Chapter Text
The village was quiet.
Senku handed Sai a small packet of notes, his fingers lingered for a second before he stepped back. “This is everything we know so far.” He said. “And if anything feels strange, don’t guess. Observe first.”
Sai gave a short nod.
Senku’s gaze was on Ryusui for a moment longer than usual. “And keep him close.” He added. “No wandering off.”
“I’ll behave!” Ryusui said quickly.
Gen tilted his head with a cheeky grin. “Good luck out there.” He said. “And try not to walk straight into any traps, curses, or mysterious glowing circles this time.”
Tsukasa snorted softly.
Gen leaned closer toward Sai and stage-whispered, “And make sure Captain Tiny over there doesn’t fall into a pond or get adopted by woodland creatures.”
Ryusui gasped. “I’d make an excellent leader of woodland creatures!”
“...Exactly my point.” Gen muttered.
Sai shook his head, adjusting his bag with a quiet exhale.
Senku crossed his arms. “Okay. You’ve got the map. You’ve got the plan. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Sai raised a brow. “That’s... not reassuring.”
Gen laughed under his breath. “See? He gets it.”
Senku tried to ignore Gen’s comment. “You know how to reach us. If anything happens...”
“We’ll figure it out.” Sai finished for him.
Senku sighed. “Yeah. You better.”
Sai waved one last time, then started walking. Tsukasa took a look back at the two, then turned and followed Sai and Ryusui into the trees.
Senku and Gen stood in silence for a few minutes after the others were gone.
Senku shoved his hands into his pockets. “I really want this to work. Ryusui’s... different like this. But he needs to be himself again.”
Gen raised a brow. “Different, huh? You mean adorable.”
Senku gave a short laugh. “Yeah, You won’t catch me saying that.”
Gen leaned in with a grin on his lips. “Sure. You’re totally not warming up to him at all. Nope~ Cold, logical Senku as always.”
Senku sighed. “Remind me again why I keep you around?”
Gen’s grin just widened. “Because you’d be lost without me.”
Senku didn’t deny it.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
It was still early, the air was fresh and foggy.
Ryusui walked ahead with a stick in his hand. He used it as a sword.
“Ha! Full speed ahead!” He shouted. “And watch for sea beasts!”
The wind moved through the forest.
Sai checked the compass in his hand. The needle pointed straight. He unfolded the map and looked down at the lines.
Tsukasa walked next to him in silence.
Ryusui ducked under a branch before he turned with a grin. He yelled something about a finding a treasure.
Sai looked at him.
“He’s not scared anymore.” He said in a hushed voice.
Tsukasa nodded.
“I thought he’d panic.” Sai added. “Now he’s just... playing.”
“That’s how he is.” Tsukasa said with a smile. “He turns every story into his own adventure.”
Sai looked down. “You know him well.”
He paused for a moment before he added “Better than I do.”
Tsukasa looked over. “Don’t say that.”
“But it’s true.” Sai said. “You’ve only known him for a few years but... I don’t know. You just noticed things I never did.”
Tsukasa didn’t answer.
Sai kept walking. He spoke in a soft voice. “I never wanted to let it happen. But I did. And now I can’t get that time back.”
The words hang in the air.
“He kept reaching out, you know?” He said. “Letters. Messages... I saw them. I just couldn’t...”
He hesitated. Then he slowly shook his head. “I didn’t know how to hold on to him.”
Tsukasa listened.
Sai’s voice dropped even lower. “And now he doesn’t even remember any of that. Not the time we lost. Not the way I failed him. He just... loves me. Like nothing happened.”
Tsukasa looked at Ryusui, who was now balancing on a fallen log, his arms out like wings.
“He remembers you when it was easy to love you. Before the distance.”
“Exactly.”
“So don’t waste it.”
Sai looked at him. Tsukasa kept walking. “He needs you now. That’s not nothing.”
They kept walking in silence. Ryusui hopped down from the log, looked up and waved his stick. “A storm is coming, captain!” He yelled.
Tsukasa smiled to himself. Sai watched him for a few more steps. Then he asked, “Do you miss him?”
