Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was days like these that made Toni wonder who would be the first person to kill her from stress. If she had known there would be so many contestants to that particular achievement, she’d have thought more carefully about her life choices.

Right now, by far, Erika was skyrocketing in the charts, threatening to make Toni’s pressure go through the roof. One of these days, she would end up killing her: she was just not equipped to deal with Erika. Loki had been a predicted, familiar hazard – Toni had known very well where she was getting into. Pepper had been a considerably bigger surprise, but even then, the girl hadn’t walked in expecting peace and tranquility. 

Erika, though? Erika had been completely unexpected, a new variable Toni hadn’t predicted. And she could be absolutely infuriating.

“Listen, I get what you mean,” she said on the phone, pressing it between her left shoulder and her ear while she walked briskly and tried finishing her email to Pepper without zooning out and running into a lamp post. “But I really don’t see what you want me to do about it.”

“We need more help, Stark. It isn’t that complicated.” replied Erika’s voice, a familiar German accent and a remarkably dry irony. “Everyone old enough to be useful is living at Shield. Send someone over.”

“You two don’t have that many rookies.” insisted Toni, stopping briefly to check the street before crossing. “Isn’t Raven helping out?”

“Raven is a rookie.” replied the older girl, sounding like she thought the brunette was a complete idiot. “I don’t know where you get the idea me and Charlie are baby-sitters, Stark, but we are not. If you push one more godforsaken kid into this house…”

“I thought you liked kids!” protested Toni, changing her bags from one hand to another.  She hated when Happy took his days out on her turn to go shopping. She suspected he did it on purpose – he was being influenced by his new evil girlfriend. She just knew it. “And most of them aren’t that even young, anyway. I mean, what’s the medium age over there? Above thirteen? Raven is thirteen and you like her.”

“Charlie likes kids. She was the one who had this blasted idea of training new contractees to begin with.” disagreed Erika, terribly bad tempered, and, of course, lying through her teeth. “And Raven is my sister-in-law. I have to like her.”

Toni rolled her eyes. She wondered who Erika thought she was putting this façade for – no one was fooled in the least, except, maybe, for the newcomers. For about the first three months. “Yeah, okay, whatever.” she sighed, scrolling down her mail to make sure she’d sent Pepper everything she’d been meaning to. The woman was an evil genius. Using Happy to force her to work. Plain. Evil. “Fine, if it’ll take you off my back, I’ll ask Piper if she minds.”

“No.”

“What?”

“No.” repeated Erika, and the amount of murderous intent she managed to put in a single syllable would never cease to impress the younger girl. “It’s almost cute you think you can push Parker on me, Stark. Try again.”

Toni groaned, pulling her shades down as the sun reappeared in all its hellish glory from behind the clouds. “I don’t fucking know, Lehnsherr, who do you want? Loki?”

“So I can get yet another seven year old trailing on her ankles?” deadpanned the woman, as if the prospect was no more appealing than putting leeches on her legs. “Thank you, but no.”

“Your loss.” muttered the girl, trying to jiggle the groceries for long enough to tie her hair. Yuma might be seven, but she was talented, and they never got lost with her around, bless her magical orientation powers. “Who, them?”

“I want Samantha.” replied Erika, and Toni could picture her as the words rolled through the phone: she would probably be leaning on hers and Charlies’ pristine clean kitchen counter, wearing fitting jeans and a tasteful, very expensive long-sleeved shirt, even though it was hot like the souls of the damned outside.

If nothing else could be said for her, at least Erika was, for sure, one classy motherfucker. And she was gorgeous, even if you factored in her terrible attitude problem. Toni would bet half her fortune Charlie had some sort of bad girl fetish. “Sam? Sam Wilson? Really?” replied the girl, frowning, trying to step around a cluster of slow people. “You two ever had a conversation that lasted for more than five minutes?”

“She’s competent, over eighteen, and doesn’t talk all the time.”explained the woman, in the most suave voice a human being could hope to produce. So Toni would be lying if she said it wasn’t sexy, but Erika didn’t need to know it.

“What does Charlie have to say about it?” asked the girl, instead, wondering why she wasn’t the one calling in the first place. Everyone who’d ever met the two of them knew nothing got done if they were left responsible for it.

There was a two-second delay before Erika answered. “Charlie likes everyone. It won’t be an issue.”

“Ohhhhh, boy.” whistled Toni, opening a large and malicious smile. “You didn’t talk to her about this, did you?”

“Stark…” warned the older girl, ominously, but the brunette was grinning evilly at herself.

“You are going behind her back? Erika Lehnsherr, you’re so screwed, and it’s not even in the good sense!” she sidestepped to avoid an incoming biker, terribly satisfied with herself. “Did you two had a fight or what?”

“I fail to see how that’s any of your business.” growled Erika, threateningly, but Toni only laughed.

“Are you kidding me? It’s everyone’s business when you and Charlie have a fight.” she complained, meaning every last word of it. “You two start acting like a pair of seven year olds in a pouting fight, arguing over who’s is the last cookie. Which is, in fact, really annoying to the   actual seven year olds who live with you. And where do you think Raven goes to nag about it? Yeah, you got it – my house.”

“I would be more careful with your babbling if I were you, Stark.” whispered the woman, very politely and nonchalant. “You shouldn’t forget you have a large piece of metal jammed right above your heart.”

Toni rolled her eyes. “Yes, you might want to reconsider the whole threatening my life thing, Lehnsherr, because…”

She turned a corner and stopped dead in her tracks.

“Stark?” called Erika, suspiciously, when the silence stretched for too long. “Stark? Are you listening to me?”

“I’ll call you back.” replied Toni, and turned her cell off before the woman could reply.

There was a moving truck parked right ahead of her, its back open showing a somewhat meager collection of boxes, a single bed and what seemed to be a humongous painting. There was a young woman trying to unload a box bigger than her, looking slightly frightened, and dragging her feet every step of the way. A blond man was standing on the sidewalk, leaning worriedly towards her, and trying to gently pry the box from her fingers.

“Seriously, dad.” she complained, yanking it away from him. “I can carry it. I walked down a runway with heels longer than your neck wearing stuff heavier than this.”

“And your mother nearly cut the blood to my fingers watching you do that.” replied the man, stern blue eyes and a worried press of lips. “Nathan will kill you if you drop that.”

“I’d like to see him try.” she scoffed, waving him away. “I got it, dad, would you please chill?”

“I swear you are the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.” he sighed, still hovering around her protectively. “You get it from your mother.”

The young woman laughed, putting the box down and straightening up, waking fully into Toni’s line of sight. She had short brown hair tied up in a ponytail, golden reflexes faintly showing through. Tanned skin, rich brown eyes, an easy laugh that made her shoulders shake. And she was dressed in running pants that the girl recognized, because she’d accidentally spilled mustard on them in one of those early timelines before Stephanie began to mistrust her.

Jean straightened her tank top where it had come up, then rolled her eyes at her father, affectionate and ironic. “Daddy,” she said, amused, climbing back on the truck. “I’m adopted, remember?”

“So?” replied Joseph, twisting his eyebrow in a way that made his resemblance to Stephanie become parallel-universe worthy. “You really think Sarah could’ve raised you all this years and her stubbornness wouldn’t have rubbed off on you?”

“You let her hear you” teased Jean, smiling at him as he picked the box she’d put down on the sidewalk, “and you’ll be sleeping in the couch until your back cracks.”

Her father smiled back at her, conspiratorially, yanking the box up with his knee. “Well,” he mused, winking discreetly. “Captain America isn’t about to bail on me, I think.”

“Maybe,” conceded Jean, stretching her arms behind her back. “But, on the other hand, Jean Rogers doesn’t lie to her mom, so…”

Joseph laughed, looking at her warmly and starting towards the nearest building. “I’ll go see if they had any luck with that bed. Will you give Quinn a call and ask her if she needs a ride?”

“Sure.” agreed the woman, easily, jumping to the ground and going around the truck, towards the cabin, her upper body disappearing inside for a few moments.

Toni took a step back. Two. Three.

She turned around and walked back to where she’d come from, disappearing behind a corner and pressing against the wall, her heart palpitating painfully in her chest, her knuckles going white from clutching the bags too tightly.

Of course she already knew about Jean. Checking on them had been the first thing she’d done when her brain began working right. She had kept herself updated, followed their trails, made sure they were all doing okay. Of course she had known about them.

But actually seeing them was a whole other bag of cats.

Toni took a deep breath, self-consciously touching the blue ribbon messily tied around her ponytail. Then, she called a taxi. Someone else could put away the groceries.

When she finally came back, Jean was still stubbornly trying to carry boxes that were too heavy for her, cursing under her breath and eyeing the wooden ramp suspiciously. She had just put a foot on it, tentatively, when the weight in her arms subdued, and the planks cranked at the added pressure of another person stepping on it. “Do you need any help with that?”

The woman stared at Toni, half-surprise, half-confusion coloring her features. She changed her grip on the box, bringing it closer to her, considering the offer. “And you are…?”

Toni smiled, not quite her Stark Winning Smile, because she knew perfectly well how poorly that worked on the Rogers Family. “I’m Toni,” she replied, simply, waving briefly with one hand, even though the box wasn’t heavy to her at all. “You looked like you could use some help.”

