Chapter Text
Being back in her body was strange. It was so slow and heavy that CC felt as if she weighed at least an extra hundred pounds, and having people actually talk to her and expect a response was both odd and distracting. The hardest thing to get used to was the return of her sense of touch. Her skin was extremely sensitive, and the feel of the sheets against it was sometimes irritating.
Of course, she didn't tell any of this to her doctor. She didn't want anyone to think she was crazy, and they would if she started babbling about her spirited ramblings. Instead, she answered the doctor's questions on how she was feeling as honestly as she could without referring to it.
For days, she felt too weak to do much more than lie in her bed wondering where Niles was. He hadn't shown his face once in her room since she woke up, and she missed him. She watched her doctor, Nurse Daniels, and her therapist passively as they did all manner of things to her body. The touch of skin on skin was almost uncomfortable after being deprived of it for so long.
Lying there unable to move gave her a lot of time to think, and CC came to the conclusion that she didn't want to go back to the way things were before the accident. At least not completely. She knew things now that she hadn't known then, and her mind was so much clearer. Alcohol and delusions were no longer clouding it, and she finally understood what she'd been afraid to even contemplate before.
She considered it a victory when Laura helped her to sit up on the third day after she woke. The sun was shining in the window, glinting off of the two frames sitting on the long table holding the flowers.
“Thank you,” CC said, knowing the nurse surely deserved it. CC was often hard to get along with at the best of times, but Laura had taken the mood swings and sarcasm in stride.
“You'll feel much better now, Chastity-Claire. You'll see.”
“I feel better already.”
The nurse peered at her, her expression showing she wasn't sure if CC were being sincere or sarcastic. After a moment, she continued, “Michael says you are doing well. Sometime in the next couple of days, you should be able to get up and take short walks. Before you know it, you'll be on your way home.”
“How long until I can work?”
“You've been through a...”
“How long?”
The nurse shook her head. “I'm not sure. You'll have to ask your doctor. Probably not for several weeks.”
CC's good mood at finally moving evaporated at this. “Maxwell could run the company into the ground by that time.”
“It takes as long as it takes.” Laura's voice became stern and CC sighed in capitulation.
XXX
She'd had a nice, long chat on the phone with Noel, and her father had sent her some more flowers with a card saying how happy he was that she was awake. He hadn't visited, so CC assumed his promise to be more present in her life had been forgotten.
Actually, CC hadn't had any visitors since she woke. Even Niles had stopped coming, and she missed him. She knew it was probably because he didn't want her to know he cared. It was silly, and knowing it didn't make her want to see him any less.
As CC began to interact with the world again, it was the little things she appreciated most. Even though she got frustrated, she was still grateful that she could touch and lift things. Communicating seemed like a small miracle every time she spoke and someone answered. She loved being able to eat, and even the bland hospital food tasted great to her reawakening tastebuds. She couldn't wait to shower on her own or get dressed, small actions CC had taken for granted before but things she hadn't been able to do for weeks.
She was eating some chocolate pudding and wishing she had some of Niles's strawberry shortcake when there was a knock on her door. CC had been expecting her therapist, but Michael didn't usually knock.
Before she could call out for the person to enter, the door opened and Nanny Fine came in. She was followed by all three of the Sheffield children. Nanny Fine looked cheerful, but the kids looked almost frightened. CC couldn't help but smile when she saw them. Now that she knew they didn't hate her, it was time to give up the game of pretending she didn't know their names.
“Good morning, Miss Babcock,” Nanny Fine said. “How are you feeling?”
“I've been better,” she admitted.
“The kids wanted to come see you.”
“It got me out of school.” Brighton shrugged, and Maggie elbowed him.
“Well, it will dispel the boredom, I suppose.” CC plopped her spoon into her pudding and pushed the small table away. “Come in, Nanny Fine, Maggie, Brighton. Thank you for the bear, Grace.”
The Little One's face lit up even as the others' mouths dropped open in shock.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Who else could it have been?”
“Did he make you feel better?”
“Much.” It was the truth.
“Miss Babcock, should I go get the doctor?” Nanny Fine asked. There was a worried expression on her face at CC's friendly tone.
“I'm on pain medication,” CC assured her, fighting the urge to smile again.
“Oh.” She nodded and waved her hand. “Then this is the perfect time for us to visit.”
“We brought you a card,” Maggie said hesitatingly, coming forward slowly and handing CC a sealed envelope.
CC raised an eyebrow. “A card? Did you pick it out?”
“Fran did...and we all signed it.” She elbowed Brighton again.
“Uh, yeah,” he echoed.
