Chapter Text
PACU is quiet. Too quiet. Jack’s in his own little room, tucked away from the chaos downstairs. The monitors he’s hooked up to beep softly, steady and calm. Nothing like the madness they're used to in the Pitt.
There’s one nurse inside, someone Robby recognizes. She’s charting something, glancing up when he steps through the doorway.
He tries to smile at her, but his eyes are already fixed on Jack.
It feels easier to breathe now that he can see him, check him over himself.
“Hey, brother,” Robby murmurs, fingers brushing Jack’s bare arm.
“He won’t be awake for a little bit. Maybe the next hour or so.” The nurse gives him a kind smile. “But I expect you know that.”
Robby aches to gather Jack into his arms, to kiss warm skin, to wrap himself around him and feel him whole and alive. But he can’t. Not here. Not like this.
“Sorry...uh, I’m Dr. Robby, and you are?” He reluctantly lets his gaze shift off Jack’s sleeping face and to the nurse. He extends a hand.
“Jenny Gonzalez,” she says, shaking it.
“How’s he doing, Jenny?” His eyes are already drifting to Jack’s monitor again.
“Heart rate’s a little higher than expected, but trauma can do that. Slightly hypertensive...”
“Low-grade fever,” Robby mutters, reading the data she’s been entering.
“Also expected,” she says gently. “All in all, Dr. Abbot is recovering exactly how we’d want him to. I’ll be in and out, making sure he’s comfortable. If you need anything, just press the buzzer.”
“Thanks, Jenny. Oh- would you tell Dr. Ellis, she’s just outside, that I’ll only be a few minutes?”
“Sure thing, Dr. Robby.” She smiles before slipping out.
Robby stands at the foot of the bed, just looking at Jack.
He looks pale. Exhausted, even though he’s unconscious. There are dark shadows beneath his eyes, and the NG tube is taped securely beneath one nostril. IV lines flow antibiotics and fluids into him. A JP drain rests against the sheets.
He wants to take all of it away. The cannulas, the lines, the tubing...and climb into bed beside him, shield him, keep him safe for once. But he can’t. These things are keeping Jack alive. Robby sees all of them every day; hell, he places most of them in patients himself, but when they’re attached to Jack Abbot? They suddenly look terrifying to him.
The non-rebreather mask covers most of his face, hiding the features Robby knows too well.
Robby drags a chair close and sits. He reaches out, gently lifting Jack’s right hand. It’s bruised around one of the cannulas. Heavy. Too still.
“Hey, Jack,” he whispers, voice already breaking. “You gotta stop doing this to me. First you take off to Iraq and get blown up, now you’re acting like a human shield at work? I’m going to go into heart failure if you keep this up.”
He huffs a watery laugh, shaking his head.
“What’s wrong with a quiet life, huh? Too boring for you? Let’s make a deal. From here on out, life is going to be boring. Extremely boring. The most exciting thing you’ll do is intubate a patient. The rest of the time? Super fuckin’ safe. And we’ll find other ways to make life exciting. No more explosions. No more action-man crap. No more knives.”
His voice cracks again. “Let’s make that deal, okay? Just you and me.”
Robby lowers his head, resting it against Jack’s hand. He kisses his knuckles, letting his tears fall there for a moment before pulling back.
“Parker’s right outside,” he says quietly. “She’s okay. You probably saved her life, so she’s going to owe you every holiday request for the next decade. She’ll want to see you, so I should wrap this up.”
He swallows hard.
“I just...Jack, I...needed a minute with you first. Needed to see you breathing with my own eyes. And you better not make fun of me when you wake up, asshole.”
He squeezes Jack’s limp hand, then sets it carefully back on the blanket.
“I don’t know if you can hear me,” Robby says as he stands, “but when you wake up, things are going to change. We’re having the conversation. You know which one.” His breath trembles. “I can’t go another day without telling you that you’re the reason I wake up each morning.”
A shuddering sob escapes him. His hand drifts into Jack’s curls, and he leans down to press a soft kiss to Jack’s forehead.
Robby straightens, scrubbing at his wet eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He checks his watch- Jack shouldn’t wake for another forty five minutes give or take.
“I’ll be back,” he whispers. “Just give me a few minutes, okay?” His thumb brushes gently over Jack’s eyebrow before he steps away.
He opens the door. Parker is sitting in a plastic chair down the hall. She stands as soon as she sees him.
“Hey,” she says softly. “Robby… are you alright?”