Jean shrugged, apparently content with that explanation. “Well, thanks, I guess.” she replied, letting half the weight rest on her hands again. “Let’s put it over there, right? Next to… no, not that one, that other one next to the… yeah, right. Thanks.”

They put the box down and Jean let out a long puff of air, rolling her shoulders and offering Toni her hand. “I’m Jean. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” answered Toni, even though a million other questions were reeling in her mind. When did you cut your hair? How are things going with that horrid boss of yours? Are you and Nat still acting like two teens in a bad YA novel? Are you happier now than before? Do you miss her? Do you remember her?

Do you remember me?

Toni cleaned her throat, putting her hands on the small of her back, a quirk that had stayed after her injuries healed. “So, are you moving in with your family?” she asked, casually, trying not to sound too interested.

“No,” denied Jean, walking back to the trunk and looking mildly surprised when the girl followed. “It’s me, my boyfriend, and a friend of ours. And our friend’s terrible taste in art.” she added, side-eyeing the big painting as if it had personally offended her.

Toni remembered that painting.

Jean had nagged Brenna about it ever since she’d bought it, complaining it completely ruined the house’s décor and that it was ridiculously big and that it gave her nightmares. Brenna had put up with the whining for about three days, at which point she had turned to Jean and very, very pleasantly, with a mild smile on her face, told her if she ever mentioned the painting ever again, she’d pull her guts out in her sleep using a plastic spoon and a lot of patience.

Afterwards, Stephanie had told Toni, in secret and laughing until she was crying, that Jean had slept in her bed that night, something none of the two blamed her for.

Toni smiled. “I know something about annoying roommates.” she agreed, thinking of the last fight that had erupted back at home, something involving wet towels and someone being “a great big bag of dicks”.

Jean smiled at her, bending to grab one of the smaller boxes. “You really sure you want to help?” she asked, dubiously, measuring Toni up. “There isn’t a lot of heavy stuff anymore, and anyway my dad is helping us out.” Her eyes took on a more light-hearted glint. “At your age, the last thing I would’ve wanted was to get stuck helping someone move in this heat.”

Toni chuckled too, wondering how far could she tell her the truth. “Honestly?” she finally asked, raising one eyebrow, and Jean stared expectantly. “The truth is, you remind me of my girlfriend. And stopping to help people unload their moving trucks is just something she would do.”

The argument softened Jean over immediately. Toni saw her postured changing, her eyes losing the lingering mistrust, and her smile becoming a bit more warmer. “Is that so? Well, who am I to argue against true love, right?” asked the woman, handing her the box she’d been holding, then turning back to grab another one. “So what’s her name?”

“Stephanie.” replied Toni, watching her carefully, checking for a reaction. Jean didn’t seem to think anything of it, though – she balanced a few small items against her hip and walked out again, in a good mood.

“Stephanie, huh?” asked the woman, chuckling to herself. “Kind of an unusual name . I don’t think I ever met any Stephanie. She sounds pretty nice.” tossing a smile over her shoulder, Jean put her stuff down, letting her hands hover for a moment to make sure nothing would topple over. “Is she rooming with you, too, or does she live with her parents?”

“Actually,” answered Toni, glancing at the door to see if Mr. Roger was coming back. “She moved away half an year ago. Long distance relationship.” the girl sighed dramatically, putting her stuff down, too. “It sucks.”

Jean flinched empathetically, groaning to show support. After they’d finished unloading the truck, Brenna walked outside with a couple of sodas, her sleeves rolled to her elbows, her bare legs covered with freckles and a brand new pair of glasses resting on her nose. “Brett, Nat and your father are still arguing because of that bed.” she told Jean, hopping on the back of the truck to handle them over. “Didn’t we tell them it wouldn’t fit?”

“Let the men play once in a while.” replied the woman, smiling impishly. “Once Philly gets here she’ll make them work for real.”

“Is Philly getting here?” asked Brenna, taking her glasses off to wipe them. “I thought she was completely buried in paperwork.”

Jean snorted, rolling her eyes. “Only because she and Quinn still think they are in their honeymoon. Seriously, they’ve been living together for how long now? I didn’t think the newly-wed fever would hit them that hard.” She laughed, relaxed, leaning back on her hands. “They couldn’t wait to kick us out.”

“Haven’t you been freeloading around Philly’s for as long as she’s had the house?” questioned Brenna, innocently, and the older girl blushed.

“I wasn’t freeloading! I totally helped with the bills.” protested the woman, heartily, but Brenna was already chuckling, waving a hand at her.

“I know that, Cap.” She reassured, kissing her cheek and standing up. “Let me get back inside before one of them knocks down another fire extinguisher.”

“Another?” repeated Jean, groaning and rolling her eyes theatrically. “The hell was Nathan doing? Last time I checked, he was actually pretty competent.”

Brenna pressed her lips as if she was holding back laughter. “He caught it before it hit the ground.”

Jean’s eyebrows shot up in her forehead upon hearing this. She smiled, humming approvingly into her drink and Brenna chuckled, turning towards Toni before she left: “Stick around a bit more, ‘kay?” invited the girl, friendly, smiling at her. “Quinn is almost here, and she’s bringing take-out. You could have dinner with us: it’s the least we could do.”

“Sure. Sounds awesome.” Agreed Toni, smiling back and hoping Quinn was bringing pizza. Brenna nodded, warm and friendly, before starting back into the house.

Next to her, Jean stretched leisurely, laying down on the floor with a happy sigh. “God, I’m beat.” she groaned, tiredly, rubbing her eyes.

Toni smiled, crossing her legs and leaning her elbows on her knees. The first time Stephanie had invited her over, she’d been sure they’d all hate her and the entire night would be a long stretch of uncomfortable glares and awkward questions. She hadn’t told any of that to her friend. However, as soon as she stepped through the door, she’d overheard Brenna on the phone, discussing radiation with a classmate, and Quinn had come down wrapped in her towel, demanding to know who was the evil torturer who had put the thermostat into “Summer” again and why did they hate her so much.

Stephanie had only smiled at her, knowingly.

“Say, can I ask you something?” inquired the girl, turning to look at Jean. Her arms were crossed behind her head, and her eyes were closed, but she hummed in agreement. “Why do people keep calling you ‘Cap’?”

Jean laughed, a soft chuckle, a small smile and an ironic roll of eyes. “Oh, that.” She mused, dismissively, turning her head to look at her. “I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid. I think she was supposed to be a super heroine, except she was also a fairy? Something like that.” The woman laughed again, gazing nostalgically at the ceiling. “Anyway, I named her Captain America.”

“And I can’t even remember why I came up with that name.” murmured Jean, her eyes travelling far away, her voice full of yearning. The light was catching in her hair, shiny reflections, and a hazy heat settled over them like a mist. “But she helped me through some rough times, and I guess I held on to her longer than most kids do. My parents though it was cute, I think, so the nickname kind of stuck.”

Jean sighed deeply, letting her eyelids drop and lowering her voice. “I miss her sometimes.” she confessed, sleepily, almost to herself.

I miss her, too, thought Toni, closing her eyes when a breeze hit her, messing with her hair. She had forgotten how troublesome long hair could be. Days when it was this hot, the girl felt the urge to cut it short the way it had been before.

But maybe not as short. Maybe shoulder-length: that would be just about perfect.

“Hey,” called out Jean, sitting up suddenly and smiling at her. “I hadn’t noticed it before, but that ribbon you’re wearing is pretty cute.”

“Ahm?” blinked Toni, her hand going to her ponytail automatically. “Oh, this.” She smiled, letting it run through her fingers, the fabric still soft and familiar. “My girlfriend gave me it to me, actually. I think it probably suited her better.” she shrugged, letting her hand fall. “Her eyes were lighter.”

“It looks great on you.” Disagreed Jean, leaning backwards to examine it from all angles. “Gives a nice contrast. She’s got good taste. Not many girls wear ribbons anymore, and I think it’s a real pity.”

Toni hesitated, twisting one end of it around her fingers, biting her lips. Stephanie had had that ribbon for as long as they’d known each other, and the girl had never thought much of it, never wondered where she’d got it – but now it seemed pretty obvious. “Would you like to have it?” asked the girl, hesitantly, getting ready to pull it off.

“Who? Me?” Jean laughed, shaking her head and weaving her hand dismissively. “Nah, the color doesn’t match me the way it does you. Besides, I think  I’m already a bit too old.” She stretched again, sunlight in her eyes, and a smile playing at her lips. “You know, I think that if I had a little sister, that’d probably be the kind of thing I’d give her.”

Toni smiled back, letting her hand fall again. Erika would nag her into early grave when she finally got back to Shield, not to mention Rhodey, Peggy and Sam, who all thought they were the only responsible adults around (which they were), but right now, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

And Quinn did not disappoint – she really did bring pizza.

.

.

.

There was someone trying to wake her up.

She had gone to bed at what felt like two minutes before, and someone was trying to wake her up. Insistently. By talking to her and pulling her covers away and just being generally annoying.

Why did the universe hate her so?

And she’d been having such a nice dream, too. Something about Jean, when they had first met in the new timeline. It was weird how Toni got these dreams when she was anxious, reliving old memories again. Maybe if she just ignored her, Yuma would give up and let her go back to sleep.

