Chapter Text
Scar’s car was old. Some used, nineties Chevrolet. Grian had thought it would fall apart the first time he saw it. Scar had gotten it when he moved to the UK, from some sketchy listing on ebay.
He’d wanted a cheap car because he didn’t drive as often as he used to. Mostly because of the area, the deepest part of Winchester was just cobble roads for pedestrians. Though, the outer portions of houses and shops were a little farther apart. There was public transport, unlike America. Buses and Trains were the number one means for transportation. Truly, a car was not needed for either of them. Yet, Scar had one.
“I like driving too much.” He’d said. “Sometimes I take car rides just by myself out to the fields on the outskirts of town. You know, would you want to… maybe come with me one night?”
And that’s how Grian ended up in a car with Scar on a random Monday night.
It was sunset, clouds painted the sky with blues and pinks and yellows. It really complemented the vast expanse of grass. At least, Grian thought so. He hadn’t ridden in a car… in a while. It was strange, being in the passenger seat. The last time he could remember was a road trip with Jimmy and Joel, years ago. That was when he had just moved.
It had actually been to Bath, a town of little meaning to any of them, yet an escape. As they moved into adulthood, they wanted to stay in touch. That's why Jimmy suggested it. Just for a weekend, just having fun in a town they’d never been to. Joel was the driver, as he was the only one who could at the time, and the only one who had a car.
Joel’s car had been shitty. Shitter than Scar’s actually. The bumper was practically hanging by a thread, fastened on furiously with duct tape. The back window had more stickers than anyone could really use. Joel had called it his collection, always trying to find a free sticker wherever they ended up. Sometimes, the engine would stall for hours at a time. After countless angry kicks, it would start up again. Grian never knew how the vehicle lasted so long. He missed it though, he knew that.
He missed the secret cigarettes that were shared in the backseat, the stargazing from up on the roof. Man, he missed it.
Grian looked down, trying to remember what type of seats Joel's car used to have. He couldn't quite remember, but he knew they were not the ones he was sitting in. Scar’s car had leather seats, so beat up they didn’t even feel like leather anymore. He traced the leather with his finger. It wasn't coming to him.
“Have you ever driven a car before?” Scar asked, one hand on the wheel and one propped on the console.
Grian flinched, a little startled by a voice. It took him a long moment to even process what Scar had said. “Uh- nope. I’ve always kinda wondered what it would be like though.” He said, looking out the window. The fields were getting darker.
“Really?” Scar said, glancing at Grian. “You know… since there’s no one out here… what d’you think about trying it out?”
Grian smirked, turning to Scar.
“Really? You think that’s a good idea?”
“Well, I never said it was a good idea. But it’s a fun one.” Scar said, leaning towards Grian and smirking with a mischievous glint in his eye.
“It’s illegal.” Grian said, raising his eyebrows.
Scar shrugged, a little sheepishly. “You know, your right… but-“
“That’s funny. Laws won’t stop me.” Grian said, scoffing. “No one’s out here! If I crash into something, no one’s gonna know!”
Scar just laughed. “What would you crash into? There’s literally nothing out here.”
“A bush? A ditch?”
“I promise you won’t crash. I’ll grab the wheel if you’re about to crash. But you won’t! I think you would be a responsible driver.”
“Hm. Responsible…” Grian hummed, facing forwards and tapping his finger on his cheek. Scar had slowed down now, and rolling through the dirt roads at 7 miles per hour was not exactly Grian’s speed.
“Okay, get out.“
“What?” Scar said, looking at Grian again. He really should’ve been looking at the road, but he wasn't. All his attention was on Grian.
“Get out. I’m gonna drive.”
“Uh-”
Grian was already one step ahead of Scar, unclipping his seatbelt and reaching for the door handle.
“Grian, stop! Let me stop first.”
He paused at Scar’s words, a little surprised at the tone. It wasn't a humorous sentence. It was a sudden spike of worry. The car was silent until Scar slowed to a stop, letting out a long breath onto the wheel.
“Sorry.” Scar said, looking straight ahead still. “I just… didn't want you to get hurt.”
Oh. Well, Grian was not expecting that. He was stunned into silence for a moment. A slow thanks was given, and Grian hopped out of the car. He didn't have time to dwell though, because now he was going to drive. Scar and him swapped seats quickly, just in case of another lone car behind them.
As he sank into the driver’s seat, the nerves were finally setting in. Being in front of the wheel was much different then looking at it.
