Chapter Text
She usually doesn’t dream.
Her dreams are normally nonexistent, her mind skipping her to the moment she woke up by the time she fell asleep.
Then why is she back in that middle school bathroom? Why is her back pressed against the wall and there’s tiles from the bathroom under her nails?
She hears shrill laughter from above her and feels something slimy forming on her head. Her hair sticking down onto her scalp as she feels tears well up in her eyes.
This was one of the worst days of her life.
The same day her bullies started burning her thighs was when blood poured from her head. One of them, the leader, laughed as blood slicked on her face. Straightener in a hand with long nails as it clamps down on her thigh.
They’re laughing at her right? She doesn’t want to look up and there’s a hand placed over her mouth to muffle her screaming.
It hurts.
It hurts.
It hurts.
A hand grabs her hair to force her head to look up, a massive gash ran on her temple as blood poured down the side of her face. Her nose sprouting with black and blue and running red with blood as well.
“Hey look! Her soulmate’s at it again!”
Mismatched eyes call out to her friends, shaking her head. Mocking her with a big smile that she can’t remember how it looks because there’s blood covering one of her eyes.
They’re laughing at them. Her soulmate. Her marks.
It was one of the times she tried fighting back at the three girls. A feat that didn’t happen often throughout middle school due to them punishing her for even thinking she deserved to ever raise a hand against them.
Scratching at the face that is closest to her as she cries not to say that about her soulmate. She’s a broken record honestly, begging and angry that they say that about her soulmate.
That’s where the dream ends and when she wakes up in a cold sweat. Her breaths short and panicked as she rips the blankets off and stumbles into her bathroom. There’s still glass on the floor but she maneuvers around it to wash her face.
It’s been a few days since she saw her middle school bullies.
(Ever since she talked to Wolf.)
It was quiet.
This was fine with her, she was used to quiet. She was used to quiet and being alone. Used to bruises appearing on her face when she went to shower.
She was used to that.
She thought she was fine with that.
Changing her personality and outfit going into high school was okay. Even if her soulmate didn’t go to Ganghak, that was fine. Even if she only had one friend, she was okay with all of this. She didn’t mind being a social outcast as long as it was quiet.
But now without a certain magenta haired boy, she didn’t know if she was anymore.
He barreled into her life unapologetically and disappeared just as fast. Filling her days for the past few weeks with teasing and shoves at her shoulder. It made her discontent with the life she thought she was okay with, just waiting patiently for her soulmate.
Wolf lit a fire in her chest and blew on the flames with a grin until she was on fire in front of him. And when he let her go so easily, he stomped out the embers until there was nothing left.
When she returned the next day for school, Wolf didn’t approach her. Not even once. Not when school got let out and not when she went to cram school. The feeling that he was going to drag her away from her class was absent as she took notes.
For some reason, she missed the asshole. Deep down in the darkest crevices of her wants, she wants him to shake her shoulders and tell her to never do that again. Bother her at school or twist her wrist again just to be annoying.
Anything.
Even though she was the one who cut him off, she felt herself more hurt than he probably did. The guy most likely didn’t even care. It was shown in the way he didn’t bother meeting her eyes and looked almost completely calm in the hallways when she did catch glimpses of him.
He was indifferent to most things, even things in the Union which she blanched at when he barked out orders into his phone. He’d be annoyed about her being so shocked that he didn’t give a shit about almost anything. Gesturing to his shirt and fists when she asked what he did care about.
Wolf was a rough, emotionally stunted teenage boy. He probably didn’t care about someone like her. Someone who cried in front of him and someone who was too pussy to do anything when faced with people who treated her so awfully.
She knew him eerily well, knowing he loved chasing adrenaline. That when he got bored or lost interest in things, he’d jump ship or beat whoever he needed to jump ship. Complaining a lot about the Union these days and about, as her friend called him, Donald Na.
Even though Wolf lit the bonfire in her chest, he lost interest in her the past few weeks they knew one another.
Maybe she really was just entertainment to him.
