Chapter Text
The rest of the evening went way too slow for Mike’s liking. Everything was awkward, and he and Will barely talked. At one point, right before dinner Will said that he’s going to visit his mom and Jonathan, and won’t be back for a while. Mike knew though that he just needed a distraction.
Dinner came and went, and Mike returned to his bedroom. And he waited for Will to come back. Mike knew this could take a while, he knew he had fucked things up. He just wanted to apologise, but that’s kind of hard when Will apparently can’t even stand to be in the same room as him anymore.
Did he really mess up that badly? God he’s such a mess, no wonder Will needed a break. Mike took a deep breath as he tried not to think about it too much.
After a while though Mike was starting to get bored and anxious. What if Will never came back? What if he was completely done with Mike?
Mike could feel it as his breath shortened and he started getting dizzy. He quickly stood up. Fuck he needed some air.
He tumbled downstairs sloppily missing half of the steps. He quickly stumbles over to the kitchen. Water’s gonna help right?
He notices his hands trembling as he fills up the glass. Fuck what’s going on with him? He needs to pull himself together.
He was sweating now. Shit shit shit is all he could think right now. What the hell is wrong with him? Worst part is, he’s completely alone right now. Nobody’s home, not even Will this time.
Before he knew it, he was outside running. He felt really weird right now. It was almost like he was not even there, just kinda hovering around watching as his body was being controlled by fear and not himself.
Mid run he stops to catch his breath, and he almost throws up. His vision is blurry, he can feel his heart pounding way faster than what he thinks is healthy, and it feels like his chest is caving in. It felt like he was gonna die.
Mike doesn’t know how he made it the rest of the way without passing out. But here he was in front of Max Mayfield’s house.
Why her? Why not Lucas who lived conveniently closer, or Dustin who’s smart and would probably tell him he’s fine and just overreacting.
He doesn’t know. But some weird part of him feels like she’d understand. He knocked on the door, silently praying that Billy doesn’t open up.
He’s never been so relieved to see Max as he is now when she opens up the door. “What the fuck are you doing here?” She immediately says upon seeing him like this on her front porch. But her voice doesn’t have that usual snark it almost always does, no it sounds different. And call Mike delusional, but she almost sounds concerned.
It took him a while to get the wounds out, and when he did his voice was quiet and shaky. “Can we maybe..talk?” He waited for a response, but he didn’t get one, Max just ushered him inside.
After she had pulled him to her room and sat him down on her bed she finally began talking. “So genuinely what are you doing here” She asked, looking at him sternly.
He takes his time so try and steady his breathing, but it doesn’t really seem to help cause his words are still shaky. “I messed up.”
“With things with Will.” He doesn’t look her in the eyes, he can’t. He already feels like there’s a thousand eyes on him, he feels like everything in her room is looking at him. He feels like her bedside table is boring eyes into the back of his skull. And her closet is staring at him and judging him.
Max’s voice brings him back to reality. “Messed up how?” She ask’s. “He finally looks her in the eyes, but he can still feel it all staring at him.
“I think I’m in love with him.”
He blurts it out before he can control himself and starts internally panicking. Shit fuck why did he say that?! He can feel his chest caving in again now. Fuck!
He doesn’t like the silence, he doesn’t like anything right now, it all feels wrong, he feels wrong, he is wrong. At Least that’s what everybody says, about being the way he is. Being gay.
He doesn’t like the word, he doesn’t even like thinking about it. He hates it more than he hates himself. And now he’s just admit it to goddamn Max Mayfield. Fuck he’s such a mess.
“Oh.” Is all Max says when she finally speaks. She goes to sit beside him on her bed, pulling her.
Mike pulls his knees up to his chest and hugs his arms around them, trying to give himself some sort of feeling of security.
“Okay so, how did you mess up?” Silence passes around the air for a bit, he doesn’t want to break it, the silence feels secure but He shatters it like glass with his words. “I almost kissed him.”