But even when Toni turned away from her, the girl just kept on talking.

“…for a while, and I’m getting worried. Could you go and see if she’s all right? Toni? Toni?” Yuma frowned, something she rarely did, because it usually made her look cute instead of angry, which made her more angry, by which time the argument was a lost cause. She reached forward and shook the girl’s shoulder, shuffling closer. “Toni! Are you listening to me?”

Toni groaned, turning on her stomach and burying her head on the pillow, mumbling a grumpy “Go to sleep.” before yanking her covers over her head.

Yuma pushed them back, stubbornly, almost dropping them off the bed. “Toni! I’m talking to you!” complained the younger girl, tugging at her pillow insistently, talking in hushed tones. “Would you please wake up?”

Toni groaned again, stifling a long yawn and cracking an eye open. “It’s the middle of the night, Yuma.” she chastised, her brain only half-wake. “It can wait. Go back to sleep.”

The girl blushed from annoyance – she was half-Japanese and half-Irish, and while being the spitting image of her mother, with black, straight hair, a small nose and a roundish face, her freckles and blushing problem were all from her father’s side. “It can’t wait. Didn’t you hear anything I just said?”

“Hummmm.” replied Toni, already drifting back to sleep. Yuma shook her again, harder.

“Toni.” she called out, annoyed, but keeping her voice down. “Loki’s not here.”

“WH—“ the younger girl shoved her hand against her mouth, putting a finger to her lips and “shhhhhhhhhh!”-ing angrily. Toni kicked at the covers and turned around to look behind her.

Piper was sleeping soundly, sprawled on their double bed, her back to the door, her cheek nested against Bitteline’s fur. The cat was sitting in her paws on Loki’s pillow, that way that made cats look like a loaf of bread, staring steadily back at her. It had been only a few weeks ever since Bibi began letting Piper this close to her, but that didn’t seem to affect her general behavior – she still looked as if she was plotting the best way to blind her should Toni annoy her too much.

Loki’s side of the bed was empty, her covers hastily thrown over Piper’s legs, and her slippers missing. Toni sighed, falling back on the mattress and running a hand over her eyes. “Where is she?” murmured the girl, exasperatedly, looking at Yuma.

The smaller girl was sitting with her back to the headboard, wearing her blue-and-purple Sullivan pajamas, complete with little horns, that her parents had given her just before they’d died. She had begun to outgrown it – soon it wouldn’t fit at all. But then again, who was she to talk about holding on to things? “I told you.” replied Yuma, whispering. “She got up half an hour ago and said she was going for a walk. I asked to come along, but she told me she wanted to be alone.”

They looked at each other and rolled her eyes in synchrony. Loki sucked at being along. Leaving her be for too long when she got that way meant she began moping and sulking and growing generally sorry for herself. Someone had to go after her. “Why didn’t you follow, anyway?” asked Toni, yawning deeply.

“You know she won’t talk to me about Tora.” replied Yuma, somewhat sadly. She had followed Loki around like a little duckling for a couple of weeks after they met, her hand fisted on her shirt at all times, as if she was scared the older girl would die were she to let go. She had gotten better, but the sense of protectiveness never really faded away.

Toni sighed, rubbing her eyes and getting up before she could fall asleep again. Better not to think about it too much – whenever she thought about Yuma, about seeing her small figure hiding behind Loki’s and Piper’s skirts when she’d approached them, Toni’s heart squeezed with tightly-compressed fear.

She had never met Yuma in any of the previous timelines. Of course, that could mean her parents had never been attacked in any of them. Or, it could’ve meant Loki had never been there to save her before. “All right, I’ll go.” she sighed, stretching and feeling for her snickers. “Go back to sleep.” she added, softer, just as Fenrir jumped into their bed, stealing her place. “See? Even the dog knows you should be sleeping.”

Yuma chuckled, her expression becoming more naturally childish again. Toni pulled the covers back and the girl snuggled inside, letting Fenrir rest his head against her hip. She was sleeping again in less than a minute, so the older girl tiptoed around Piper’s bed and closed the door quietly.

She went down using the stairs, yawning the entire time and rubbing her face to push the sleep away. She just couldn’t function without coffee, it seemed. Ugh, this was such a terrible idea, letting Toni talk to other people about feelings, as if she had a clue. And why in the middle of the night. Just why.

Loki was exactly where Toni had thought she’d be, sitting at the edge of the pool, her pajama pants rolled up to her knees and her feet in the water. The green watery light was dancing on her face, reflecting on her hair, messily tied in a knot – she was leaning against the steps, her cheek squished against the curve on an arm, a faraway look in her eyes.

“You know,” called out Toni, walking towards her, “at two in the morning, I’m pretty sure the pool is supposed to be closed.”

Loki raised her head, turning around to look at her. A look of slight surprise crossed her eyes before she covered it up, smiling mischievously instead. She straightened up, leaning away from the steps. “I’m pretty sure the hotel’s security systems aren’t very keen on magic.” she replied, batting her eyelashes innocently.

Toni chuckled, shrugging off her snickers and sitting next to her cross legged, yawning again. “Did you remember the surveillance cameras?”

Loki rolled her eyes impatiently, flapping her legs under the water leisurely. “Of course I did. Who do you think I am? An amateur?” she shook her head dramatically to reinforce her point.

The older girl snorted fondly, tapping her fingers against her chest – the habit had never really gone away, even when she stopped wearing the Arc Reactor full time. They stayed silent for a couple more minutes, Toni waiting for her brain to accept she wasn’t going to bed any time soon and Loki watching the water, leaning back on her hands.

“Having second thoughts?” finally asked Toni, carefully keeping her voice casual.

Loki sighed, resting her elbows on her knees, her face on one hand, and looking up at her. “Why do you ask?”

The girl shrugged, pushing her hair out of her face, thanking God they were already over the phase where she would have gotten a “fuck off” as an answer. “Well, we can always backtrack, if you don’t want to do it anymore.” she remarked, easily. “At least then I wouldn’t have to put up with Yuma giving tearful calls to Peggy every five minutes to ask about Penelope.”

“Vanellope.” corrected Loki, automatically. “And Totoro.”

“Whatever, to ask about her chinchillas.” mumbled Toni, shortly. She didn’t like chinchillas, but she’d learned the hard way not to mention that in front of Yuma. “My point is: we can just go back if you want to. No big deal.”

The younger girl stared at her silently. It made her feel like an idiot, but these days, Toni couldn’t stop thinking that Loki had really shot up ever since they’d met. She was already beginning to grow past her.

Loki looked away, shaking her head slowly, considering. “No.” she replied, softly, and they had known each other for long enough to know when the other was lying, so they didn’t even bother anymore. “No, I haven’t changed my mind. I have to talk to them.”

Toni changed positions, trying to get more comfortable on the cold floor. “Then why all the…” she moved her hand in a circular motion, encompassing the whole room. “…stuff?”

The younger girl scoffed at her choice of words, and leaned back against the steps again. “Just because I have to, doesn’t mean I want to.” she explained, looking at the water thoughtfully. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t want  to, either, but…” she bit her lips. “It’s been four years.”

Toni considered it, examining her face carefully. “What made you want to come here?” she finally asked, softly, something she hadn’t dared doing up until now.

Loki’s eyelids fluttered, a quick, stolen glance at her face, before her gaze locked on the pool again. Her body language was more guarded now, the way she got when she didn’t want to talk about it. “My bio-dad’s wife is pregnant.”

Toni’s mind blanked for half a minute before she caught on to what the girl meant. “Oh,” she breathed, blinking rapidly. “You mean… Laufeyson? He’s having a kid?” she shook her head, trying to get over the surprise. “So… you gonna get a new sibling?”

“Well… no.” replied Loki, finally looking back at her directly. “Bjorn isn’t really… that’s the point, Toni. The whole reason why I came to New York…” she stopped, biting her lips again, her fingers playing with her pajamas. She seemed to be thinking really hard.

“When I found out I was adopted…” she tried again, each word coming out slowly and nearly painfully. “I had just contracted with Sammy, and I… that is a problem everyone has, you understand, is this… how do you know who you are? How do you know what’s the disease, and what’s you? Is there any difference?” Loki’s eyes were sharp and hot, and her breath had quickened. “I didn’t know. Not anymore. I’d had this thing my entire life, and then I didn’t have it anymore, and I couldn’t even recognize myself.”

“So when I figured out – you know, because I could actually think straight for once,” added Loki, rolling her eyes irritably. “That I was adopted…” she relapsed into silence again, pushing her knees to her chest, something she hadn’t done in a long time now.

Toni didn’t say anything. She wasn’t really sure when exactly she’d learned to shut up – but she knew it worked better with the girl. She knew how Loki had figured it out. Old enough to start noticing things, exceptionally smart for her age, with a newly functioning brain. Her father had light brown hair, and her mother was blonde: how come hers was black? Had she ever seen pictures of Elin’s pregnancy?

Her adoption papers had been filed next to Tora’s birth records.

Loki closed her eyes for a second before going on. “I went to New York to meet my biological mother,” she explained, carefully, “because I thought it would give me a clue about who I was.”