She holds tight to this idea so that his absence doesn’t make her cry. Even though she still hasn’t cleaned up her bathroom and there are still glass shards on the floor cutting her feet when she walks in. Holding tight to the idea that her soulmate will fix her heart when she meets them.
(That her soulmate will fill the hole that Wolf carved out forcefully into her heart.)
Their little routine goes on for a few days. Bleeding into the next week and sweeping up the glass shard when her mom yells at her for breaking the mirror in the first place.
They both pretended the other did not exist even though whispers around were questioning what happened to the two so called delinquents. Recognizing their partnership whenever he’d pull her away to the rooftop or some people who went to the same cram school as her.
No one dared to ask the girl, not having as much of a reputation as him. More of a social outcast.
Some people asked the other delinquent when he’d kick his feet up on his desk. People in the classroom turn with dropped jaws to see if Wolf really answers the person asking. The boy with a bandaged face turns his head to look at them. Begging for them to break his 3 second rule so he has an excuse to use his fists for anything. To burn off this feeling that the girl let drown him.
It’s then, the poor soul who dared to question him, bows and apologizes before running away to their own classroom. There’s even more whispers that they could have been dating and broken up, before they’re shut up by Wolf himself. His eye twitching as he sneers at them, deliberately going for the person’s soulmate mark.
Because anyone with half a brain knows that if you mention soulmates around Wolf Keum, you’re willingly putting a finger on his trigger and shooting yourself in the foot.
Whenever people tried to talk shit to him while fighting, if they brought up his lack of a soulmate mark; they got it the worst. Not giving a shit about how many people, as if the pull of the person’s insult dragged him to them like a puppet on strings.
This piece of information was well known on the shuttle patch and to people who hung around the Union. Not vital enough to go around to everyone but well known enough for it to appear in gossip among students at different schools.
…
Sometimes she’d see Wolf in the hallways and he wouldn’t even look at her. His two subordinates following after him, one that she recognized more and the other looking like a shitty emo singer from the early 2000’s. Brushing her shoulder with just enough force to make her heart spiral out of control. She’d give herself a few seconds of looking at him from under her hair, something unexplainable twisting her lips under her mask.
But then she’d see the way his orange haired subordinate would throw a look in her direction, right over his shoulder without Wolf or the other one realizing. Looking as if he’s pleading for her to do something before switching back to normal, the hardened look of a full grown man because his build is insane for a 17 year old.
It kinda scared her but the ache in her chest when she saw Wolf triumphed over any other feelings. It made her heart burn and she half hated half despised him for making her feel this way when her soulmate was obviously doing awfully.
Bruises appearing on her face more often now, almost as much as she sees Wolf with bandages covering his face in the hallways. Her soulmate must be going through a rough patch as well, her only solace from losing the person who talked to her the most. Even if it was almost always whenever Wolf wanted and went against her school and social life.
She forgives her soulmate for taking up space in her heart. Like she always does. So much so that she pushed Wolf away for them when she felt that he was nearing too close to the most tender parts of herself.
Running a hand down her face when she’s alone in the bathroom at school, closing her eyes. Mask off as her lip splits and she licks her lip to stop the bleeding. Her eyes look at herself, smiling wearily.
Are you okay, soulmate?
I hope you figure everything out.
When we meet, I'll kiss you all better.
Her thoughts come to a halt when there is talking outside the bathroom and she hurries to put back on her mask and washes her hands so she can leave.
When a suffice amount of days had gone by, she was walking with her friend. Their shoes clicking side by side as her friend hangs onto her arm. The girl was obviously very satisfied that Wolf was not taking away her only friend anymore. Sticking to her side everyday even if she seemed more sad these days.
“Did Wolf finally let you off the loose?” Her voice asked as they sat down in the lunchroom, smiling at the girl whose face was covered.
“Guess so.”
She didn’t want to tell her the truth even though her friend would have been ecstatic. So she listens to her friend ramble on and on and lets herself smile. Yes, this is enough. She did not need Wolf and she could be content with just this.
