Chapter Text
Scar had lost track of time. As usual.
Bulldozing into Hue at full tilt had seemed like a good idea when he thought he’d make it back before curfew, but when he arrived in a cloud of dust to absolute silence, sprinting was a lot more awkward.
He got a couple short glances, but most people had their heads down and eyes closed in accordance with the Rumination; Scar wondered who was hosting tonight, and willed whoever it was to keep the silence unbroken despite his stomping. Scar jerked his head to the floor to avoid any more eyes, scuttling to find the closest open spot in the circle. Soon, the clearing was back to silence. Relief. Scar almost managed to relax before the host opened their eyes and spoke.
“Today I lived and loved.”
“Tomorrow, again.” Scar spoke with the rest of the crowd, their voices gentle, silken touch. It was a good ritual, one Scar had a great fondness for despite how often he came close to missing it. Guilt chewed at him from the inside out for interrupting, but that would fade with timel. At least as Hue shifted gears for the communal meal, no one mentioned it.
“Hey, Scar!”
Scar startled with a strangled yelp, but relaxed slightly to see Joe trotting his way. Nothing passive aggressive coming his way for the cycle’s end, at least for now.
“Hello there!” Scar had to push the words over his brief bubble of fright, Joe chuckling in turn.
“I just wanted to let you know I ran into Pearl today, she’s well. She’s here, actually, but I don’t think she wants to be. I was hoping you’d be able to walk her home, but it’s a little late..”
“Pearl— is here?”
“I met her at the river, the one I’m assuming is closest to her camp. She asked to see Hue, but I think the nosy hospitality got overwhelming.. my bad, probably. I’m hoping she’ll stay the night, or at least for the meal since things have calmed down, but I haven’t asked. I thought you should.”
“Me? Pearl doesn’t— I don’t think she wants anything to do with me, I overstepped, she..” Scar stopped, turning at a tap on his shoulder, only for him and Joe to startle in near complete sync.
Pearl stumbled back nearly three paces, frightened in turn. That felt bad. Her hair was short. It was one of the worst, choppiest cuts Scar had ever seen.
“I like your hair.”
He didn’t expect her to soften, but maybe his apparent anxiety helped to calm her nerves. “It’s not the worst I’ve done.”
Oh dear. “Do you need help? Touching it up? Evening it out, a bit.”
Conflict creased Pearl’s expression, brief but calamitous, like a typhoon of emotionally charged words had torn through her mind, and in the next instant she’d choked it all down to respond with a simple, “I’d like that.”
As Hue began their communal meal, Scar and Pearl left to a quiet corner, forgotten by the crowd. He sat, and she did as well, back facing him. Her poor hair.. He hoped she wouldn’t mind him taking it even shorter, but in this odd stasis, he was a little afraid to ask.
“I’m sorry,” she said, and that made him even more afraid. “I didn’t want to drive you away. I.. I did want to. I’m afraid of you. I’m afraid of all of you. I’m afraid all the time. I can’t seem to trust anything good that happens to me, but I’m starting to think that this place.. that you.. might just be good. Might just be better. And I don’t know what to do with that.”
Scar was at a loss, or maybe he was still just too afraid to fill the silence. Guess they had something in common, didn’t they. “All my life, I’d never considered Dapple to be so cruel. I have friends from Dapple, I’ll see them soon when we meet come end of the fourth week post-collapse. Have you ever attended the bazaar?”
“No.” Pearl stopped, the pause heavy. “Maybe when I was really little.”
“Can I cut your hair?”
“Do what you have to do.”
“Alright.” Scar took his shears, taking this as instruction to cut as little as possible. He would try his best. She did not flinch when he touched her shoulder, a test, but she did not relax either, and he supposed he didn’t expect her to. “I really didn’t mean to upset you. Or scare you. I just.. I wanted to do right by you. And at the end, I was selfish.”
“I don’t know if that’s true..” Pearl trailed off, and she was so still that Scar began to pull her hair through his fingers, looking to cut, until she laughed, sudden and almost manic, “I don’t– I don’t know! Literally! I don’t even remember what you said!” She started to relax, while Scar did not, still holding a strand of her hair with widened eyes. “It’s not your fault. I was looking for a reason. I would have found it anywhere. I’m not friend material, I’m afraid..”
“If you decide to go back to your hovel, I would still visit you. If you wanted me to.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
Scar blinked, withdrawing his shears once again. “Did something happen? A collapse, or a predator attack? Is that why you were in the river?”