Instead of scornfully setting it aside as she might have before, CC put her thumb under the flap and gently forced it open. She pretended not to notice the four pairs of eyes watching her anxiously as she drew out the card. CC expected it to be cartoonish and silly, but it was actually understated and classy. She couldn't believe that Nanny Fine had picked it out.
Opening it, she saw everyone had indeed signed it—everyone but Niles. Even Maxwell had scrawled out a quick, “Get well soon. I can't find anything.”
“This is very nice,” CC commented after reading each simple message. “Thank you.”
Brighton's eyes widened in surprise. “Hey, Miss Babcock, maybe you should bring some of those painkillers home.”
“I'll consider it,” she replied, keeping her voice as even and as serious as she could.
“It's nice to see you awake,” Maggie said, after giving her brother an evil look.
“We came to visit while you were asleep,” Grace added. “You look much better now.”
“I'm sure I do. I've heard both my arm and leg were broken.”
“Your color was horrible,” Nanny Fine said.
“Niles told us...” Brighton started and then trailed off when he glanced at Nanny Fine.
“I can just imagine what he had to say. Speaking of the dust mop, where is he, anyway?” she said this casually, almost scornfully, not wanting them to know she cared about the answer.
“You expected him?” Nanny Fine asked.
CC shrugged. “The nurses said he came to see me while I was...um...resting. I assume it's Niles I have to thank for the broom in the corner and the pictures on the table.”
“Uh...Yeah.”
“He always tries to be so amusing.”
“I think he missed you, Miss Babcock,” Grace told her solemnly.
“We all missed you,” Nanny Fine was quick to assure her. “The house wasn't the same without you.”
“I'm surprised to hear you say that.”
“I didn't miss you, if it makes you feel better,” Brighton commented, but CC remembered how boring he said the house was without her and knew he was lying. “And I want to know what you did with my video camera.”
“B,” Nanny Fine slapped his shoulder lightly, “be nice.”
“It's all right, Nanny Fine.”
“Don't mind him, Miss Babcock,” Maggie added. “He's a jerk.”
“Hey, I'm just keeping it real.”
CC smirked at him. His eyes widened for a brief second before he smirked back.
CC's gaze went from him to Grace, whose small face was so earnest. She remembered the hours the child had spent reading to her and made a split second decision.
“Grace?”
“Yes, Miss Babcock?”
“Do you see that book on the table beside the picture of your father and Nanny Fine?” Grace nodded. “Could you bring it over to me?”
Grace looked puzzled but she hurried over to the table, picked up the book, and handed it to CC.
“I received this for my birthday when I was five years old. My brother, Noel, gave it to me, and he used to read it to me. Someone obviously read it to me when I was in my coma because there's a bookmark in it. That was very nice of them, don't you think?”
Grace nodded again but didn't reply.
“The thing is, I'm too old for this story now. It's about little girls. I don't suppose you'd like to have it? I know Sigmund Freud and Nietzsche are more what you're used to, but...” She let her sentence hang unfinished in the air.
“You want to give me your book?” The shock on her face was plain.
“Only if you want it, of course.”
Grace hugged the book to her chest and said quietly, “Thank you, Miss Babcock.”
She waved this away. “Think nothing of it.”
Grace smiled widely. “You may keep Teddy...if you like.”
“What? Teddy? Well, I might have a place for him.” CC kept her tone bored and disinterested, but she winked at Grace.
“Wow, there's a whole room full,” a pleasant male voice said.
CC glanced at the door to see Michael coming in. She scowled. “What are you doing here?”
“It's time for your therapy.” He sounded way too damn cheerful about it.
“We should be going anyway,” Nanny Fine told her. “Get better soon, Miss Babcock. Come on, kids.”
CC glared at her therapist, who just grinned in response. Ignoring him, she said, “Thank you for coming, N...” She stopped herself and forced out a word she'd sworn she'd never say, “Fran.”
Nanny Fine—Fran--glanced at CC, startled, before she followed the children out of the room.
CC watched them go, then turned to Michael. “All right, you sadist, what have you got planned for today?”
XXX
With a sigh, she picked up Teddy and played with his bandana. It still smelled faintly of Lemon Pledge.
“You are one handsome fella.” CC tapped Teddy lightly on the nose. “I can't believe Grace let me keep you.”
She blushed as she heard the door open and quickly pushed Teddy onto the bedside table. Looking up, she saw Niles enter, his face unreadable.
“Hello, Niles.”
“Babcock,” he answered shortly.
She studied him closely. He looked uncomfortable, and his hands were folded in front of him.
“You're here,” CC said evenly. She felt like smiling but forced it away because she didn't know what to expect.
“Yes. Miss Fine said you wanted to see me.”
