Chapter Text
Atsushi Nakajima was scurrying around the hallways, attempting to find a library room that wasn’t filled with all the loud and annoying rich kids. There had to be one library that was actually quiet. There SHOULD be! It’s a school isn’t it? So right now after seeing another library that was loud and full of pretentious rich people he was making his way down the hallway and saw the music room, it didn’t sound like there were a ton of people in there so it was promising?
…
It was not promising, there were six expensive looking men in the school uniform and they all stared at Atsushi like he was an animal at the zoo. Atsushi had just run into the host club's club room…
“This is a host club?!” Atsushi muttered in distress as he pushed himself back against the door to keep as far away as possible and tried to find the door handle so he could leave. He knew a couple of the guys since they were in his class but he didn’t talk to them, he didn’t talk to really anybody at this school. A few of the six guys had, very loudly, said “it’s a boy?!” as they gazed at him.
“Well that’s not very polite. Welcome to the ouran host club, Mr. honor student.” A guy with long blonde hair that was in a ponytail and had red glasses had said to him with a smooth and even his voice sounded expensive!
“No way! You must be Atsushi Nakajima. You’re the exceptional honors student we’ve heard about!” Another man said, this time with black hair that looked short but also styled slightly with a hat on, his voice was more mischievous and carefree than the one before. While he talked, Atsushi was wrestling with the door that had decided to get jammed. Of course, he had the worst luck, he just wanted to get out of here!
Atsushi turned slowly after he heard his name uttered, “...How do you know my name?” He asked with worry and suspicion laced in his tone, these wealthy people knew his name… Were they going to try and scam him out of his money?
“You’re pretty infamous. It’s hard to not know of you. It’s not everyday a commoner is entered in this academy.” The blonde said calmly but with a smug air surrounding him, like he’d fine Atsushi for breathing the same air as him. He guessed it made sense, he didn’t wear the uniform so- “You must be pretty audacious to fight your way into our school as an honor student, Mr. Nakajima.” Atsushi could understand commoner but calling him audacious just because he got in?! God, rich people are the worst…
“Well, uh- thank you? I guess…” Atsushi said, unsure and mildly confused on what the hell he had walked into, these guys were exactly like all the other wealthy people at this school, they immediately talked down to him.
“You’re welcome! You are a hero to the poors, Nakajima!” The brown haired one told him loudly, sliding a hand on his shoulder- why did he have bandages all over him? “You’ve shown that even one of the poors can excel at an elite private academy!” The man repeated in an increasingly grating voice, throwing his other hand up with a dramatic flair. Atsushi attempted to very quickly but not quite discretely slide away from this guy, but he just followed him, still monologing. “It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others!” He had said, like Atsushi was a hero for even existing in a place like this. He wouldn’t lie, these people did look different than him, he didn’t have the uniform (because it was stupid expensive), his hair looked… not great because some little kid at the orphanage he lives at decided it was hilarious to completely fuck up his bangs.
“I think you’re taking the whole “poor” thing too far…” Atsushi said while sliding away again to the other side of the room, away from this weirdo, he was still monologing!
“We welcome you, poor man, to our world of beauty!” He continued, this guy was actually very annoying, and people pay to see him?
“I’m outta here.” Atsushi said, done with this whole thing and just wanting to get out of this weird place, he did have to study still.
“Hey! Come back Nakajima-Chan!” Another guy said, the guy that he remembered saying his name- he seemed younger than Atsushi despite the guy being only slightly shorter than him. This guy had a teasing and playful lilt to his voice, his voice sounded more high pitched than the other two.
“You must be some kinda hero!” The brunette spoke again, all of these guys were seeming to annoy the hell out of Atsushi.
“I’m not a hero. I’m an honor student.” Atsushi spoke calmly before he processed why the guy from before had said. “Who are you calling “Nakajima-Chan”?!” Atsushi yelled with exasperation from all of these people’s eccentric personalities, what the hell is this?!
“I never would’ve imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay.” The brown haired one kept saying increasingly insane shit, his voice was growing more annoying as the seconds passed. Atsushi was confused, openly what? The one with black hair that had called Atsushi “Chan” earlier was clinging to another guy that also had dark brown hair but his bangs were completely covering his eyes, like, you couldn’t even see them! How the hell did that dude even see anyone?