With the slightest movement, Pearl shook her head. “I’m just a coward, I think. Afraid to go anywhere, afraid to stay, and right now I’m just.. tired. Too tired.”
“I wouldn’t say that’s cowardice with what you’ve been through after your exile.”
“Don’t tell them.” Pearl jolted up, swiveling to face him for the first time, eyes shining with distress, “Please don’t tell them, Scar, where I’m from, what they did– I can’t explain myself, Scar, they’ll go to Dapple and they’ll ask, and I can’t do this again, I can’t make it on my own.”
It was so real, so visceral, Scar hadn’t even considered the possibility, but now he never would. “I won’t.”
…
Pearl did not end up leaving Hue that evening. Or the next day. Or the day after. The Hue people regarded her with some caution, except Joe, who seemed to have instated himself as her new best friend. Scar tried not to be jealous. He tried. It just seemed so easy for Joe, to find her, bring her back, and give her a home in a matter of hours, and now, to walk beside her in camp, chatting about nothing loud enough for the whole camp to hear. Maybe Scar wanted that too. But he had work to do.
The third evening, Pearl joined them for the Rumination. She sat next to him. It was False’s turn to lead.
“Today I did my best.”
“Tomorrow, again.” Pearl didn’t say it with the rest of them, but Scar thought she might’ve wanted to.
The Hue people had been curious about Pearl the moment she entered their cave, but they were really getting curious now, about her past, her skills, occupation, anything at all. Scar kept his promise with quiet fierceness, but he was coming to realize he knew very little about her beyond the vague past. What did she like to do? What had her role in Dapple been?
Scar had expected her to be cagey, or maybe even hostile, but Pearl had only glanced at him in mild surprise when he’d asked. “It’s a bit different than the way you guys operate..” she was meek, glancing away, but not upset, “In Dapple, we all kind of do everything? Everyone takes turns cooking, farming, and foraging for part of the day, though you don’t have to do any particular jobs if you really don’t want to. It’s just a bit frowned upon. I didn’t go out in the tunnels if I could help it. I cooked sometimes, but near the end I wasn’t.. I don’t think I was trusted near food.” Pearl pursed her lips, the silence heavy. She shook her head, choosing a new path. “I farmed mostly, and made things. I knit, I carved statues, you know. I don’t think you guys really need farmers though..”
“That’s cool. Can I have a statue? Can I have a cricket? Or a glowpede?”
The rest of Hue did not think it was as cool. Well. Besides Joe. But Scar was learning that Joe was actually much more fun than the average person.
And it wasn’t that Hue was hostile to the idea of artistry, they just didn’t see the practical application– a somewhat reasonable concern when resources were limited and typically allocated carefully. But they had plenty of wood and stone and clay, Scar didn’t see the need for passive judgement when Pearl was just doing her own thing, creating a cricket out of a block of soft wood. Maybe it was Scar’s fault for getting excited and systematically showing the entire settlement one by one. Joe’s request for a Keeper earned a little grumbling about dulling knives for no reason.
It broke Scar’s heart that a couple rude comments under the breath would most likely stop her. But tomorrow was the Bazaar, and Scar wasn’t going to give anyone room to belittle her craft.
“I’m assuming you don’t want to go, but I thought I’d ask. It’s my favorite part about resets. There’s so much stuff. Do you like to haggle, Pearl?”
Pearl snorted. “I guess I wouldn’t know. I’ve never tried. The last time I went was when I was little, but yeah.. I’m not going to go. I can imagine about a hundred different ways that would go poorly.”
“I’d like to argue that’s not true, but I’m pretty sure you’re right,” Scar shrugged, surprised when Pearl chuckled.
“I’m guessing you do haggle.”
“Why of course!”
The Bazaar was one of the few times the three settlements came together in an organized fashion, most often in the three weeks following a collapse. It wasn’t uncommon for one settlement to bring their wares to another if they were looking for something specific, but the Bazaar was a community event, with games and treats and activities for kids. It was just a good time, and Scar missed it dearly when the ceiling was feeling particularly stable. Life in Hue was very steady, very predictable, very quiet, and the Bazaar gave Scar the bump in energy he often craved.
But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little nervous. He just. Wasn’t sure what to do about his friends in Dapple. He still wanted to see them, but he.. Felt differently. He didn’t like that.