He knows he must look wrecked, but he can’t think about that now. He needs air. Needs space. Just five minutes.
“I’m gonna grab a cup of tea,” he says, already walking. “Just need five minutes. Want one?”
She barely has time to answer before he’s halfway down the hall.
“Go be with him. I’ll be back before he wakes.”
“Okay, Robby…” he hears her say, concern thick in her voice, as he pushes through a set of double doors.
---
Robby was glad he’d persuaded Parker to go home. She was as beat as he was, but he promised he’d call her the minute anything changed. Robby also insisted she take at least one day off, so Parker had relented and gone home to rest.
They had already sat together for ninety minutes after Robby went to fetch them some tea. Jack was taking his time waking up. Nurse Jenny had overheard their conversation and reassured them it was completely normal for Jack to wake on his own time. So, once he had convinced Parker to leave, he knew he could take it from there.
---
They were alone when Jack finally stirred. He let out a couple of heavy huffs, his head rolling slightly from side to side.
"Jack?… Jack, it’s Robby. You’re alright. Can you open your eyes for me?"
Jack groaned, blinking heavily.
He struggled to speak, his eyes trying to focus. His hands fumbled at his re-breather, a little agitated.
"Hey, hey… Jack. Leave that for a minute. You’re in the hospital," Robby said, gently pushing Jack’s wrists back.
"No...don’t want it," Jack groaned.
Unable to help himself, Robby got up, grabbed a pair of gloves from the wall basket, and swapped Jack’s re-breather for a nasal oxygen cannula. He carefully threaded the clear tubes over Jack’s ears, avoiding the NG line, and gently placed the cannulas into his nostrils.
"Better?" Robby asked, watching Jack start to settle. "Just relax for me."
Jack blinked slowly, shaking his head slightly. He tried to lift one hand, motioning toward Robby.
"You good?" Jack gasped, eyes struggling to focus.
Robby moved closer, taking Jack’s hand and intertwining their fingers.
"Shh," he soothed gently. "It’s you we’re worried about. Do you know where you are? You’re in the hospital. There was an incident earlier…"
Jack blinked slowly. "You’ve been crying. Are you-" He took a deep, effortful breath. "...-hurt?"
Robby’s eyes softened, watering briefly with a twinge of guilt. "No. I’m alright. It’s you we need to worry about. Forget about me for a moment, focus on yourself."
"Don’t be sad," Jack mumbled before drifting off again.
---
Jenny returned and immediately took in the scene, Jack holding Robby’s hand, Robby still wearing blue gloves, and the discharged re-breather resting on the edge of the bed.
"He was uncomfortable," Robby said instinctively, realizing he had likely overstepped.
"That’s fine, Dr. Robby," she said, lifting the re-breather and holding out her hands for the gloves. "Just press the button next time, that’s my job."
Robby blushed and let go of Jack long enough to remove the gloves.
"He was barely awake for a minute," he added.
"He’ll be exhausted," she said kindly. "Did he say anything about pain?"
Robby shook his head. "No. He just asked why I was sad. I don’t think he remembers why he’s here yet."
"Call me next time," she advised, placing the gloves in the bin. "It might help if it comes from a stranger."
Robby nodded and returned to watching Jack’s chest rise and fall.
---
Robby started coming to as he felt fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp, he leaned into the sensation for a second, savouring the touch. He opened his eyes, slowly returning to awareness.
"Welcome back," Jack drawled.
Robby sat up, realizing he had fallen asleep with his head resting on the blankets over Jack’s thigh. He cricked his neck. "Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"
"What happened, Robby? Fuck—" Jack cringed in pain as he moved, and Robby immediately hit the call button.
"You’ve been stabbed, Jack. Do you remember anything?" Robby asked as Jenny came rushing in. Jack looked surprised.
"Hello, Dr. Abbott, I’m your nurse, Jenny. Tell me about your pain," she said, already grabbing a thermometer and clicking it into Jack’s ear.
"Sharp. Eight out of ten… what is that… bowel?" he asked pulling the bedding, glancing at Robby, then the thick dressings over his abdomen.
Jenny started prepping the BP monitor. "That’s some pain relief, Dr. Abbott. Press the button here, sweetie, and you’ll get more as needed." She placed the button by his left hand.
"What is that?" Jack asked again, squirming and trying to move. Robby held him gently but firmly with a hand. "Mesentery tear?"
