Chapter Text
Moonwhisper returned to RainClan with no issues, pressing her nose to Sunstar’s as a farewell. She took a deep breath, padding through into the main caverns. The camp was silent, eerily so. She turned as she heard paws padding towards her.
“Silvershadow,” Moonwhisper greeted. “Is she…?”
“She’s alive…for now,” Silvershadow said with weight. “She has at least one more life left. She wouldn’t tell me how many exactly when I asked,”
Moonwhisper let out a heavy sigh of relief. “Is she…herself?” She asked worriedly. “When I talked to her she was…out of it,”
“Yes,” Silvershadow answered. “For the most part, at least. She’s very sick, Moonwhisper. It’s taking a toll on every part of her. It’s almost like she’s becoming an elder, just at an unbelievable speed, with the way her body is shutting down,”
Moonwhisper went cold. “What?”
“Well, her eyes are starting to go, she’s thin and frail, she’s constantly complaining of aches and pains, and her memory is not all there,” Silvershadow shrugged.
“Silvershadow, what if that’s it?” Moonwhisper’s eyebrows drew together. “What if she’s just… aging too fast?”
“But…what would even cause something like that?” Silvershadow said, baffled.
“Maybe… maybe StarClan is displeased with us,” Moonwhisper’s heart felt heavy. Displeased with her, maybe. She was the one breaking the Warrior’s Code.
“Can StarClan do that? Just…change the rules of nature like that?” Silvershadow started pacing.
“You’re the medicine cat! How should I know?” Moonwhisper cried.
“I…need to think. Daisyear is meeting with me in the starcavern tonight. We’ll discuss it then,”
“Alright,” Moonwhisper nodded. “I’m going to check on Milkywhite,”
She padded off towards the empty den Milkywhite was quarantined to. “Milkywhite?” Moonwhisper called quietly. Inside, she could hear gentle, quiet sobbing. She rushed forward. “Milkywhite, what’s wrong?”
“Webkit,” her sister sniffled in between wailing. “He’s…he stopped moving. He stopped breathing. Moonwhisper, my baby, my kit, my darling kit, he’s dead!” She let out a shriek of woe, and Moonwhisper could feel her body trembling. “I tried--” she gasped. “I tried to be a good mother-- I just woke up and he was-- oh, Moonwhisper, what am I going to do?” she bawled.
Moonwhisper was frozen. No, no! Webkit was supposed to live! He was supposed to become her apprentice, he was supposed to survive!
“Oh, Milkywhite, I…” What could she say? What could she do? She padded forward, nudging the tiny kit with her nose. He was deathly still. Next to him, his siblings’ breath was faint. Her heart pounded in her chest. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. This was her nephew, for StarClan’s sake!
StarClan… how could StarClan have let this happen? Why punish Milkywhite, when Moonwhisper was the traitor? She felt weak, and her legs started to tremble.
No, she thought fiercly. I have to stay strong.
“Silvershadow!” she yowled, almost begging the medicine cat to come, to save this poor kit’s life. Frantic pawsteps ran up to the den, and the silver tabby shoved past Moonwhisper. Milkywhite was still sobbing.
“He’s not breathing,” Moonwhisper said, voice trembling. “Webkit,”
“Bearpaw!” Silvershadow shouted over his shoulder. “I need coltsfoot!” he ordered the young apprentice.
“Can you save him?” Moonwhisper asked frantically.
“I don’t know,” Silvershadow snapped. “Give me space, will you?” he told her, and she could hear him patting the tiny kit’s back with his paws, rubbing his chest, trying to get him to breathe again.
Bearpaw ran back up to the entrance and set a bundle of herbs next to the wall. “Here,” he panted, sounding distressed. He hadn’t been a medicine cat apprentice for very long.
Silvershadow took the herbs into his mouth and chewed carefully, creating a mushy pulp out of the coltsfoot. He gently opened Webkit’s mouth, feeding him some of the mixture. Then, he closed the kit’s mouth and massaged his throat, trying to get him to swallow. Moonwhisper heard him groan.
“He’s not swallowing!” Silvershadow cried.
“My baby,” Milkywhite wailed. “My baby, my darling, he’s dead, he’s dead!”
“Come on, little one, please!” Silvershadow urged, trying again. He repeated the motions from before, but the tiny kit did not move. “He’s so cold… Milkywhite, I’m so sorry.”
Moonwhisper felt like the RainClan cavern camp had just collapsed. “What? No, no, you were supposed to save him! What good are you if you can’t save my sister’s kit?” she demanded. “He can’t die! He can’t!”
“Moonwhisper, I’m sorry, but--” Silvershadow started, resigned.
