Chapter Text
[Tape clicks on.]
[Sounds of a social gathering.]
ELIAS
[astonished] Peter?
PETER
[discontentedly] Elias.
ELIAS
On my word! The one person I would not expect to see here! Please don’t tell me Rosie sent you an invitation!
PETER
No, I actually came by to check in on a statement that has my name mentioned. To make sure it isn’t too… thoroughly investigated.
Also, “not expect”? Really?
ELIAS
Is it so hard to believe I wouldn’t have thought to check whether you might be here?
PETER
Fair point.
Care to explain how come my funds are spent in a fashion that goes directly against everything I stand for? Am I to consider this a particularly roundabout provocation?
ELIAS
Goodness, I’d never! No, this is solely the result of a rather embarrassing fiscal misestimation. As it turns out, my previous Head Archivist used to generate a great deal more expenses than my current one. And seeing as this only became apparent towards the end of October… Well. It was either this or a heartwarming Christmas dinner.
PETER
…Or you could’ve simply paid the higher tax rate.
ELIAS
And support the state so it could add to the citizens’ wellbeing?! Perish the thought! Besides, I reckoned it was time my new protégé started getting used to some… visibility.
MARTIN
Um… E-excuse me! Erm, M-Mr Bouchard? Oh! Oh, terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation… um… I- I’m Martin Blackwood, the, um, archival assistant. P-pleasure to meet you.
[Beat.]
ELIAS
Martin, this is Peter Lukas, one of our Institute’s chief benefactors.
MARTIN
Oh! Ohh! Mr Lukas! I’m so sorry, I should’ve realised… E-except I’d never had the pleasure. Um. Delighted to finally put a face on the name. We here at the Institute vastly appreciate your contributions, and-
[The Lonely static starts.]
PETER
[intently] Leave. Me. Alone.
[Beat.]
MARTIN
Um. Y-yes. Yes, of course. My apologies. Erm…
ELIAS
[cordially] Did you need anything, Martin?
MARTIN
Oh! Er, yes. Um, s-some people have, uh, been wondering what happened to the, uh, coffee machine. S-sorry to trouble you with this. I, uh, t-tried asking around but nobody seems to know…
[The Lonely static increases.]
ELIAS
Ah, yes. I had Tim move it. He’ll know where it is.
MARTIN
Right. Great! Th-thank you. And, again, sorry to have bothered you with this.
ELIAS
No bother at all, Martin. Enjoy the party.
MARTIN
Sure! Thanks. It, um, it was nice to meet you, Mr Lukas.
[The Lonely static ceases.]
[Beat.]
[Elias snorts.]
PETER
[annoyed huff] Serves me right, I suppose. I should’ve known better than to go after one of your own. Still, impressive of you to block me so effortlessly.
ELIAS
Oh, as much as I’d love to take credit, that wasn’t me. Although, needless to say, I would’ve intervened.
PETER
Then how?
ELIAS
He never saw you to begin with. Not in a significant way. Nor me, for that matter. He came here with his eye on one person, and one person only. As far as he was concerned, you were hardly there.
PETER
So much so that it would render him immune to my abilities?
ELIAS
Apparently so.
PETER
And you don’t mind your subordinates forming such… wholesome connections?
ELIAS
On the contrary. I find his doomed affection rather endearing. Not to mention, it can prove very useful if properly utilised.
PETER
Hm.
ELIAS
Now come. Let’s take this to my office before your socially-induced grumpiness spills all over the place.
[Tape clicks off.]
***
[Tape clicks on.]
[Door opens, light switches on, door closes. Footsteps.]
[Jonathan exhales wearily, collapses onto a chair.]
[Beat.]
[Rustling of paper.]
JONATHAN
Hm. Might as well. Let’s see…
[More rustling of paper.]
JONATHAN – CONT’D
[clears throat] Statement of Brian O’Leary regarding- [indignant] Leprechaun sightings?! Oh come on! What’s this even doing here?!
[Sounds of Jon browsing statements.]
JONATHAN – CONT’D
[mutters] …”mysterious gifts from a crow”… yeah, they do that… “constantly misplaced keys”… it’s called Alzheimer’s, sir… “seeing repeating numbers”… “Jesus on a toast”… I swear, do none of those three review anything anymore?!
[The door opens.]
TIM
Jon…? Oh! There you are!
JONATHAN
[with a hint of annoyance] Yes? Did you, uh, need anything?
TIM
Uh, no. Just to tell you the coffee machine’s in the storage room. Martin said you wanted it.
JONATHAN
Right. Thanks.
[Beat.]
TIM
Are you… all right in here?
JONATHAN
[wearily] Yes, thank you. Why? Has Elias noticed I’m gone?
TIM
N-no, I don’t think so. Others have though. Everyone wants to properly meet the new Head Archivist.
JONATHAN
[sigh] Yes, apparently so. Can’t really see why. I’m not exactly a new hire.
TIM
Well, there's a difference between working together and meeting socially. The four of us have been in the Archives for a while now, seeing each other almost every day, but I still wouldn’t mind catching a drink and getting to know you better.
JONATHAN
…No, thank you.
[Beat.]
TIM
Oh! [nervous chuckle] Shit, that came out all wrong! I, I meant all four of us- You know, Sasha, Martin… I wasn’t-
JONATHAN
[calmly] I know you weren’t. We're good, Tim.
[Sounds of rustling paper while Jon continues browsing the folders.]
JONATHAN – CONT’D
[clicks his tongue] Do you know who left these on my desk?
TIM
Wha- Oh! Shit, I think it was me! Sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
JONATHAN
Right... I just wish I'd known. Now they're all mixed up with the ones I was going to record.
