Chapter Text
It had been two days since they’d taken off from the human zoo, they would be getting to earth shortly. Steven was pacing around on the deck of the ship. They had taken a battle ship instead of his legs–he didn’t protest. Even if the ship travelled slower than his own, it gave him time to make plans for the first steps of renewing the colony. It also meant he didn’t have to pilot the ship himself, Peridot was in charge of that now. Piloting wasn’t exactly his favorite thing anyways, so he was happy to turn that over to another gem.
Peridot and Jasper were currently tied for being the most insufferable gems on the ship–at least in Steven’s opinion (it wasn’t exactly a fair competition, Lapis was stuck in a cell and Orchid was never annoying). Blue and Yellow had apparently sent their “top” gems but at that point Steven felt like they sent the ones ready to sabotage his mission. Sure, Jasper was a perfect quartz but she got along as well as water and oil with Peridot. Peridot seemed to enjoy pressing the buttons of the short tempered quartz and the pair could engage in snide comments for hours. Jasper, meanwhile, was far too devoted, almost tripping over herself to do anything he asked right away. She had seemed to assume he needed a bodyguard at all times. Ordering her to go away only led to another bickering match between her and the green gem, so he settled on letting her stay. She had stationed herself outside his room for the time being.
Currently, he was standing with Orchid, playing with his curls while staring into a mirror. The bags under his eyes looked more prominent–they always got that way when he was away from light. Even though the ship did have light, it left him feeling hollow. It wasn’t the same as the light sources the human zoo had to offer. As Orchid helped clean his face, he sighed, “Must we go interrogate the lazuli? Why can’t Peridot or Jasper handle that? She already said she didn’t know anything according to the logs right? Maybe she was telling the truth.”
Orchid sighed, using her hand to gently tilt his face upwards, “You’re a diamond, Pink. You know that matters like these are more important than some common gems could handle. She could be a traitor after all. And I’m sure that peridot is reporting everything back to Yellow. Why don’t you give her something that’s impressive to report?” Orchid spoke in a soft tone. she knew Steven hated these duties but they had to be done, especially since this was his first step to getting a colony back. If she wanted to keep Steven safe, it meant making him do the less desirable sides of the job.
Noticing the unconvinced look on his face, Orchid gently added, “I’ll be there with you the whole time.” That seemed to spark emotion into Steven’s eyes. Afterall, things were always easier with Orchid. He could get through this interrogation, he just needed to remember how Yellow did one.
“You’d really be with me?” At her nod he paused. It was his job to interrogate potential traitors and informants. What had Yellow said the last time she’d done one..? That the gem deserved to be questioned, it was lucky it wasn’t shattered, it was beneath them.
Steeling himself, he turned to walk out the door, “Well then, follow me Pearl. The interrogation shouldn’t take long, right? And maybe she’ll be nicer this time. According to the logs, she was really feisty last time.” His steps echoed around the cold, green halls. The quiet buzzing of the cells was the only other sound. He was aware that Jasper had ended up tailing him and Orchid. Not that he cared to stop her, at least she was mostly silent here.
Jasper asked as they were walking, “My diamond, I could take over the interrogation. I’ve seen plenty during the war–that Lazuli wouldn’t last long with me in charge.”
Something in the quartz’s eyes made a chill go up Steven’s spine. She was way too eager to get violent, way too eager to resort to extreme measures. Yet another reason he didn’t want to let her do it.
“I’ll stay in charge of the interrogation, Jasper,” Steven said quickly. Even if he was planning on being stern, he was fair. “You can help where I need you, but I will be leading it.”
To his relief, Jasper didn’t argue. She quickly saluted and dipped her head, “Of course, my diamond.” He tried to ignore the look of hunger in the larger gem’s eyes. She was just dying for a fight or any chance to show off her strength.
Finally, he reached the cell where Lapis Lazuli was held. The gem looked pathetic. Her hair was a mess, Steven couldn’t imagine ever letting his hair get like that–no proper gem would. Her knees were pulled to her chest and her clothes were wrinkled. Only a slight twitch of the face gave away Steven’s reaction of pity. He had enough practice masking his emotions throughout the years with the diamonds. No fear, pity, or pain were allowed to leak through. Yet, his brain still found a sense of sympathy for the traitorous gem. The lighting of the ship had bothered him–maybe it was bothering the captive. Is that why she looked so weak? He had to chase those thoughts away quickly, though. This gem was a traitor. What if this gem started another rebellion? Yellow would want him to go through with it, she wouldn’t stop just because the gem looked pathetic (Yellow would say it was just a trick anyways).
Steven cleared his voice, “Lapis Lazuli, you have been made aware why you are here? Have you not?” He almost didn’t recognize his voice, it felt strangely empty. It was filled with the learned coldness of Yellow’s and the cutting edge Blue’s.