"Bingo, Dr. Abbott," Robby said lightly, keeping a steady hand on Jack’s chest. "Just lay back and relax. Listen to Jenny. We’ll go through your injury in a moment."
Jack went slack, but Robby didn’t lift his hand.
"Thanks, Dr. Robby," Jenny said. "Okay, Jack, your BP is improving, and we’ve addressed your pain. How else are you feeling?"
Jack closed his eyes, already looking wiped. "Nauseous. Thirsty. My throat is dry."
"Zofran," Robby said, glancing at Jenny. "Your call of course." He added sheepishly.
"Agreed," she said, grabbing what she needed. "No water, I’m afraid. You’re on a bag, and your throat will be dry from the intubation. I’m sorry it’s uncomfortable." She pushed the anti-nausea medication through the cannula.
"NG?" Jack asked. "What’s the damage, Robby?"
Jenny busied herself with Jack’s chart as Robby took his hand again.
"It’s a long story, Jack, and you look exhausted. So, bullet points for now: you lost a small section of bowel, an anastomosis was done, and the NG is just for monitoring. Try not to worry, you need to rest. Lay back, close your eyes, and then we’ll talk properly later."
Jack didn’t need any more persuasion, clearly beat already. He sank into his pillow, eyes closing. He squeezed Robby’s hand. Robby savored the touch.
"You’ll stay with me, right?" He mumbled groggily.
"I’m not going anywhere," Robby promised as Jack drifted back to sleep.
---
Robby called Parker, assuring her in hushed tones that Jack had been briefly awake twice but needed more rest. Garcia popped her head in to check Jack's charts before heading home;
He was having a brief but kind visit from Langdon, who'd wanted to check in before heading home for the night, but just to ruin Robby's mood was a visit from Gloria.
"Not here." Robby said immediately as Gloria, the chief medical officer, had let herself into Jack's room.
"You're making me break a promise." Robby said in frustration. "I said I'd not leave him, but I don't want this conversation in front of Jack."
He looked at Langdon. "Frank, I know you have got your family waiting at home but could you...?"
Langdon nooded, "of course, I'll sit here in case he wakes up again."
"I'll be back soon. This won't take long."
Gloria all but rolled her eyes and she retreated into the hall, Robby hot on her heels.
"What happened today, Robby, is a travesty..." Gloria began.
"Same fuckin' story." Robby hisses. "How many times have we had this conversation? Our staff need better protection and more security measurements."
"Robby, you know there isn't any money in the budget -"
"- you know what? Right now I do not care, I do not give a shit. All I care about is making sure that Jack pulls through." Robby says, louder than he intended.
Gloria straightens, "that's actually why I was here." She says. "I was coming to offer you some time off, in relation to today's events."
Robby scowls. "Today's events? You mean when one of your leading senior Attendings almost lost his life while on shift in your hospital?" He takes a deep breath, knowing his frustration wasn't going to solve anything tonight. Gloria wasn't about to offer him a solution to a huge problem. "But, Yes. I need to be here for Abbot, although I don't have time or energy to rearrange schedules right now Gloria..."
"I'll take care of that." She says. "Just take what time you need. How is he?"
Robby shrugs and tries to find the words through his frustrations. "He's very unwell, Gloria, he lost some of his bowel. Maybe pray sepsis stays away while you're fixing the weekly rotas."
"Has his family been informed? I can arrange that too with Kira."
Robby shakes his head. "No. No I don't think so. He's got two sisters out of state. I don't think anyone's called them. I didn't even think about that."
"I'll look into it. Just concentrate on what's happening with Abbot. I'll take care of the rest." She checks her phone and then looks back at him. "Do not think for one minute that I am okay with what happened here today, Robinavitch. I will be escalating."
Robby just wants to get back inside to Jack. "Ok. Thanks, Gloria."
She backs away. "I'll be in touch."
Robby digs his palms into his eyes and then heads back into Jack's room. He's still asleep, thankfully.
"Thank you, Frank. Get home to your family."
Langdon swings his backpack on. "If you need anything Robby...and don't worry about downstairs, we'll all pitch in to keep things running as smoothly as they ever can."
He claps Robby on the shoulder and leaves.
Robby's hungry and he's tired and he really needs to pee, but most of all he wants Jack to wake up again. Even just for a little while, just to check in. Just to hear his voice again.
When Jenny next checks in she orders him to take a break, get a sandwich, charge his phone. She promises she won't leave the room while he's gone, so Robby gives in and heads to the closest family room.
It was going to be a long night.