“So, tell me what kinda guys you’re into! Do you like the timid, mysterious type–” The brown haired one was pointing at the eyeless guy. “The boy lolita–” The one that called Atsushi “Chan” before. “What about the strong and silent type?--” Was now pointing at one that hadn’t spoken to Astsushi yet, he had kinda short black hair with really short bangs that had white on the ends. “Or maybe the mischievous type?” A red head with a choker that also hadn’t spoken to him yet but seemed like he was going to yell at how he was being described until the bandaged guy cut him off. “Or, the cool type?” The blonde with his hair in a ponytail and glasses was being pointed at now.
Atsushi was very quickly walking backwards with a look of dismay and shock written all over his face, he waved his hands in the air as he sputtered out his next sentence after he realized what the bandage man was saying.
“Uh- I uh-... It’s not like that!” He said quickly, a bit embarrassed because he guessed that was to be assumed when a guy walks into a club like this. He didn’t even really know what this club was about! “I was just looking for a quiet place to study!” Atsushi stammered quickly to explain since he definitely wasn’t trying to do whatever this was, he was unknowingly backing up further toward the vase that he didn’t know was there. He noticed the brown haired one that carried smugness had gotten close to him very quickly and Atsushi practically jumped out of his skin when he placed his hand on Atsushi’s chin.
“Or maybe… You’re into a guy like me? What do you say?” The guy asked flirtatiously with a smirk and his face was uncomfortably close to Atsushi’s and before the red-head could pull him off, which he seemed ready to do, Atsushi scurried back into a table which knocked over a glass vase. Atsushi gasped as he noticed it falling and quickly leaned over the table to try and catch it, if he could just grab the handle… He didn’t reach. It smashed on the floor, the vase now in pieces on the ground.
“Damn! We were going to feature that vasè in an upcoming school auction!” The red head said behind Atsushi while he was still leaning over the table and gaping at the pieces on the floor, his voice was more rough and loud, like he was always angry.
“Now you’ve done it, commoner. That vase was going for eight million yen.” The black haired one with the hat was also apparently behind him as well, his voice was smoother and monotone despite the drasticness of the situation.
“Eight million?!” Atsushi exclaimed with distress as he finally snapped out of his shocked daze, he couldn’t even imagine that much money in his head! ‘How many thousands is this? How many thousands are in a million?!’ Those were the questions quickly flooding in Atsushi’s head. “I-I’ll have to pay you back…” He said in a sheepish way as he finally stood up from his frozen position over the table.
“Ha! With what money? You can’t even afford the uniform!” The red head said loudly, he laughed with amusement. Amusement. These rich people were going to kill him! He had no way of paying for that, he didn’t have to work luckily because the orphanage covered living expenses and clothes were donated very often so he didn’t have a penny to pay them back with! The red head and the black haired, emo looking one, were both going on about his outfit, apparently it’s “grubby”? And then the blonde with glasses spoke up with a piece of the glass shards from the vase in his hand.
“Well, what should we do, Dazai?” The man asked as he directed his gaze toward the brown haired one who seemed like their leader of sorts, Atsushi didn't know where it came from but he sat down on top of a throne as he spoke.
“You know the saying…” His voice sounded different, he had a weird sudden change in attitude- it was a bit unnerving. “When in Rome, you should do what the Romans do. Since you have no money you can pay with your body…” Oh fuck. This guy said and Atsushi was sure he was going to kill him and sell his body parts! “Starting today, you are the host club’s dog.” The man said, which shocked Atsushi, he felt relieved but also incredibly not…
‘I don’t know if I can handle this, mom and dad…’ Atsushi thought to himself as he stood frozen, thinking about whatever they’d make him do. Atsushi was captured by these boys that call themselves a host club… Atsushi felt like he could faint.