Toni let go of a long breath, feeling her body tingling. Sometimes, all of this still scared the shit out of her, as if she was one step away from tumbling into an abysm. She untied Steph’s ribbon from her hair and began playing with it, winding and unwinding it around her pinky. “But you never actually met her.” she pointed out, quietly.

Loki’s bio-mom, Liss-Hege, had been living at NY around the time the girl had contracted and then run away. She was a publicist whose skyrocketing career had granted her a two year internship at a big sports equipment company. Loki had come to meet her, met Piper on the way, then Yuma, then Toni and Shield, and when Liss had finally moved back home, pocketing a brand-new promotion, Loki still hadn’t got around to introducing herself.

“I didn’t have to.” replied the younger girl, shrugging, seeming to relax again now that the worst part of the truth was out. “Other things happened in the way. I met some other people. And I didn’t… I never needed them to know who I am, Toni.” explained Loki, raising her eyes, iron and water and emeralds in them. “I figured it out by myself.”

Toni smiled. “Yeah? And what’s that?” she questioned, poking her in the ribs. “Cause to me you seem the same old annoying prat you’ve always been.”

“Go to hell.” retorted the younger girl, grinning at her. She twisted, making a face when the mental handle of the steps bit into her back, then sat more comfortably. “I’m a Magical Girl. That’s who I am right now. And a load of other things. And also, specially…” she put her hair behind her ear, pushing it away from her face. “I am my parent’s daughter.  But I don’t mean Liss and Bjorn, they are not my real parents. I still want to meet them, figure some things out, but my real family…” Loki’s eyelids dropped, something like guilty and pain and sharp longing crossing her face. “It’s probably time I woman up and face them.”

Toni tilted her head, wincing empathetically: her accident had happened a few months before Loki had run away from home. She’d never get the chance to tell her father just where he could shove it, but between Pepper and Happy, she’d been sufficiently yelled at over the past three years. The first time Happy had accidentally called her “young lady” Toni had begun laughing so badly she’d snorted. “So what about this new kid?”

The expression in Loki’s eyes gave her away with glaring clarity. Of course Toni already knew that about her – after all, Loki was the one who picked up strays. That’s what she did. She picked up the ones who were left behind, smothered them with attention, patched them up and set them back on their feet, then dissolved into a pool of dazzled sappiness when they began following her around.

It had been that way with Bibi, and with Fenrir, and with Yuma, maybe even a little bit with Piper and Peggy. She was going completely ballistic at the chance to be a big sister. Loki shrugged, looking up embarrassedly. “Well, we won’t really be siblings if we never meet, are we? I figured if I wanted the right to meet her… or him… I should at least learn to look at my own sister in the eye again.”

Toni pushed her knees to her chest, too, and rested her chin on top of them. “Do you miss her?” she asked, casually, still playing with her ribbon.

The younger girl took a moment before responding. “Yes.” she whispered, softly, yearning filling her voice and her eyes. “Do you?”

She hesitated, thinking hard about it. She had liked Tora when they’d first met, and then some times after that, but in those early timelines, she had been so jealous and so furious, and between her, and Peggy, and Stephanie trusting her less and less each day, it had been very hard not to hate her. “I’m not sure.” she admitted, quietly.

Loki’s eyes travelled to the blue ribbon, understanding in her features. “You know,” she remarked, almost off-handedly, pushing her pajama pants down, even though her legs were still wet. “When I decided to go after my bio-parents, I could’ve gone to Denmark first, instead of NY.”

Toni raised an eyebrow at her, wondering where this was going. “So, why didn’t you?” she asked, actually curious – she had thought about it before, that it was a very weird coincidence Loki had ended up in NY without having followed Tora there.

“NY was closer, and at the same time, it was further away from the rest of my family.” explained the younger girl, shrugging. “But,” she added, before Toni could roll her eyes, “it was more than that. I had a feeling. I knew I should be at NY. I knew I’d find out what I wanted, if only I went there.”

She looked at her meaningfully. “I feel the same way about coming back here.” she murmured, somberly. “And now that I’ve been thinking about it, I’m guessing this feeling isn’t really coming from me.”

Toni stared at her, feeling her heart spike up painfully. “Do you think…” she whispered, letting the phrase hang on the air between them.

Loki shrugged. “I don’t actually remember her – you know that. But, by what you’ve told me…” the girl tapped her knees thoughtfully, examining the blue ribbon. “Sounds like something she would do, doesn’t it?”

The older girl immediately thought back at Jean, about the times where she’d seen her with her parents, looking every bit as easy with Sarah and Joseph as Steph had been. None of them had been left alone.

Stephanie wouldn’t have let them alone.

Toni smiled, crossing her arms over her knees and resting her cheek on them. “Sounds exactly like something she’d do.” agreed the girl, fondly.

Loki gave her a smug look, the one that never came out as arrogant as she actually wanted it to. She considered her thoughtfully, hesitating for a moment with half-open lips, before carefully requesting: “Can I ask you something?”

“Hmmm.” Toni nodded, lazily. After explaining to Loki she had witnessed her slow descend into madness countless times, she doubted there was much the girl could ask that would make her uncomfortable.

Loki still hesitated anyway, seeming to be rolling the question inside her mind. “When Stephanie changed the Magical Girl system, and you… woke up, or regained your memories, or something… and you weren’t contracted anymore.” the younger girl bit her lips, perplexity showing in her voice. “Why did you contract anyway? I mean,” she shook her head, letting her knees drop and sitting cross-legged. “I know why, you used your wish to help get rid of illegal Stark tech, but…” she shrugged. “Couldn’t you have done it by yourself? And why that wish, anyway? Why not… anything else?”

Toni considered this, picking the question apart in silence. For the vast majority of them, fighting demons was a means to an end – the price for a last resource, the trade-off for having their wishes granted. Everything else that came with it was only a side-effect, a bonus, a consolation prize. But to them, to Loki and to herself specifically, it hadn’t been that way – their wishes were the means to an end. Being a Magical Girl was the really important part.

“I contracted again because…” whispered Toni, keeping her eyes on the ribbon resting against her fingers, “because I didn’t want to forget her.”

She folded the ribbon carefully, tucking it safely on her pocket, and wondered how to properly explain it. “I left the hospital trying to figure out something I wanted to live for.” admitted, the girl, not looking at Loki. “And I thought that it would be Stephanie, and it was, for some time. But then, she was gone, and I realized I didn’t…” she stopped, feeling her heart squeeze, the air leaving her lungs for a few seconds. “I realized that it wasn’t… just about us anymore. Just… Peggy, and Tora, and even you, annoying brats…”

“Call me a brat again, and your ancestors will feel it.” interrupted Loki, calmly, raising one eyebrow at her. Toni rolled her eyes.

“You get what I mean.” she replied, impatiently, looking back at her, and shrugging. “Being a Magical Girl. Keeping you all from blowing yourselves up. That’s what really mattered. Stephanie did all of that because of us, and I…” she let out a long breath, feeling it go around the hole in her chest. Some days it hurt more than others, but the vast majority of times, Toni could almost forget it was there at all. “I wanted for it to have meant something. I wanted to fight, too. For her. For us.” she pressed the palms of her hands against the edge of the pool. “I wanted to keep on fighting.”

Loki nodded somberly, her eyes quiet, letting the silence settle between them for just enough time before she shifted, moving closer to the girl and pressing their arms together, her skin warm, smooth and real. “I wish I could remember her, too.”

Toni looked down at her, surprised, not as much by the physical contact – Loki had become more and more cuddly these past few months – but by the admission. She usually avoided talking of Stephanie ever since they’d first discussed the matter, for reasons Toni wasn’t entirely sure about. The whole history had to be disturbing, knowing you trusted your life on a daily bases to someone who had known you for far longer than you had known them. Still, sometimes Loki’s feelings were as hard to decipher as they had been in the beginning.

The younger girl shrugged, seeming unbothered by the sudden confession, and looked up at Toni, her eyes dim and foggy. “She saved me from being a monster.” explained Loki, shortly, the weight of her words pressing between them in heavy silence.

Toni reached out and passed an arm around her shoulders, pulling Loki against her and squeezing for three long breaths. “You were never a monster, you idiot.” she whispered, against her hair, squishing one last time, than shaking her unceremoniously.  “Not let’s get back up and go back to sleep. Jesus, I hate taking planes, and I hate jet leg, and I hate when people’s kid sisters wake me up in the middle of my slumber.”

 Loki rolled her eyes and let Toni pull her up, raising to her feet graciously. “Yuma woke you up? I thought it had been Bibi.”

“Your cat only stared.” replied the older girl, shivering. “And that was bad enough. So get your ass back there before she decides I’m taking too long and begins planning her revenge.”

Loki smiled, false innocence and a lot of real malice, sweetly sighing something in Norwegian. Toni caught the word “nusket” and rolled her eyes. Loki’s cat was creepy, no matter what the younger girl had to say about it.

They’d left the curtains open, so the street light slipped in the bedroom as they tiptoed back in, illuminating Piper’s and Yuma’s faces, all peaceful and slack in their sleep. Toni put her ribbon back on the nightstand, on top of the Arc Reactor, before climbing between the sheets again. Loki slid next to Piper, nudging her out of the way, Bibi curling against her stomach immediately.