TIM
Oh. Damn. Here, let me...
[Tim begins sorting the statements alongside Jon.]
JONATHAN
[still wearily, but it can be read as annoyed] Leave it, it's fine. You're technically off the clock.
TIM
[genuine] Listen, I'm really sorry I left them here, it was an honest mistake. In my defence, I didn't think you'd be working tonight.
JONATHAN
It's fine. I've got this. Just- Go.
TIM
[guiltily] Look, if you don't want me doing it now, I'll come in early and sort this out first thing tomorrow. Please, just leave this, and let's have a drink... or a coffee, or what have you.
JONATHAN
[dismissively] Maybe later.
TIM
Jon, this... it feels like you're punishing me! Or at least guilt-tripping.
JONATHAN
[sounding more and more tired] I'm not. Seriously, just go enjoy the party. If you're feeling guilty, you can fetch me that coffee.
TIM
[playfully] Or, hear me out, you could tag along and drink your coffee while having fun at the party.
JONATHAN
[snaps] Has it not occurred to you that I simply don't care for spending the evening surrounded by you lot!?
[Beat.]
TIM
Wow. Okay.
[Tim leaves.]
[Jon covers his face with his hands and groans self-reproachfully.]
JONATHAN
Well done, Jon. Stellar performance.
[Tape clicks off.]
***
[Tape clicks on.]
[Sounds of a social gathering.]
SASHA
What’s got you in a mood?
TIM
Meh. You know, the ush. Lousy job, narky boss. At least my colleague’s nice. The kind, caring sort.
SASHA
Aww.
TIM
[teases] …And then there’s you.
[Sasha giggles.]
SASHA
So, what’s Jon done now?
TIM
Doesn’t matter. Just been Jon, really. His usual aloof, grumpy self.
SASHA
In fact, where is he? I haven’t actually seen him for a while.
TIM
[scoffs] Yeah, that’s because he’s sitting cooped up in his office. Reading statements.
MARTIN
S- Sorry, what?
SASHA
Jon’s working in his office?
TIM
M-hm.
MARTIN
W-why though?
TIM
Because he’s an antisocial twat? I saw the light on, came in to check if he was all right, and… Well. Let’s just say he made it pretty clear he’d rather be left alone!
MARTIN
M-maybe he’s just not feeling well?
SASHA
Do you think he might’ve got overwhelmed? You know, by all this crowd? I mean, he obviously isn’t a people’s person.
TIM
[sighs heavily] Shit. I guess that checks out.
MARTIN
I feel bad for him. He’s sitting there, all alone in his office while everyone else is having fun.
TIM
I doubt dragging him back here would do any good.
MARTIN
No, obviously not. It’s just… I don’t know. I’d like to help him somehow. Not sure how, though.
SASHA
Well. There’s a difference between a rowdy room full of people, and three faces he’s well used to.
[Tape clicks off.]
***
[Tape clicks on.]
JONATHAN
…according to the follow-up interview Sasha has conducted-
[Knock on the door.]
JONATHAN – CONT’D
Yes?
SASHA
Hey, um. Sorry, I saw the light was on and- Erm, are you all right?
JONATHAN
[wearily] Yes, everything’s fine. Just, um, catching a breather. Parties aren’t exactly my scene. Too many eyes.
SASHA
[smiles] Yeah, I feel you. Say, are you… reading statements?
JONATHAN
Just to pass the time, really.
SASHA
Hm. Mind if I join you?
JONATHAN
Wh- what?
SASHA
Frankly, I could use with a break myself. I don’t mind hanging out with the folks from the Institute, but my social battery isn’t all that great.
JONATHAN
So you… want to sit here and listen while I read statements?
SASHA
[chuckles] I mean. Halloween, spooky stories… Fits the vibe, don’t you think? Unless you’d rather be left alone then that’s fine too.
JONATHAN
No, um… Knock yourself out.
[Squeak of the door opening wider.]
MARTIN
[shyly] Mind if we sit in, too?
JONATHAN
Oh. N- not at all. [remorsefully] Tim, about earlier, I-
TIM
I was out of line. Too much bevvy, got all pushy. Sorry.
JONATHAN
Um. Yeah. Likewise.
[brightening] So, uh, any particular theme you’d like? A personal favourite? Or, actually, hang on, I think I have just the thing…
[Tape clicks off.]
***
[Tape clicks on.]
ELIAS
[annoyed sigh] Look what you’ve made me do!
PETER
Abhorrent indeed, I’ll give you that.
ELIAS
You know, an assistant is one thing, but going after my Head Archivist? Did you really think I’d stand for it?
PETER
What can I say? The boy hurt my pride, I needed an outlet. And your Archivist was basically doing my job for me already so…
ELIAS
Let me reiterate then.
[The Beholding static starts.]
ELIAS – CONT’D
If you ever so much as consider going after one of my staff…
[The Lonely static starts.]
PETER
[darkly] What, Elias? What exactly will you do?
ELIAS
Try me and you’ll find out.
[Both statics increase.]
[Sounds of Peter’s discomfort. The Lonely static decreases until it fades away.]
PETER
[hisses] Fine! All right, fine! You’ve made your point! S- s-stop!
[The Beholding static ceases.]
PETER – CONT’D
I hate when you do that.
ELIAS
And yet, you keep asking for more.
[Sounds of a drink poured and a tumbler placed on the desk. They both drink in silence.]
ELIAS – CONT’D
Oh, now, don’t be so sullen. Tell you what. How about a little wager, hm?
[Tape clicks off.]