“Are you ready?” Scar asked.
Grian looked at him. “Yeah! Yeah, all ready.” He said, not exactly confident.
Scar could tell.
“You don’t sound very sure.”
“I am.” Grian snapped. “I’m ready.”
Scar shrugged, not seeming very fazed or convinced. “Okay, G. First step?”
Grian’s smile instantly faded, replaced with a look of false confidence. “Pause. I didn’t know there were steps-“
“See and that’s why you’ve gotta listen!” Scar said, smiling and holding his hands up, really accentuating his point.
“Okay, what’s the first step then?” Grian said, a little snarky, leaning forwards. Scar lowered his hands, mouth in a flat line and eyes a little wider than they’d been before.
“Uh- first step! It’s… putting your seatbelt on. Yeah, make sure you’ve done that.”
Grian looked down at his seatbelt that definitely was not buckled. He buckled it quickly, snapping his head back up to Scar. Scar nodded.
“Next step?”
“Put your foot on the brake and switch to drive.”
Grian looked down at the endless array of buttons just to look up at Scar again.
“I might just press them all to figure out which one it is.”
Scar snickered at him, leaning closer. He pointed to where Grian’s feet were resting.
“See that smaller pedal down by your feet? Push down on it.”
Grian just nodded, looking up at Scar for a moment and looking back down to press on the pedal.
“Good! Now-“
“Oh come on, that is not something to congratulate.” Grian grumbled.” I pressed a button with my foot.”
Scar rolled his eyes. “It’s a pedal, not a button. Even I know that. Anyway, next you need to shift your gear to drive.” Scar curled his hand around a stick in the middle of the console. “It’s in park right now, but the D is for drive, and you have to switch it to move.”
Grian looked down again. There was a stick coming out of the console, multiple labels on the edge. Currently, it was lined up with the P.
“P is for park, and the other ones… well you don’t really have to know those. Here let me help you switch it.” Scar said, taking his hand off the lever. “Put your hand on it.”
Grian followed along, wrapping his hand around it. A moment later, Scar did the same around Grian’s hand.
“Okay, now move it back to drive.”
But Grian could not do anything with Scar’s hand wrapped around his. He was honestly a little stunned, looking back up at Scar and still doing nothing. He was insufferable. Oblivious.
Scar just tightened his grip around Grian’s hand, pulling the lever back in line with the D label. He looked up at Grian, grinning.
“What?”
This man would end him.
“Nothing.” Grian grumbled, looking back down at the shift stick. “Move your hand, I can do it myself.”
Scar removed his hand, putting both up in the air. “Okay! Go ahead.”
Grian jerked it back to park, then went back to drive. Easy enough. Scar just nodded with a small smile, leaning back against his seat.
“Now for the fun part! Drive.”
Grian was determined to show off. To impress. So, he let off the break, just to shriek right after.
“Why is it moving?”
He slammed down on the break again, breathing out a long breath. Scar started to laugh, bending his torso over in his lap.
“The car moves without the gas pedal!”
“What?” Grian huffed, jerking his head to face Scar, who was half bent over laughing into his lap.
“It moves-“
“Why does it do that?” Grian screeched, knuckles white from gripping the wheel.
“I honestly- don’t know. Rolling on uneven ground?” Scar shrugged, wiping a tear from his eye- a tear?
“Dear god. That would’ve been nice to know…” Grian said through his teeth, slouching back in his seat again.
The car had really moved about three inches on the dirt roads, not exactly the speed Grian had hoped or reacted for. Which was okay! Now, he knew and now he was a professional.
“Well now you know. And that’s really it. Now you drive!” Scar clapped, then paused and gasped. “Oh, wait actually- can you see through this mirror?” He asked, tapping an oval shape, protruding through the roof of the car. Grian looked up at it. It was a mirror, and all he could see was the glassy, sunset sky.
“I can see the sky?”
Scar raised his eyebrows and shook his head. “Now that won’t do. You wanna be able to see cars behind you with this… which you probably won’t out here, but just in case. You can adjust it as needed, y’know, cause you’re so much shorter than I am.” Scar said that last part with a smirk.
Grian just furrowed his brow, reaching to adjust the mirror.
“You are insufferab- SCAR!” Grian shouted, suddenly very focused on what was in the mirror.
There was a car behind them. Driving towards them. Probably about six and a half yards away? Grian didn't have good depth perception. His hands tensed around the wheel, eyes locked on the reflection on the other car. This was his final moment, wasn’t it?