“It’s not fair! It’s not! First Miststar, now Webkit! And it’s all my fault!” Moonwhisper despaired. By now, Milkywhite was sobbing, heaving giant, gasping, desperate breaths.
Silvershadow picked up the remaining coltsfoot, gave it to Bearpaw, and picked up Webkit’s tiny body. He brushed up against the dark brown cat, leading him out of the den. “Come on,” he told his apprentice. “Let’s give them some space.”
Moonwhisper suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her paws suddenly weren’t strong enough to hold her up. She crumpled to the ground, breathing in short, quick bursts. It felt like water was rising up around her. Couldn’t breathe. She was going to drown. She and Milkywhite were going to sink to the bottom of this ocean forever.
Milkywhite…
Moonwhisper took a deep, long breath, straining to hear past the water. Her sister was sobbing. Her littermate. Somewhere in the deeper caverns, water dripped down a stalactite. In front of the nursery, Fuzzkit and Dripkit chased around a ball of spanish moss. Another deep breath. Slowly, she rose to her paws, blinking away the tears.
“Milkywhite,” she said gently. Her sister kept sobbing. “Milkywhite,” Moonwhisper said again, firmer this time, but still gentle. “Milkywhite, I’m sorry. I know it hurts. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I can imagine,” she sat down next to her littermate, leaning against her heaving sides. “I almost lost Miststar. She was like a mother to me,”
Milkywhite sniffled, her voice shaking. “He’s dead, Moony. My baby is dead. I failed,”
“You didn’t fail,” Moonwhisper said, grooming her sister’s fur. “Pebblekit and Specklekit are still alive. They need their mother,”
“But I’m a horrible mother!” Milkywhite wailed. “I should ask Fernpool to take them,” she sniffed.
“No, Milkywhite,” Moonwhisper sighed. “You can do this. I know you can. You wanted this so bad, don’t just give it up. This wasn’t your fault,”
Milkywhite was silent. Moonwhisper listened as she curled around her two living kits, who were awake now, squirming and coughing. Milkywhite gently groomed their fur, slowing her breathing.
“There, there, little ones,” she murmured. “It’s alright. Mother’s here,” she said, though there was a hint of sadness in her voice. “You’re okay,” she told them. “You’ll be okay,”
Moonwhisper sat up. “You sound a lot better,” she commented, curling her tail around her front paws. “Do you feel any better?”
Milkywhite lifted her head. “I suppose,” She sniffed. “I just…wish…” she trailed off.
“I know,” Moonwhisper bent down and gently licked the top of her head. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Milkywhite sighed heavily. She paused, then, “Oh, who am I kidding. No, it’s not,”
“That’s okay,” Moonwhisper said. What else could she say? “You’re allowed to be upset,”
“I know,” Milkywhite picked at the stone floor with her claws. “I don’t know what to do,”
Moonwhisper was an apprentice again, and she was trying desperately to get better at fighting. I don’t know what to do, she despaired. She hung her head. I’m never going to get it. Miststar pressed her cold nose to Moonwhisper’s forehead. Just try, she said. Then, she said
“You do the only thing you can do. You keep going,” Moonwhisper said. Milkywhite looked up.
“How?” Milkywhite said. “How do I keep going after this?”
Moonwhisper frowned. Her tail swished behind her. “Just… take little steps, I guess. You already took one,” she pointed out. “You helped your kits,”
“Mm,” Milkywhite said.
“I’m serious! You didn’t give up! If you did, you would’ve let them cry, and then who knows what would’ve happened?” Moonwhisper insisted. Milkywhite giggled wetly.
“You’re good at this, you know,” she said. Moonwhisper tilted her head.
“Good at what?”
“Encouragement. That’s the sign of a good leader,” Milkywhite’s voice was smiling. She curled her fluffy tail around her kits.
“I… guess,” Moonwhisper hesitated, blushing. “I’m not a leader yet,” she pointed out.
“But you’ll be a great one,” Milkywhite beamed, the kind of light that was so blinding even Moonwhisper could see it, almost.
“Well… yeah, alright,” Moonwhisper resigned. “I guess I will,”
“There you go!” Milkywhite meowed happily. “You’re not giving up, either!”
Moonwhisper giggled, then sighed happily, laying down and curling around her sister and her kits. “I love you, Milky,” she said contently.
“Love you to the moon and back, Moony,” Milkywhite replied, her voice drowsy and soft. Soon, the cave den was quiet, and the only sound to be heard was the steady breathing of four sisters-- Milkywhite and Moonwhisper, and Pebblekit and Specklekit.