—
The host club was open, it was shocking the number of girls that were there, at least it was to Atsushi. It was even more shocking that the guy who was apparently named Dazai had a TON of customers. He was doing weird sweet talk with them and Atsushi honestly found it disgusting. The other guys had customers too but Dazai had the most… There was this one lady with long red hair that was talking about the host club “keeping a little kitten without a pedigree” which Atsushi found about as insulting as everything else these damn rich people say while they look down on him, she seemed familiar...
Atsushi was walking in as she said this, he had his hands filled with the grocery bags since they had sent him shopping. “Speak of the devil. Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet!” Dazai said, even him thanking Atsushi was looking down on him. To be fair he was literally their “dog” so to speak so they had even more of a reason to look down on him.
“Did you get everything on our list-? Wait, what is this?” Dazai asked with confusion as he stared at the instant coffee after Atsushi had put everything down on the table.
“Coffee?” Atsushi said with confusion at Dazai’s confusion, it said coffee on the list so he got it. Dazai looked at the instant coffee with confusion, like it was some kinda alien object.
“I’ve never seen this brand before… Is this the kind that’s already ground?” Dazai asked him while he continued to inspect the container, it was really weird.
“What do you mean? It’s instant coffee?” Atsushi said with the same confusion since it was pretty obvious what it was. Apparently not to Dazai nor the girls around him because they muttered their own questions like “instant?” Have they never heard of instant coffee?
“Oh wow! I’ve heard of this before! It’s commoner's coffee, you just add hot water!” Dazai said with awe and wonder, like it was some novelty, which Atsushi guessed to these rich people it was. More girls were crowding around Dazai’s section, talking about how they didn’t even know it existed. Now everybody was crowded around, looking at the coffee container.
“Commoners are pretty smart.” The blonde with glasses said, who Atsushi learned was called Kunikida, he genuinely seemed impressed at the “innovation” since it took less time.
“I’ll go back and get something else. Sorry for hurting your wealthy eyes with non-expensive coffee.” Atsushi said with sarcasm since this was actually ridiculous.
“No! I’ll keep it-!” Dazai said, which made everyone gasp. “I’m going to try it!” Gasps again. “I will drink this coffee!” Dazai said with determination and heroicism as if he was wagering his life because he was drinking this, which according to everyone else he was because they all gasped again in awe and clapped.
Dazai called Atsushi over to make the “commoners” coffee and he couldn’t believe how much he hated these damn rich people. They act like the simplest thing is mind boggling because non-wealthy people drink it.
“Oh Dazai, now you’re taking a joke too far. You won’t be able to stomach that crap. You don’t have to drink it just because he bought it.” That girl with the long red hair spoke while everyone was occupied marveling over the coffee. Now he recognizes her, she spoke down on him very often, it got annoying eventually but Atsushi never cared enough to mind. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just talking to myself.” The girl said as she turned back to look at Atsushi with a fake smile, god those were the rich people he hated most. But his thoughts were interrupted by Dazai calling him over to make the coffee.
Atsushi walked over to make it for the crowd that was now standing in front of the table to watch Dazai drink the instant coffee like it was some kind of show. Atsushi gave the cups to Dazai with thinly veiled annoyance in his voice. The girls were acting like it was poison, saying things along the lines of, “I’m kinda scared to drink this” and “I’m worried if I drink this my father will get mad at me.” So then Dazai swooped in because he had an opening and said. “What if I let you drink it… from my mouth?” He said teasingly to the girl with flirtation while he dipped her, the girls squealed. Atsushi wanted to throw up out of principle. At least it looked like someone else shared his disgust, the red-head (now known as Chuuya) was actually doing a gagging motion though.
All the other hosts had gone back to their station places, the black haired with white tips wasn’t talking much, he seemed more reserved and less showy compared to the rest of the club. The childlike guy from before with shaggy and longer black hair than the other one, who he learned was named Ranpo, was walking with the one named Poe with hair that covered his eyes and Ranpo was rubbing his eyes sleepily. Ranpo then started playing a card game with the girls that were waiting at his station, Atsushi also learned that Ranpo was actually in their grade, and even older than him! The girls swooned when Ranpo won and must’ve said some cheesy or sweet line. He really didn’t get how girls could pay for stuff like this.