Most of his worries were swept away by the vigor of the festival, dancing and singing and carnival games for the kids, though the parents were getting competitive as well.
The clearing where the Bazaar took place was big enough to house a small settlement, maintained by its own set of Keepers. Scar used to be on the team of volunteers that checked up on the Keepers’ health and condition every few weeks, but they were mostly self-sufficient and entirely uninterested in the humans that showed up to bother them. It was a common joke among every settlement that the Bazaar Keepers were the grumpy sort, holing away when the merchants arrived and grumbling their discontent. They were treated extra nicely.
Scar didn’t even set down his bag before joining in on the games. Those kids were going to learn what it felt like to lose. (Said kids were actually quite good, much better than expected, and for the nth collapse in a row, Scar was dearly humbled. Given that the community was relatively small, all the kids knew his name and Scar knew all of theirs, so they proceeded to chase and torment him at random times for the entire day. It was awesome.)
As Scar transitioned to visiting merchants, his nerves waned as he greeted his friends from Mark. Cub generously offered to sell him a doohickey (Cub’s words) for more than the asking price, which Scar politely informed Cub he’d consider. Jimmy gave him a most excellent hug, Tango showed him a very cool game that Scar couldn’t afford, and Gem laughed at him for his humiliating losses (word spreads fast!). Unfortunately, Scar couldn’t get much from the Mark merchants as they were famously expensive– some of the highest quality tools one could trade for, but whew. Dapple had more appreciation for his pretty rocks, and Hue could always do with more clothes anyway. There were more valuable goods from Hue allocated specifically for Mark’s smiths.
And then Scar spotted Skizz through the throng, and his heart ached. Skizz was quite possibly the most outgoing regular attendee at the Bazaar, always looking to help out vendors in all three settlements, giving piggy back rides and playing the evil spider to be tackled to the ground and defeated by the kids. Skizz was a genuinely good guy, Scar believed that, but he just didn’t understand how a good guy could ostracize someone like Pearl.
“Scar!” Skizz spotted him just as Scar lost his nerve to seek him out, pushing through the crowd to reach him, “How you doing homie buddeh? Feels like forever since I’ve seen you, thank goodness I am right? But gosh, I missed you!”
In the blink of an eye, Scar slipped back into his facade. “Thank goodness? I wish the walls would cave monthly, I can’t stand being away for so long.”
Skizz embraced him with a firm pat on the back, “Come on now, let’s just do this thing monthly and not will any more stress on our backs, huh? I’ll organize it! I will!”
“You say that every time we talk it feels like.”
“I’m working on it, okay?”
“Yeah?” Scar snickered, giving Skizz’s arm a hearty nudge, “What’d you bring today, Skizz? Anything good?”
“Nuthin! But I sell everything, you know that. What’re you looking for today Scar-Face?”
“The whole walkthrough! Give me the complete Skizzly Experience, please and thank you!”
“Only for my favorite customers!”
Scar did want the Skizz special, but he was having some trouble enjoying it as Skizz guided him through the stalls, talking up the vendors and pointing out wares he knew Scar would like. It just. Felt worse. Scar didn’t trust the vendors he didn’t know well, and he didn’t know how to face the ones that he did. His heart wasn’t in it.
“I’m looking for a knife, actually.” Scar touched Skizz’s shoulder, breaking him from his salesman trance. “I heard there were different kinds for uh.. Crafting? I’d like to get something for carving.. Wood? I think? I’m guessing the material matters. I don’t really have much perspective on how expensive something like that would be, and I know you wouldn’t upcharge me.”
Skizz stared at him for a long moment, searching. Maybe Scar was reading too much into it. “Looking for a new hobby? It would help if I knew what you were making.”
“No, not really.” Scar couldn’t salvage his tone, voice coming through flat and dead. He didn’t want to pretend. “Can we talk?”
“She’s in Hue?” Skizz lowered his voice, but Scar did not want to do this where anyone could hear. “Is she safe?”
“I don’t want to talk about this here.”
“That’s a good point..”
The two of them weaved through the crowd in relative silence, Scar’s heart beating out of his chest. What had he done? What if Skizz told the rest of Dapple, and what if they came to Hue and demanded Pearl be re-exiled? Surely– There was no precedent for that kind of thing, that wouldn’t happen, but Pearl wouldn’t want Dapple to know, and Scar didn’t want to go against her wishes, especially on this subject. They ended up in a tunnel branching off toward Mark. By the time they got there, Scar was buzzing.
