Chapter Text
“Are you sure you can walk?” Komaeda asks, seemingly worried as he casts his eyes on Hinata.
However, Hinata is smiling, eyes sparkling and feeling warm as he has Komaeda's green coat on. Giving him a curt nod, his smile softens as a blush appears on his cheeks.
“I'm okay. You don't have to worry about me.” Hinata tilts his head with a soft smile, happy that he finally has Komaeda's attention.
As he's about to take a step, his legs wobble and almost give out. He lets out a yelp as Komaeda catches him from falling down.
“Hinata-kun! Be careful, please. Your body might still be a bit weak from.. you know?” Komaeda looks away and shrugs, seemingly not wanting to talk about it.
Hinata feels embarrassed, embarrassed that despite having all these talents, he's still a burden.
So much for being a superhuman. I still feel like a burden to everyone, especially him.
Hinata blushes more as he grumbles a bit, looking down as he silently thanks the white haired male.
“I know I might not be very strong physically, but I can carry you to your cottage if you're okay with it.” Komaeda suggests, blushing a bit as Hinata's eyes widened from the suggestion.
“No! You don't have to. I mean, I can be a bit heavy for you since I.. I'm not saying you don't have a built body or anything, but it's just you.. your body..” Hinata places his hand on the other's shoulder, looking at him with big concerned eyes. “I don't want to make you collapse nor break your bones.”
Hinata winces as he sees Komaeda looking down at himself, seemingly to curse himself silently.
Great. Way to boost the boy you love confidence. Good job, asshole.
“I may be pathetic, but I'm not that weak.” Komaeda frowns, crouching down as he urges Hinata to get on his back.
Hinata feels a bit reluctant as he wraps his arms around the other's neck, feeling the other standing and grabbing his legs as they head towards his cottage.
As they reach Hinata's cottage, Komaeda places him down on the floor, looking at him with worn out yet concerned eyes which causes Hinata's heart to stir.
“Well, I suppose I should get going now. I'll see you tomorrow–”
Hinata quickly grabs Komaeda's arm as the white haired male turns around to leave, not wanting the boy to leave him.
“Don't go. Stay, please.” Hinata can almost feel himself cringe at how needy he sounds, but he doesn't care. He wants the boy around, he doesn't want to lose him. “Please.”
Komaeda sighs as he lets Hinata lead him inside the cottage, his touch soft yet so firm, not hard enough to hurt the pale boy.
Hinata feels himself smile as he sees the boy in his cottage, in his private space (well, it's not the first time he lets the boy come into his cottage, but it still feels good to have him around).
“We can take a shower if you want, since both of us are still wet from the seawater. Or, if that makes you uncomfortable, you can head first.” Hinata blushes at the thought, at the thought of them both naked under the shower, washing each other and..
“It's okay. Like I said before during the program, I don't mind if you want to see me naked, Hinata-kun~.” Komaeda shoots him a little teasing grin as he starts to strip, causing Hinata to blush harder at the other's action and to stutter.
“T-that's not what I meant! I-I.. I uh..” Hinata loses his words once he sees Komaeda in nothing but his boxers as he heads towards the bathroom, shooting a grin at Hinata's direction.
“Feel free to join.” Komaeda takes off his prosthetic hand as he enters the bathroom, leaving Hinata to be a blushing mess.
Hinata shakes his head quickly as he tries not to think about some erotic thoughts that entered his brain.
He tries his best not to sound so weird as he takes off Komaeda's coat along with his clothes, heading to the bathroom and opening the door.
He feels his breath is taken out of him once he enters the bathroom and sees Komaeda under the shower, his back turned to him.
Swallowing a good chunk of saliva, he joins the other while trying his best to not look at the other's private parts.
“Hinata-kun..”
Hinata looks up to see the other looking at him, now both of them facing each other.
“I know this is not a very good place to talk, but we still have to.” Komaeda looks away, seemingly feeling embarrassed as he hugs himself like he's about to say something bad about himself.
Hinata grabs a bottle of shampoo and squeezes a generous amount of it on his hand, starting to wash Komaeda's hair. “Close your eyes. You don't want to sting your own eyes, do you?”
Komaeda closes his eyes as he lets Hinata continue the process.