Tsukasa needed a moment to answer.
“Yeah.” He finally said. “I do.”
His voice stayed calm. But slower now.
“I miss the way he could lit up a room the moment he stepped inside. Or how he talked like the whole world belongs to him. And I miss the version of him who looked me in the eye and smiled without holding back.”
Sai looked at him.
Tsukasa stared ahead. “I just miss my partner.”
Sai stared at the ground. The next question made him hesitate. He didn’t want to ask it. The words came out anyway.
“What if he won’t change back?” He finally asked. The words were quiet and careful. “What if... this is permanent?”
“Then I’ll wait.” Tsukasa said quietly.
Sai blinked. “...Wait?”
“For him to grow up again. However long it takes.”
“Fifteen years. Maybe more.”
Tsukasa nodded once. “I know.”
Sai kept walking, his voice softer. “You’d really do that?”
Tsukasa finally looked at him. “Yeah. I would.”
“And if he grows up different this time?”
Tsukasa gave a small breath through his nose. “So what? He’s still Ryusui.”
Sai’s voice was almost a whisper now. “Even if he never becomes who he was again?”
Tsukasa looked at the boy walking ahead of them. “Then I’ll get to know the new him. And start over.”
Ryusui turned and waved both arms.
“You are too slooow!”
Sai didn’t respond. He just watched.
Tsukasa looked at him. “You okay?”
“I don’t know.” Sai said.
They kept walking. Step by step. Deeper into the trees.
And Ryusui led the way.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
There was a small fire burning in the middle of their nightcamp.
They sat between some tall trees. Everything beyond the firelight was dark. There was no moon tonight. Just shadows and some shapes. It became colder in the night. From time to time, something rustled in the leaves.
Tsukasa sat near the fire. One leg was up, his arms resting on it. He watched into the trees, though he wasn’t really looking.
Sai sat across from him. He had his legs folded, his back hunched slightly forward. He stretched his dark, cold hands toward the fire..
Ryusui lay curled up in a blanket just a few meters away. His eyes were closed. One small hand peeked out. His breathing was even and quiet.
Sai let out a long breath through his nose. He didn’t look up.
“I really hope this works.” He said.
Tsukasa said nothing.
Sai shifted a little. His shoulders were tense and his voice came out flat.
“I want him back. The real him.”
Still no answer.
“I mean...” Sai added “He’s still him. I know that. I know that...”
He touched his neck and stared at the fire. It burned low, casting his face into some shadows.
“It’s just...” He hespitated for a moment. “I’m not one of those persons who can handle this for long. Little kids. He’s loud and always running. He needs attention every five seconds.”
He shook his head. Then he gave a quick, dry laugh.
“I thought the adult version was exhausting. But this is worse.”
Tsukasa looked over, finally. “Sai...”
Sai shrugged weakly. “What? It’s the truth. I’m exhausted. My brain’s on autopilot and most of the time I’m just rambling.”
He shut his eyes for a moment. Then he sighed and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the small compass. Held it carefully in his hand. Like a treasure. Without thinking his thumb moved over the surface.
The fire cracked and a spark hit the ground.
Behind them Ryusui opened his eyes. Just very slow and very quiet.
He didn’t move yet. Just watched them through the light of the campfire.
Sai rubbed his temple. “The way he looks at me. It’s like I’m his whole world I don’t know how to keep up with that.”
Tsukasa didn’t answer, just let him speak.
Sai let out another breath. “I’m trying. I swear I am. But he needs someone better at this than me, who knows what to do. Not someone who freezes every time he cries.”
None of them spoke for a while.
The fire snapped again. The cold wind moved through the trees and branches above them.
Then, slowly, Ryusui moved. He sat up quietly, careful not to make some noise.
He looked at them. Just for half a second.
Then he stood up and disappeared between the trees into the forest. His footsteps were silent.
He didn’t look back.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The fire was already low but still steady. Sai had been staring into it for a long time. His eyes were half-lidded and the heat on his face felt wasn’t as strong anymore. His whole body hurt from the long walk to the forest. His shoulders were tight. His legs still sore.