It occurred to Toni, right before she fell asleep, that she’d forgotten to tell Loki one last thing about why she had become a Magical Girl again. But, figured the girl, giving one last look around to make sure everyone was accounted for – it wasn’t like they didn’t know it already.

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.

.

She got woken up again by loud, familiar voices, their rhythm and melody reminiscent of post-hunting breakfast and those Friday nights when Gen was busy with something else, and Piper joined them at Shield, eating her body weight in pizza and indulging Yuma while the girl rattled about what she’d learned that week at school.

Toni moaned in her pillow, hating everything, and wondering if she could go back to sleep if she tried hard enough – but now that she was awake, Loki’s and Piper’s voices were demanding her attention, pulling her more firmly into full consciousness.

“But, dude! It’s PB and jelly! How can you not like PB&J?” insisted Piper, disbelief in her voice, sounding very much as if she had her mouth full. Loki snorted.

“How can you like it?” she shot back, unimpressed, derogatorily. “It’s sticky, and pasty and way too sweet. Disgusting. Makes a mess out of everything.”

“You want to talk about a mess?” challenged Piper. Toni cracked an eye open. “Why do you eat only one slice of bread each time? How do you not get stuff all over you?”

Loki glared at Piper. The two of them were sitting by the other bed, the TV turned on with the volume muted, a trolley with enough food to last for various winter months standing next to it. Loki had a hair tie between her teeth, and was brushing Yuma’s hair, braiding it with dexterous fingers. The small girl was sitting on her lap, drinking milk and eating a doughnut, with Bibi resting across her legs. Piper was by their side, cross-legged, a purple jelly mustache on her upper lip.

Finishing fixing up Yuma’s hair, Loki took the hair tie out. “And then you can’t feel the taste of anything.” she remarked, snorting, reaching for a couple hair clips to put some slippery locks into place.

“Why would I want to taste fish’s eggs?” asked Piper, mildly disgusted, and her friend rolled her eyes.

“That’s kaviar, and they are not vegan, so I don’t eat it.” she pointed out, smiling down at Yuma. “All done here, lille venn. You look beautiful.”

“I like kaviar.” opined the small girl, climbing out of Loki’s lap and sitting between them. “I like that other thing you gave me the other day, too. What was it, again?”

“Gulost,” explained Loki, smiling, and Piper made a loud noise of disgust. “Shut up, that’s just yellow cheese.”

“And cucumber!” added Yuma, licking her lips and finishing her doughnut. “I like cucumber, too.”

“Yuma, you like everything we give you.” remarked Piper, amusedly, but Toni interrupted them, groaning loudly and dragging it for long seconds.

“Seriously?” she complained, glaring daggers at them. “You woke me up because you’re arguing over breakfast food? What’s wrong with you, people?”

Yuma looked over her shoulder, giving her a very unimpressed look. “Toni, it’s nine in the morning already.” she informed, disapprovingly.

“A time in which no sensible human being should be up if they have a choice.” muttered the older girl, passing a hand over her face. She could practically hear Loki and Yuma rolling her eyes at her.

“I kept trying to tell them that!” exclaimed Piper, with empathetic outrage, and Fenrir barked happily, just to remind everyone he was still around.

“Huuuungh.” groaned Toni, rolling over in her back and stretching. “There’s something I should be doing.” she murmured to herself, trying to think around the lack of caffeine. They had arrived at the hotel yesterday and went straight to bed, exhausted by a late emergency call just the day before they took the plane. She was pretty sure she was forgetting something.

She thought harder about it. “Shit.” cursed Toni, sitting up on her elbows. “Hey! Did you call your aunt, Piper?”

Piper turned to look at her, licking the jelly mustache off. “Aunt May? Yeah, I called her from my cellphone when we arrived at the hotel.” she rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding me? If I hadn’t called her, she would’ve phoned already just to make disappointed noises at me.”

“I called Peggy to tell her we got here all right.” added Yuma, putting her glass of milk down in favor of snuggling closer to Bibi. “She said she’s changed her schedule around at college so there’s always someone at home. And then Rhodey took the phone and told me to tell you…” she frowned, looking away as she tried recalling it. “That she found out that thing about Malibu, and that when you get back, you’re seven kinds of dead.”

Toni laughed, smiling smugly at the ceiling. Jane was in for a though ride if she thought she could outprank her. Good thing her friend was as bad as Peggy when it came to pretty new trinkets that exploded. “She can try.”

“Pepper called you, too.” warned Loki, feeding Fenrir bites of carrot.

“Pepper?” yawned Toni, feeling for her phone. “What was it about?”

“I think there was something to do with a journalist, and something about putting your brains in a jar if you didn’t email her the new projects in the next five minutes.” answered Loki, smiling at her over her shoulder. “I would call her back if I were you.”

Toni glared at her, then turned her attention back to her phone, resigned to face the wrath of her CEO. She’d just gotten back from her honeymoon, and gone straight into murdering mode at the mess Stark Industries had gotten itself into during her absence (it hadn’t, really, not any more than ever. Pepper was just that efficient). Happy must’ve been an specialist in shoulder rubs by now.

The line rang two times before Pepper picked up. “You’re late.” She told Toni, in clipped tones and a tense voice.

“Awwww, Pepper, I’m chaperoning three underage kids here.” she remarked, making a pouty voice, and got bread tossed at her. “HEY!”

“‘Hey’, what, Toni?.” asked the woman, her voice lowering in a very dangerous way.

“Hey nothing, I was talking to the kids.” explained Toni, hurriedly, and more bread got tossed her way. “Will you two quit that…! I mean, I’m emailing you the projects right now.” She added, accessing the files quickly and pressing the phone against her shoulder. “It’ll be there in two secs, Pepper. Really. Deep breaths, everything will be all right, there they go, on their way, no harm done!”

She heard Pepper sighing on the other end of the line, and could imagine her perfectly, sitting at her desk in the main office, impossibly high heels, not a button out of place, staring down sixty-something, powerful, rich men into whimpering like little kids. Toni hadn’t done many right decisions in her life, but putting the woman ahead of Stark Industries had been one of the best.

“How’s everything working out over there?” asked Pepper, more softly, typing sounds on the background. “Is Loki doing okay so far?” There was a pause. “Wait, is she within hearing distance?”

“Yes, and yes.” replied Toni, smiling and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “We’re having breakfast. Is there coffee?” she asked suddenly, turning back at them. “Please tell me there’s coffee.”

Piper waved at the trolley absent-mindedly, and Loki pushed a plate towards her, probably complying to Peggy’s on-going vendetta to put food on her before she drank coffee in the morning. Toni rolled her eyes at her and poured a big cup. “So, yeah, we’re still gonna figure out the plans for today.” she added, neutrally.

Pepper hummed under her breath, momentarily distracted by something else, before adding, efficiently: “Okay, the projects arrived. Have you seen the Times today?”

“The New York Times? Why?” Toni stepped into the veranda, closing the glass behind her. “Ugh, is it something I should be worried about? Please tell me it has nothing to do with fucking Stane.”

“No, he’s staying put for the time being. Thank God for that, too, I hate dealing with the police.” Pepper sighed, and the stress was palpable in her voice. “No, it’s the same usual nagging. Some journalist thinking he can find dirty on me if he digs deep enough.” She buffed, impatiently, contempt tightly compressed dripping through the phone. “He’s probably still thinking I slept with someone to get the job.”

“Should I do something about it? Is he any close to the truth?” inquired Toni, frowning and searching for the news online. She was getting better at working with images with her eyes still open.

Pepper laughed at the other end of the line. “The truth? You mean that I was hired by a teenager girl who is supposed to be dead to be the figure head of an internationally famous, multimillionaire company?”

Toni smiled mischievously. Faking your own death was surprisingly easy when your body and your soul weren’t necessarily the same thing. “Awww, babe, I didn’t hire you as a figurehead. Only to dismantle the internationally famous, multimillionaire company’s most profitable branch, piss off half the United States government, and put a dangerous weapons dealer behind bars.” she took a deep breath, holding back laughter. “No big deal at all.”

Pepper laughed again, some of the tensions leaving her voice, and some warmth sipping back in. “Tell me again why I took the job?”

“I have pretty eyes?” guessed Toni, leaning against the balcony and smiling fondly. “Or you’re as crazy as us. That’s probably it.”

The woman hummed neutrally under her breath, hints of humor in it. “I probably am.” she admitted, softly, chuckling briefly. “I should go back to work. Wish Loki luck for me. And let me know how things went, all right? Peggy’s been biting her nails out of anxiety all day.”

“How’s she doing around there, by the way?” inquired Toni, gulping down the rest of the coffee. Peggy had been going slightly maniac the last few weeks, still trying to find balance between college, her new job, and her Magical Girl duties. Toni couldn’t understand for the life of her how all that stress made her friend look so happy. Go figure.

“She’s doing fine. Should probably get her first ulcer in a few days’ time, which is practically a rite of passage.” the girl could hear the smile in her words. “Talk to you later, Toni.”