“Ranpo may seem childish, but he’s a prodigy. And Poe-senpai’s allure is his mysteriousness but also his timid and shy nature.” The glasses guy- Kunikida, appeared seemingly out of nowhere behind Atsushi. He just kept talking though, ignoring how Atsushi jumped at his appearance. “You’ll notice our club utilizes each man’s unique characteristics to cater to our guests. Just so you know, Dazai is king around here, his request rate is 70%.” Kunikida explained to him calmly, his voice was so critical and analytical, like everyone was just some statistic to him. God, what is this world coming to…
“And because you owe us, you will be the host club’s dog- oh sorry I meant errand boy, until you graduate! You can try to run but just so you know, my family employs a private police force of 100 officers.” Kunikida said, his tone was light hearted and he had a smile on his face as he looked at Atsushi through his glasses but it was definitely a threat…
“You’re going to have to work hard to pay off your debt, my little nerd!” Dazai had also suddenly appeared and was, again, way too close for comfort as he exhaled into Atsushi’s ear which made him immediately scamper away like a cat.
“You’ll have to change or no girl will look at you.” Dazai had said to Atsushi in that big and prince-like manner of his.
“I’m not trying to get girls to look at me?” Atsushi said with confusion, he’s just trying to do well, keep his grades up and graduate, that’s it.
“Are you kidding? You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies, like me!” Dazai said before flashing a charming smile that had to be crafted from how perfect it was, his teeth were so white they shined… Atsushi just didn’t think it was all that important honestly, it’s what was on the inside that mattered. Right?
“I don’t even understand why you have a host club like this.” Atsushi murmured as he took his gaze away from Dazai and looked at all the girls that were here. Atsushi noticed Dazai had started talking again but it seemed like one of those monologues that he’s learned Dazai does a lot so Atsushi wasn’t really listening. There was a certain word that described people like Dazai… What was it? Damn, Atsushi was wracking his brain so he could remember that word. Dazai was still talking while Atsushi thought… A pain in the neck? No, there’s something that fits perfectly…
“Oh! I got it!-”
“Oh, did I strike a chord?”
“Obnoxious!” Atsushi said with triumph at finally remembering it, he wasn’t even listening to whatever Dazai was talking about before. He could see Dazai deflate and throw himself into a corner dramatically. “I’m sorry, Dazai-senpai!” Atsushi said as the red head slung an arm around him while he laughed loudly, “You’re a hero alright!” He said loudly while laughing, finding it hilarious. “Shut up! You slug!” Dazai almost seemed like he was about to start a shouting match with Chuuya.
“But your lesson did strike a small chord with me.” Atsushi told him, mostly to make him feel better, which it did since he immediately jumped up enthusiastically and said he’ll “teach him more” which Atsushi thought he got over being called obnoxious super quick based on how sad he acted before…
“Shit Mackerel. You can teach him the basics but he ain’t going anywhere if he doesn’t look good. Let’s see without those ugly ass bangs-” Chuuya had stood in front of him and pushed back his bangs so they were instead kind of slicked back but Atsushi was never able to maintain something like that, hair products are expensive so he just lived with the hair cut. “...Holy shit!” Chuuya gasped in shock, which made Dazai run over and see how apparently “so much better” Atsushi looked without seeing his bangs. Dazai snapped and called Chuuya and “Akutagawa” who was supposedly the black haired dude with the white tips on his bangs, the two quickly pulled Atsushi by both arms out the door while he heard him tell Kunikida to “call his hairstylist” which worried Atsushi a bit. He did not have the money for whatever this was! He already owes them for the vase!
The two had the guy's uniform in their hands and told Atsushi to wear it, but Atsushi didn’t have the money for this! But it seemed like they were going to force him so he just yelled at them to get out of the dressing room while he changed. He was not letting these rich weirdos watch him change, despite the fact the emo one- Akutagawa was just a bit cute.
—
“Aren’t you done changing yet?” Dazai asked outside of the changing room, they had given Atsushi some products to help slick his hair back and the uniform but it seemed pretty expensive…
“Uh… Dazai? Are you sure it’s okay for me to keep this uniform?” Atsushi asked as he opened the curtain to reveal himself to the rest of the host club in the new uniform and hairstyle.
