
Rancher: martyns on the chat?
Flower: yeah but not in that kinda way- i dont think
Rancher: so like in the same way grian is?
Flower: everyones jsut a fan of jimmy i guess
Rancher: that....... still doent answer the question
Flower: im leaving bow by
Rancher: you tired?
Flower: zzzzz
Rancher: now that is just mocking
Rancher: scott?
Rancher: oh you actually went to sleep, thats good
Rancher: ok when you see this message.. goodmorning? And also just try and not think about it, youve got your whole life to think about it. Theyre not going anywhere, i doubt
Rancher: im not making this any better am I?
Rancher: oh well
Rancher: andf i better get an invite to this fanclub!!! I am a jimmy fan!!! I am his soulmate still!!!
Rancher: goodnight scott!!
Conversation with Pixlriffs
Joey: do it
Pixlriffs: are you sure? Have you thought about it enough?
Joey: unlike Joel and Scott I don’t need months of thinking to know what to do with my feelings
Joey: please pix
Joey: it’s just kinda getting too much with how many people are there
Pixlriffs: ok ok im going, if you need to talk I’m here
Joey: lmao dadriffs
The jimmy fanclub:
9:13 pm
Jealous joey: lmao lore time
Jealous joey: see yous <3
Dadriffs kicked ‘jealous joey’ from the group
Orion sound: bro
Magic banger: brother
Fwhop: broski
Scar: bustr
SmallishGod: WHAT
Scott smajor: whore
Orion sound: well you two broke the chain didn’t u
Orion sound: wait sausage
Orion sound: permission to use a face
Magic bangers: Why do you need permission??? Yepps!
Orion sound: well I can’t be stealing ur brand now cam I?
Listener: didn’t you steal his identity? For you’re dog??
Listener: wow if the readers can remember that far into empires season two lore then they deserve a cookie. Its been years lol
SmallishGod: WHATT
Scott smajor: are we going to ignore joey’s leaving of the group?
Fwhop: ye now what are we on about identity fraud for as the sheriffs old deputy I should be one to know
Orion sound: nah uh I think someone’s taken over ur old reign
SmallishGod: old as in past of old as in ancient.. like martyn.
SmallishGod: mr, ‘old sheriff’
Listener: hahaha . Shut it :)
Dadriffs: i am going to leave this short for joeys sake
Dadriffs: he doesn’t like jimmy in a romantic sense and didn’t want to be in the club. His reasoning. Respect it.
Orion Sound: not the double full stopaoajnsjnhj
Fwhop: he finally got his lore
Dadriffs: now shush and go to bed, its late
Listener: its half 9???
Dadriffs: bedtime.
Magic bangers; that’s his way of saying ‘this chapters been postponed too long (a year and a half) better finish it with a bad ending’
Magic bangers: oh,,, that’s the bad ending