Tsukasa sat close by. The night was cloudy. No moon or stars. Sai blinked eventually. Slowly. He glanced at the blanket near the fire.
“Wait...” His voice cut off.
The place was empty.
His whole body stopped moving. He felt like being dumped in cold water.
Sai stopped breathing for a moment.
“Where is he?” He sat up fast.
Tsukasa turned. His gaze moved across the whole clearing.
“Ryu?”
Nothing. No answer. No sound.
“Ryu?!”
Silence.
“He was right there!” Sai stood up, his eyes were wide, they scanned the camp. “Where is he? Where the hell is he??”
He spun in a full circle. Called out again. “Ryu? RYU!!”
His voice cracked. He turned, his heart was racing. “No. No, no, no-”
Tsukasa quickly grabbed a dry, long stick and lit it as a torch. The fire flared up.
“Calm down. He can’t be far.”
“He’s a little child!” Sai gasped. “He’s small and it’s pitch black out here and... oh god! Shit! I bet he wasn’t asleep. I said the worst things! And he heard me and run away! I know he did!”
“Sai...”
“I fucked it up!” His hands shook. He clutched his head, breathing fast. “I always fuck it up! See! I... I can’t...”
“Hey.” Tsukasa said firmly. “Look at me.”
Sai didn’t.
He backed up a step, then paced forward again. “What if something happened to him?! What if he fell?! There are wild animals out here, what if-” His voice broke. He couldn’t finish the sentence. “What if he’s out there thinking I don’t want him?!”
“Sai. Please breathe.” Tsukasa said. He moved in front of him. “Now.”
Sai gasped. “I can’t. I don’t...”
“Breathe in.” Tsukasa said. “Come on. In.”
Sai tried. It was shaky, but he tried to fight the panic.
“And out.”
He leaned over. Grabbed his knees. Then he somehow let out a loud breath.
“Good. Again.”
Sai shut eyes shut and tried to focus. Slowly. In. And out.
Tsukasa handed him a second torch. “We’ll find him.”
Sai looked at it like he hadn’t even noticed it was there. Then he nodded.
Tsukasa gave his shoulder a small shake. “Let’s split up. Ten minutes in each direction. Then we come back.”
Sai blinked hard. “Okay.”
“Call out if you find him.”
Sai nodded, already moving.
He disappeared into the trees without another word.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Tsukasa was holding the burning stick in front of him as he walked through the trees. He wasn’t following a path, he just searched in the woods. If Ryusui really run off, he would have just do it straight ahead.
The light wasn’t very bright. It held back the dark, but just barely. Everything else looked like shadows. The air was cold.
He called out Ryusui’s name once. Nothing answered.
He paused.
Then he saw something. A dark silhouette behind a tree trunk.
He lowered the torch as he got closer. He had found him.
Ryusui sat on the dirty ground like a ball. He had pulled his knees up, the blanked was wrapped around him like a shell. Most of his face was hidden. He didn’t move.
Tsukasa knelt down nearby.
“You picked a pretty good hiding spot.” He said gently. “I almost missed you.”
Ryusui startled, but he didn’t look up.
“I wasn’t trying to hide.” He murmured after a moment. His voice was tiny.
“I just wanted to be away from him.”
Tsukasa listened.
Ryusui sniffed. He rubbed his face with the blanket.
“I heard him.” He whispered. “He doesn’t want me around. He wants the other me. The big one.”
“He didn’t mean it.” Tsukasa explained. “Your brother’s just scared.”
Ryusui was shaking his head. “No. He’s tired of me. He said so.”
“He’s not. He’s tired because he’s been trying to doing his best for you.” Tsukasa said softly. “He hasn’t slept right since you changed. He thinks everything that went wrong was his fault.”
Tsukasa moved a little closer. He kept the torch low so it wouldn’t be too bright.
Ryusui shook his head, his eyes still down.
“He said I was too loud. And too much.”
“You know... when people are scared or exhausted, they don’t always know how to use the right words. Sometimes it’s just hard for them to express their real feelings. Sai never mean to hurt you. Even if he did anyway.”
Ryusui didn’t say anything. His grip around his arms tightened.
