Chapter Text
Beef makes camp while fretting over Etho and Pause. Etho is disoriented, confused by the unnatural respawn, but Beef has since him in much worse shape. Their complaints are many, and therefore Beef isn’t all that worried.
Pause, however, is almost silent and barely awake, and it’s his condition that really scares Beef.
Beef had known that Pause was capable of intense magic, but there has never before been the opportunity and reason for Pause to do something like this. This is a challenge run, for Prime’s sake — their Lives are not on the line. All that Pause had deigned to explain before casting was that despite the cost of necromancy, it waso a better outcome for Etho.
Beef has no idea what that means. Etho, again, seems like he’ll be pretty fine. Beef had not been aware of there being any weird respawn caveats on this challenge run besides respawn being disabled in general. It does not sit right with Beef that Pause knew something he didn’t share with the class, especially when it resulted in unexpected high level necromancy.
If the backlash kills Pause, there’s no way for Beef or Etho to bring him back. Pause will face whatever consequences he tore Etho away from if he succumbs to the magic exhaustion. Maybe, Beef reflects, that was the whole point.
It makes the choice no less stupid and no less frustrating.
Etho is slumped by the campfire, their head between their knees, and Beef taps the top of Etho’s head to get their attention.
“Food.” Beef announces, and Etho’s ears twitch away from the touch before Etho raises their gaze.
“I’m not hungry,” they mutter, but Beef holds the bowl out anyways and fixes Etho with a look.
“You can eat.” Beef prompts. “Or I can grab you by the arm and figure out exactly what your saturation is at by dowsing your Lifemarks.”
Etho arches a brow at him, fur rising. Beef is, to be fair, being a lot more forceful than usual. Or at least meaner about it. But Beef’s nerves are frayed to pieces right now and he knows full-well that Etho needs to eat. It’s not kind, but this is about keeping Etho alive.
“It’s just potato soup. I made it separately, without other vegetables.” Potatoes are a good, easy safe food for Etho, which is why Beef made this in particular. It’s natural for a bad respawn to send someone’s stomach flipping, and between Etho’s physically-complex relationship with food when he’s sick and his mentally-complex history of disordered eating, simple is always better. “I need you to eat so you can help Pause and I can stake out a better torch boundary.”
When in doubt, don’t make it about Etho, either. If Etho gets a whiff of something he interprets as pity, he’ll either shut down, run for it, or both. No, make it a direct invitation to help someone else. It’s a hard sell outside Pause or Beef specifically, what with Etho’s extremely exclusive circle of trust, but that’s not an issue here.
Etho is scowling, but takes the bowl. Beef pretends not to notice the way he takes it in two hands, slightly trembling. Pause is the real Etho-whisperer, but Beef isn’t half bad when it comes down to it.
Beef has to trust that Etho isn’t going to dump the bowl behind his back, because it would also be a mistake to watch Etho too closely; that will only make them more skittish. So Beef walks to where he’d laid Pause down to rest on a hastily thrown-down bedroll.
Pause is laying flat on his back, almost exactly as Beef had left him, tucked beneath the blanket and with a pale blanche across his features. Beef sits at his side, touching Pause’s shoulder.
“Pause.” Beef speaks in a measured voice. “Hey, buddy. Are you with me?” Pause’s eyes vaguely flicker behind half-lids, and Beef gives his friend a gentle shake to rouse him.
Pause makes an indistinct noise, head twitching towards the sound of Beef’s voice.
“Beef?” He mumbles.
“It’s me. How’re you doing?”
“Is … Etho …?”
Leave it to Pause to answer a question with a question. “He’s fine. Fully back on our side of the veil, no dancing with Death’s Angel here.” Beef does not voice how worried he is that Pause is going to die next. “What can I do to help you?”
“Just … need to rest.” Pause forces his eyes more fully open, focusing on Beef’s face. “If … if I was gonna die, it would’ve happened right away. Or faded pretty fast. Didn’t spend that much energy.”
Beef is unconvinced that he’s not watching Pause fade right now and anxiously retucks the blankets around him. “Are you sure? You don’t look good.”
“M’sure.” Pause sounds … decently sure. The problem is that Pause is a great liar on a good day and even if he’s too exhausted to move right now, Beef is freaked out that Pause could still be lying to protect him.
“I really need you to be sure. If I tell Etho you’re going to be fine and something happens …”
When in doubt of Pause’s truthfulness, don’t make accusations. Appeal to Etho, because the things Pause would do for Etho are boundless.
Pause’s eyes flicker side to side, as if checking if Etho is within earshot. Beef steals a glance across the campsite just quick enough to glimpse the shadow of Etho hunched over, eating, and definitely not eavesdropping.
“Seriously, Pause. I want to help you. They do too.”
Pause takes a long, slow breath. “I think … I’ll be okay. Make it through the night and I’m sure. Haven’t really … casted like that in a long time.”
“Necromancy is a rare magic.” It takes power that is hard to control and even harder to harness correctly, not to mention the right timing. There are a lot of servers where it wouldn’t even be possible, and plenty more where it would be considered strictly unlawful. Mindcrack is exactly the sort of place it could be done, and the kind of place it could be learned, but only under the right circumstances. “I’m not gonna ask when you learned that specific skill.”
Pause lets out a hoarse laugh. “Good. Probably don’t.”
Beef touches Pause’s cheek, finding it cold. “I’ll get you something to eat. Etho can help you, and I’m going to check the perimeter. Then we’ll all get some sleep.”
“Mhm…” Pause agrees distantly.
Beef moves around the camp’s torch perimeter at speed, taking a probably inefficient way around so he can continuously check on Etho and Pause. It’s stressful to not have them in his sight — he’s not losing them. Not like this. Beef stares out into the dark and has to remind himself that they aren’t even on Mindcrack right now, where perma-death is plenty possible. If they die here, they’re just going to respawn back home.
Or they’re supposed to. Beef had neglected to ask Pause exactly why he had chosen to resurrect Etho, and what the consequences of death here were.
Beef wasn’t in the habit of asking questions when he knew he wasn’t going to like the answer. That could wait for daylight.
When Beef returns to the camp, he finds Etho and Pause curled up together beneath the blankets, Etho fully wrapped around Pause. Beef smiles faintly as he watches them while taking care of the fire, before he’s getting ready to sit watch.
“Beefers.” Etho’s voice makes Beef pause. Their head is raised from Pause’s shoulder. “C’mere.”
“I was going to sit watch for awhile…”
“No.” Etho rejects. “I said, c’mere.”
Another lesson Beef knows well: it’s nigh impossible to win a fight against Etho.
“Fine.”
Beef is relieved to find Pause much warmer when Beef lays down with them, and together he and Etho tuck Pause between them. It’s a familiar thing, the three of them sprawled across each other like this, and the fear holding Beef’s chest in a vice grip finally begins to dissipate.
They’re still together. Everything else can wait ‘till morning.