Chapter Text
Regulus makes a strangled noise. He rocks forward, arm outstretched. He freezes just like that — extended and left behind, his only focus on James' body and the way it's fucking disappearing..
James is hunching forward, his shoulders curving inwards. His spine twists unnaturally and the — the leather jacket trembles and extends. It's like it suddenly gains feet of fabric and is spreading like a wildfire in high winds.
One moment, a very human James is standing in the surf.
In the next…
In the next, there's a seal.
An entire fucking seal.
Regulus stares.
There really isn't much more he can do.
He's hallucinating or dying or having a mental break.
Maybe that's why James was so confusing earlier. He was some fragment of Regulus' trashed imagination.
The seal barks.
Regulus… gives up. He drops to his ass in the sand and covers his face with his hands. His fingertips press into his face with enough pressure to bruise and his nails scrape across his skin. He wheezes in air.
As much as he hates to admit it, Regulus had spent hours pouring over fairy tales. He'd found childish joy in watching happy endings be achieved. He'd grinned to himself when evil witches were conquered. He'd wished for Peter Pan to take him away too many times for it to merely his silly hoping. He had truly Believed and he had thought that would be enough.
It never was.
James had been the perfect kind of Prince Charming. It had caused Regulus to be a little more distrustful at first. He was just too perfect. Exactly what Regulus had wished for. Someone to save him, someone to give him kindness and a home and a heart. When Regulus had fallen, he'd fallen hard .
So as much as his brain wants to convince him that he's insane, Regulus has always been just a little too open to the idea of magic.
And Regulus really can't shake the belief that James really did turn into a seal.
He doesn't know how long he sits there, staring into the sand, trying to find answers in the constellations of grains.
"Regulus?"
Regulus raises his head. He blinks up at James.
The other man is gloriously dripping, the purpling sky casting shadows on his expression. The leather jacket has returned. It's draped over his wet skin, completely dry in contrast to the rest of him. Even his hair is wet, exploded into a new round of curls after being exposed to the salt water. He's beautiful. He's magic .
"What was that?" Regulus asks softly.
James looks between him and the waves and Regulus has to fight the urge to hit him.
"James," Regulus sighs. It's far too fond, but he doesn't care right now. He can't bring himself to. "James, magically turning into a fucking seal doesn't explain jackshit."
"Oh," James says. He hesitates. His whole body tightens, then loosens.
Regulus is hit with the realization that James did not think past this.
Regulus sighs again. And then he just — he starts laughing. It's so stupid and it's so entirely James and it's crazy, insane, and Regulus can hear his mother in his laugh, can hear the way it just keeps going until he can't breathe, high-pitched and cackling, but he really, really can't stop because it's all so fucking messed up.
James, very awkwardly, takes a seat next to Regulus on the sand.
It sends him into another peel of laughter. He clutches at his stomach, rocks backward, completely aware and uncomfortable with the way sound echoes off the stone around them and completely aware that he cannot seem to stop.
"Regulus," James prompts. Then again, sweeter, "Reggie."
"Jamie," Regulus giggles.
James' face shapes into something so painfully hopeful that it makes Regulus' heart pound and his face heat and his stomach drop.
"I thought you — fuck, Reggie. How do you do this?" It's James' turn to hide his face in his palms and it finally makes Regulus' laughter petter out.
The cove is quiet. The waves brush against the shore. Even the wind has paused for this moment.
"You make me so happy. You don't even know."
Regulus swallows hard. "Is that — did you really just do it to get rid of me? Make me find myself or some shit?"
James pauses. He takes time to formulate his response and the clear display of the mindfulness, the way he's really trying to think before he speaks is such a difference to the impulsive and unthinking James of the past that it makes Regulus wonder if James just did it for himself as well, even if he doesn't quite realize it yet.
"I was really scared," James says in a small voice. "Not just because of you drowning. Because it was."