“Bye, Pepper.” she replied, still smiling, cutting the call. It was chilly outside, a cold breeze picking up strength and blowing her hair on her face. Inside, the three younger girls had finished eating and were putting the remains of breakfast back on the trolley, hopping from the bed to get dressed.

Piper had just picked Yuma up by the waist and was throwing her, giggling and squirming, over her shoulder, when Toni felt something moving by her elbow and turned around. Fury was sitting by her side, watching them with his typical neutral expression. “Good morning, Antonia.” he greeted, politely, turning his attention to her.

“Hey, Fury.” she replied, putting her cup down. “I was wondering where you’d run off to.”

“There aren’t as many of me in Washington as there are in New York.” explained the panther, jumping inside the veranda and shaking himself to get rid of the thin rain that had begun falling. “I was carrying your message to the other Magical Girls in the area. You should be able to hunt freely, at least for tonight.”

“Did you check on Tora?” asked Toni, reaching out to let him climb on her shoulder.

“I passed by her house. She appeared to be fine.” informed Fury, getting comfortable around the girl’s neck. “How are the preparations going along?”

“Let’s let Loki figure her own stuff out before we begin negotiations, all right?” she replied, opening the glass doors to get back inside. “We haven’t even got changed it yet.”

Things had gone a bit chaotic inside. Loki and Piper were having a quarrel over not hanging Yuma upside down after she’d just finished eating, and between four girls trying to take a bath and change clothes in a single hotel room, the place became a mess pretty quickly. Toni had finally managed to stuff all her belongings back into her bag, when she realized Loki was nowhere to be seen.

“Where did she…” began the girl, but Piper shushed her, pointing towards the bathroom door.

The silence that fell between them was unnaturally deep.

.

.

.

Loki stared at the phone in her hand, sitting at the edge of the bathtub, her wet hair sticking to her neck. She already knew the number by heart.

She could call her mother, or her father. Being near them made her miss them so acutely it felt like she was bleeding from the inside. It reminded her of the family she’d left behind in Norway – her grandparents, specially – and even the country itself, which she had missed from the first day she’d left it.

She could call her parents.

But she really needed to call her sister.

Pushing her hair away from her face, Loki pressed the hills of her palms against her eyes. Tora made things so bloody difficult. Everything Loki felt for her always seemed to run much deeper than what she felt by anyone else. It seemed as if her entire life she’d been falling apart by the seams and Tora had been the one who kept her afloat by her fingertips. She had hated Tora so much she’d tasted blood, and she’d loved Tora so much her heart almost refused to keep beating when she’d run away from home.

It hadn’t been healthy. Loki knew that, now. She realized how much she’d been depending on her sister, how many expectations she’d put on her, how starved she’d been once her voids kicked in at full strength. Loki knew now, the same way she knew she wasn’t a freak, that her feelings for Tora hadn’t been completely real.

But what part of them had been real?

The part where Tora was her sister, or the part where Loki had been madly in love with her?

“Get this over with, Loki.” whispered the girl, tersely, holding the phone again. Her fingers hovered for half a second, and then she began dialing, pressing the device against her ear harder than necessary.

It rang for so long, she was just about to give up. And then…

“Hello?”

Loki closed her eyes slowly, a sudden wave of serenity rolling over her, washing her soul clean. She smiled, gulping to keep the tears away from her voice. “Tora?”

There was a heavy silence on the other hand of the line. “…Loki?” whispered Tora, sounding so much younger than she remembered her, her voice quivering weakly.

The girl took a deep breath, steadying herself and digging her fingernails in her leg. “Hi, sis.” she whispered, blinking to make her vision clear, unsuccessfully.

“Please don’t hang up.” begged Tora, abruptly, urgency burning in her tone. Loki blinked again, taken aback by the sharp pleading, her mouth falling open. “Sister, please…”

“I won’t.” interrupted the girl, her heart breaking a little, trying to sound soothing. “Tora, is okay. I won’t hang up on you.”

She heard her sister breathing heavily, and wondered when had this happened – when had she become the strong one? “Loki,” called Tora, hesitantly, seemingly struggling with her words. “How… where…” she stopped, gulping loudly, then trying again. “Why did you…?”

“I wanted to see you.” explained Loki, hurriedly, the words getting stuck in her throat for half a minute. “Will you come and meet me?”

“Of course I will.” answered Tora, and the younger girl nearly cried at the familiar tone, the one she used when she thought this really should go without saying. “Where?”

“You can’t tell mother and father.” she added, firmly, trying to control her breathing. “Not yet. Promise me, and I’ll tell you where.”

There was a longer stretch of silence this time, and Loki forced herself to open her hand before she could hurt her own leg. She flexed her fingers, opening and closing, waiting and barely breathing.

“…I promise.” agreed Tora at least, solemnly, quietly.

The girl gave her the address – and then cut the call.

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.

.

Loki exited the bathroom in her bathrobe, tying the knot with more strength than necessary, lines of tension settling visibly in her shoulders. She stopped when she noticed the three girls staring at her, and glared out of principle, injecting enough outrage in her eyes to make it known eavesdropping again would get them all killed.

“She should be here in half an hour.” informed the girl, an edge to her voice that they could hear plainly, even as she tried to conceal it.

“Does that mean we should scatter?” asked Piper, with her usual lack of tact, but Loki only shook her head in agreement.

“I think it’s best if you take Bibi and Fenrir with you, too.” she added, embarrassed, for all she was good at covering it up. Yuma finishing buttoning up her shirt.

“Maybe we should clean the room a bit before she gets here.” she suggested, looking pointedly at  Piper and Toni, who sighed in cue, and began collecting their things.

Loki pressed her lips together, looking pale and fragile in her bathrobe, for a brief moment looking down with a completely lost look in her eyes. Toni saw her taking a deep breath, straightening up and putting it back together, even if her hands were still gripping her elbows tightly.

Fifteen minutes later, she, Yuma and Piper were ready to go out sight-seeing, the room was in a reasonable state of order, and Loki was inside the bathroom blow-drying her hair. Yuma held Bibi with one arm, guiding Fenrir to the door with the other hand and Piper was counting the money aunt May had given her, wondering how much should she spent with Gene’s souvenir.

“Oh, by the love of God, just use your Shield account already.” called out Toni, tying her ribbon to keep her fringe out of the way. “That’s why I set it up for, you know. Loki! We’re leaving the key with you, come lock up the door!”

“I told you already I can’t keep using that account for everything, aunt May will think I’m robbing people.” replied Piper, bending down to pick Sammy up as Yuma waited impatiently by the door.

“Let’s go already.” she insisted, tugging at Toni’s shirt when she came through with the key.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it, hold on for five seconds. Loki! Did you hear what I said? We’re going out!”

Toni pulled the door open, and immediately froze in her tracks, making Piper bump against her back, and Yuma bump against Piper. “Hey, why’d’ya do… oh.” breathed the younger girl, staring up with very awkward panic.

Tora was on the other side of the door, her hand hanging in the air as if she had been about to knock.

.

.

.

Tora’s earliest memory was of Loki, on the day her parents had brought her little sister home. In fact, a great deal of her earliest memories involved Loki, somehow – her presence melting into the background as the years passed, but ever-present, the continuous thread that tied all of Tora’s life into a single existence.

When Tora first put her eyes on her, Loki had been a little rolled-up bundle, with swollen eyes, red cheeks and an absurd amount of deep black hair. She was born slightly premature, really small, with fingernails so tiny they were barely visible, and Tora had stared wide-eyed over the edge of the couch, as if she’d never seen a baby before in her life.

“She’s smaller than you, Tora, and not as strong.” warned Wegger, carefully picking her up and settling her next to baby Loki, his movements slow and deliberate. “You have to be very careful with her. Can you do that?”

“I can do that.” promised the little girl, crawling towards her as if she was approaching a scared, tiny bird. She tilted her head to the side, holding her breath, examining Loki with barely contained awe.

Tentatively, afraid of putting too much strength or speed into it, Tora pressed a finger to Loki’s tiny, tiny, tiny hand, and her sister’s fingers closed around it, holding on with an iron grip. Tora gasped, excitement rising to her head like champagne bubbles, making her head sprint on her chest. “Daddy, look!” she cried out, in her most hushed tone. “She is holding my hand!”

Wegger smiled, sharing a look with Elin, who was sitting by Loki’s other side, her eyes puffy and her nose slightly red. “Well, yes. That’s what sisters are supposed to do, baby.”

Tora shook her hand a bit, carefully, but Loki did not let go, her arm going up and down with the swing. She made a small baby noise, as if it was starting to annoy her, and the older girl stilled as if her muscles had turned to stone. Loki yawned, brushing her other hand messily all over her face in a lazy attempt at rubbing her eyes, before stilling again.

“I love you, sister.” said Tora, slowly, trying the words out and feeling them roll in her tongue. Yes, they felt right. That felt right, concluded the girl, smiling and crawling even closer. She lied next to Loki, resting her head on Elin’s lap and kept holding on the her little sister’s hand.

Tora used to wonder, absent-mindedly, why she had been so surprised at the notion of having a baby sister – hadn’t her parents explained to her why her mother’s belly was suddenly growing bigger and why there was a new crib at the house?

It wasn’t until Loki run away that she found out the true reason.