Shuddering slightly, Lapis drew her knees closer to her chest. However, determination sparked into the once lifeless eyes. “I’m not with the rebel gems! I was trapped the whole war- I had nothing to do with them. There shouldn’t even be gems left–unless you’re admitting the diamonds didn’t clear the Earth properly.”
That comment cut Steven deep. The idea that he or the other diamonds did something poorly was a major insult. He wasn’t a part of the diamond blast that had destroyed every gem on the planet, but he knew Yellow, Blue, and White would never mess up. Messing up meant being faced with a sharp hit, or only stars know how long in a dark, empty room. A real snarl crept into Steven’s voice, his defences raising as he paced in front of the cell, “Your story is inconsistent and you imply that we would do something wrong! We’re diamonds.” He spat the last word and planted himself in front of the cell, “You said you were trapped in a mirror for eons, but now you’re free. Who would free you if not a fellow gem? You’re lucky we haven’t recycled you yet. Although you’re making the option look very tempting.”
Next to him, Orchid seemed to have become rigid. Steven shot her a questioning look, what had he done wrong? Sure, it felt bad to say some of those things, and he didn’t really want to recycle the gem, but wasn’t the entire point of this process fear? It’s what the diamonds did to him when they wanted to get a point across. Not to mention Jasper’s critical eye was watching. He couldn’t show any weakness in front of the gem that could sense it a light year away. Jasper was focusing her glare on Lapis at least–only his command is what was stopping her from escalating the situation. Anyways, it was just the way things were, even if they made his gut squirm with a feeling he couldn’t name.
The spark of determination didn’t leave Lapis’ eyes, but fear had joined it. “It was a human. She freed me.” She looked back at her feet, she refused to speak more than that. A show of defiance, a show of a traitor. Her loyalties weren’t with the diamonds afterall.
Steven rolled his eyes, was it really that hard to tell the truth. He learned when he was far younger than this gem that lying only led to a punishment. Yellow was just teaching him how to properly act with her punishments after all. It’s the same case for this Lapis, being a liar was no way to properly act for any gem, “A human? What did she look like? How do I know you aren’t lying? You could be trying to protect the rest of those traitors.”
Lapis looked at the floor, debating whether it was worth telling the glaring diamond outside her cell. After what seemed like decades, she quietly said, “her name was Connie. But she won’t hurt you! So she isn’t any of your concern.”
A weak point, the first thing Lapis seemed attached to. Loving things only made you weak, another lesson Steven had learned from the diamonds. When he was younger, Orchid had found a small toy that was meant for the zoomans. It was shaped like an earth creature called a “lion”. Even if it did look a little silly, he loved it. He loved it so much he had proudly shown it off to Yellow–he should’ve realized that it would only end in disaster. It only earned him a long rant about how he was wasting time. She had made him tear it apart himself–it would’ve been easier for her to do it of course but what lesson would’ve been learned?
“Connie,” Steven echoed, his voice softer than before, still caught up in his memory. He tried to recompose himself, but he couldn’t hide the shake in his voice, “So how did she know what you were? By now, no human should know gems exist.”
This question seemed to make Lapis freeze, she didn’t have an excuse or explanation for this. She finally managed to fumble out a response, “She just- she didn’t know-“ she trailed off as quickly as she started.
Steven could sense she was close to breaking–he didn’t even have to use the force he was dreading to use. He turned his back on the cell, calling out in a cold voice, “Pearl? Jasper? Why don’t you two go and prepare the recycling room? It’s obvious this waste of a cell won’t speak anymore.” He tried not to flinch at the questioning look on Orchid’s face. Was that disappointment in her eyes? How could it be? He was doing what he was supposed to be doing–he was a diamond. And couldn’t she tell it was a bluff? At least he hoped it was one, Lapis was so close to giving in, surely he wouldn’t have to actually hurt her.
Meanwhile, Jasper was obeying without hesitation. “Yes, my diamond,” She said, her cold glare only leaving the blue gem so she could walk away.
Just as Jasper began to turn the corner, Lapis called out, “Wait! Fine- I’ll tell you but please don’t hurt them. Don’t hurt Connie.” Jasper looked at Steven, he gave her a nod to confirm for her to wait. There would be no need for the recycle room after all.
Steven spun back around, “So there are gems on earth?” He wished she was telling the truth earlier about the lack of gems on Earth. Was he about to find a whole army of rebel gems just waiting for him?
Lapis slumped down, defeated, “There’s only three; just a pearl, a fusion, and a defective quartz. The humans are with them, but she really is harmless.” Steven tilted his head, wondering just why Connie was so important–wasn’t she just another human? More importantly though, Steven began to plan on how to deal with the traitors.