“He’s tired.” Tsukasa said. “And not just from walking all day. Sai has been carrying a lot. Like guilt. Or regret. He thinks he already broke something once and he doesn’t know how to fix it now.”
Ryusui stayed quiet.
“You’re not too much.” Tsukasa said.
Ryusui looked up slowly. His eyes were red.
“What if he likes the... the old me more?”
Tsukasa’s voice was calm and soft. “There’s no old you. You’re the same. All of it. You’re not a replacement or a copy. You’re just... you. Ryusui Nanami.”
He sat down next to Ryusui on the cold ground.
“And Sai.” He said. “He loves you. Even when he’s bad at showing it.”
Ryusui didn’t answer. Eventually he moved closer. He moved closer until he was curled against Tsukasa’s chest.
Tsukasa placed the blanket over them. He kept an arm around Ryusui’s shoulders and gently moved through his hair.
They sat there like that for a long moment.
Then Ryusui whispered, “I’m glad you found me. Thank you.”
Tsukasa smiled again. “I will always find you. Wherever you go. Every time.”
Ryusui’s head rested against Tsukasa’s chest now. He didn’t answer.
Tsukasa still held the torch. It hung low beside them. He waited. Adjusted the blanket over Ryusui’s back. Eventually he asked “Do you feel better now?”
Ryusui gave a tiny nod. His eyes were already closing.
“We should go back.” Tsukasa said. “Sai’s probably still losing his mind.”
Ryusui didn’t say a word. His face tucked against Tsukasa’s shoulder. He felt warm and calm now.
“Getting tired, hm? Would you mind if I carry you?”
There was a small pause. Then Ryusui nodded again. “Okay.”
Tsukasa steadied his hold and lifted him up carefully. Ryusui leaned into him.
The torch lit the path ahead. As they got closer to their fireplace, he called out.
“Sai?”
No answer.
Tsukasa turned slightly toward the woods.
“Sai? I have him!”
Just a second later they heard someone running. Rushed footsteps. Breaking branches.
Sai came out of the forest. He had a torch in his hand and looked out of breath and panicked. Like he hadn’t stopped running and searching since Ryusui disappeared.
The second he saw Ryusui safe in Tsukasa’s arms, his breath caught in his throat.
“RYU!”
He dropped the torch without thinking and ran towards them
“Ryu, arre...” His voice broke. “You’re okay. Gods, I’m so relieved. I’m sorry...”
Ryusui softly lifted his head reached out to him without a second thought.
Sai reached them and Tsukasa stepped forward, carefully shifting Ryusui into Sai’s arms.
The moment Sai had Ryusui in his arms, he broke down. He fell to his knees and hold Ryusui with a desperate grip. Like he’d never let him go again.
“I’m so sorry.” Sai kept saying. “I’m sorry what I said. I didn’t mean it, any of it, I never wanted to hurt you Ryu...”
Ryusui’s small arms were around Sai’s neck. He hold on tightly.
“Tsukasa said you were scared?” He asked quietly.
Sai nodded fast, his eyes were wet. “And stupid. So, so stupid. But I love you, I love you so much.”
Sai pressed his face against Ryusui’s shoulder. His whole body shook. Struggling to keep the sobs in.
“Yes. I’m still scared like hell.” He whispered. “When I noticed you were gone, I couldn’t think anymore. I was so worried you’d get hurt. Or that you’d run away and we would never see you again. I couldn’t stop imagining you out there, all alone...”
Ryusui didn’t say much. He was already drifting off again.
“Sorry.” He just whispered.
But Sai couldn’t stop crying.
“I need you, you know?” he whispered. “Not just big you. You.”
Even after Ryusui fell asleep, the tears didn’t stop coming. Sai tried to wipe then away, but there were just too many. Once after another, like a dam has broken. He looked down at his little brother in his arms.
Tsukasa had sit down on the other side of the fire. He watched them in silence. After a while spoke quietly.
“Come on. We should get some sleep too. Tomorrow will be important.”
Sai just nodded without saying anything.
