Chapter Text
-10:00 AM-
“Seven guys just came in with penile injuries?”
“Well, eight,” Javadi said, staring up at him. She bounced on her toes a little, her eyes shiny with what he suspected was the energizing effect of a double espresso, “there’s another man with a swollen penis the size of my forearm in Trauma Three. Unrelated incident. He said it’s been like that for hours.”
“Priapism?” Robby winced at her graphic description, “did he take any ED drugs?”
“Trimix injection he administered himself about nine hours ago,” She confirmed as Jesse rushed past with Princess close behind.
“And the other seven?” Robby asked, staring after them.
“Dr. Abbot is handling. There was an orgy…they said it was a swinger party?”
“It’s ten am on a work day, Victoria,” Robby muttered, “people should be at work.”
“Oh, you don’t have to tell me that, I know.”
She was so young. Eileen’s daughter. Probably didn’t even know what a swinger party was, or any of the other depraved and unsanitary things people did with the bits between their legs. Best not to traumatize her too much. They stared at each other. Javadi tried to smile.
“Right,” He blinked, “unrelated penile injury guy. Lidocaine to the area followed by blood aspiration and saline infusion. Get Langdon to do it.”
“Uh, why?”
“Because I said so,” Robby said, already turning away.
There was an empty exam room at the end of the hall. He stepped inside and locked the door. Maybe it wasn’t too late to order flowers or something. It was just that Jack didn’t seem like the kind of person that would be into flowers. Wine? There was a boutique-y place a few blocks down that offered a nice selection. But he hadn’t ever seen the man drink anything but black coffee since they started working together. Robby put on his reading glasses and squinted at his phone screen.
“Robby.”
Dana poked her head in. He glanced up.
“Five minutes,” He said, “I need to handle something. And can you follow up with the maintenance people about the broken lock for this room?”
The ‘Kraken’ had kicked the handle clean off the door during a manic episode. One of the nurses had secured it back in place with duct tape and a prayer.
“If you’re gonna order last minute chocolates, Abbot’s severely allergic to hazelnuts,” Dana said, folding her arms over her chest.
His eyebrows flew up his forehead. “I’m sorry?”
“Heather texted about your little brainstorming session earlier,” She didn’t look impressed, “I think he’d appreciate a massage, that guy out there. Happy ending or not.”
They peered out of the tiny sliver of window not obscured by the blinds together. Jack was frowning and gesticulating toward the other side of the ED as he spoke with Frank and Mel, his shoulders pulled tight. There was a substantial amount of glitter smeared all over Mel’s left cheek and she was squinting out of one eye.
“Fuck,” Robby muttered.
Dana eyed him critically, “Why are you freaking out?”
“I’m not.” He was. He was totally freaking out.
“Do not tell me you are going to panic break up with him. Because that’s gonna ruin the existing dynamics in my ED and I will punch you somewhere it’ll really hurt, Robinavitch.”
“Dana, that’s not what–”
“I shouldn’t be telling you this, but Abbot swapped his shift with Collins months ago so he could take tomorrow off with you.”
“Oh.”
Butterflies burst in his belly, his heart doing a dizzying series of happy fluttering beats against his ribcage at the unexpected news. Then Dana slapped him upside the head and the little pink bubbles burst all at once.
“You were gonna get wooed, dumbass,” She said, “by our very own knock-off Batman no less. And you went and ruined it.”
“Heather’s cheap Hinge date ruined it.”
“She’s seeing Dr. Evans from Oncology.”
“No fucking way. He’s the reason I’m not getting wooed tomorrow?” Robby groaned, rubbing at the side of his face. “They make enough money between them to get sushi that wouldn’t cause food poisoning.”
“You’re the reason you’re not getting wooed,” Dana said savagely, “no one forced you to take her shift. Parker could have handled it. Stop sabotaging your own relationships.”
“Fine, you’re right. Heather’s also right. It’s all on me,” He worried at his lower lip with his teeth and shook his head. Robby screwed his eyes shut and admitted in a rush of words, “it’s just if I treat tomorrow any differently, something might change. And I’m finally at a place where I don’t feel like walking into traffic everyday after work. And it’s because of the thing with him, but I also feel like I don’t deserve to have this, you know? Jack’s freaking amazing. He’s unflappable, and he’s got all those fancy little tools in his bag. I don’t know where he gets them but they sure as hell work. He’s never let the team down during a crisis, and he goes to the gym on a regular basis. I mean look at me, do I look like I have been within walking distance of a gym in the past five years? The guy even goes to therapy, Dana! You don’t get more perfect than that, right?”
