Chapter Text
It was the night after the party. Both Dave and Karkat were sitting in their respective rooms in their respective residences. Karkat with his dad and brother, and Dave living with Rose.
Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you keep thinking about Karkat. Not in a gay way, obviously, just that you hope he's feeling better after last night and that he sorts out his relationship. Yeah. You scroll through social media on your bed, but eventually get bored and set your phone down next to you while you stare at the ceiling. Your room is different from the one you grew up in, considering you share a small apartment with your sister. You didn't have a lot of money, considering you had to build your college fund on your own from working many jobs and taking commissions online for drawing during your highschool years, so living with your sister is a life saver. Not to mention she's insanely helpful at times.
You hear two knocks on your door which you recognize as Rose knocking and you sit up on your bed a little. "It's open." You respond, and watch her poke her head in before entering the room fully with a bowl. "I brought you a snack." She hands you the bowl- which has apple slices, a glob of peanut butter, and some cinnamon on it. Fuck, you love your sister. "I'm not a kid, y'know. I'm gonna be 21 soon." You take the bowl anyway and eat at one of the apple slices. There's the right amount of cinnamon there so it doesn't mess up the taste or texture of the apples or the peanut butter. She's considerate like that. She sighed and smiled a little, "First of all, you will be 21 in a few months, still more than you could count on a single hand. That is more than 'soon.' And, the way you lit up when I gave you the speaks otherwise." Well damn. She knows you a bit too well. Twin instincts. The two of you sat in comfortable silence, you sitting criss-cross on your bed munching on apple slices while Rose sat gingerly on the edge, scanning the room around her before her gaze landed back on you.
"So, how was Karkat? I didn't see you again last night."
You felt your face heat up for some unknown reason and stared into your bowl. "He's fine, might be a little hungover, but he's probably fine-" "And have you checked on him?" Your face heated up more. Jesus, what the hell is going on here? "I don't have his number, so... No. I didn't. Why?" You looked back up at Rose and try to maintain a look of composure, but she's 7 steps ahead of you and has already noticed and assessed your entire demeanor. "Message him on social media, then. You should check on him, as his friend." You almost choked on your apple slice. "I'm not his friend? Where- where did you even get that? What?" Rose smirked. "Dave, I see the way you look at him. I'm no fool. You two are obviously close and if it's not something the two of you're ready to tell everyone-" "I don't like him!!" You voice raised at her a bit and you shifted in your spot into a different position. "What is that even implying? That I'm in love with him? God Rose, I barely know the guy! He didn't even like me in highschool and neither did I. We both stayed our separate ways and he has his own weird breakup shit going on that isn't my business even though he told me all of it and it shouldn't be your business either." You thought you had ended on a strong note but Rose only hummed and stood up.
"You know, your tendency to overshare and speak more than generally necessary for the situation tends to not return in your favour. But thank you for the information, I suppose." Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck you. Rose grabbed a few stray dishes scattered around your room and left without a word as you sat absolutely gobsmacked on your bed. You slowly sunk into it until you had slid back down into a position where you could reach your phone and headphones without moving the rest of your torso generally easily. You stared at the ceiling contemplating what you had just said and what Rose was going to do with this information. Probably store it into a file folder and use it later for her weird, gay shipping. And what was that about, anyway? Does she really think you and Karkat are dating? The idea itself is so absurd to you. The two of you. Together. Geez. You two don't even mix. Your quiet and he's loud. You're your stupid ironic self and he's... Him. Wait. Wait holy fuck, you have a stupid idea.
You grab your phone and open your social media to June's page, scrolling through her friends until you find Karkat. You're tempted to scroll through his photos, but you are a man on a mission and don't have time to stalk his page. You find his Pesterchum and open his dms to hesitantly type out a message, muttering it to yourself a few times before actually sending it.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 16:45 --
TG: yo i had an idea
TG: admittedly a little dumb but you gotta hear me out on it
TG: this is strider btw
A whole minute went by of waiting before you actually got a response. It was a literal miracle he didn't block you on the spot.
CG: AND WHAT COULD THIS DUMBFUCK IDEA BE.
TG: ok so like
TG: do you want to get back at your ex slash somewhat gay for the matter friend
CG: THAT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOUR IDEA IS. I'VE SEEN A FEW OF THE VARIOUS IDEAS YOU CONJURE UP AND SOME DO NOT END AS WELL AS YOU TRY TO EXECUTE THEM.
CG: BUT SURE, HUMOR ME.
TG: ok so what if we
TG: and this is a hypothetical to be work shopped
TG: fake dated
There was no response from the other end for a second, and god you wished Pesterchum had the ability to see if someone's typing because you really hope you at least get a response instead of a block. To your absolute relief, he texted back. You then promptly had a heart attack.
CG: GO ON.
He wasn't rejecting you. Yet. You hope.
TG: ok so my thought process was the fact we are very much opposites to each other right
TG: so us dating would be crazy and uncalled for
TG: fake dating i mean
TG: no homo
Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and holy shit, your about to make a bad decision.
You hesitantly type out your response, send it, and throw your phone across the room.
CG: OK.