Why hadn’t she realized before? Why hadn’t she realized her own sister had been planning to run away from home? Had she ever understood Loki at all? Had she ever really tried? All those early morning jogs, when she’d hugged Loki, tighter and tighter, why had she never asked anything? Had she been afraid?

When had she failed Loki so?

She stared at the hotel door, simple and unassuming, her heart thundering in her chest, breathing hard from running all the way up here. She thought about the last time she’d seen Loki’s face, on the night before she left, when her sister had come into her room at night.

Loki had been acting weird those past few months, staying less and less time at home, mysterious silences stretching longer and longer between her words. The nervous energy that used to surround her was gone, something Tora had never noticed even existed before it wasn’t there anymore. Her patience had grown exponentially, but her brilliance seemed to have subdued, as if she had become paler.

Elin had thought maybe Loki was just growing up. Her grades were roughly the same, her bedroom suddenly became pristine and rigorously tidy, and she’d asked their mom to teach her how to cook, actually keeping interested for long enough to properly grasp it.

It was only after she was gone that Tora noticed the other stuff – the furtive, searching glances she shot at them in the breakfast table, her sudden obsession with their family three, the genetics book she caught her reading once. The way Loki had sat at the edge of her bed that night, asking quietly if she could sleep with her.

“Do you think…” asked the girl, several minutes later, when the lights were off and Tora felt her holding on to her fingers with both hands. “Tora, do you think, that… that if we… even if we weren’t…”

Tora blinked, pillowing her face in her arm and looking at Loki in the faint light coming from the living room. “What is it?” she asked, frowning slightly, a little worried.

“It’s… nothing.” whispered Loki, tiredly. “Nothing important. I already know the answer, anyway.”

Tora considering insisting, wondering what was it her sister could be hesitant about asking her. “Is it a good answer?” she asked, instead, carefully, and could see her sister’s lips twitching upwards a bit.

“Yes, it is.” agreed the younger girl, lighter, which made her smile. “But I probably have to work on believing it.”

“Do you need help?” inquired Tora, meaning it in every sense of the world, but Loki shook her head, rejecting it, and the talk had ended there.

And now there were three unknown girls staring up at her with varying degrees of surprise, and Tora missed Loki so much she felt she could pass out at any moment.

The older girl, which should be roughly her own age, had the strangest look in her face, as if – and that was a poor metaphor, but it was the first thing that crossed her mind – she’d just run on an ex in the street. She was short, with tanned skin and dark blue eyes. Her clothing, a Metallica t-shirt with jeans that were cut off at the knee and black commando boots, contrasted sharply with the baby-blue ribbon tied as a tiara in her hair.

The girl right behind her was taller, but looked younger, with choppy brown hair and hazel eyes, lots of bony elbows and skinny angles still waiting for puberty to end so they could click together once and for all. She was looking at Tora as if her parents had just caught her trying to sneak out her bedroom window, her mouth slowly closing as she gulped.

The last member of the trio was the smallest – an Asian girl that couldn’t be older than ten, who stared up at Tora with mild surprise, as if she was a visitor she wasn’t expecting. Her left hand was grasping a big black dog, nearly as big as her, holding him by the collar as if he was a cute puppy. Her right arm was firmly hooked around a grey cat, and that was what caused Tora’s heart to stop beating – she was skinner, and maybe older, but easily recognizable. Bitteline.

“Is she…” choked Tora, not able to make the words come out, and the older girl’s eyes went softer around the edges, a look that could be affectionate if they had ever seen each other before.

“She’s in the bathroom.” replied the stranger, nudging the girl behind her and stepping around Tora. “The key is inside.”

The small girl stopped before following them, her eyes taking a more guarded look, as if she was trying to be threatening. “Be nice to her.” she warned, plainly, and Tora suddenly realized her hair was tied up in a fishtail braid. She nodded.

“Yuma, let’s go!” called the skinny girl from the elevator. The dog barked, and Bitteline gave Tora a nasty look, and Yuma run to catch up to her companions, disappearing behind the elevator doors.

Her breath wasn’t coming in anymore – her lugs didn’t seem to fill up, no matter how much air she inhaled. Tora stepped inside, closing the door behind her, and looked around.

The two double beds were messy, clearly hastily put together after a night’s sleep. The curtains were drawn, and the breakfast trolley had been pushed aside where it would be easier for the cleaning staff to maneuver. There were four bags open near the foot of the beds, two of them overflowing with messily stuffed clothing, and two others perfectly tidied up, their contents folded neatly. That was about it.

There were no indications of a long stay anywhere – no personal belongings in the nightstands, no discarded clothing in the chairs, or shoes lying around. There wasn’t any hint of Loki, but yet Tora circled the place, desperately looking for a clue, a glimpse, anything to connect the place to her sister. Anything to help her understand, to tell her what she’d done wrong and where Loki had been all this time, leaving behind cryptic messages that never changed – I’m okay, I can’t come back, I’m safe, I still can’t come back.

What could she tell her sister after all this time? 

The thought of having her so close scared Tora, as if Loki was just about to slip through her fingers yet again. And losing her one more time terrified the girl more than anything else ever had.

The sound of a blow-dryer died out suddenly, making the girl nearly jump out of her skin. She hadn’t even realized it had been there before.

“Toni?” someone called, casually, almost distractedly, turning Tora’s bones into water. “Toni, did you just say something?”

Silence – Tora couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, could barely think. There was a small clunk, coming from the bathroom, someone putting something down. “Toni? Pipes?” insisted the voice, followed by another brief pause, and then a loud, exasperated sigh. “Would it kill them to give me a heads up?... You two better not be behind the door waiting to jump on me!” it warned, a distinct sound of footsteps approaching the bathroom door. “I don’t think I need to remind you what happened the last time you tried to pull that on me, and I would have thought that I’d knocked some…”

Loki walked into the room and froze like a deer caught in the headlights.

It had been four years ever since they’d last laid eyes on each other. Tora hadn’t realized exactly how huge the hole in her chest was, until it wasn’t there anymore. As if it had never existed. As if she hadn’t spent entire hours staring at Loki’s empty bedroom, looking exactly the same no matter how much she looked, because none of them had the courage to touch it. As if Tora hadn’t had to physically constrain herself every time she got home from school, to keep from calling out for her sisters. As if they hadn’t stopped eating at the dinner table, because the sight of the girl’s empty seat made speaking downright impossible.

It was as if none of that had ever happened, because the mere sight of her abruptly put everything back in its place, the pain disappearing so completely, the lack of it felt like utter bliss.

“…sense… into… you.” finished Loki, awkwardly, her voice barely above a whisper, not moving a muscle.

Tora just stared at her, drinking the sight, drowning on her presence, on seeing the real, breathing, living image of her sister. She looked so different – and yet so exactly how Tora remembered her.

She’d grown like crazy these past few years, shooting up several inches, and gaining a couple of pounds. The baby-like roundness to her face had disappeared, leaving behind elegant lines, high cheekbones, thin lips. Her eyes were clear, filled with a confidence Tora didn’t remember seeing, some sort of tranquility, of surety, a hint of laughter that wouldn’t fade. She was standing up different. Her voice sounded different, too, but Tora couldn’t figure out why.

Loki gulped. She was tying up her hair in a high ponytail – how many times had Tora seen her in a ponytail? When their mother didn’t tame it in a braid, her hair used to fall in her eyes all the time, messy and never brushed. Now it was pushed back, away from her face, and Loki finished tying it, looping the elastic one, two, three times, then letting her hands drop slowly. She was wearing star-shaped earrings.

Tora breathed in slowly, in and out, and took an hesitant step towards her. Loki’s eyes followed her, unsure, the way she used to look when she wanted to play with her and didn’t want to admit it. Even her clothes were different – Tora remembered her in baggy shirts and old dresses and bizarre combinations of clashing colors. Now she was wearing fitting black jeans with suspenders, and a top with a red roses’ pattern. There were a pair of boots next to one of the beds, and a jacket hanging on the headboard. 

When Tora wasn’t looking, Loki had grown into her own skin.

Loki took a deep breath, her eyes running feverishly over Tora’s face, her eyes coating with a layer of tears. “Hello, sister.” she whispered, shakily, an hesitant smile tugging at her lips.

She had never looked more beautiful.

Tora strode forward, taking two wide steps towards her, and Loki blinked, looking up, tears on her eyelids, her mouth half-way through forming her name when she got interrupted. Tora pulled her into her arms, lifting her off the ground, burying her face in her hair, and finally putting her life back into its right place.

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Loki yelped at the sudden hug, finding herself suddenly crushed inside of Tora’s arms, unable to breath, her feet dangling off the ground.

She closed her eyes, for a moment feeling actually, physically incapable of moving anymore. Then her arms went around Tora’s neck, squeezing, holding on tightly and her face was in her sister’s hair and she had never been so glad she was alive ever before.

Tora was still taller than her. That was plainly unfair. “I missed you.” whispered the girl, brokenly, blissfully, and Loki sobbed.

Missed her?

Tora had no idea, had she? She had no idea what it had been like, having to leave her behind. She’d missed her like a living thing every single day, had nearly turned around and came back just because she couldn’t bare being away any more.

