Chapter Text
(We, the editors, do not look forward to this footage. It looks like overtime.)
"Is it on? Yeah? Okay."
The screen lights up to show an empty couch. Chatter is heard from behind the view of the camera. Jaehyun shuffles around to be in front of the camera, only for it to fall and shatter. It becomes dead silent.
"Fuck."
(He asked us to leave it in. There were fights.)
Gasps of outrage.
"Did you just swear?"
"Jaehyun! This is a family friendly show!"
"Did you just say what I think you said?"
"You're ruining our image!"
More silence. Then, barely disguised laughter.
"Fine. Our image sucks. Just don't swear. For our PD's sake at least."
(Please... Just one time... We've run out of clean-up budget. Do you know how much it costs to bleep out every third word? DO YOU?)
"Fuck you Sungho."
"Jaehyun!"
(The theme song, But I Like You, plays. It's cheerful. It's upbeat. It's a lie.)
...
The screen lights up, showing a group of six young men squeezing themselves on one couch.
(Is this safe?)
Jaehyun nods smugly from his spot in the middle. "We made a pretty good intro, if I do say so myself."
Riwoo glances at him, looking like judgement personified. "You mean the one where you swear and then we all yell at you?"
Taesan smirks. "The one where it is literally a cracked screen the whole time?"
Jaehyun jumps up. "Hey! You're making it sound bad!"
(I hate to say it, but it wasn't amazing...)
Something must happen off screen, as Jaehyun sighs, and sits back down. Woonhak lights up.
"Does this mean it's my go now?"
He then jumps up, shouting for all the neighbourhood to hear. The other five groan in to their seat.
"Just make Sungho do it. He's so boring he'll actually get it done."
One singular head turns to look Leehan in the soul. The rest stare at the camera, shockingly still. Sungho turns back, but there's a sweat drop visible on Leehan's forehead.
"So, first of all, welcome Onedoor!"
(The mood swings are real.)
The members burst into cheers and claps.
"We have been recording our lives as idols with powers, showing you what it's truly like! We've been shooting since debut, but as of now, we don't know how much will remain as footage. I'm pretty sure Woonhak lost a lot of it a while ago."
Sungho pauses, and a few members laugh into their sleeves. Woonhak attempts to hide from the camera, though it doesn't work well. At all.
(At least he tried?)
"There's also going to be new footage! As we are always recording and ready to go!"
Riwoo nudges Sungho.
"Tell them about the rules."
Sungho scrunches his face up. "I don't wanna do that."
Riwoo turns to look at Jaehyun, who sinks back into the couch so that Riwoo is looking at Woonhak. Woonhak sighs, but seems to accept his fate.
"So... After one too many, um, incidents. Uh, involving our um, powers, we decided to make a rule book. Um, throughout this, uh, thing, we'll like, talk about the rules. And why they came about."
(The stuttering is crazy.)
Silence.
"Didn't you want to talk!?"
"Not about the rulebook! It's embarrassing!"
"Really? You find the fact that you set water on fire embarrassing?"
"Yes!"
"I still don't get why that happened."
(Neither?? The editors also don't get it.)
"Shut up."
"You shut up!"
"Anyway!"
Leehan's voice cuts through the petty arguments. Everyone settles down, though quite reluctantly.
"This season promises...uh... I forgot the word..."
Riwoo perks up.
"Unhinged behaviour?"
Leehan considers this before shaking his head.
"No... That's not it."
Woonhak grins widely at the cameras.
(Oh no...)
"They keeping the illegal stuff in?"
Jaehyun harshly hits him on the shoulder, before whispering something in Woonhak's ear. Woonhak pales. Taesan, who has been staring at a dot on the wall for the past five minutes, mutters something no one can quite make out.
"What'd you say?"
Sungho leans closer to Taesan. He nods along with the whispers.
"He says it was traumatising."
Leehan groans.
"They aren't meant to know that."
"Oh."
Suddenly, he jumps up.
"I got it! This season will be exciting!"
Everyone stares at him blankly.
"You couldn't remember exciting?"
Leehan narrows his eyes.
(CUT THE CAMERAS PEOPLE)
...
The camera cuts.
...
"Do I just- Yes, okay, thank you."
Sungho steps into frame, a large ball of paint now splattered across his chest.
"Well. If I had to say one line about this season? I'd have to think about it..."
Sungho taps his chin.
...
Riwoo sits himself down on a chair.
"This is cool. It's like my own confessional...Oh! It is one! You know, that makes a lot of sense."
Riwoo nods along with himself, as though it wasn't obvious it was a confessional.
"One line about the season?"
Riwoo's eyes go blank and he looks to the ground, as though reliving all the moments they had recorded of him.
...
"AYYY! IT'S YOUR BOY WOONHAK!"
"AND JAEHYUN!"
"WE'RE HERE TO ATTACK!"
"WE'RE GONNA BE NUMBER ONE!"
"...We have to be seperate?"
"Oh."
...
"Sorry, can my cat come in here? She says she doesn't like the vibes out there."
Taesan walks in, holding a delicate looking cat between his arms. He holds her tight against his body, as though scared someone would take her away from him.
"One line for the season?"
...
Leehan shuffles around on his chair, paint dripping off his hair.
"I really do apologise for the mess. It's not really my fault you see-"
He reaches his hand up to flip his hair back, but that only creates projectiles of paint.
"My bad! Um, you wanted one line about the season you said?"
...
Sungho gasps with joy.
"I got it! We make a mess!"
His smile drops.
"That sounded way cooler in my head, I promise."
...
Riwoo looks up.
"I've seen things I can't unsee."
...
Woonhak leans back.
"I'm pretty cool throughout the whole thing."
...
Jaehyun grins wildly at the camera.
"You don't know how much fun we had doing this stuff."
...
"Well then, I'd just like to say I get lots of practice."
Leehan smirks.
...
(We were right.)