“Aw! You look so adorable!” Dazai said as Atsushi loosened the neck on the uniform slightly since it was a bit tight, he heard ooo’s and ah’s of the host club and a small and low, “Damn.” From Akutagwa which was honestly all Atsushi could ask for…
“Fuck , if we knew you looked like this, we would’ve helped sooner!” Chuuya said with a crude laugh, seemingly amused at something but Atsushi didn’t know what, Chuuya seemed more vulgar than the rest of the host club…
“Who knows? Maybe he’ll draw in a few customers.” Kunikida said with his hand on his chin as he stared at Atsushi in that analytical way that he learned to explain, it felt like Kunikida was figuring out how to capitalize off you.
“I was thinking that too!” Dazai said quickly in that loud and playful tone he always had, it was probably bullshit, he was just taking credit for Kunikida's idea.
“Starting today, you’re going to be a first-rate host! If you can gather 100 customers, we will completely forget about your eight million yen debt!” Dazai said to Atsushi as he pointed at him dramatically, that grin plastered on his obnoxious face. A… host?
—
There were girls at his table asking questions and Atsushi had no clue how to act. Then the girls asked, “Why’d you join the host club, Atsushi?” And Atsushi thought about it… Just 100 customers had to request him and no more debt! He knew the story for this…
“So, you’re an orphan..?” The girls asked with empathetic surprise, Atsushi felt bad capitalizing on his parents death but he had to do what he had to do. One of the girls asked about life at the orphanage. “Oh, it’s like having tons of siblings! We all do chores and cook and clean, the people are great. We get stuff donated all the time as well.” Atsushi explained to them with warmness and an effortlessness to his voice, this was all from the heart. He honestly did care for the fellow orphans like his siblings and when one of them would get adopted they’d throw a small going away party… The owners of the orphanage were actually pretty kind, they were so excited when they heard Atsushi was accepted into the academy and they lent him money for the bus fee and sent him with food everyday…
The girls seemed really into it so Atsushi went into it more. “I’ve had a tough life but my foster siblings and the owners have managed to live pretty well…” Atsushi explained with a sort of softness to his voice, he hadn’t realized Dazai was also not so discretely peaking while he spoke and the girls spoke to him again. They asked to sit with him again tomorrow! Three customers already! Atsushi thanked them and smiled in a friendly way. It was nice that these girls were sitting with him again. He heard Kunikida say something about a “natural” but he wasn’t sure.
While some of the guys were watching, the red haired girl asked if Dazai had forgotten about her since he was very focused on Atsushi, but he quickly recovered and locked back in. Then Atsushi heard a snap and Dazai telling him to come over to him, he did and Dazai introduced him formally to the long red haired girl. “This is my regular guest, Princess Ayanokoji.” Dazai said with elegance and that act he put on for all of his guests that made him seem slightly less crazy. This was the woman from earlier. “It’s nice to meet you, Miss.” Atsushi said back with a closed mouth smile and was almost immediately hugged by Dazai who spun him around talking about how “cute” Atsushi was.
—
Atsushi looked for his bag all around the club room but couldn’t find it for the life of him. “Where the hell is my bag..?” Atsushi asked himself as he glanced out the large window in the hallway he was in, then he gasped when he saw that his bag and all of his things were in the fountain. “How… did that happen?” He wondered because he hadn’t been getting bullied like that recently, most of the time the bullies just made jokes and looked down on him but they never did stuff like this. Too much effort for the rich to spend on a “commoner” like him. “Guess they’re everywhere…” Atsushi mumbled quietly with a bit of annoyance as he made his way quickly, running down the hallway until he heard the Princess lady say something so and slowed to a stop.