The silence returns. But it doesn’t feel secure this time, it feels more like judgement.
“Have you tried telling him? About how you feel?” Max questions.
He sniffles, he can feel his eyes watering, it’s embarrassing, he can’t cry in front of her of all people.
“No.” He looks down at his hands like he always does when he doesn’t know where to look. “He ran off after, that.” He answers melancholy.
“I know you don’t want me to say this, but i think you should just tell him how it is.” Mike looks up at her, but even with the tears in his eyes her expression doesn’t change. “Come on Mike. He’s been your best friend for like 7 years. Even if he doesn’t feel the same way, he won’t hate you. He’ll still be your friend. He’s still gonna care for you.”
He wipes his eyes with the sleeve of his dark hoodie. “I guess you’re right.” “I’m just afraid,” he says.
Max looks at him intently. “Like I said Mike, There's nothing to be afraid of, he loves you. Platonic or not.”
He looks away. “I know, it’s not that I’m afraid of his feelings..” “I'm afraid of my own.” He says the last part quietly, so quiet that he might not even hear it himself. If no one hears it it’s not real. Right?
But it is real, his feelings are real, and there’s nothing he can do about them.
He takes a deep breath, and notices that it actually feels like he can breathe again.
“Okay.” He says he doesn’t know why he says it, or who he says it to. “I’m gonna tell him. When he comes back. If he comes back.” He murmurs.
“Good. Go figure out your shit Wheeler.” Max’s voice sounds next to him. “But seriously, I hope you guys figure it out. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I care for you too.” She says, and her sarcastic tone isn’t there anymore. Now it’s just her.
“Thank you.” He sniffles again. “But ew, don’t say that again. You. Max Mayfield care about me? Mike wheeler?” He says, and he actually manages to let out a giggle.
“Okay fuck you, you can leave now.” She replies back. “Come on, get out of my house now and go find your boyfriend.” She says, pulling him up from the bed.
He quickly tries to find his balance after getting pulled. He also very much so tries to ignore what she said.
When he goes out the front door he decides to look back at her. “Seriously. Thank you.” The setting sun casts streaks of light shining on her amber coloured hair.
“Yeah yeah, you’re welcome.” Her voice has a false bored tone, but Mike can see a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
The walk home was much nicer than the walk there. Both after having talked, and actually told someone. But also considering the fact that he could breathe again.
He doesn’t know why or when it started but he soon realises he’s humming and slightly singing along to the tune of a familiar song.
“Mother will never understand why you had to leave. But the answers you seek will never be found at home. The love that you need will never be found at home.”
“Run away, turn away, run away, turn away, run away.”
When he gets the chance he’s gonna get out of this town. He needs to get out of this godforsaken town.
He wants to move to the big city, buy a nice apartment or house to live in. He would rather have a house that he could make a home. His home. Maybe even have a home with Will.
He’s getting ahead of himself again now. But still, there’s always a chance.
When he returns home he doesn’t even bother telling his mom where he went even though he knows she’s gonna ask. He goes straight up to his room and flops dramatically down onto his bed.
Will still isn’t here. Mike tells himself that it’s fine. He’s gonna get another chance to talk to him. Everything is gonna be okay.
He’s not really sure what to do now that he can’t talk with Will about whatever comes to mind. He sort of realises how lonely it is without him. He had started getting used to the feeling of always having him close by his side. Or that he would be in his arms when he woke up.
Mike hugs his arms around himself trying to bring the warmth Will gave him on his own.
It doesn’t work, of course it doesn't, what did he expect.
He’s not aware how much time has passed, he’s only aware that it’s dark outside now, and the downstairs noise is gone, so his family must be asleep.
He’s not tired but he can feel his eyelids getting heavy and his body sinking deeper into his bed, and before he knows it he’s fast asleep.
He didn’t dream that night, at least not from what he remembers. But he did feel slightly disappointed when he woke up and realised Will still hadn’t returned.