“I didn't mean to act like a big jerk, I never wanted to make you feel bad about yourself.” Komaeda starts and Hinata feels like his heart breaks all over again at the reminder. Just as he is about to ask why, Komaeda continues. “I was heading to the dining hall to have breakfast with you, just as we promised. But as I reached there, I accidentally overheard the conversation you were having with Koizumi-san, about you hating me.”
Hinata frowns as he rinses the shampoo from the others hair, washing it as he tries to think which conversation Komaeda is talking about. That is until it rings the bell and he realises which one, causing him to let out a gasp.
“Good morning, Hinata-kun.” Koizumi greeted him with a smile and a wave, causing Hinata to return the gesture.
“Good morning, Koizumi.” Hinata let out a smile as he continued to prepare the breakfast for Komaeda and himself.
“Making breakfast for Komaeda-kun?” Koizumi let out a teasing smirk, causing Hinata to blush and send her a semi glare which made the redhead let out a giggle.
“I never thought I'd see the day where you would be so open about your feelings, you know?” She shrugged as she walked to him and started to help him.
“Well, I was planning a whole day with him and then, maybe I could talk to him about how I really feel.” Hinata blushed as he looked down, causing the girl to let another giggle.
“It's cute, even though it's weird how you two got along with each other pretty quickly.” She shrugged.
It was weird to everyone how the two got along that fast, yet again, it wasn't surprising at all for them to catch feelings for each other.
“I know how you feel about it. It seemed like we hated each other, didn't it?” Hinata stopped his actions as he remembered their past.
“Sort of. It's just surprising to me. You know?” She looked at him with a small smile.
“I know. To be honest, it's actually surprising to me as well, since the guy is hard to get.” Hinata let out a wry laugh as he remembered all the times he hung out with Komaeda, how he told himself that he was just doing it for everyone's protection when in reality he was also concerned about the other boy's safety as well.
“I still wonder how you two even get along, since you know how Komaeda-kun usually is.” Koizumi seemed to be curious about them which made Hinata blush a bit.
It wasn't like he would tell his past and his sort of romance stories to anyone, not even his close friends.
“Well, I was told to keep an eye on him and make sure that “he's not doing anything dangerous to put everyone in danger”.” Hinata made a little finger motion as he quoted Soda’s words.
“He just has this.. weird side of him that I never understand. Besides, I don't think anyone has the capability to control the situation around him except me. I was even frustrated every time I heard him rambling, especially the time you sent me to bring him food when he was tied up. “I hate it. I never want to experience it again. And I hate him” were the things I tried to tell myself, but deep down I knew that none of them were true.” Hinata blushed more as he fiddled with his tie, looking down at the food he had prepared for them.
“I knew that I still cared about him, but I didn't want to accept that. Due to time, I also knew that I may have feelings for him as well, but I tried to tell myself that maybe it was just my head playing tricks on me. Then I saw his body and..” Hinata swallowed. “It doesn't matter. Because now I know..” He looked at the girl with a smile that seemed confident enough to say his next words.
“I know that I care for him. I know that I love him, and I'm planning to tell him today.” He felt encouraged when he felt Koizumi's hand on his shoulder and gave him an encouraging squeeze.
“Then go get your boy before it's too late.” Koizumi gave him a smile and thumbs up as he picked up the tray and walked towards their usual seat..
Not knowing how the other boy took the whole conversation in the wrong way..
“Nagito.. the things you're saying, I don't understand. Why would it make you think that I hate you?” Hinata is confused as now he's washing the other's back.
“Because you said it yourself, you never wanted to experience being around me and you hate me–”
“Were the things I told myself during the Neo World Program, but not anymore.” Hinata immediately cuts off Komaeda's words as he turns the other around, facing each other. “If I hated you like you thought I would, then why did I keep hanging out with you and asked you to keep doing so? Why did I always make sure that you were included in every event? Why do I always feel like my life is a living hell in a world you don't exist in?!” Hinata feels himself tearing up a bit at the last one, because it's true. A world without Komaeda in it feels like living in hell disguised as earth.
Every time Hinata thinks about the possibility of losing the boy (especially how the boy has been suffering from two fatal illnesses), he feels like dying.
Hinata looks at Komaeda in the eyes and when he sees the other smiling, he knows something is off, especially with how sad and bitter the smile is.