“Jasper, go tell Peridot to increase the ship’s speed. Pearl, come with me,” his voice had a sudden urgency, his steps faster than before.
Jasper saluted, “Yes, my diamond. I’ll make sure that fumbling peridot gets us to Earth in the next half cycle.” Steven gave a curt nod and watched as Jasper marched quickly down the hall. At least she listened to everything he said, as much as he hated having a shadow!
Orchid’s eyebrows were furrowed with worry, “Pink? What are you planning on doing?”
“I need to review the maps, and the old charts, and documents on the rebels. I need to figure out what we’re facing. This is the first time they’ve trusted me! I can’t let them down.” Steven’s tone was brisk, he couldn’t play around anymore. If he just pulled himself together and reviewed everything, he could defeat these rebels. He could prove to Blue and Yellow that he was one of them–their equal.
Orchid’s steps faltered, it was as if everything Steven said just added to her worry. “Surely you’d want a nap. You seem exhausted-“
“I’m not!” Steven snapped defensively. Being tired wasn’t an option, it couldn’t be an option. “Maybe you should back off, I saw how you looked at me when I was dealing with that-that traitor!” He increased his speed, not paying attention as he stormed through the hall. It was lucky the halls were empty otherwise he would’ve most likely crashed into something by now. He could see in his reflection of the walls that his skin had started to turn pink.
“You didn’t seem like you-” Orchid’s worried voice was quickly cut off by Steven’s harsher one.
“Who did I seem like then? I was just doing what I had to.” Steven felt the odd squirming feeling in his stomach again. He had to ignore it though, he was a diamond–that meant he was right. He didn’t like how his stomach turned at the wounded expression on Orchid’s face. If he was right, why did it feel so bad?
There was a long pause, the only sound came from the faint buzz of the prison cells. Finally, Orchid spoke in a quiet voice, “I’ve just never seen you act so much like Yellow, my diamond.”
Shock flashed through Steven. She never called him that–well of course she did in front of other gems, but they were alone. Had he really acted in a way that made her feel like she had to do that? He didn’t do anything wrong–he just did what he was supposed to. “I pay attention to her lectures and what she teaches, she’s never had an uprising in the past, maybe she has a point in being strict. And it’s not like I actually hurt her!”
“Steven-” Orchid’s voice was softer now, her gaze filled with careful concern.
“Orchid, don’t call me that right now!” Steven snapped, he wasn’t angry at her, but she didn’t need to try to convince him what he’s in the wrong. This was his colony, this was his job. He had to prove to the other diamonds he could be responsible. If he failed in making the Earth into a colony, stars know what they’d do to him.
“I need to focus on being Pink, I can’t play make believe anymore! I don’t know what a Steven or a mom is–all it is is part of some big game I made up that I can’t even remember!” Steven’s voice rose into a shout at the end of his sentence, he felt the floor crack beneath him. He looked down at his hands–they were pink, he had let his emotions get the better of him. He slapped his hands over his mouth, staring at his reflection on the cracked floor. The pink that had colored his body had disappeared as quickly as it came, but the damage was already done. He didn’t mean to yell, he didn’t want to hurt Orchid, who was now huddled against a wall.
Steven just stared at his reflection–he couldn’t believe what he had done. He had just made another mess, what would the diamonds say about this?
“Orchid? Are you okay? I didn’t mean to-“ He stepped forward , his arm outstretched but paused when Orchid flinched. She finally pulled herself up, other than looking ruffled, she didn’t seem to be hurt. Steven was glad, he never wanted to hurt her, even if she was just a pearl to the other diamonds.
“I’m okay- really, Pink. I was startled by your shout, but no damage was done” Orchid had already fixed her posture, messing with her hair until it fell neatly again.
Steven nodded, his relief obvious in my eyes. He turned to walk down the hall, wanting to get away from the destruction he caused. He needed his memories back, he couldn’t be Steven, he couldn’t get caught up on the idea of being Steven or the idea of a “mother. He was Pink, even if he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t mess up again.
Steven swallowed, pushing down the same reoccurring twisting in his gut. He was a diamond, he was doing what a diamond should do. A few traitorous gems being hurt along the way wouldn’t matter. Surely he could eventually forget if he hurt them, he hoped so at the very least. He wanted to forget the pain and fear on Lapis' face as soon as he could. He wanted to forget the fact he caused it.
He straightened his shoulders as he tried to focus on the plan ahead of him. He would crush whatever rebels were left, take over Earth, and, for once be considered a proper diamond. He would make the other diamonds proud. There was no more time to indulge in the game of being Steven, he was a diamond after all.
Coldly, he turned to Orchid and declared, “Well, if that’s the case, we better move on. We have a war to finish after all.”