He didn’t eat breakfast even when his mom burst into his room to tell him to get downstairs and eat with the family.
He stayed in his room. He didn’t wanna do anything else, he didn’t ever bother getting up to chance from the clothes he had slept in. He practically just stayed in bed the whole day.
It was around four PM when he finally heard a knock on his window.
He shoots up from his bed and hurries over, quickly opening his window. Mike had no words. Wil was there. But he was really really there this time.
His beautiful olive skin was back to normal, his cheeks had colour again, a rosy tint on them. His ruffled brunette hair shined golden under the sun. And his eyes. . God his beautiful eyes were back to normal. His beautiful hazel eyes that Mike could stare at for hours.
“Uhm, can I come in?” Will asks, breaking Mike out of his internal trance.
“Yeah uh, of course come on. .” Mike’s voice is a bit shaky. When did this happen? Holy shit Will is really here.
Will gently pulls himself through the window and into Mike's room. He just stands there on the floor for a moment, but he then crashes into Mike's arms, pulling him into a deep and tender hug.
It’s long and warm. It feels like rays of sunshine are coming straight from Will’s heart and shining into Mike's skin.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just left like that, it wasn’t about you okay?” Will whispers into Mike's ear before letting go of Mike and stepping back from the hug.
“It’s okay.” Mike replies back quickly. He misses the warmth of the hug. He lets out a shaky breath. “So Uhm when did. . . This happen.?” He questions, gesturing to Will.
Will looks down at the floor. “About an hour ago.” He replies back. “I was gonna go back to your house, but right as I was about to leave my mom said she could see me. Fully. So I hugged her and Jonathan. Then I told her I needed to go back to your house. Sorry it took so long.”
Mike stands there looking at Will explaining. He can’t stop looking at him. He can’t believe he’s actually back. “You don’t need to apologise.” Mike replies back before he forgets to reply anything.
“I’m just happy you’re back.” Mike says, his voice low and soft.
“I’m glad you want me back.”
Will goes to sit down on the bed and Mike follows sitting down opposite him.
There’s silence for a while, neither of them say anything but Mike can tell they both want to. He’s not sure how to start this conversation, he’s not even sure what conversation he’s gonna be starting.
Max's words linger in his mind. Mike knows she’s right. Even if he doesn’t feel the same, he won’t be mad. They’ll still be friends.
He takes a deep breath before speaking. “Could we maybe go for a walk? I wanna talk to you about something. If that’s okay with you.” He decides it might be easier to confess to Will outside than in his old childhood bedroom.
Will looks startled by the suggestion, but quickly accepts it. “Oh, um sure.” He sounds a little bit nervous. Mike can’t blame him.
They go downstairs quietly and don’t say anything while putting on shoes and jackets. It’s only once they’re both outside that Will speaks up.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” He asks. Mike looks over at him. With a shaky breath he answers. “I- could we maybe go somewhere? I think it would be easier for me to say.”
Will nods slowly, but he doesn’t look at Mike. He keeps his gaze focused on the ground. “Okay.”
After about 10 minutes of walking Mike finds himself at the place he would sometimes go to think or if he needed to be alone.
Mike looks out over the quarry breathing in the cold every winter air.
The sun's already starting to set again. And he and Will stand there looking at the sunset for a bit. Mike knows Will is waiting for him to say something.
He takes a deep breath and looks down on the ground. He can’t look Will in the eyes right now, no matter how much he loves them.
“So, I just think we should maybe talk about what happened. You know, before you left.” They aren’t standing that close, but Mike can still feel Will tense up next to him.
“What do you mean?” Will asks. Mike knows Will knows exactly what he means. “Come on Will, you know what I mean.” Mike's voice is gentle and quiet.
Silence again.
“I wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. And I’m sorry if I weirded you out. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m just sorry.” Mike also stuffs his hands into his jacket pockets, just to do something with his hands.
Will lets out a shaky breath next to Mike. “You don’t need to apologise.”
