Chapter Text
Abel said that all we needed to do was walk through caines office. Pomni offers me her hand, I can’t help but decline.
They all walk in unison, I drift behind. I want to hear what they’re saying but the ringing in my ears is far too loud for that. I can not see outside of myself anymore, not since they died.
We walk into a large room that is only occupied by a large screen covering the wall and two buttons on a console.
Text appears above us, to sum it up if we push the red button we stay in the circus, if we push blue we leave. Pomni slams her fist onto the blue button.
She came here for a reason, she wants to leave, she will not hesitate.
We teleport to a grassy field; green hills gently roll, the sky has a kind blue to it, pastel flowers paint the sensory. It’s beautiful but not real, this is just another part of the circus.
We were promised freedom and reality but I can see the pixels.
Bubble appears from the sky and flouts towards us, she gets bombarded with questions and opens her mouth“ Hello, this is a message from the outside. You are trapped at the moment but do not fear because we are working on saving you, however in this blink of time, I suggest you pray to whatever god you believe can save your disintegrating soul. “
Bubble closes her mouth and fades into the ground. Pomni and zooble try following bubble but it leads nowhere.
“ Well now what ?” gangle questions. Ragatha turns to a building in the distance that's peacefully placed on a hill. Answering the question with her movement, they all walk towards the building.
“ Jax ? You coming “ Pomni asks, I didn’t even know I wasn’t moving or even standing.
I rest amongst the soft colors, it’s rare to see something so quiet.
“ You guys go ahead “
No one said anything but I could hear the tension. The silent worries of what is soon to come.
The sound of their feet sorting through the grass slowly vanished, leaving me with the wind’s voice being the only one talking.
Eventually the unnatural music comes back, I let the colors take me.
I drift through the everchanging movement, the shapes of friends… I am also naked.
I feel my body become numb and open up, leaving whatever's left of me vulnerable. I allow myself to fail, I welcome the rotting.
However, I feel shade cover me. Out of curiosity and muscle memory, I open my eyes; kinger. “Hi jax”
“ hey “ when did my throat get so dry, when could my throat get dry ?
I look at my surroundings; I'm in the same place but everything has a layer of darkness over it. The stars are peaking through dark clouds, the wind is more present, the crickets are chirping. It’s night.
“ You’ve been outside for a while now” He sits down next to me.
I hum in agreement.
“ I think is gonna find us soon”
“ yeah I think so too, you should go back inside”
“ I think we should both go “
A groan of disagreement escapes my throat as I cover my face. He laughs. “ you remind me of my kid “
I look peak through the crevices of my fingers to look at him, quietly hoping for him to continue.
“ She was a good kid, but he was just..different, had trouble understanding and connecting to other kids “
“ How so “
“ he was gender queer, not understanding that part of them made her mean “
“ you don’t hate them for that ?”
Kinger looks at me sad, maybe he’s sad that I asked, maybe he’s sad because he does hate the kid.
“ I’m not a monster J “
J ? Why didn’t he just say my name… wait.
“ I’m not some queer ! “ I sit up, I hope the darkness covers my red face.
He raises his hands in defence “ I’m not saying you are ! I just see some patterns.. And if you wanna talk I’m always here, i’ll give you some space “
Kinger gets up and walks in the opposite direction of the building, I don’t think he has a destination.
I follow him. It’s not like I had anything better to do, I was abstracting ! Might as well talk to kinger a little before he goes insane again or I explode.
I ran over to him. I dent the grass harshly in an attempt to get to him quickly.
“ Okay, what do you mean patterns ?!” I yell to him, he walks slowly. He lets the grass bend around him instead of crushing it and leaving a trail of destruction behind, unlike me.
He waits for me to slow down, for us to walk side by side. He takes a deep breath and holds it ever so peacefully. He glows lightly quickly and just as it came, he let his breath go, and the light disappeared.
“ Well, you both tend to be rude to your peers and isolate”
“ That's just my personality kinger !”
“ But, that's not the way you were when froggy and kaffmo were here” oh he went there.
“ well you weren't insane when queenie was here ?! Maybe if you were there for her more you would have kept her and your mind ! She probably abstracted because you started losing your mind, she died not loving you !”
Kinger’s eyes widen, he turns away from me and walks to the building everyone is in. I don’t chase after him, I don’t apologise, I know what I did and what I said, he deserves it.
Suddenly, the peaceful surroundings get replaced with overwhelming, familiar colors.
We’re back in the circus, “ WELL MY ROKU NANA’S I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU ! I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD EVER WANT TO LEAVE ME ! BUT I FORGIVE YOU” he goes on to wonder why bubble made it so hard to find us out loud. All my attention is on the ground, trying to avoid the glares from the others.