Smiles under her mask with her friend and waiting until the day came she met her soulmate and make them bow to her knees and make them understand what she was going through. And then eventually burn everything she had left from her and kiss them with everything she had. Because no matter what, that’s still your soulmate.
Eventually, she’ll forget the most prolific delinquent from her school ever talked to her and she will be at peace.
(Her expression is hidden behind hair and a mask when a familiar rubbed out lighter appears on her desk after lunch. It seems that Wolf is intent on stomping on all the embers before they’re all out.)
…
Wolf was definitely at peace. Usually he didn’t see a point in thinking too much about anything, people thought he was mindless but really, he just didn’t care. He didn’t care about a girl with a mask and hair covering those eyes that were teary looking up at him. He didn’t care that those eyes looked down at him sitting at that table and told him to leave her alone.
He didn’t care that it reminded him of his father telling him to marry a widow and he didn’t care that he abided by her words like a goddamn mutt.
What was he expecting?
Her to turn around and cry as she begs him to forgive her?
No, the girl apparently has more balls than he thought and sticks to her words. His eyes are always looking for her now, when he felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle. His eyes darting around the room until he saw her sitting at a table with her friend, leaning forward as her friend grasped her hand.
No he didn’t fucking care.
Which is why his subordinates watch as he started beating on some fucking guy who looked at him for 3 seconds too long like always. This is normal. He’s always beat people up this much.
He always has.
He ignores the stares his subordinates give one another, one concerned and one a little terrified. When they go out to blow off the rec funds for that month, his subordinates talk as they order the luxurious food and drinks.
Wolf sips quietly on his drink that Hwangmo mixed together for him, a slightly concerned look to him. He pointedly ignores it for the slight respect he has for his subordinate dealing with his attitude lately.
No one comments on the way his fingers clench around his glass when one of the others utter about their girlfriend texting him. The implication of his soulmate clear and on the wrist that’s holding the phone. The soju beer combination going down his throat as he checks himself out of the conversation.
Someone hands him a pen, asking if he wants to hit it. He doesn’t care, inhaling the smoke into his lungs before he blows it out. Leaning his head back onto the cushion before closing his eyes and handing the pen back to someone’s outstretched hand.
His mind drifts off from the conversation he’s currently listening to, back to someone else. The yellow hue from the light making him squint and close his eyes, his long sleeve KANZO shirt making his wrists itchy. As his mind slowly mixes together in a combination of alcohol and weed, he can’t help but think of the thing he’s been distracting himself from.
…
He hasn’t talked to her in a couple days.
His fists reach another person’s face before he can even think about her again, how she took his fucking heart and dangled it in front of his eyes. Teary eyed. Acting like she didn’t want to do it.
Bullshit.
She looked him straight in the eyes, before bowing like she was sorry. Running away from him before he could even blink. Not like he would have done anything. He ain’t a fucking dog.
No, Wolf Keum doesn’t fucking chase.
He takes.
Yet, she’s bound his hands behind his back with her voice. Brought him to his knees just by her insults and that look in her eyes when she’s annoyed with him. Muzzled him with a laugh that made him want to strangle the closest other person to him. Fuck, he didn’t even know what she really looked like until a fucking week ago.
But no.
He can’t take her.
Because he’d rather die than see that teary look in her eyes again. He’d chew through the muzzle over his mouth before something fills her eyes that’s anything close to real loathing for him. He’d rather let himself be beat than make her choose him when he knows she’s been saving herself for her soulmate.
Soulmate this. Soulmate that.
He hopes whoever is her soulmate is chokes on a dick. He hopes they’re a fucking piece of shit so she comes back to him. Crying in his arms about how awful! How terrible her soulmate is! And then he punches their fucking teeth in because he hates seeing her look so pitiful.
But no, she’s not his.
She’s not his because some stupid ass fucking god said so.
Because she’s “destined” for someone else.
What a fucking joke.