---
Jack's heart monitor picks up a little, a give away. He was waking up again.
Robby looks up at him, stopping his current game of tracing the lines on Jack's palm with his finger tips.
"You stayed." Jack says sleepily.
"I did." Robby smiles. "Are you surprised?"
Jack shakes his head and then tries to sit up a little. He immediately hisses, intense pain making the little colour he'd regained drain from his face. Robby stands up, leans over and firmly jabs the pain relief button.
"Breathe for me, relax those muscles." He encourages. "You'll feel better in a moment."
"I don't like it when you look worried." Jack says, as he lays back into the white pillow.
"That's just my face." Robby shrugs, trying to play it off.
"I know you better than you know yourself. What's up? Am I dying tonight, Robinavitch?" Jack smirks a little.
"Hey." Robby snarks. "Not fuckin' funny, Abbot. We don't joke about that shit while in PACU."
"Okay, okay." Jack yawns. "Fair. So, what's up with your face then?"
Robby is suddenly feeling frustrated. "It's my face? What are you talking about? I'm just tired, stressed."
"You should go home, get some shut eye." Jack offers sincerely.
Robby practically growls. "As if. Jesus." He fidgets in his seat. "I'm not going anywhere. I told you."
"Robby you seem stressed." Jack replies. "I'm clearly not lucid for long periods, I'll be fine. Probably just fall asleep again, Go home for a few hours, unwind. There's no point of you sitting in an uncomfortable chair all night long."
"...I'm stressed Jack, because I watched you get stabbed today. Okay? Is that a good enough reason for you?" He says louder than intended. "I thought I was going to loose you, I can't stop... picturing it, remembering it."
"Okay, I'm sorry." Jack says, gently. "That... That really sucks, man. If it had been the other way around, yeah...I'd be a mess."
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take it out on you. It's not your fault at all." Robby says, squeezing jacks hand.
"I don't really remember much." Jack says. "I just remember...Parker, and then I remember you were with me on the ground I think?" He looks a little dazed, and Robby wants to hold him, instead he settles for gripping at his hand.
"Parker's okay?" Jack asks.
"Yes, she's shaken, but physically she's fine. She was here when you were unconscious."
Jack nods, he looks deep in thought.
"Why'd he do it? The patient."
Robby sighs. "We don't know. Drug seeking I guess."
"Makes sense." Jack agrees.
"None of this makes sense. We shouldn't be here." Robby adds bitterly. "Fuck, Jack...I've never felt fear like that before, y'know?" He confesses, needing to get this off his chest. "The possibility of loosing you? It was like slow motion suffocation." Robby swallows hard, eyes burning. "I can't loose you. You get that, right? What I'm saying?"
Jack's eyes are glazed too. "I don't want you to loose me either."
He deliberately shifts Robby's hands, so he can thread their fingers, their eyes meet hopefully and Robby can practically feel electricity humming through their joined hands.
"That's not going to happen, not on my watch. I'm here if you want me." Robby says feeling brave.
"What kind of question is that?" Jack replies. "Of course I want you. Did it really come to this before we've had this conversation?"
He's stifling a yawn and it breaks the tension.
And with that being said Robby feels safe for the first time since he saw the knife go in; not because they're in hospital where Jack's surrounded by doctors and nurses, but because they're finally, seemingly on the same page.
---
"What time is it?" Jack asks, a while later. They've drifted into a comfortable silence since Jenny's night college, Marcus, last came in to check obs.
"Almost midnight." Robby replies, he's using his free hand to trace the veins on the inside of Jack's arm.
"That feels good." Jack sighs, Robby smiles and continues mapping out the inside of Jack's wrist.
"Noted." Robby says, not stopping his trail. "You sound like you're fighting sleep. You need to rest. Sleep off that anesthesia. I'll be right here."
Jack hums sleepily and soon after he's drifted off again.
---
"Welcome back, Dr Abbot." Robby says around 2am.
"Hey." Jack replies groggily. "Can you help me sit up?"
Robby hesitates. "Is that a good idea?"
"I'm so uncomfortable, man. Help me out, please?"
Robby gives it. He's already pressing the button for more opioids, then he rounds the side of the bed, lowers the left hand bar and helps Jack side up a little, raising the head of the bed into a slight incline.
Jack groans in pain. "I'm fine." He adds, clearly trying to downplay it.
"Right." Robby deadpans. "Just a touch of major surgery."
Jack shrugs. "Eh. You should see the other guy."