He held Ryusui a little closer. Tsukasa leaned against his bag and closed his eyes. Sai stayed awake a while longer. His fingers moved gently through Ryusui’s hair.
The fire was still crackling softly beside them. Finally Sai closed his eyes too and the three of them slept.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
They had been walking all morning. The trees became less and less while the path went uphill. Sai looked at the compass in his hand. The needle still pointed in the same direction.
“We might be getting closer I think.” He said.
Ryusui was holding his hand. He hadn’t talked much that morning. But he held Sai’s hand tight as they walked. Tsukasa walked in front of them. He watched the unknown path.
After a while they reached a small clearing.
There it was.
An old, weathered, patched cabin, build with wood that didn’t really match. Some smoke came out from a chimney.
There was a woman kneeling by a bed in front if the cabin. She was sorting herbs and dried roots.
It was her. The same woman from the circle in the woods. The one who said the spell.
She didn’t look up for a moment. But eventually she stopped moving and turned her head to look towards the group.
Her eyes settled on Sai. Then Ryusui. Then Tsukasa.
She nodded once. Almost as if she had already expected them.
“I see.” She said calmly. “So you figured it out.”
Ryusui let go of Sai’s hand and wrapped both arms around his leg instead. Like a scared child hiding from a stranger.
Sai kept one hand steady on Ryusui’s back. He stepped forward.
“Yes.” He said. “I think so.”
The woman stood up. She cleaned her hands on an aged towel. She looked older than Sai’d expected. Not old in a weak way. Just old like a strong tree.
Sai took a breath.
“I’m here now. With him. Together.” Sai said. “I understand. And I want to start over. And do it right this time.”
There was a long silence.
Then the woman broke it and asked “And how will I know you don’t run away again tomorrow?”
Sai stared at the ground for a beat. Then be looked back at her.
“You don’t.” He said. “But I won’t. Not this time.”
Her head move to the side in a curious way.
“Yes. I was scared at first.” Sai said. “I still am. Of messing it up again. Of hurting him again. But I’ll stay. Even when it gets hard. So please. Can you turn him back?”
The woman looked at Tsukasa. Then at little Ryusui. Then back to Sai.
Her voice was soft but clear.
“Very well.”
She took a step back and pointed to a ring of stones near the cabin. A circle was drawn around them some white powder, maybe chalk.
“Bring him here. Into the circle.” She said.
Ryusui looked up. His arms stayed around Sai’s leg.
Sai bent down and placed his hands on Ryusui’s shoulders.
“It’s okay, Ryu.” He said. “You’re safe. I’ll be right here the whole time.”
Ryusui looked at him. His eyes were wide. “You promise?”
Sai nodded. “I promise.”
Ryusui turned to Tsukasa. He smiled and just nodded at him.
Then slowly, Ryusui let go. He stepped toward the circle and moved to the center.
The woman raised her hand and whispered something. Then she raised her voice. It was strong and steady.
F̾r̾o̾m̾ ̾y̾o̾u̾n̾g̾ ̾t̾o̾ ̾g̾r̾o̾w̾n̾,̾ ̾f̾r̾o̾m̾ ̾t̾h̾e̾n̾ ̾t̾o̾ ̾n̾o̾w̾,̾̾
L̾e̾t̾ ̾t̾i̾m̾e̾ ̾r̾e̾s̾t̾o̾r̾e̾ ̾w̾h̾a̾t̾ ̾w̾a̾s̾ ̾s̾o̾m̾e̾h̾o̾w̾.̾̾
N̾o̾ ̾m̾a̾g̾i̾c̾ ̾b̾i̾n̾d̾s̾ ̾o̾r̾ ̾s̾p̾e̾l̾l̾ ̾s̾h̾a̾l̾l̾ ̾s̾t̾a̾y̾,̾̾
r̾i̾n̾g̾ ̾b̾a̾c̾k̾ ̾t̾h̾e̾ ̾m̾a̾n̾ ̾h̾e̾ ̾i̾s̾ ̾t̾o̾d̾a̾y̾.̾
A fast wind suddenly rushed through the clearing, the leaves around were shaking. The circle of stones was glowing now.