“You know, when I saw you for the first time in the simulation, you striked me as someone special despite being average. Despite also looking average, you were so handsome and it seemed like everyone else agreed, especially the girls.” Komaeda looks down, looking away from Hinata's eyes. “When I saw how you got along with everyone else, especially with someone as perfect as Nanami-san, I knew I never had the chance. But it wasn't just her you seemed to get along. It was everyone else.”
Komaeda turns his back to Hinata, making the brunette's heart break even more for the boy as he goes on.
“You were this shining hope that everyone admired and loved, and it seemed like you were enjoying your time more with them than with me. I mean, of course you wouldn't. I just rambled about.. something I could never have because all I had experienced was despair. I lost my pet, I lost my parents, I lost my friend, I always have to lose something due to my presence. So, of course I didn't blame you for not wanting to be around me, for not wanting to hear me out.”
Hinata feels himself tearing up as he hears how Komaeda's voice shakes.
“You had this talent to pull anyone closer to yourself, as if you were a magnet that could pull anything and anyone closer. You were so magnetic that everyone was drawn into you. You also had this charisma inside you that made everyone even more drawn. You were just.. so perfect and so charismatic.” The boy lets out a shaky laugh, pale shoulders shaking under the shower’s hitting water. “I heard from some people.. how you managed to charm the ladies. There was even this rumor that you confessed to Peckoyama-san even though she rejected you for Kuzuryu-kun. Or how you asked Tsumiki-san to marry you..”
Hinata cringes at the mention of those, feeling ashamed of himself. Despite the fact that they are kind of true, they all happened in the Neo World Program and he was just trying to gather as many hope fragments as he could. Sure he used to have a silly crush on his best friend's girlfriend (which the yakuza seems still bitter about and sometimes amused from the situation) or he made a stupid decision by asking Tsumiki to marry him just because he thought it was a good solution for her loneliness, but they were all in the past. It's not like he has any feelings for them and neither do the girls.
“Tsumiki-san is such a beautiful girl, and a kind one too. She also has a very useful talent which is being a nurse and with you also having the Ultimate Doctor talent, you two will have a bright future together.” Komaeda lets out a delirious laugh and when Hinata sees his face, his heart shatters into pieces as he sees the tears mingled with the shower water.
“Or maybe you were just being kind and tried to help her with getting bullied and stayed by her side..” Komaeda suddenly looks down. “But I was alone too. I needed somebody's love too.”
Hinata is now crying, trying to wipe his tears as he covers his mouth to silent his sobs.
“I guess she was right at the end of the third trial, I never understood love because there was no one to experience it with. However, there was you and I somehow fell in love with you.. but it seemed like it wasn't returned.” Komaeda hugs himself, tears streaming down his beautiful face as he turns off the water.
“Sometimes, I wished that you knew me as well as you know her since we both were lonely. But I guess it was my fault for not making you understand but instead being more confused.” Komaeda heads out of the bathroom, grabbing a towel as he waits for Hinata to come out.
Hinata is still crying, his chest hurts as he just heard how lonely the other used to be and how he wishes he could turn back the time so he could make the boy feel less lonely.
“Well, now you know about everything. So, I hope you can forgive–” Komaeda is cut off as Hinata throws himself onto him, hugging him tight.
“Hinata-kun..?”
“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry I..” He hugs Komaeda tighter, feeling his throat getting closed. “I never meant to make you feel lonely, I never meant to make you feel left out. I.. Nagito.”
Hinata feels himself crying even more as he feels Komaeda's hand on his shoulder, pulling Hinata away slightly so they can dry each other off. Hinata wipes his face as he helps the other with the towel.
Hinata frowns as he feels his hands are shaking while moving the towel across Komaeda's divine body. He wants to hug him again, latching onto the pale boy's body and never let go. He wants to reassure the white haired boy that he's not alone anymore, that he's loved and wanted, that he has him.
“I'm here.” Hinata rasps. “You're not alone. I'm here.”
Hinata cups the other's cheek, caressing the soft pale skin with his thumb. “I'm not going to leave you again, I promise. I..” Tears gather his eyes again as he tries to blink them off. “I don't think I can do that again. Because I–”
I love you. I love you! I love you so much! I can't live without you. I don't want to leave you alone again, because I feel like nothing without your existence. And I am nothing, just like you said. Please, have me! Make me yours just like I.. Izuru made you his. I'll happily embrace it, I'd gladly be yours. Please. Use me to extend the–
“Hinata-kun.” Komaeda sighs, shaking his head with a smile. “It's okay. I understand.”