“There is a CAR, and it is headed RIGHT TOWARDS US, and WE ARE PARK-“
“Grian.” Scar said, a little louder than normal, just enough to overpower the shouting. A little frantic too. He gently placed a hand on Grian’s shoulder.
“Let off the break and go slowly.” He urged. Grian did, without a second thought, and they started to move.
It took about five seconds to really accelerate, Scar watched the speedometer with a few glances, then his eyes were back on Grian. Who still looked terrified.
“You’re driving.”
“I’m absolutely frightened.” Grian said, rigid, eyes on the road in front of him.
“You’re driving.” Scar repeated. A smile crept onto his face and he leaned back, away from Grian.
“Wait- I need you.” Grian paused. Scar did too, slowly turning his head back to Grian with his mouth hanging open. “I need you to tell me where to go.” Grian finished.
God, what was that?
“Ah- right.”
They both looked straight ahead, through the windshield. The field’s dirt road was ending, snaking around to merge with a slightly more finished road.
“Take a right. It’ll take you to another field… if you wanna keep driving? Without the other car behind you, of course?” Scar suggested.
Grian let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, easing his grip on the wheel and letting out a short chuckle.
“Yeah… yeah, that’s good.”
They drove around the rolling hills, holding conversations and gazes and moments of soft silence. As dusk came, they swapped again. Grian settled into his seat again as Scar drove deeper into town.
The ride home was quick. Grian watched buildings become more and more apparent, resting his head against the window. The air was quiet, but maybe it was just Grian falling asleep. Perhaps it was the dark atmosphere, or the droopy lids. Scar, of course, did not fall into this trap as the driver. The same could not be said for the passenger.
There was a muffled noise, repeating softly. It was like an echo chamber, too difficult to distinguish what was said.
The first thing Grian felt was a cold, hard surface behind him and soft, gentle hands shaking him awake.
“Grian?” Scar whispered again.
Grian grumbled, slowly blinking his eyes open. “Wha…. who…?”
Scar raised a tired eyebrow. “It’s your good pal, Scar. Wake up, Birdie.”
Grian groaned. His neck was craned in an odd position that left a sharp pain. It throbbed as he looked up, face to face with none other than Scar. Hair falling into his face, sleepy eyes, concern plastered all over his face. Grian might as well go back to sleep.
“G? You fell asleep for a little while there. I'm at your stop though.” Scar chuckled, pulling back his hands. Grian immediately missed the warmth, and for that reason only. It was cold in the car, icy in the way your ears were uncomfortable making contact with air. Did Scar even have the heating on?
“Yup… Got it.” Grian mumbled. He sat up, away from the window. “Why is it so cold in here?”
Scar puffed out a hot breath of air, putting a hand on the car’s control panel and patting it. “Because, good sir, the heating likes to go out on me, and It just decided to go out right when I have someone else with me!”
“Ridiculous.” Grian tutted. “You know, you really need to get that fixed. Just in case I ride in this car again.”
“Oh, don't you worry, I will. Only the best for you, G!” Scar beamed. Despite the cold temperature, Grian didn't feel as uncomfortable anymore. Not at all.
“How are you so energetic right now.” Grian said, more to himself as he gathered his little belongings together in his lap.
“I'm always energetic G.”
Grian shrugged, shoulders deflating a little. “Yeah. You're right. I should go. Thanks for this, Scar.”
“Wait- Yeah. Yeah, you're right I just wanted to thank you too.”
“Yup. Thanks.” Grian repeated with a clumsily wave. “Good night.”
“Good night, G.”
Later that night, Grian had a dream. One with the same face he’d seen while driving. The same face he’s seen for the past month, over and over. It never got old, even in sleep. It wasn't haunting him, it was keeping him company.
-
Later that week…
The cold was getting worse. Even worse than that night in Scar’s car. After waking up two hours before his alarm, Grian was already in a bad mood. His flat had been like the tundra, and his bed was the igloo. Still not very warm.
As he was leaving, he searched for his winter coat. It was only October, but it was surprisingly cold. Then again, he got cold easily. After a deep journey in his closet, he gave up when the clock was getting a little close for comfort. Grian’s last and only resort was to layer multiple sweaters, which was now a very uncomfortable thing in the heat of the bakery.
“What are you doing.” Gem said, exasperated from behind him. It was less of a question and more of a statement.