He bets he could change that jury in the star’s minds by proving he’d carve a way for him to be hers. She’s the only person he’s met that he’s ever bothered to know this much. The only one who wasn’t terrified of the floor he steps on. She doesn’t admire his strength, she makes fun of him and laughs while she does it.
Oh god, and her face when he pulled that piece of fabric off her mouth. Her cheeks wet with tears and a flush appearing on them. It must have been a cruel punishment to give him something so alluring before ripping it away within 30 fucking minutes .
He hates this.
He hates her .
He’s fucking stuck on a stupid girl who will never be his. Who he knew had a soulmate because of course she did. Because of course Wolf shouldn’t have expected anything more. He’s soulmateless. He knows that.
And he still let her hang around him so much that he got attached. It was only a few weeks but it was enough for him to be put under a spell. Before she put a leash on him, tying it around some post in the middle of nowhere, and driving away for good. Kicking him away like a dog that’s not needed by the family anymore.
Humiliated by a girl who hunched her shoulder to look smaller. Hair that covered his eyes so he can’t really see her. Mask covering her lips that spoke stupid or kind words to him.
Because his parents were right. He doesn’t have a soulmate and they’ll make him marry a widow no matter what. The Union can’t fix this. His standing won’t change anything. No matter how much designer he gets or how many people fear his name.
Just a pathetic little fuck who can’t even keep the girl he likes.
…
He leaves the reserved room with a grunt, the room spinning as the weed settled and way too many glasses of that soju and beer combination hitting him right over the head. His face flushed as he reached the bathroom and retched in the nearest toilet. The light too bright and his glasses are held in his hand as the other braces the rim of the toilet to push himself to his feet.
He stumbled to the sinks, putting his glasses to the side. His breathing heavy as the room is still spinning around him. Rinsing his mouth and coughing up spit from the back of his throat and right into the drain.
He vaguely thinks about drunk texting her but decides he’s not drunk enough to completely throw away every ounce of his pride.
When he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he thinks he looks quite fucking pathetic. His hair sticking up and his lower eyelashes a bit wet from gagging on vomit. He must not be sleeping lately because there are slight bags under his eyes too.
(When did he start looking so pitiful?)
His forehead leans forward before it rests on the cool of the mirror. Alone in this bathroom at a club, he imagines soft hands on his face and a voice in his ear. Making fun of the big bad wolf because he’s not fucking scary like this. Giving himself this one thing.
Before he snaps his eyes open and slams his knuckles into the mirror, breaking it. The glass falling around him as he spits on the shards. He dries his face, slips his glasses back on, and walks back to the reserved room to keep eating while his subordinates talk about shit that does not matter. Ignoring the stares his left hand gets for bleeding profusely and he just wipes it on his shirt.
…
It’s now two weeks since he hasn’t talked to her. Not that he’s keeping track or anything.
Him and Hwangmo were walking back from a meeting he had with Baekjin, their shoes scraping against the sidewalk. It’s around the time that her cram school would have started. The sky is cloudy, looking as if there’s going to be a storm. Neither him or his subordinate really care, walking languidly as the orange haired boy follows behind him.
Then, there’s a mutter of “ what the hell is she doing? ” from his subordinate behind him. Wolf doesn’t bother turning his head to see the emotion on the boy’s face, not before seeing a figure running towards them. As they got closer, he could see who it was; stopping him in his tracks.
A flash of annoyance passed through his face at being stopped.
There was a girl in front of him. Not the girl he was praying would get back to her senses and apologize to him but a sweaty girl with glasses. Panting and holding her knees.
Her eyes refused to look up at him. Obviously, she knows who he is because of her nonexistent eye contact and the color of her blazer.
“Please…”
It tumbles from her lips, out of breath. She can’t even continue because this girl is so out of breath. Her hair pulled to a ponytail behind her head as he can see the soulmate mark on her cheek. He can hear Hwangmo beside him now grunt out a, “ fuck do you want? ” Her hands steel themselves against her skirt as it bunches at her fists.
He almost skirts around her so he can continue back to walking. Before the rain can catch him.