“I bet you love having Dazai making you over and fawning over you. It’s useless though. You’re always going to be a second-class citizen.” She said cruelly and rudely and then walked away. Atsushi then went back to run down the stairs toward the large fountain, he DEFINITELY hated those kinds of rich people. He was now in the fountain with his pants rolled up and was fishing his stuff out of the pond. That girl definitely threw his bag in the pond. He couldn’t be bothered with her right now though, he needs his wallet or else he won’t be able to pay for the bus back to the orphanage…
“Hey, Commoner.” A cold and monotone voice said, it was familiar but Atsushi couldn’t place it… Atsushi turned around to see Akutagwa standing at the edge of the fountain. “You have nerve skipping on the club like that. Dazai is going to be upset.” Akutagwa explained as his black eyes surveyed the surroundings, noticing the wet bag with his supplies that Atsushi had pulled out at the edge of the fountain. “Ah! It-It’s not a big deal! I got it!” Atsushi said quickly since he didn’t want him to worry about it, this kinda stuff happened a lot more at his middle school. “I just can’t find my bus fare money…” Atsushi mumbled to himself as he went back to searching the water with his back to Akutagwa, but then he heard splashing like someone getting in. Atsushi looked over to see Akutagwa with his pants rolled up and his shoes off as well, looking through the water.
“Hey! You don’t have to do that! You’ll get all wet…” Atsushi said quickly with worry in his voice, these rich people didn’t even know what instant coffee was so he definitely shouldn’t be in a fountain looking for some poor orphan’s wallet.
“If you don’t get back to the club soon Dazai will notice, my helping will get us to find it faster.” Akutagwa said in a low mumble, his voice was cold but also the kind gesture wasn’t lost on Atsushi.
“Hang on… This is it, right?” Akutagwa asked as he held up Atsushi’s wallet that was wet but was waterproof so it should be okay. Akutagwa walked over when Atsushi met him with silence, “What is it?” He asked with slight annoyance and discomfort, like just being perceived was weird for him.
“Thanks!” Atsushi said quickly and gratefully with a large smile as he took his wallet back from Aktugawa.
“How’d your bag get in there anyway?” Akutagawa asked curiously with confusion which Atsushi thinks was the first time he’s said anything to him that wasn’t necessary or about Dazai.
“Uh… Guess I must’ve dropped it on accident!” Atsushi said quickly with a smile to Akutagawa who didn’t buy it but also didn’t press further.
The princess was looking out one of the windows which led Aku to believe Atsushi didn’t just “accidentally” drop something he obviously needed. When the princess asked what happened the next day because she for some reason requested Atsushi even though she obviously didn’t like him, Atsushi told her the same thing which was met with passive aggressive comments like… “And you made Akutagwa search that nasty pond water with you?” and then stuff about how he’s just a commoner and the only reason Aku searched with him was because Dazai cared about Atsushi, she even said, “Don’t think he cares about you because he’s doting on you.” Atsushi got it now, he guessed it made sense.
“You’re jealous.” Atsushi said, plain and simple. Guess it made sense why this girl liked Dazai because she pulled out the dramatics and pushed the table over so it looked like Atsushi did and started yelling and screaming, Atsushi was on top of her on accident and then he felt as water was poured on top of the both of them by Chuuya and Ranpo.
“Why’d you do that?” The princess asked as she was helped up by Dazai, the two water pourers didn’t seem very guilty and Aku was standing in the sidelines watching as this unfolded. The princess started spewing stuff about how Atsushi had assaulted him which was interrupted by Dazai.
“I’m disappointed in you… you threw his bag into the pond.” Dazai said to her, his tone was more serious than Atsushi had heard it since he’s been in the host club, which wasn’t long but still. She tried to deny it but Dazai didn’t let her, everyone was watching the scene unfold. “You are a beautiful girl… But you’re not classy enough to be a guest of ours… Atsushi is not that kind of man.” He said firmly which made the princess run away yelling that he was an idiot while she cried slightly.
Then Dazai turned to Atsushi, “Hm… How shall I punish you? This IS your fault. You know what? Your quota is now 1,000!” Dazai said triumphantly to Atsushi while he still sat there on the floor that was covered with water. Atsushi couldn’t believe it, one hundred was already a stretch but 1,000!? Dazai said something about having high expectations for him but he wasn’t listening much, focused on his new quota that seemed impossible. Thankfully Kunikida gave Atsushi a new, dry, uniform…
Atsushi went in his new spiffy uniform and as he got onto the bus with his wet things he couldn’t help but worry about the things this club would make him do…