“Jack Abbot’s a middle-aged white man with a missing foot and a failed marriage behind him. Oh, and he’s got a nut allergy,” Dana said flatly, “the boys and girls aren’t exactly killing themselves to get to him, Robby.”
He stopped pacing mid-step and turned to stare at her. “That is an incredibly mean thing to say about a beloved coworker and the man I’m seeing.”
“What I’m saying is, you can have this, you can have him,” Dana rolled her eyes but the look on her face was still fond, “you deserve to be happy.”
“Do I?” He glanced outside again. The group of doctors had dispersed. Abbot was nowhere in sight. “It seems…shitty that I’m happy when the people that come into this place are experiencing the worst day of their lives.”
“What’s the alternative? Punish yourself for the rest of your career?”
“I’ll let you know if I ever figure it out,” He sighed. They both jumped when the door opened to reveal Jack’s scowling face.
“What the hell are you two doing in here? Mel’s got glitter in her eye and Santos had to take over draining blood out of that guy’s penis. Robby, a little support would be nice. I got seven other dick injuries I’m overseeing.”
“Hold on, why is Santos performing the procedure? I told Javadi to get Langdon.”
Jack shrugged, “He’s wiping glitter off of Mel. I’m not getting involved in your beef with Langdon.”
“I also told him not to play favorites, and it's not beef,” Robby protested, “it’s punishment for–”
“Really not interested.”
-11:00 AM-
Santos: omg robby is making cow eyes at him its like watching PDA from your parents
Santos: also i drained like a liter of blood out of a guy’s penis just now
Santos: there are so many dick injuries today holy fuck
Santos: i think we’ve hit a lull down here. wanna grab lunch around 1130? invite dr garcia
Whitaker grimaced down at the slew of messages and typed back: do i have to? His roommate sent an angry face emoji. He swallowed thickly and drew in a shuddering breath. Then, as if making his way to the gallows, Whitaker opened his mouth and called out in a high, tremulous voice–
“Dr. Garcia, would you like to have lunch with me and Dr. Santos?”
-
They gathered on the corner of the roof with slightly soggy sandwiches and room temperature juice boxes left over from the last department-wide social event. It was a nice day out, the sun bright and hot in a cloudless blue sky. The way it was in Nebraska. He missed it sometimes, being out on the farm surrounded by miles upon miles of–
“Someone’s getting pregnant tonight.”
That pulled Whitaker abruptly back down to earth. He choked on his juice box like a toddler and dissolved into loud coughs. Garcia reached over and whacked him on the back without tearing her gaze away from Santos.
“Robby?” She asked, smirking.
“He just gives off certain vibes, you know,” Santos grinned back. “Bottom energy.”
“Se-seriously?” He gasped as he gulped down air.
“What? Don’t tell me you’re gonna tattle on us, Huckleberry. What’s discussed in the sisterhood stays in the sisterhood.”
He blinked. “Am I…am I a sister?”
“Dude,” Trinity said, “you literally have ‘baby girl’ tattooed on your forehead.”
“I’d go with ‘sickly and mysteriously damp Victorian child’,” Garcia commented, “but yes, what’s discussed here stays here.”
“Oh god,” Whitaker whispered, biting nervously into his ham sandwich.
“Anyway, you could cut the sexual tension in the air down there with a knife,” Santos sighed, leaning back and stretching out her legs, “I wonder if they realize how obvious it is.”
“Or maybe you’re just sharp,” Garcia said, “I bet Langdon doesn’t suspect a thing. He could walk in on them making out in one of the supply closets and think Abbot’s just giving Robby CPR or something.”
“We should start a betting pool,” Santos laughed, “think of the money we’d make off of those stupid naive men.”
“I don’t think it’s a question of whether they’re together or not anymore,” A quiet voice said behind them, “you have to up the difficulty. Add brackets or something.”
Whitaker whipped around to find Javadi and Perlah standing there. Victoria pulled out the notebook from under her left armpit.
“Want me to demonstrate?”
-
“Dana, where is everyone?” Robby asked as he rounded the corner and tucked his glasses into a breast pocket. “I can’t find Dr. Santos anywhere.”