“I don’t know how much I want to tell you, if anything at all.”
“I understand,” Skizz still spoke in hushed tones, and Scar was grateful he at least seemed to care about preserving the privacy of this conversation. “She’s not still in the tunnels, is she?”
“What, are you scared of her?”
“No!” Skizz recoiled, hurt, but Scar couldn’t bring himself to feel sorry, “She hated them, the tunnels. I thought she’d die when the walls started to shake, it was such awful luck. Anyone would have been terrified.”
“And no one looked for her?”
“Some of us wanted to. Ren Sr. wouldn’t allow it.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“On that we agree.”
“So you left her to die?”
“That’s not– That’s not fair, Scar. I care about Pearl as much as anyone, but I also don’t want to suffocate under five hundred tons of dirt. Not to mention the trouble I’d be in. And she– Scar, I don’t know what she told you–”
“She said she didn’t do it.”
The silence was deafening, Skizz’s mouth hanging slightly, then shutting altogether. His brow knit, stress accentuating every line in his face, but more than anything he.. he just looked sad.
“Scar, I need you to understand that Pearl was not treated well. She’s not much older than a teen, neither are you. Compared to me, you’re kids. And I in no way say that to belittle you, I just need you to know that Pearl didn’t.. for a long time, she hasn’t been given the benefit of the doubt, and it’s been especially bad in recent months. Dapple hasn’t been having the easiest time lately. Some of that is internal, and some of it is out of our control. It.. Pearl’s treatment would wear on anyone, especially this level of rejection from peers and even– even adults. But she’s just a kid.” Skizz closed his eyes. “I wish I did more.”
“What happened. Tell me.”
“We have this mural, it’s a big blanket, but don’t call it that to anyone in Dapple. It’s a historical piece, everyone contributes to it when they come of age, a little slice of silk. Generational, do you understand?”
Scar became suddenly aware of a growing pit in his stomach. “Yes.”
“We have a lot of art in Dapple. Lots of fire hazards, it would be disastrous if a fire got out of control back home, so we are very careful. Especially with this piece. It is the most important artwork we have.”
“Pearl said she didn’t do it.”
“Ren Jr. saw her with the torch. It wasn’t— No one knows what was going through her head, but she was the first to work with Ren to put it out. Most of the mural was salvaged, that’s how fast they worked. No one even knew it was Pearl who had done it at first, besides Ren, but that’s what I mean, that’s how frantic she was. It was so real, even Ren was shaken. It’s gotta be jarring, watching a peer set fire to your most precious artifact, then working with her like your lives were on the line to put it out. He won’t talk about it still. He was so angry in the aftermath, cruel even during the exile, but I think the beginning of the quakes really shook him. He wanted to look for her. He begged his father publicly during the deliberation, but Ren Sr. wouldn’t budge. It was one of the more haunting things I’ve witnessed in my lifetime. I want to tell him she’s alive, but I.. I don’t think I should. The news will reach us naturally when our wounds are less raw, or it never will. Either way.. that’s better.”
“Don’t tell them,” Scar’s voice left him in a whisper, that sentiment all he was able to express as he processed the rest. Skizz was not a liar, as much as Scar wanted him to be. This was too real. “I shouldn’t have told you. Pearl would— she’s already so scared. I..” The gravity of the moment was catching up to him, his breath quickening. “Have I made a huge mistake? Is she— she won’t hurt anyone in Hue, will she?”
Skizz’s hand fell hard on Scar’s back, jolting him out of his spiral. There was a long silence Scar kept expecting him to fill, but Skizz hadn’t seemed to think further than breaking Scar from his panic.
“Pearl was dealt a bad hand. She didn’t cope well. She made poor choices. I won’t tell you not to worry, Scar, I can’t tell you that, but I just.. Maybe it’s the dad in me, but selfishly, I just want her to have a home. I hope you’ll give her one.”
“Hue doesn’t value art. She made me this cricket, this sculpture, and they— so many people think it’s a waste—“ Scar produced the wooden cricket from his pocket, cradling it stiffly. A gift. Her gift. It meant a great deal, but now just when he thought he’d felt steadier with Pearl, it was like she was slipping through his fingers all over again. “I thought I’d try to trade it. For a tool. So she can’t be accused of waste, because she’d bought it with something she’d made, but what if it’s not enough? What if Hue doesn’t accept her?”