Mike can feel his eyes watering again, and he blames it on the wind even though there’s barely any right now.
“No, you don’t understand.” The tears are falling down onto his cheeks now and he tries to look the other way to hide them from Will.
“Mike, come on what do you mean? I- I’m sorry but I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.” Will breathes out the words, his breath visible in the cold air.
“I wouldn’t mind. . Kissing you.”
There. It’s been said. Fuck.
“And- and I know that you think that it’s weird and gross and that I’m disgusting and wrong, and I understand if you hate me! But please I just needed you to know. I know it’s wrong, I know im wrong, and god Will, I’m sorry for feeling like this, I’m sorry I know this is probably gonna ruin everything between us but-”
His waterfall of words are stopped by Will’s hands gently coming up and cupping Mike's cheeks. His fingers are warm even in the cold, and Mike can feel his cheeks heating up.
Will looks him in the eyes, and the golden sunsets cast a beautiful glow across his skin.
“Mikey. I could never hate you. Never.” The nickname shoots a shiver down Mike's spine, but Will’s words are gentle and pure. And for a while Mike lets himself believe them.
Will removes his hands from Mike's cheeks, and pulls him into a hug.
Mike is so taken aback by it, that for the first 20 seconds or so he doesn’t hug him back. But when he does, it feels so right. It’s probably the best hug he’s had, ever. It was a silence louder than words, wrapped in warmth.
It felt safe. It felt like home.
Mike lets the tears fall now, he lets himself cry. He hasn’t done that in a long time. Will just hugs him tighter. He doesn’t tell Mike that everything is gonna be okay, because they can’t know that for sure.
“I wouldn’t mind either.” It’s quiet. A whisper into Mike's ears, but it makes everything stop. It makes Mike's head explode with a million different thoughts.
Mike pulls slightly apart from the hug, not completely, but enough to look Will in the eyes. He’s crying too now.
“What.?”
“I wouldn’t mind kissing you either.”
Mike doesn’t have time to respond. Will’s lips suddenly press into Mike's own. Warmth immediately spreads all throughout Mike’s body.
It’s tender, sweet and emotional all at once. Every second that passes it feels like they melted into each other more and more.
Mike's heart was pounding and everything inside him fluttered. Will’s lips on his own felt like pure melted gold.
They pull apart for a moment to breathe. The ghost of Will's lips lingered on Mike's, and he already misses the warmth.
What does he say? There’s so much he wants to say. No words escape his lips though, and he finds himself pulling Will's face closer and kissing him back. The kiss heals something deep inside Mike. It sounds corny, but Mike feels alive again.
They slowly pull apart again, and it feels like they’re staring right into each other's soul.
Mike lets out a quick breath. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while.”
“Yeah?” Will’s lips curve into a smile, and Mike can feel his face mirroring it.
“Yeah.”
Mike grabs Will’s hands and threads their fingers together.
For a while they stand still like that. Hand in hand. Admiring each other. The setting sun at the quarry. Everything felt right. Mike felt right. For the first time in his life, he felt like he had done something right, he felt like he belonged here. Not in hawkings. Just anywhere Will was.
“Thank you. For everything Will. Thank you for being the only person to genuinely care for me like that.” The two of them had slowly started walking home. Their fingers still intertwined.
Will looks up at Mike. “Thank you. For bringing me back to life. Physically and emotionally.”
“What now?” Mike asks. Because what’s gonna happen now? To them. To Will. It’s not easy coming back from the dead twice and having to explain that. To be honest he probably won’t be able to live in Hawkins anymore.
Will lets out a deep breath. “I’m not sure. But whatever happens we’ll figure it out. And if shit goes crazy then we’ll go crazy together right?” Will has the sweetest smile on his face, and Mike can’t help but return it at the reminder of their old conversation.
“Yeah, crazy together.”
And that was all that needed to be said. They had each other, and no matter what happened, they always would. And that was enough.