Hinata looks at him with a remorseful eyes as he continues the task in hand, drying off each other's bodies.
Once both of them finish drying off one another, Hinata decides to give the other one of his oversized shirts, along with a pair of boxers.
“You can have my clothes, tomorrow I'll bring your wet clothes to the laundry along with mine. So.. you can–” As Hinata is about to give the clothes to the other, Komaeda shakes his head.
“I appreciate your kindness, Hinata-kun. But I think it's better if I return to my own cottage.” Just as Komaeda finishes his words, the sound of a thunder suddenly booms from the outside and the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the window can be heard.
“Well, looks like you're staying here.” Hinata crosses his arms as a slight smile appears on his face, happy that he can have the boy for himself tonight.
Hinata's smile widens once he sees Komaeda grabbing the shirt and the boxers and putting them on. He feels his heart skipping a beat as he sees the white haired boy in his shirt and boxers, how the shirt is so big and loose for the boy as it exposes his pale shoulder and how it almost reaches his knees.
Hinata blushes as he keeps staring at the boy in front of him in his clothes. He smiles as he sits on the bed and pats on the spot next to him, urging the boy to come closer.
“Ah! It's really generous of you to share your bed with someone like me, Hinata-kun. But I think it's better for both of us if I take the couch instead.” Komaeda lets out a dry awkward chuckle as he steps towards the couch.
Hinata frowns as he pats the spot again, this time more impatiently. There's no way in hell he will let the boy sleep on the couch.
“Ko.” Hinata says softly, extending his hand towards the boy. “Come here, please. Come closer.”
He hates how his voice shakes, how vulnerable he sounds right now. However, he doesn't care. This night has been humiliating enough for him to even think about his own nonexistent confidence.
Komaeda looks at him and as if he were hypnotized, he gets closer to Hinata, sitting next to him.
Hinata smiles when he sees Komaeda next to him. Getting closer to the white haired male, Hinata sits on the other's lap and hugs him tight.
“I missed you.” Hinata mumbles in the crook of the other's neck. “It felt so gloomy without you around me, so quiet. I missed hearing you rambling about your interests and the things you're passionate about. I missed your bright presence around me.”
Hinata feels his eyes water again as he closes it. “I felt like I failed you as a person, as a friend. To think that I could make you feel loved..” He lets out a sad laugh. “I'm such a loser, aren't I? You say I'm charismatic, but I'm nothing. I'm just a shitty person with a piss-poor attitude. I'm not kind, I'm blunt, sarcastic, brutally honest about everything, even the bad stuff.”
Hinata hugs the other tighter. “But I'm certain about one thing. That day you overheard my conversation with Koizumi, I wasn't talking shit about you. I was telling her about my feelings for you, and how I was planning to confess to you that day.” Hinata looks up at him with tearful eyes, caressing Komaeda's cheek with one hand. “I love you. I've always loved you. The reason I haven't told you is because I wasn't ready. I didn't know how to do it without screwing it up. But I mean it when I say it. I mean it every time I say this to you. I love you, Ko. I love you so much. I love you.”
Hinata presses his forehead against Komaeda's. “It's okay if you don't feel the same anymore. I understand. After all, I made you wait way too much for myself to reciprocate these feelings.” He feels tears streaming down his face. “Just never leave my side, it kills me when you do. Stay with me, please.”
He feels a hand touching his face, wiping the tears. The coldness of the touch makes Hinata open his eyes as he sees Komaeda smiling at him with tears in his eyes.
“Would you like to have breakfast with me tomorrow?” Komaeda asks, caressing Hinata's cheek with care and what seems like.. love.
Hinata feels like the world is given to him, he feels like he has died in that ocean and he's in heaven right now.
But this is real, Komaeda still wants him around, he stays.
Hinata smiles and lets out a laugh filled with joy and happiness, kissing the boy's lips as tears of joy stream down his face.
He loves the feeling of the boy's lips on his, the softness of his skin under his touch, the feeling of love..
Hinata loves everything about this feeling.
Pulling away a little from the kiss, ready to dive into another as he gives his answer to Komaeda's request.
“I'd love to.”