Chapter Text
Surprisingly, Merrill was the first to arrive. She’d swept in through the Eluvian network before landing in at the Lighthouse. Hawke barely had time to register the word “lethallan” before she found herself in the elf’s embrace.
Merrill’s smile still reminded Hawke of a meadow on a sunny afternoon or the laughter of a loved one. Age head crept onto Merrill’s face, blending into the curves of her vallaslin. She spoke of attempts to bring reform to the alienage in Kirkwall and her fascination with the Crossroads.
*
Next came Isabela with little fanfare. She’d claimed she’d already had her reunion with Hawke and was just there to get “acquainted with her favorite kitten.” Merrill had blushed furiously.
*
Fenris arrived like a storm, shouting Hawke’s name as soon as he had entered the Lighthouse. His brows were knit together as he marched towards her. Having fought beside the elf for so long, Hawke recognized that he was barley containing his rage.
Once he reached her, he gripped her by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. Time had not dulled his intensity.
“At least you haven’t had the opportunity to turn gray.” Hawke tried, looking at his still-white hair.
Fenris replied only with silence, causing Hawke to smile at him awkwardly. After what seemed to be an eternity, Fenris shook his head and brought Hawke into a crushing hug. “Don’t do that again.” He whispered with absolutely no bite to his words.
*
Anders came next, appearing like a ghost in more than one way. He was silent upon arrival, covering himself with a long, dark cloak that bore none of the feathers Hawke had come to associate with the mage.
At first glance, Hawke didn’t recognize him. He pulled back his hood, appearing gaunt and utterly tired. His hair had been cut short by an unsteady hand, being clipped close to his scalp in some places, and all of his jewelry had been removed. His skin was eerily pale but clearly his own. Hawke noted that there was no sign of Justice in him.
“Hawke, I’m so sorry.” He had said in a whisper so quiet that Hawke could barely understand him.
This time, Hawke pulled Anders into a tight embrace and felt him break. He buried his nose in her neck, silently weeping. “I forgive you.” She whispered back, only for him to hear.
*
Aveline and Sebastian arrived together. Well, Aveline arrived 20 feet before Sebastian, who trailed behind her like a lost dog.
Aveline pulled Hawke into a tight hug that lifted the mage off of her feet. When Aveline set Hawke back on the ground, she gave a curt nod before stalking off towards Varric. In the background, Hawke could hear Aveline loudly exclaim something that sounded vaguely like, “idiots, both of you!”
*
Sebastian looked awkwardly at Hawke. Their last interaction hadn’t exactly been pleasant – Sebastian had threated to march on Kirkwall after Hawke had refused to kill Anders. He hadn’t done so, but his apologies had fallen on deaf ears.
“I hear that my city still stands.” Hawke said, causing Sebastian to flinch. “No thanks to you.”
Sebastian had opened his mouth to say something but instead was left with his mouth gaping like a fish. His eyes drifted from Hawke to Anders, who had found himself yet another conversation with Carver and Davrin.
“I know that he betrayed you too, but why must you be the one to condemn him? Is it not the Maker’s will to find peace in conflict? To bring salvation to perdition? ” Hawke said to fill the silence. “He cannot take back his actions and I cannot ask you to forgive him, but his is my family so I must ask you to let him be. Is his path to atonement not punishment enough?”
Sebastian had, with a surge of bravery, stepped closer to Hawke. He shook his head, this was not about Anders, this was about Hawke – about his betrayal of Hawke. “Anders transgressions are his own. I have wronged you, Hawke. Whatever I say will not be enough. I was immature; shielded from the world by my family and then the chantry. To ask you to kill him. . . I should never have placed that burden on your shoulders. I wanted to do better, be a better person, but I am not sure I can be. I don’t think I’ve ever been sure of who I am. . . but whoever I am, I am behind you, Hawke.”
“And you won’t ask me to kill any more of our friends?” Hawke replied with a cheeky grin.
Sebastian smiled, perhaps for the first time since the incident. “Not any more than usual, I suppose.”
Sebastian reached out to shake Hawke’s hand, but had been pulled into a hug instead.
***
After several days of emotional reunions and strategy meetings, the Kirkwall crew had settled into the Lighthouse fairly well. Most of the members had taken to camping out in the infirmary, save for Aveline, who returned to Kirkwall at night to see her husband, and Merrill, who, to Isabela’s disappointment, found herself often passing out in Bellara’s room after late-night research sessions.