And suddenly his earlier comment takes on a whole new meaning. The sea that I had always trusted to protect me and my own, James had said. Because James was more than human. He's a seal, he is a creature made of magic that is so intricately connected to the water that he probably — he probably never imagined that someone could be hurt by it the way Regulus was.
"But I'm… there were also so many stories about humans." James tilts his head back and stares up at the stars. "I'm a selkie. I don't know if you've — "
James glances over and Regulus is sure that his horror is clear on his face. He does know what selkies are. He'd actually… he'd actually done research on them. He doesn't know how he didn't make that connection before. He'd been…
And fuck if that isn't a twist of fate. He'd finally finished his series about James, he'd decided that he had finally dealt with his grief and his broken heart. And completely coincidentally, his next series, a foray into fantasy, was going to focus on the single aspect of himself that James had actually hidden.
Selkies depend on their coats. And there are many myths — legends, of humans discovering that their partner is a selkie and stealing their coat so they couldn't return to the sea. Or even… even taking the coat of someone they hadn't committed to.
"James," Regulus says. He's hurt, of course. James still expected that he would do it, that he would rob James of such a choice and hurt him so cruelly. But it makes it so much more understandable. Why he hid it all. Why he pushed Regulus away. Because if he had opened up, there was so much more than a mere break-up at stake.
"You do." James murmurs. He sighs shakily and wipes at his eyes. "You do. So you… it's another thing I regretted eventually. You wouldn't have, I know. But we're — we're a little different from the stories. Some protection, at least."
James' hands fist in his pants.
"We depend on the number seven. The ocean grants us life, so we must repay it as well. At least seven minutes everyday or seven days. But if we truly forsake her gifts, seven months — "
"After — after, you stayed with me." Regulus gasps. He looks at James and the tiny nod makes his heart shatter.
After Regulus had almost drowned, James had spent days glued to his side, making sure he was fine and healed and breathing. He hadn't even gone on his morning runs — runs that Regulus is wondering were excuses for paying his dues.
"I knew I was running out of time. If you don't, you can lose the gift. A cousin left because she wanted to and we haven't welcomed her back. I don't know if we even can."
"It put a deadline." Regulus says slowly. The sky is almost fully dark now. They're sitting on the sand and he's hit with the unfortunate realization that they hadn't brought a flashlight. Or their phones.
"Exactly," James sighs.
Regulus leans back into the sand. He can see the stars this way. The way they connect and shine and make shimmering, beautiful wholes of beauty. If the ocean is life to James, Regulus finds the same kindness within the night sky. He isn't blessed with any magic. He isn't granted any powers. It's a distant thing. The stars will never be able to interfere and his wishes on the North Star have always gone unanswered.
But it's a constant. It's a shining constant, an existence that has been a companion for years. And here, looking up at them, remembering all the way he sobbed and pleaded, the ways that he shattered over and over and taped himself together, the way that he only truly felt like a constellation in the presence of James' sun and moon and life, and he knows that this isn't the best choice, knows that this could end in disaster once again because he's already seen and already experienced the way that they ruin each other wholly and completely. He still can't stop the twinkling, tiring, frustrating faith that it could work out this time — and it might be more beautiful than all the stars put together.
"My next book," Regulus whispers back, a little helpless, "was going to be a selkie romance."
"Well," James says equally as soft, his eyes glistening. "We can give it a try in real life."
Regulus laughs. It's a wet sound.
"Too cheesy?"
"No." Regulus smiles fondly. His cheeks hurt. "No. It was perfect."
He reaches out for James' hand, his shoulders loosening as he intertwines their fingers. James' skin is wet and cold. It's the best thing Regulus has ever felt.
"I'm… I want to try."
"I do too."
Regulus winces when he realizes that he's going to have to tell Remus and Sirius what happened. And pray that they don't burst onto the island even if he calls them off.
"Moment by moment," James says.
Regulus smiles. "Second by second."
"And we have each other." James finishes their old mantra. He squeezes Regulus' hand.
A cold breeze sweeps across the water.
Neither of them move.