Some mist curled up from the ground. The glowing turned blue. Then white.
Sai covered his face.
Then there was lightning. It crossed through the center of the circle and disappeared just as fast.
The mist cleared and Ryusui was standing there. Not four years old anymore. His adult self.
His old shirt had ripped apart, the pieces had fallen to the ground. He looked completely shocked. And completely naked.
He blinked. Looked around slowly, then he rubbed his eyes.
“What the hell...?” he muttered.
Tsukasa stepped forward.
“Welcome back.” He said with a huge grin.
Ryusui turned toward the voice. His eyes locked on him. Tsukasa pulled him close and held him tight. Ryusui leaned into him, still blinking.
“Tsukasa? Why do I feel so weird?” He asked. “And why am I naked? And... wait. Where’s Senku? And why is Sai here?”
He looked over Tsukasa’s shoulder and saw Sai standing there, stunned.
For a second Sai almost laughed. After everything, they did it! But the smile didn’t last.
He looked at Ryusui and wondered if the connection had survived the change.
“Uhhhh I feel dizzy. Like I was... dreaming. Some weird shit dream.” Ryusui said.
Tsukasa handed him the folded clothes from his backpack. “Long story. Get dressed. I’ll explain later.”
Sai hadn’t moved. His eyes were wide and still locked on Ryusui.
He turned slowly to the woman.
“How on earth did you do that?” He asked. “That wasn’t science. That was... I don’t even know what that was.”
The woman didn’t answer right away.
Then she just smiled and raised one finger to her lips.
“Who knows?”
And with a small snap of her fingers... the clearing disappeared.
The three landed softly at the end of the forest.
The camp wan’t far from here. Everything was quiet.
Ryusui blinked again and looked around.
“...Okay.” He said. “Honestly, what did I miss?”
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The walk back was quiet.
Sai stayed a few steps behind the others. He didn’t mean to. He just... slowed down.
Ryusui hadn’t said much since the transformation. He was walking beside Tsukasa and ran a hand over his face. “Urgh, my brain feels so foggy.”
“You just got struck by a forest lightning.” Tsukasa said with a small grin. “I would say that’s pretty normal.”
Ryusui let out a low breath, almost like a laugh. Then he leaned against Tsukasa’s arm.
“Can we go nap in my room?” He asked. “Just for a bit. I’m so tired.”
Tsukasa nodded. “Yeah. Of course.”
Their hands brushed. Ryusui caught his fingers without thinking. Held them.
Sai looked down at the dirt path.
They kept walking. Ryusui said something too quiet for Sai to hear, but Tsukasa gave him a small smile and nudged his shoulder.
Then Ryusui leaned up. Pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. Maybe his lips.
Tsukasa looked surprised. But not unhappy.
Sai stopped walking for half a second.
It wasn’t anything dramatic. Just a moment. A soft, tired kiss between boyfriends.
And yet Sai felt like he had been dropped into cold water.
Just this morning Ryusui had been wrapped around his arm. Asking for hugs. Falling asleep in his chest.
Now he was grown. Changed. Shifted back into someone Sai didn’t know how to deal with anymore.
He knew this was stupid. To feel left out.
He wasn’t supposed to feel like this.
But he did.
He kept walking.
They reached their camp again. Ryusui leaned into Tsukasa again, eyes half-closed now.
Sai stood for a moment. Then he turned without a word and headed to the lab. Someone need to report.
Senku was inside, sorting through a row of glass tubes. He didn’t look up at first.
“We’re back.” Sai said. “Ryusui’s an adult again. It worked.”
Senku glanced up.
He looked at Sai for a second longer than usual. His eyes narrowed just a bit.
“You look like it didn’t.” he said.
Sai didn’t answer.
Senku raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”
Sai looked past him. Then back down.
“I’m... fine.” He said. “Just tired.”
Senku watched him for another moment. Sai didn’t meet his eyes.
Then Senku asked “Do you know what it was now? What actually turned him back?”
Sai exhaled slowly. “No clue. Probably magic?”
His voice was flat. Done.
“Look, I’ll write everything down later.” He added. “The coordinates, the spell, what we saw. All of it. Just...”