Grian just grumbled back, still taking off another layer of sweater.
“Can’t you tell Gem?” He said, trying to hide a smile behind a sweater in his hands. It was unsuccessful.
“You’re smiling!” She laughed, moving over to help him. “This is diabolical.”
“I know.” He smirked, stuffing the last piece of fleece in his cubby. There truly wasn't that many, but they made up for numbers in the sheer amount of space they took up.
“Grian.” Gem said, absolutely flat as a stone. “Why did you just stuff them in there like that?”
She threw her hands up in the air as he shrugged. “Terrible…” She mumbled.
Gem grabbed the sweater on the outside by the collar, slinging it over her shoulder.
“Here.” She grabbed two more and threw them into Grian’s empty, unprepared arms.
“Gem- what are you doing?” He said, scrambling to secure the fleece in his arms. Gem just shook her head, pulling out the last layer from the cubby.
“Folding them.” She sighed, almost like it was obvious. “You need this. I'm helping you.”
“Well, I never exactly asked for this help, did I?”
Gem swiftly folded a sweater, placing it on the bottom of the cubby.
“You sure do need it.” She muttered. “You’ll thank me for this when you leave today.”
Maybe Grian would. He thought about it later, sitting at an empty seat near the window. People watching was one of his past times during breaks, along with reading. Today, reading was not on the agenda. Actually, reading the same way he usually did wasn't in his agenda most of the weeks before. He hadn't sunk himself into a good thriller in a while now.
He tapped the table with a pen, eyes slowly following the figures outside the window. There was a group of boys, no younger than 15, who were laughing. Grian could almost hear the hysterics.
He smiled.
-
Scar
Hey, you free for a movie friday? Theres a new Hotguy coming out on streaming!!!!!!!😸
Grian furrowed his brow at the screen. He was in the middle of a supermarket, standing in the bread aisle. A little confused, a little excited. He didn't even know what HotGuy was. Supposedly a movie?
It sounded corny. Then again, that was what Scar was all about. He swiped out of the message app and pulled up safari, hastily typing up “hotguy movie” in the search bar. As it loaded, he proved himself correct. It was actually a comic, movie franchise, TV show, and a book.
The first image that appeared was one of a man, most likely HotGuy. He had a cinematic smile on his face, eyes focused beyond the frame of the picture. He looked whimsical and fun, and… almost like a superhero? Grian scrolled down to the summary of the franchise, almost rolling his eyes at himself when he read it.
HotGuy is a superhero comic franchise, focused on the fictional character HotGuy, a part time superhero working for an Agency. The story is…
Obviously he was a superhero, given the outfit he was wearing. Grian noticed that now. He shook his head, slowly starting to move from the shelves he was standing in front of. He could sense someone waiting for him to move in his periphery vision. As embarrassing as it was, he kept his eyes on the screen, trying to look intrigued by HotGuy of all things.
As he walked, he thought about it. It couldn't hurt, right?
That Friday, he was outside waiting for Scar to pick him up. Another night was taken from Grian’s agenda due to a movie. With the same, charming man who picked him up in a shabby truck. If his calendar was sentient, it would think he was crazy.
This HotGuy movie had been something Scar had been anticipating for months, or at least in his words. Grian had personally never heard of it before Scar telling him about it, but when did he know anything about movies?
“Its finally out!” Scar said, voice high. You could tell he was excited just by the way his leg bounced. Grian couldn’t lie, it was infectious. “Are you ready for the best night of your life?”
Grian froze. Oh, was it not a conversation with Scar without turning Grian’s face a little red. Best night of his life? Who did he think he was? He decided to try and move on from that.
“I tried to research this guy, but I didn't want to get any spoilers.”
Scar instantly turned to the other, eyes wide with surprise. “Really, you did?”
“It's not that big a deal.” Grian scoffed, waving a hand around.
“It is! Don't worry G, this is only the second movie adaptation, so the first one was mostly set up. It was basically just HotGuy dealing with mundane problems, explaining to the audience his two lives, and introducing CuteGuy of course!”
Grian paused, raising an eyebrow at the name. “I don't remember reading about that-”
“OH- Cuteguy is only the…”
After going through a whole spiel, which Grian silently enjoyed, Scar pressed play on the movie.
And man was the title accurate.
Hotguy, the main character, was charming to say the least. Grian knew he was manufactured to be the hot superhero. The kind of guy who would save a cat stuck in a tree. He thought the producers did a wonderful job on making him as attractive as possible.