“I don’t know Hue. I can’t answer your questions.” Gently, Skizz placed his hands over Scar’s. “But don’t give up on her too quickly. She’s crafty, in more ways than one. Hue is very different from Dapple, but give her a little time, and she’ll find a niche. If she can’t find one, she’ll carve one out. Dapple residents are jacks of all trades, and if I was in her shoes, I’d be raring to prove my worth. I don’t know how long Pearl has been with you, but it would surprise me if she hasn’t found little ways to feel useful as she adjusts. You spend most of your cycles in the tunnels, don’t you? You don’t see everything.”
Scar pursed his lips. Maybe.. that could be true. While Pearl was settling in, Scar came back from his excursions much earlier, but he wasn’t around all the time, and most days he came back to Joe talking Pearl’s ear off as he did his chores. She was getting bolder. A little more comfortable, even if the comments about the cricket had plainly hurt her.
“Can I get anything for this?” Scar’s fingers quivered under Skizz’s calloused hands, and he felt a lot like the child Skizz considered him.
“It’s a bit rude to sell a gift, is it not?” Skizz teased him gently, but Scar still shrunk away as Skizz withdrew his hands. “No. Consider this an apology. The best I can do.”
…
“It’s a little simple, but it’ll be fun, I hope.”
Scar heard Pearl’s voice over the buzz of quiet Hue chatter as he returned home from his excursion; a little alarming given that despite settling in well over the past month, she was quite the hermit. Scar rarely saw her talking with anyone other than Joe, False, Impulse, and Etho— well, maybe that was a decent list, but right now there was a whole crowd around her, enough people that she had to speak loudly to be heard.
“It’s a guessing game. One person comes up with a bug— you make one up using six of these painted tiles, it can be any combination so long as it’s got a head at the start. And then the other person has six tries to get it right by arranging their own tiles. The first player tells you after every guess if you’re using the correct pieces and if they’re in the right place and— oh, this sounds more complicated than it is, maybe I should just wait until after supper to explain it all.”
“Ain’t no way I’m waiting to use this secret project you’ve been tinkering away at all this time, teach me while we play!” Joe pushed through to grab the game board, the tiles rattling over the top. The other spectators chimed their agreement, Pearl flushed in turn.
“Wait! Wait a minute!!” Scar yelped, dropping everything he’d been carrying, “That’s not fair, I was first in line! I was first!”
Joe snorted, amused, but with his hands raised defensively just in case the Scar barreling toward him at breakneck speed failed to slow down. “How could you be in line if none of us knew what she was making?”
Scar skidded to a stop, teeth clicking with the force he shut his mouth, and Pearl, who had been about to speak, shut hers with the same intensity. Joe looked between them with growing bafflement.
“Are you meaning to say without words that you told Scar and not me?”
“I didn’t know what kind of game it was! Just that it was a game and she was carving the pieces and stuff! She didn’t let me see any of it!”
Pearl looked briefly defensive, then seemed to remember she was talking to Joe, goodnaturedly shrugging him off. “Scar just happened to be there in a moment of weakness where I was too excited to keep it to myself. You shoulda been more clingy.”
“I am around you 95% of the time! How is this even possible!?” Joe threw up his hands, the rest of the clearing laughing in turn.
“I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Etho mumbled with a hand over his heart, hardly loud enough to hear over the noise, which doubled in response. “Seriously though, you’re going to have to teach me how to do this stuff.”
It was so.. perfect.
“Well luckily,” Pearl said, plucking the board out of Joe’s reach, “This is a two player game. I don’t need to be actively playing to instruct the both of you knuckleheads.”
“Who, me?” Joe snickered, drowned out by Scar’s squeal of joy.
And that was it. A game to earn the adoration of her new home, an understanding of their community, and a willingness to be part of it. Scar was so proud of her. He was always so proud of her.
She made Scar want to be part of it too, his own community, and the friends he’d overlooked in pursuit of independence. He was so grateful to her. He needed to tell her more.
Pearl just had this spark, this ability to bring people together. To make things. To love.
With one executed idea, one game, one puzzle, came many, many more. From her own hands, and the hands of those she inspired.
After some time, Scar could not believe Hue had ever existed without her. He did not remember worrying how she’d fare.
“Today, I worked hard.” Pearl’s voice rang loud and true, brimming with confidence.
“Tomorrow, again,” her people sang.