He broke off mid-sentence. Turned and walked out.
Back to his room. Back to silence.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The next day passed slowly.
Sai didn’t leave his room. He didn’t eat. He didn’t speak.
He just lay there. On his side. One arm was tucked under his head. The blanket barely covered his legs.
The light from the window moved over the floor. White. Then gold. Then pale grey.
He could’ve worked. Sheets of paper waited for him and the desk was clear. He had circuit layouts to sketch, notes to sort and systems to plan. Senku was counting on him to handle the circuits and programming. He was already behind schedule now.
But he didn’t care.
None of it mattered today.
Yesterday should have felt like a victory.
But it didn’t. It felt hollow.
Something was missing. Or maybe it was everything.
It felt like something had been pulled away. Quietly. Without warning.
There were no small footsteps in his room. No soft voice calling his name. No little hand tugging on his sleeve. No little hand slipping into his.
Just quiet.
Just space.
Too much space.
He had what he thought he wanted. Silence.
But it felt like the wrong version of peace.
None of it mattered. Not if Ryusui wasn’t there.
His eyes moved across the room.
He saw a wrinkled paper still sitting on his nightstand.
Sai reached over and picked it up.
It was a drawing.
Two stick figures stood on the deck. One had wild hair. The other wore a pirate hat.
A sun with beamed down from the corner of the sky.
It was stupid. And messy. And perfect.
Sai pressed the drawing to his chest and closed his eyes.
His throat was tight. He tried to blink them away but the tears came.
He just wanted to talk to Ryusui.
He wanted to ask how he was. What he remembered. If he remembered anything at all.
But he didn’t know how to start.
Maybe Ryusui didn’t want to hear from him anyway.
He was probably with Tsukasa. Laughing. Resting. Holding hands like before.
Of course he was.
Sai’s fingers curled around the paper.
“Is this how you felt?” He whispered. “Back then?”
When he left for India, Ryusui had kept calling. Kept writing.
Sai never answered.
Now he wondered how many nights Ryusui had stared at an empty screen. How many times he had wanted to reach out and didn’t know how.
It hurt.
He thought he had to push forward. Keep moving. Stay focused. Don’t look back.
Now all he wanted was to go back. Just for a second.
To answer.
To say I miss you too.
To say I’m sorry.
But it was too late for that version of them.
Sai turned to face the wall.
At some point, the tears stopped.
And the room stayed quiet.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Someone knocked the door. Just two quiet taps.
Sai woke up, confused. He was surprised he’d fallen asleep. He couldn’t even remember when.
It was dark in his room. His body protested. It felt heavy. Like it didn’t want to move. But he forced himself to sit up anyway.
The knock came again. A little firmer this time.
He stood. Slowly. His limbs hurt.
He walked over and opened his door.
Ryusui was standing there. Tall and confident. An adult.
Still Ryusui.
“Hey.” Ryusui greeted him. “Can I come in?”
Sai just stepped aside.
Ryusui walked past him and sat on the bed. Just on the corner. He put his hands on his legs.
Sai shut the door. He didn’t know how to react. What to do now. So in the end he just sat down on the bed as well, but he kept a distance between them.
The silence hung between them.
Ryusui looked at his hands. Then he spoke. “Tsukasa told me everything.”
Sai glanced at him.
“About the transformation. The journey. And what happened while I was... small.”
Another pause.
“I also thing I start to remember a few things.” Ryusui said. “Not clearly. More like... blurry dreams. Half-pictures. Feelings. I remember being cold. And scared. And you were there. You were always there.”
Sai didn’t answer. He couldn’t trust his voice yet.
“I remember drawing something.” Ryusui said. “And... crying, I think. You hugged me. Calmed me down.”
His voice was quiet. Not uncertain, just gentle.
“Was that real?” He asked. “Did all of that really happen?”
Sai nodded. “Yeah.”
Ryusui looked over. “Did you mean what you said? To the little me.”
Sai looked down. “Which part?”
“All of it.” Ryusui said.
Sai didn’t speak right away. Then he answered.