“He kinda looks like you.” Grian said, observing the man on the screen. He lazily lifted his hand up from its resting place on the pillow to point.
Scar gasped low, and a thud sounded, assumingly the sound of Scar putting his hand on his heart. “Really?” He whispered. Grian could just hear his grin.
“Really.”
Tan skin, striking eyes, brown hair and an award winning smile. One that, probably, was actually award winning. Grian thought Scar’s was better though.
“Your smile’s better though…” Grian whispered, not even focused on what sentence had just come out of his mouth.
Scar had heard, because he was now still and beetroot red.
They continued watching though. Throughout the movie, Scar would not stop talking. About behind the scene details, actor’s favorite foods, more information about whatever the characters were talking about. Anything that could be added onto, he would.
At some point, Grian leaned back further on the couch, stretching his arms behind him. Both were focused on the movie. Until they weren’t.
Grian could feel eyes on him. Familiar ones. Not uncomfortable… just curious.
So, he glanced over to the right. Scar was staring right at him.
He followed Scar’s eyes and they landed on his torso. Grian’s shirt had been rising up as he’d reclined his arms back. Though, it wasn’t the skin Scar was staring at. It was what was on it. A scar.
Suddenly, the tone of the room shifted from playful to pitiful.
Grian knew that scar like the back of his hand. Long, thin, pale and one of many. As soon as Scar looked back up at Grian’s face, he faltered.
“Sorry!” He said, pink cheeks visible even in the dim light. “I shouldn’t have been staring. I just… just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
Oh.
Scar was wondering about Grian. Isn’t that what a normal person would feel though? Curiosity about someone you’ve been spending a lot of time with isn’t special. It’s normal, average. Grian wasn’t sure if it could categorize into care, but even that was courtesy.
“It’s old. It's nothing. I’m fine.” Grian said, monotone, eyes back on the TV. Scar didn't push though. He left the subject alone.
As they watched the movie, the air was awkward. It had something thick, unresolved lingering. Scar’s favorite movie franchise was playing, and he did not at all seem absorbed by it.
Suddenly, Grian felt bad. A pang shot through his heavy heart. He had pulled Scar’s attention away from something he loved, something he should've been focused on and ranting about right then.
Scar was still, and with a quick, fleeting sideways glance Grian could see his posture. It was rigid, like he was frozen by a cold breeze. Yet there was no breeze in Scar’s living room. Only comfortable air, blankets stacked neatly on the floor next to the sofa and pillows. Cold was not the reason Scar was still. It was the sight of Grian’s own scars.
He was never supposed to see them. Scar could've been someone that never even suspected any shortcomings in his childhood development. Nothing that would scream “my parents hated me” was ever supposed to show. Not even a glance.
But Grian could tell Scar was suspicious. In a concerned way, of course, but that only made him more nervous. He may not be onto what it was exactly, but from the look in his eyes, Grian knew Scar presumed it was more than a little cut.
He could play it off as one. An accident as a kid or adolescent. Something stupid was done, something with his friends that pulled the crazy out. Maybe a fall, or an accidental wave of a sharp object.
Grian could be just overthinking this whole thing. Scar could really just be watching the movie like normal, a little weirded out by the mark along Grian’s torso, but overall unbothered. He could really just think it was some stupid accident. A one time thing. But that was only until he saw more of them.
If Grian was gonna spend more of his time with Scar, one day he would see them. It was inevitable. Yet, Grian had a deep feeling thinking about hypothetically pushing Scar away. It wasn’t a good one.
He might even say he was getting a little attached, and oh no that wasn't good.
Grian sat up a little in response to that thought. Attached? Was he sure? He wasn't even sure what it felt like. It had been something he’d been avoiding for a long time.
A sudden, fleeting thought nestled into Grian’s brain. What if he told Scar? About… well about everything? Maybe it would help with understanding why Grian was so strange. What would he think? How would he see Grian then?
For a moment, he let it be perfect. Scar was okay with it. He didn't really care. He would be kind to Grian about it, never use it against him.
But that wasn't how people acted around him. People would take his family line and distort it. Use it like a weapon to slay him. The only ones who had never done such a thing were the ones who were with him when it happened. They understood more than anyone did.
Grian subconsciously started to pick at his nails, one by one removing the skin around them like an unveiling. In the faint television glow, he felt unsettled. Something felt unresolved.
It was not resolved that night. Grian wondered if It ever would be.