Then the sound of a familiar name rings out in the air.
It's like an alarm blares in his head. It’s fucking loud and annoying and he can’t hide the way his eyes widen. She looks familiar now, the friend who he’d steal her away from. The one who almost always had a dramatic reaction to her friend being whisked away by Wolf himself. He doesn’t pay attention to Hwangmo’s dropped jaw at the sound of her name.
What.
The girl falls to her knees, her hands on the sidewalk as Hwangmo stutters. Her heartfelt attitude shooting straight into the heart of his rough looking subordinate. A drop of sweat falls down her temple as she keeps her head down. Desperate and at her last option but not stupid enough to look him in the eye.
“I tried to talk to her but she was with other girls!”
What she’s saying is incomprehensible. Why the fuck is she telling him? It’s her friend. It’s not his problem, he basically doesn’t even fucking know her. He doesn’t owe people and when he does, it’s for his benefit.
These thoughts almost come out of his mouth before she opens hers again.
“Then- then they burned her finger! I didn't know what to do!! They just pulled her hair and made her follow them!!”
A flash of remembrance of those girls who cornered her on the sidewalk floods his mind like a broken dam. Cigarettes in front of her and flinches when any one of them touched her. Her voice small and quiet and he could barely hear her.
The girl below him sputtering out sentences, frantic and tripping over her words. Hwangmo’s hands hover over her, not knowing if he should comfort her or not. But the mad dog stares with wide eyes and deathly still.
“I tried to follow but some big scary guys stopped me!”
His usual indifference broken with a snap because of her words. Puncturing through his callous persona with just a few words. This shouldn’t be his problem. Didn’t she say she never wanted to see him again? For her soulmate?
Then why is his heart pounding? The blood rushing in his ears and drowning out the girl’s pleas and begs for him to follow them. Her forehead pressed to the pavement at his feet. He can only stare down with a twitch in his eye.
He wants to refuse. To tell her to fuck off out of his way. That the delinquent looking girl is not his problem. She can take care of herself. Her soulmate should be the one to do this shit, not him. He doesn’t help charity cases unless it’s personal.
And this is not personal.
…
Well!
This is fine!
There’s a hand wrapped around her wrist like an anaconda. Threatening to trap her neck next. They’re dragging her to some abandoned warehouse, very typical story beats she’s seen before. She almost applauds them for being so unoriginal.
But she doesn’t because she’s really scared and there are guys following the three girls and herself. Because she can try thinking about her situation as if it weren’t happening to her. But the truth is that her middle school bullies are older and have only gotten worse.
A silent promise in the auburn eyes of the worst one. Eyes flickering back to the boys following them. A sense of dread fills her stomach and coils up into her throat like nothing else can. The implication is clear and makes her rub her burnt fingertips over her knuckles. Where her soulmate mark undoubtedly is because her soulmate has been having it rough lately.
She apologizes to them.
Because If these boys do what her bullies want to her, her soulmate will undoubtedly see the bruises. Ruining the loyalty she’s held for her soulmate so genuinely. She never wanted to be a burden on them, not purposefully. But she could not stop the barrage of burns from cigarettes before and she won’t be able to stop them now.
They had cornered her before she could enter the door of her classroom at cram school. One of them in the neighboring one, recognizing her mask and fingerless gloves. Shoving her back and it reminded her of a delinquent who used to do the same thing.
Except there’s no voice calling her girlie and laughter as he finds pleasure in annoying her.
Just a there you are ! In a shrill voice that made her freeze up before she can even react. A hand squeezes the collar of her school uniform as she’s shoved into someone’s side. The lackey of the girl with auburn eyes smiling down at her. One of her tormenters in middle school.
She drags her outside where the other two wait.
The tears that are about to well up in her eyes never do because she’s learned they like when she cries. A hand with manicured nails wraps a hand over her jaw and shoves her head up for her to look at them. Three pairs of eyes stare down at her with smiles on their faces. As if they just found an old toy to play with.