“Yes.” His voice was small, almost breaking. “Every word.”
Silence again.
It was a silence that felt loaded. Full. Like it hold everything that had been left unsaid for years.
Sai played nervous with his hands. Then stopped. Then started again. “I really have no idea how to... say this. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to tell you. All day. But it’s still not enough.”
“You really don’t have to-” Ryusui tried, but Sai just shook his head.
“No. This matters. I need to.”
He inhaled slowly.
“I didn’t get it back then. That’s a fact I can’t stop thinking about. I just didn’t see what was right in front of me. Not when I left. Not when I stopped answering. You kept trying and I... I just shut the door.”
His words were uneven. Not practiced. He was just spilling out now.
“I didn’t noticed how much I actually missed you. Until you were right there again. Holding my hand. Looking at me like you never stopped.”
Sai gave a short, breathless laugh. Not from amusement.
“You only ever wanted to be around me. That’s all it was. And all I could think about was how to escape the family, the company, how to get away from everything...“
He needed a moment to continue.
“But it was just you. It was always just you.”
He looked down again.
“I want to try again.” He said. “I don’t know how. Or where to start. But I want to. I want to be the brother you deserve. Not just on paper. But... really.”
He stopped. His words were breaking. His voice stuck.
“I don’t want to lose you.” He said. “Not again.”
And then Ryusui moved.
Without warning. Without hesitation.
He moved forward and pulled Sai into a hug. Tight. Anchoring.
Sai froze. Then hugged him back, his fingers curled into Ryusui’s shirt. His eyes hurt.
They didn’t say anything for a while.
“Thank you.” Ryusui’s spoke against his ear. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”
Sai couldn’t answer. He just held on tighter.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
They stayed like that for some time and didn’t move.
Just holding each other close. Surrounded by silence, but this time it felt right. Like nothing was missing.
Sai’s breathing relaxed. Ryusui placed his head against Sai’s shoulder.
“Does this mean you’ll join us on the ship when we’re ready? You’re coming with me?” Ryusui mumbled after a while.
Sai sighed softly. “Yes. I mean, you need a worthy opponent to play chess against on the high seas, don’t you?”
Ryusui’s smile was huge and real. “Ha... you won’t get rid of me this time.”
Sa’s eyes widened.
Ryusui grinned without lifting his head. “You’re stuck with me till forever.”
Sai gave a tired breath. Almost a laugh. “Is that a threat?”
“It’s a promise. Don’t pretend you’re not touched.” Ryusui said, his eyes still closed.
Sai rolled his eyes. “Somehow, I’m not surprised. You literally clung to me for days.”
“Exactly.” Ryusui said. “Best days of your life.”
Sai said nothing. But he didn’t deny it either.
There was another pause.
Then Ryusui opened one eye. “Hey... it’s pretty late. Mind if I stay for the night?”
Sai gave him a look. “You really think Tsukasa’s gonna let you stay the night elsewhere right after he got his boyfriend back?”
Ryusui grinned. “He’s fine with it.”
“Oh really.”
“He even suggested it.” Ryusui said, sitting up a little. “Told me I should. He said you need me more tonight.“
Sai shook his head. “Yeah. That’s really like him.”
He pulled back from the hug and reached for the blanket. “Fine. Get in. Just don’t steal the blanket.”
Ryusui climbed under the covers and moved to one side.
Sai lay down next to him, careful not to overthink anything. The blanket covered both of them now.
For a few heartbeats, neither of them said something.
Then Ryusui reached out. He quietly took Sai’s hand under the blanket. His fingers curled around his gently. Sai didn’t pull away. He intertwined their fingers.
Just here, right now, things didn’t feel so heavy anymore.
Ryusui’s voice was just a whisper.
“Hey, Sai? If we don’t like where the compass points...”
Sai turned his head, eyes already half-closed. He whispered back.
“...we just change the map.”
Ryusui smiled. Sai couldn’t see it. But he could feel it. Ryusui’s hand squeezed his just a little tighter.
Their breathing started to match. It fell into the same calm rhythm.
And for the first time in ages they both fell asleep without feeling of something missing.