She sobbed again. Her sister hadn’t changed much. She was really taller, and looked more serious, more mature, and more grown up. But all that she had liked best hadn’t changed at all: the openness, the security, the boisterous affection. And now, with Tora’s arms safely wrapped around her waist, Loki could really recall how safe she’d always made her feel, as if nothing in the world could ever get past her sister and harm her.

So that was it, wasn’t it? The answer to her question.

She would always, always be in love with Tora. But none of that mattered anymore. Tora was her sister. She had never needed anything else.

“I missed you too, Tora.” whispered Loki, and her sister squeezed her even more, making her chuckle breathlessly. “Stop squishing me, you oaf.”

“No.” muttered Tora, wetly, against her hair. “I won’t.”

Loki chuckled again, basking in her warmth, pressing her cheek against her shoulder and letting Tora hold her. They had so much to talk about, so much to explain. Sixteen years of missing one another, of lying to her parents and lying to herself, and a terrifying amount of thorns to be pulled out. It would still hurt like hell before they could set their records straight.

But Loki had missed her so much, and now she didn’t anymore. It felt as if she’d been walking for miles on end, not really sure where she’d been trying to go, all the while desperate to turn around and go back the way she’d come. But she’d finally arrived. She could finally stop chasing all that she didn’t have, and stay put, and stay here and be okay, for the first time in her whole life.

She had come back to the start, but everything was different, now. Loving Tora didn’t hurt anymore: as far as she was concerned, that was as good place as any to begin rebuilding her burnt bridges. “Tora?” she called, softly, her lips pressed against her neck.

Tora sniffled, shaking slightly, her breath coming in shallow bursts.“Yeah?” she asked, her voice rough, a breath away from crying.

“I love you.” replied the younger girl, closing her eyes and breathing her scent in deeply. Shampoo, deodorant, and Gatorade, exactly like she remembered it.

“I love you, too.” murmured Tora, pressing a kiss against her forehead.

And her life finally came back around full circle.

She had arrived home.

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Fucking, stupid demons. They always had to go for her tech. Damned things cost her more money daily than keeping the Shield Headquarters cost her in a whole month.

“Bunch of suckers.” she muttered, finally managing to pry her glove apart to get to the circuitry. “Took me enough fucking work to invent this technology, as if I needed these frigging abominations destroying my repulsors every time I go out hunting.” She felt for her goggles behind her, putting them on one-handedly. “Pricks.”

Fury yawned next to her, keeping an eye on her Soul Gem as it got slowly purified. Lazily, he reached out to a Grief Cube that had already saturated, pawing it in a swift motion and gulping it down with gusto. He stretched, looking every bit as a domestic cat as he twisted around trying to find a comfortable position, ending up in such a contortioned stance, Toni’s column hurt just looking at him.

“Pass me my screwdriver.” asked the girl, examining the damage carefully. Her boots were, thankfully, intact, and the Arc Reactor was equally safe – but her gloves had nearly fucking melted, and flying without stabilizers had been an experience she wasn’t willing to repeat.

Fury went around the circle of Cubes, carefully resting at equal distance from her Soul Gem, and picked the tool, walking back to Toni. “Are you going to keep on hunting?” inquired the panther, licking his paw indifferently as the wind picked up around them. That was a downside to sitting on top of buildings.

“Hummm.” agreed the girl, shifting to keep her bare legs away from the cold concrete. “I’m gathering some extra Cube Seeds as a peace offering. Either way, building a stock never hurts.”

Fury stared up at her, tilting his head in a semblance of curiosity. “Do you really think the local Magical Girls will be interested in setting up a Shield chapter in the city?” he questioned, managing to sound irkingly doubtful for a creature with no capacity for human emotion.

“Might as well try.” she muttered, pulling tiny mechanic parts off the damaged glove. “With Loki having to explain to her parents where she’s been for the last four years, we aren’t going home any time soon.”

The panther reached forward to snatch another used Grief Cube, this time eating it slowly, as if to give him time to think. “Truthfully, I’m not completely sure having a support system in place will be beneficial for us in the long run.” He laid down next to her, leaning against her leg and closing his eyes. “If your theories on the nature of the Shield Effect are true, you’ve already cost us a much more profitable method of harnessing energy.”

“I told you already it’s not a theory.” complained Toni, pushing her goggles up and frowning at him. “It’s what happened.”

Fury looked up at her, purring lowly as the girl scratched him between the ears. “But you have no way of proving it.” he argued, arching into the touch. “If the rules of the universe have changed the way you say they have, no one can hope to prove it. And no one remembers any of it but you – you could’ve imagined everything.”

“We can’t prove gravity is real, either.” replied Toni, reaching for her belt and rummaging around for the right tools. “But it explains why things fall if you throw them up.”

Fury seemed to consider it, his tail brushing against her hip rhythmically. “Well, it’s true we can’t explain why exhausted Soul Gems disappear.” he conceded, turning on his back and stretching again. “And as of now, we can’t refute your hypothesis, either.”

“But I can’t really comprehend why your friend would make a wish like that.” proceeded the panther, looking up at Toni in that way that unsettled girls into blurting their minds out. “Nothing has really changed. Even if those so-called ‘Witches’ don’t exist anymore, the demons we battle fulfill basically the same role, don’t they?”

Toni rolled her eyes at him, nudging him to make him turn around again. “A. You are really fucking creepy. And B.” she stopped for half a minute, running several calculations in her mind before proceeding. “Just believe me when I tell you it’s better. You are really not equipped to understand why it was worse before.” she felt behind her for one of the disassembled parts, catching it with the tip of her fingers and locking it in place. “Besides, our relationship with you was all kinds of terrible. At least now I don’t have the urge to shoot at your face every time I see you.”

“Hmmmm.” hummed the panther, thoughtfully, getting up to collect the rest of the used Grief Cubes. “As I thought, it really is impossible to understand human beings.”

Toni chuckled, looking at him over her shoulder. “We haven’t figured our own shit out yet. Of course you wouldn’t get it.” she put her glove down, picking her clean Soul Gem and placing it back carefully in the Arc Reactor. “Don’t fry your alien brain over it, Fury.” she added, reaching out to let him climb in up her arm. “We’ve got work to do.”

The panther sighed, perching in her shoulder and watching the ground attentively. “Are you sure your repulsors are working properly? If you jump from so up high and they fail, it’ll take a lot of magic to fix your body.”

“Of course I’m sure it’s working.” replied Toni, mildly annoyed, putting her glove back on. “I’m a technopath, remember? I know what goes on with my own damn tech.”

Fury nestled closer to her, holding on tightly, and made a neutral noise of agreement. “The miasma sure is thick tonight.” he commented, dark eyes still scanning the city analytically. “No matter how many we kill, they just keep coming back, don’t they?”

Toni adjusted her repulsors, making sure all the joints were still in place, scanning the immediate surroundings for any threats. Tall shadows glimmered at the edges of reality: with expressionless faces and long white robes, they sucked people’s souls quietly when they had their backs turned, sharply seeping through the cracks. Fury was right about that – they just never seemed to end.

Stephanie’s wish hadn’t fixed the world.

“No use complaining.” she retorted, shortly, holding her hands together and stretching. “Let’s get to work.”

Toni took a couple of steps back, running and jumping over the edge of the building. Her repulsors whirred to life, lifting her in the air, wind going through her hair, surrounding her body, making her blood rush in her ears and her heart beat with buzzying strength. Toni laughed out loud, smugly, feeling her muscles bursting with life as adrenaline filled her veins.

Flying hadn’t been exactly what she had in mind when she’d begun developing the technology for Yinsen’s new wheelchair, but Toni was never the one to do things half-way. Yinsen would’ve approved, she thought, with that side-ways smile of his and an ironic remark about her having read too many comic books. Smirking, she looped through the air, cutting the power to her boots and falling swiftly towards the street, the movement attracting a group of demons like a pack of famine beasts.

Stephanie’s wish hadn’t fixed the girls, either. They were still broken, still damaged, and still dying. New curses kept on being born and growing stronger every day – their work was just never done. Nothing was solved. Nothing was perfect. Things weren’t even necessarily easier.

Magical Girls were still laying their lives on the line, working themselves to the bare bone for a chance at fulfilling a single wish.

But that was really all that they had ever needed. A chance.

Toni smiled wider as she landed on a knee, leaning her weight on a hand to steady her fall. Above her head, demons loomed, hatred and wrongness wrapping the air around them. Stephanie had given her a chance to start it all over again for one last time – to walk away from the fight and live another life, to not have to worry every night if someone she cared about would be the one to die that time.

Too bad she was too stubborn to leave all the work to her. Toni stood up, grinning, raising her hands and pointing her palms towards the approaching demons. This wasn’t over, yet. Between Stephanie’s new gained godly cosmic powers, and her being a technopath genius, Toni wouldn’t give up on her just yet. She had come all this way. They had come all this way.

They would find each other again. She knew that. And on the meantime, she would live out her last new chance to the fullest.

“Watch out for me, Cap.” whispered Toni, firing her repulsor blasts and grinning as her blue ribbon billowed in the sudden breeze. “I’m going to get you.”

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.

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Never forget,

Always, somewhere,

Someone is fighting for you.

As long as you remember her,

You are not alone.

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