CC let her smile shine through as she replied, “Don't get your hopes up, Hazel. I just wanted to know where you were.”
His arms fell to his sides and he eyed her suspiciously. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you were here every day while I was in my coma, but I haven't seen you once since I woke up.”
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”
She enjoyed the slightly embarrassed look that went over his features as she prodded, “I know you came every day.”
“Did Miss Fine tell you?” He frowned.
“No.” She shook her head, still smiling. “I could feel you here...though maybe that was just the smell of Lemon Pledge...and I could hear you.”
His eyes widened. “You could hear me?”
“Not your words,” she lied. “Just your voice.”
“Someone had to make sure you knew how close Miss Fine and Mr. Sheffield were getting without you there to interfere.”
“Of course,” she said solemnly, fighting to hide her amusement.
“Is that all you wanted? Because...”
“Come, sit with me, Niles.”
“I really should...”
“Hours while I'm in a coma and you can't even spare me two minutes now that I'm awake?” CC interrupted.
He sighed heavily. “Fine.”
Niles came closer and was about to sit in the chair, so she said, “No, Niles. Come sit with me. Here.”
She patted the side of her bed. Niles stared at her, motionless, his face and eyes blank.
“Come on, Niles. I won't bite. I just have something to tell you.”
She patted the bed again. For a moment, Niles looked indecisive, and she thought he'd refuse. CC expected a sudden cutting insult, but he remained silent and came towards her cautiously. When he sat gingerly on the very edge of her mattress, CC could feel his warmth through the thin hospital sheet.
“Well, what is it?” he asked grumpily.
She leaned over and gently pressed her lips to his cheek. His skin was soft even through the slight roughness of late afternoon stubble, and she felt a faint and strange sense of possessiveness.
As she pulled away, she whispered, “Thank you.”
The shock on his face was almost comical, and he couldn't quite pull off the expression of revulsion that he was aiming for.
“What are you doing?” he demanded.
“Has it been so long for you that you've forgotten?” she teased. “Here, let me refresh your memory.”
This time, she kissed his lips, though it was just as gentle and just as brief. When he didn't pull away, she timidly brushed her fingertips over his cheek.
Niles reached up and caught her hand, and CC steeled herself for a cruel and biting rejection. The rough push she expected didn't happen. He just closed his fingers around hers.
“Miss Babcock?”
“What? No protestations of hatred? No assertions that the world would have been better off if I had died in that accident? No terrible zing? No cutting rejection?”
“I don't want you to die.” His voice was firm but quiet.
“You've said it often enough.”
His fingers squeezed but not enough to be painful. “I never wanted you to die.”
“I know,” she admitted.
He couldn't meet her eyes. She waited for him to speak and, when he didn't, she continued quietly.
“It was all a game. We played it well, didn't we? We denied our friendship and hurt each other because it was what others expected...what we ourselves expected. And sometimes it was fun. But I knew the truth...and so did you.”
Niles didn't answer, and he still didn't look at her. CC caressed the back of his hand with her thumb, glad that he hadn't jerked it away.
“If our positions had been reversed,” he finally said, “I would have taken advantage of your weakness when you came to see me. I would have...”
“I know...and I would have forgiven you. Eventually. But, today, I don't feel like playing. I don't want to lash out. I want to sit here with my friend and hold his hand. Can we call a truce, Niles, just for today?”
His hand tightened slightly and he finally met her gaze. He swallowed and she could tell he wanted to say something. CC waited patiently, certain whatever it was would be honest and not a zing.
“I missed you.” His voice was so soft CC almost couldn't hear him.
CC's heart constricted at his sincerity, and unexpressed feelings hung heavy in the air. With her free hand, she touched his face.
They sat like that for several seconds before Niles cleared his throat and they drew away from each other. CC felt herself flush and she dropped her eyes from Niles's face.
“I...I should be going,” Niles said roughly. “It's almost time to start dinner.”
“Okay,” she told him. When he turned away, she added, “Niles?”
He glanced at her, and CC saw his face was flushed as well. “Yes?”
“Will you come back?”
“Every day,” he promised.
She smiled. “Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Niles agreed.
“Will you bring me something to read?”
“Now, you're pushing it, Babs.”
She laughed and he smirked at her.
“Bye, Niles.”
As he left, CC felt lighter and happier than she had in a long time. Before her accident, she had been living in dread of each day and plowing through her life as if it were something to endure. Things were going to change now. It was time to start living. She was going to become the kind of person that would make her grandmother proud, and she was going to stop chasing some fairytale idea of happiness and find out what would truly make her happy.
With this resolution firmly in mind, CC settled down with Teddy and turned on the TV. Maybe it was time to let the TV lull her to sleep so she could dream of the future.