While Hawke loved having her family around, it also meant that she and Varric had little to no privacy. She supposed it made sense - the infirmary did have an inordinate amount of beds and Hawke’s family didn’t seem to understand the meaning of personal space. There was also the fact that Hawke had been stuck inside of the Fade for 10 years that left her friends fearful that if she fell outside of their line of sight, she would disappear again.
It just meant that Hawke and Varric now found themselves in strange places. Tonight, Hawke and Varric sat on a balcony that had, in some strange way, been connected to Solas’ room. The Caretaker had reveal the entrance after Hawke had, embarrassingly, begged the spirit for a private room. She supposed that the Caretaker had meant to offer Solas’ room itself, but Hawke had incidentally ended up in the portal that brought her to the balcony. She’d been scolded for walking into a mysterious portal alone.
Hawke placed a kiss on Varric’s head. “Thank you from bringing them here.”
“What’s a little family reunion at the end of the world?” Varric laughed.
“It’s not the end of the world. We’ve just got to. . .”
“Kill a few archdemons and their gods, stop the Blight, and keep Isabela at least 10 feet away from your brother?”
Hawke hummed in response, carding her hand through his hair. She liked it longer – it was more fun to run her hands through.
“They missed you. We all did.”
“I’m worried that I’ve only brought them into more danger.”
“Hawke, it’s the end of the world. They’d be in danger anywhere. They’d rather be here.”
“It’s a strange little family we’ve got.”
“That’s your fault – you picked up a lot of strange strays.”
“I picked up all the good ones.” She said, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’ve been thinking. . .”
“That tends to lead us into dangerous situations.” He replied, snaking his arms around her waist.
“Varric.” She admonished him with a smile. “I’m serious. I’ve been thinking about the future, whatever future there is to be had. I know you’re not one for commitment, but I love you and you seem to love me and I’m not sure how long we really have left so it might not even be that long of a commitment. So, right I’m thinking that maybe we could make a commitment? Be committed? But legally, you know all the formalities - you were Viscount after all – but if we’re on a ship, I think the formalities are waived? And, anyways, it would make it easier if one of us were to survive the end of the world or if there was another Fade situation, I’m sure . . .”
“Hawke.” Varric interrupted. “Are you asking me to marry you?” He chuckled and buried his face into her chest.
“Don’t laugh! I’m being serious. If you’re going to let me down, at least have the decency to be tactful. You’re supposed to be good with words. . . ”
This time she was interrupted with a kiss. It was sweet and much too short for her preference.
“Hawke, I love you, but . . .”
“But you don’t do commitment. I know! That’s why the world ending actually works in our favor – it wouldn’t be forever.”
“Hawke, I’m fully committed. I don’t want you to doubt that. I love you and I’m committed to you forever, but I’m already married.”
“What?” Hawke’s jaw dropped. To who? Do you love them? Was it arranged? What are they like? Where are they? Why are you here? What are you doing? These are all questions that cross Hawke’s mind, but she’s unable to voice a single thing. She can feel tears welling up in her eyes, but they don’t fall.
“Sweetheart. Listen, I’m not done.” She’s pulled from her thoughts by a hand on her cheek. “You can’t get married either – same reason I’m afraid.”
“I’m not married.” She says dumbly.
“Yes, you are. For about 10 years now. I . . . It was a way to keep you with me when you were gone.”
“Oh.” He’d married her, posthumously of course.
“Did I take your name?”
“Nah – we both hyphenated. Hawke-Tethras.”
“Hawke-Tethras.” She repeated.
“Look Hawke, I meant what I said. I’m with you forever, but if you’re not comfortable with that we can. . .”
This time, she shut him up with a kiss. “I’m with you forever, too. . . even though you’ve robbed me of a wedding. It would have been the event of the century! Celene herself would have begged an invitation, only to be turned away at the door. And, best of all, my brother would have to be nice to us for the entire day!”
He smiled up at her, taking her face in both of his hands. “Tell you what, Hawke. We survive this, we’ll throw the best wedding Thedas has ever seen. People won’t even remember the end of the world because they’ll be too busy talking about you.”
Hawke smiled and it made Varric’s heart swell. “But I get to call you my husband now. Deal?”
“It’s only fair. I’ve called you my wife for 10 years.”