“They’re taking a short lunch break,” She said from the nurse’s station, but he was no longer paying attention. Jack had just walked past and Robby caught the unmistaken look of a pained wince.
“Ok, uh, let me know if she comes down, I need her to talk to her priapism patient before he’s discharged,” He muttered as he ran after Jack. “Hey, you.”
“What?”
“You ok?” Robby asked him. The hallway was quiet for a change and no one was watching them, so he pushed Jack into the nearest open room and shut the door behind them. “You’re limping.”
“I always limp. I got one leg, man.”
“Not like this,” Robby dismissed, “are you in pain?”
“Do not coddle me, Robby. I swear to god–”
“Not trying to coddle you, Jack,” He said, “I know you’re the toughest guy here and you hate painkillers and prefer to suffer in silence like a cave man. But can you just sit for a minute?”
Jack did, reluctantly, all the while scowling up at him. “Why?”
“Because I’m asking you, very nicely, to stay put,” He said, already turning to the door, “stay.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a dog, either.”
-12:00 PM-
“Whoa.”
Whitaker stared down at the sea of little squares that Victoria had drawn up in her notebook.
“So,” She tapped a row of descriptions, “the ultimate winner has to get the most items correct.”
“But there are so many details,” Langdon said, staring down at the page with his eyebrows raised. “Who knows which one of them confessed first? The probability of one person getting every choice right is near impossible. You’d have to be stalking one or both of them at all times. And I’m still not convinced this isn’t all just a cruel joke.”
“Then why are you here?” Garcia asked him.
“Out of spite,” He said with a straight face, “Robby’s still being bitchy to me.”
“And he corrected you when you said you were his best friend at work. Again,” Mel said, patting his shoulder with a sympathetic hand.
“I thought I told you not to tell anyone else that, Mel.”
Her eyes went huge. “Oh, sorry.”
“Nevermind.”
“So who did he say was his favorite work buddy?” Santos asked in the ensuing silence.
“Abbot,” Six out of the ten people gathered on the roof said at the same time.
“Did you have a little cry in the men’s room,” Garcia asked Langdon.
“No, but we did talk at length about it in the park over donuts one time,” Mel said brightly. Frank groaned and buried his face in his hands.
“Ok, take a picture of Javadi’s insane little grid, shade in your rosters and send it through the text chain.”
“How much for entry?” Jesse asked.
“Fifty?”
“Oh, I d-don't have cash on me,” Whitaker stuttered out.
“I’ll cover yours,” Trinity said.
“Alright, may the best man, er, person, win,” Langdon said as he slapped a fifty dollar bill into Garcia’s hand.
-
“Seriously?”
“Yes, my manliest man,” Robby said as he carefully got to one knee and pulled out a heat packet, “I stole one of these neat little things from Princess. Come on, take your prosthetic off.”
Jack’s mouth twitched. “Those are for period cramps, Robby.”
“I know, but it's warm and it’ll help with the blood flow,” Robby said patiently and squeezed Jack’s thigh, “let me try this please.”
“Fine,” He grunted and reluctantly pulled up his pant leg. He flinched when Robby touched the knot of scar tissue. The muscles around the area felt tense. “Sorry, extra sensitive today.”
“I got you,” Robby said, gently digging his fingers into the skin. He pressed the heating pad into the back of Jack’s lower leg and heard him groan low in his throat. “Does this count as a massage? Dana said I should give you one for Valentine’s Day. The kind with a happy ending.”
“Did she?” He snorted, fingers flexing restlessly over his left knee before reaching over and gripping Robby’s shoulder. “I’ll need one after the double shift tomorrow that’s for sure.”
“About that…” He kept his gaze firmly on Jack’s leg, “I’m sorry if I ruined any…surprise you may have planned…not that I’m expecting any surprise of the romantic kind. I mean neither of us is a woman and–”
“I was going to cook you dinner, Robby,” Jack said. "And it's not just women who should be treated on Valentine's Day."
He looked up.
“Four course meal, fancy wine, that kind of thing,” He shrugged, his smile a bit resigned, “nothing flashy. No bed of roses, that’d be a pain to clean up, and candles are a fire hazard. I can carry you up the stairs if you’d like.”
“Thank you, Jack, but I would like for you not to end up in our ED with a back injury or a slipped disc.”