The main leader smoking a cigarette while the other two smoke vapes. She’s surrounded by all sides as they shove her along the sidewalk. Her hand opens and closes the zippo lighter in her pocket. Her only solace in this awful situation.
She hates that it is her only solace because didn’t she tell Wolf to leave her alone? Doesn’t he not care about her anymore? Why does she bother fidgeting with the lighter that appeared back on her desk?
She doesn’t care that Wolf saved her once from her silly bullies. The fact he scared them off and tried in his own fucked up way to make her feel better after. It’s not realistic for him to save her and she will not go back on her word because as Wolf would say, that’s pussy behavior.
(She ignores that little voice in the back of her head sobbing and begging Wolf to come and get her.)
When they reach the warehouse, the girls shove her down onto the dirty concrete ground. Cackling at how pathetically she sits there, her breath hot in her mask and her hair mussed with. It feels sickeningly familiar and she can’t help the whimper that leaves her lips when one of them raises a hand in her direction.
The door is opened by the three boys who look stronger and more scarier. One of them carry the blues hues that used to be so familiar to the eyes she knew so well in middle school. They close the door and stand off to the side, letting the girls take the spotlight as they smoke.
“Hey, wanna know something?” Auburn eyes stare into her soul as her hair is forced back. Eyes staring into hers.
“I found my soulmate. He’s my perfect match.” She coos down at her with a sick smile. Her eyes flicker to the tallest of the bunch, eyes flickering back to her. Examining his soulmate’s little play thing.
“Yours doesn’t even give a shit to find you here.” Her hand curls into her hair and forces her cheek onto the ground. A cough leave her lips before another hands pulls down her mask, revealing a bruise on her cheek. They’re laughing at her again. Hilarious that her soulmate is humiliating her like this.
But that’s not right.
Because her soulmate is not an embarrassment to who she is.
“You don’t know that.”
She dares to mouth off to her old bully. A soft whimper of words, cracking under the trauma of reliving the worst days of her life. Tears prick at her eyes as she forces the words out. This earns her a scoff and a laugh. Her hair is pulled up, forcing her to look at the person inciting this abuse.
“You think I don’t? How about all those times in middle school? Why didn’t he save you then huh? You’re fucking pathetic.”
At the last sentence, she’s thrown back down onto the ground like a ragdoll. A whine of pain leaving her lips as she curls up. Her mask dangling from one ear as the girl pulls her collared shirt of her uniform up, grinning down at her. A cigarette in her fingertips as she hovers it over the girl’s stomach.
Her friends holding her down as she thrashes around, shaking her head. The boys are staring at her and she could almost beg out loud for someone to save her. She may have grown up and she may be older but she’s still that middle schooler begging for her soulmate to save her.
After this is done, your soulmate won’t even wanna fucking touch you.
Before the cigarette reaches her stomach, the door to the warehouse opens. The boys who are standing off to the side raise an eyebrow as they see someone appear. Someone soaked in rain water because it started raining and thundering outside. Falling deaf to the ears of the girl curled up on the ground.
One of the boys barks out, asking who he is. For him to get out because it’s not his business. Just walk away and he won’t get hurt. The boy with a soaked designer jacket stands there as he lazily cracks his neck while looking around.
Eyes catching sight of three girls standing over one who’s lying there. They’re all staring at him with shock and surprise. He doesn’t really care though, staring more at the girl on the ground. Needing the confirmation that’s required for him to give a shit about anyone here.
A whimper leaves the girl’s lips as she cranes her head to see who it is. Standing there meeting her eyes are familiar frames that have water coating them. Dripping down his face as his lips curl into a mocking smile.
“Shit… Found ya, girlie.”
An amused voice breathes out loud enough for her to hear as the figure stands in the doorway of the warehouse. The boy taking off his glasses and hanging them on a rusted nail sticking out of the wall. Wolf Keum stands there unbothered in his soaked clothes and slicked down purple hair.
A sneer on his lips as he glances around at the guys who are supposed to be a mockery of defense.
“Need three guys to cover for girls ? You all dickless or what?”