Robby stills. "Hey." He frowns. "I thought we agreed not to joke about stab wounds?"
"I'm delerius, or I forgot." Jack says cutely, he's actually laughing a little.
"Don't laugh." Robby scolds, half-heartedly. "I still can't work out if that was funny or I'm going to cry."
Jack sobers up a little at that. "Is it bad that it kinda feels nice to know that someone cares about me that much?"
Robby thinks. "I guess that's allowed...
So what you're saying in my clear distress and tears bring you happiness. Okay, I see how it is."
"Shut up, man." Jack smiles. "You know what I mean."
"I do." Robby sits down gently on Jack's left side now the bed rail is lowered.
"Thank you again for staying." Jack says, taking Robby's hand in his and bringing it to his lips for a kiss, it's soft and fleeting but it's making Robby's insides turn to a gooey mush.
"Oh well, I really only stayed to make sure you didn't try to charm the night shift. I know how you guys operate."
"Is that so?" Jack smirks half anesthetic/half Jack. "Seems to me like Dr Robby is marking his territory."
Robby chortles. "Wow. Excuse you. That's the opioids talking. I'm simply here because I want to check the vitals of my very close friend and colleague, that's all...but if you want to interpret that another way..."
"Ouch, man! Haven't I been stabbed enough today? Right through the heart." Jack says dramatically, and Robby places his other hand on Jack's neck.
"Look, you mean a lot to me and I've said a lot of things I wanted to say and needed to say tonight...but I'm also not the one happed up on opioids. Let's make sure you don't forget or regret, first." He says, his hand betraying him, and sliding up Jack's neck to cup his jaw. "Get back to me when you're not stoned on pain killers."
"It'll be the same answer." Jack says confidentially. His eyes dipping from Robby's down to his lips and back again.
The view sets Robby's insides on fire.
"We'll see."
Jack blinks then nods. "You're genuinely scared?" He states softly, leaning his head into Robby's hand.
"Oh, I'm terrified when it comes to you, Jack." Robby says, thumb brushing through Jack's stubble. "Just look at today. You really scared me."
"I'm sorry." Jack says quietly.
"I know, and I know it wasn't your fault but I kind of really need you to be around forever."
"Now we've started talking, finally, I guess you should know that I have absolutely every intention to. I'm not going anywhere, you can't get rid of my that easy."
"I'm holding you to that." Robby says, matching Jack's gentle smile.
Jack's eyes keep dipping to Robby's lips in the moment and Robby's trying his best to resist.
"Jack." He warns, when Abbot starts nuzzling into his hand. Pressing a firm kiss to his palm.
"Robby...just...." He moves in, determinedly closing the remaining space between them and he presses his mouth against Robby's.
Robby's world immediately falls into place. Why was it that simple?
They kiss gently and then Jack's nudging Robby's mouth open.
"Excuse you, Dr. Abbot..." Robby says against his lips. "You shouldn't start something you're not going to be awake long enough to continue."
"I can stay awake." Jack groans, trying to chase Robby's mouth, the slight surge forward knocks the breath from him and his hand falls to grip at his dressings.
"Easy." Robby says, he hops down off the edge of the bed, and the raises the bed bar again.
"Kill joy. 0/10 for patient satisfaction." Jack grumbles at the loss of Robby's body.
That makes Robby truly laugh.
"Can I ask you for something?" Jack asks a moment later, settling back against the bed.
"Depends." Robby grins, sitting back into the chair by the bed
"Can you please go home now? Get some rest. You've been awake for almost twenty hour hours."
Robby makes a job of pretending to think. "Uhm, no. That's a negative. I'm staying right here."
Jack smiles but tries again. "Please, I want you to get some rest take a shower, eat something substantial and then you can come back and kiss me again tomorrow."
"How about a compromise?" Robby offers. "how about you go back to sleep, I stay right here and then when you wake up and feel a little less high, you can decide if you still want to kiss me again? I'll be ready."
"Stubborn. See if I care if you you throw your old-man-back out on that shitty plastic chair." Jack says.
"Ah, but you do care, remember?" Robby smiles smugly. "You totally have a crush on me."
"Disappearing by the second." Jack says, closing his eyes.
Robby chuckles but doesn't respond. He's happy to sit on this hard ass chair, he's got some happy new feelings to think on.
"I will want you tomorrow, y'know." Jack mumbles a few moments, already on the verge of slumber.
"I'm holding you to it." Robby practically whispers. "Sweet dreams, Jack."