“You think I can’t carry you, Big Bird?” He asked.
“I think you can, but not the sexy kind,” Robby snorted at the childish name calling as he massaged the area beneath Jack’s knee, “probably more along the lines of dragging a pig carcass you find off the side of the road?”
That made Jack laugh out loud.
“I’m sorry,” He repeated, “for ruining your surprise, and for not realizing you had a nut allergy all this time.”
“Who said I had a nut allergy?” Jack asked.
“Dana. She said you were super allergic to hazelnuts.”
“Oh,” His face took on a sheepish look, “I lied about that. Damn, I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me.”
Robby blinked. “What?”
“The nurses kept trying to get me to try that disgustingly sweet Nutella shit that people are putting in everything nowadays. Parker even brought the stuff in to replace the regular coffee creamers.”
Robby laughed. “You could just not consume it?”
“Hey man, I’m just doing my part to prevent type II diabetes in our coworkers, ok? I told her I had a severe hazelnut allergy and they got rid of it immediately.”
“Like I told Dana, our most upstanding citizen right here,” He dropped a kiss over Jack’s knee and peered up at him. “You are unhinged, Dr. Abbot.”
“And you love it,” Jack said, flicking him in the ear.
“Yeah,” He shook his head, “there is something terribly wrong with me.”
“I mean for what it’s worth, doing a double shift together on Valentine’s Day is incredibly sexy to me, Dr. Robinavitch.”
“Is it?” He laid his forehead against Jack’s rock-hard stomach and exhaled. “I want more time together,” Robby admitted, breathing in the clean scent of Jack’s favorite soap. He pressed in closer, the rubber-tipped chair legs sliding soundlessly a few inches across the floor. Jack kept holding him. The warm palm on the back of Robby’s neck felt nice. “We barely see each other.”
“Are you asking me to join the day shift because you haven’t stopped staring since we got in this morning and I think the nurses are starting to talk.”
He sounded like he was smiling.
“Maybe?” Robby said, lifting his head. He wasn’t good at asking for things he wanted. “I mean I know you prefer the night–”
“I prefer you,” Jack cut in, “always.”
“That’s–”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, man.”
Robby stared back, mouth agape. “Happy Valentine’s Day, ‘man?’ Put that stupid arm down, Jack. I’m not fistbumping you like a fraternity brother.”
“Sorry,” He said and lowered his hand back into his lap. “Habit’s hard to kick, bro– uh…baby?”
The word hung awkwardly in the air between them. Red was starting to seep up the sides of Jack’s neck. He cleared his throat, muscles clenching and unclenching silently in his jaw.
“Don’t ever do that again,” Robby said finally.
“Oh good,” Abbot’s shoulders relaxed, “thank fuck you’re not into that pet name bullshit, Robby.”
“But you’d do it if I asked?”
“Maybe. I gotta warn you I’ll probably end up walking off the edge of the roof in about a month’s tim–”
Robby cut him off with a kiss. Jack grunted out a tiny protest but opened his mouth to let him in, and fuck, Robby was absolutely whipped for this guy because he’d never done reckless shit like this at work with anybody else. His hand dropped between Jack’s thighs, giving him a firm squeeze over his crotch that made Jack’s hips jump.
“Fuck–”
“Wanna ride you,” Robby confessed, dragging wet kisses down the side of Jack’s neck and making his breath hitch.
“Where is this coming from? Did you steal someone’s sex pills from that orgy pileup?” The tips of his ears were red. It took a lot to get Dr. Abbot flustered in the line of duty. Apparently a few suggestive words did the trick when it came to him. Robby kissed him again, messy and wet and pulling another quiet moan out of Jack.
“No, it’s all you, Dr. Abbot,” He said sweetly, nipping at his jaw.
“You know, we could still give Shen back his favorite day of the year,” Jack murmured, large hands mapping the ridges of Robby’s spine through two layers of clothes, “how about you and me get out of here and spend tomorrow in bed?”
“A whole day, huh?”
“What, you think I can’t keep up with you?”
Robby smiled against his jaw. “I didn’t say that.”
There was a familiar rattling noise from behind. He realized all too late that they were in the room with the busted lock, which had been empty because of said busted lock.
“I’m just grabbing an extra pack of wipes from–”
Robby hastily pulled back.
“Oh fuck,” Whitaker said from the doorway.