Chapter Text
Ominis had been right, after all.
Not about his previous belief that he’d die young.
It was about his theory that, the more he gave in to the fear, to the mental weakness and pain and negative emotions, the more helpless he would become to the painful waves, the remnants of the Cruciatus curse in his body.
In the weeks that followed that night he shared every one of his darkest wounds and scars to Sebastian, Ominis hadn’t felt any pain. Not even a small sting, not even one headache. He felt better, day by day, he stronger and happier.
It was easy to forget here, away from everything he’d ever known, alone with Sebastian and Nox. He felt safe, knowing nobody could ever find them. Well, aside from a few friends, that he and Sebastian trusted. Some of them had visited too. Garreth, Amit and Poppy had come over in the last week of August. It had been nice…
The pain hadn’t come back. Ominis wasn’t ready to say he was free forever from the hold of the Cruciatus, but… He was hopeful.
Days were easy. He and Sebastian took slow walks at night, along the shore, and then sat by the fire, outside or inside, depending on the weather. They’d cooked, played silly games, talked long into the night, sometimes even until the break of dawn.
Sebastian always found excuses to join him in his bed lately. There was a spider, or his bed was making annoying noises when he moved, or he wanted to make sure Ominis was alright.
It was driving him mad to feel Sebastian’s warm body against him and never feeling brave enough to…
To do something about it.
Somewhere in the summer, it had become too much to bear. Ominis had nurtured those feelings for a long time but had never thought they would be reciprocated in this universe and lifetime. Sebastian had always been a flirt at school, he’d always liked to smile and talk to girls, so Ominis obviously thought it impossible for them to be anything more than friends. It was fantasy on his part. Deep, deep desires that never had a right to exist outside of his thoughts and heart. And it had been alright. He had made peace with it. Having Sebastian in his life was enough.
But things had changed when Sebastian had declared they’d move in together. When he’d held his hand in the infirmary, took care of him like he was some precious gem, when he’d let him sleep on his shoulder in the common room near the end of the year. When he’d keep him company in the darkest of nights, through his nightmares and pain. When he kept repeating he’d take Ominis away and protect him from his family. Protect him from the world, provide for him, take a job and keep a roof over their heads.
What did this all mean, then? What did Sebastian want from him, really? Was this normal friendship? To sleep together in bed? To hold each other’s hands? To wipe each other’s tears? To know exactly what the other liked to drink first thing in the morning?
It was raining heavily when Ominis realized he was in love with Sebastian Sallow.
It was the last day of August and tomorrow, he wasn’t going back to Hogwarts like every September 1st of the last seven years. Such uncertainty had always been scary, but he wasn’t afraid now. He was… ready to move on, and his heart was breaking in a million pieces at the thought of doing this, but he didn’t want to be here the day Sebastian would come home with a bright young woman and declare they’d move away together to get wed. He wasn’t a fool. He knew Sebastian was going to the Auror-training program at the Ministry. He wasn’t really sleeping when Sebastian had confessed he was going to do it. Ominis knew Sebastian was bound to meet people there…
Ominis stopped the trail of his thoughts before they brought him to tears. He’d cried enough in the past eight months. It wasn’t like him to dwell, to let himself drown… He’d promised himself he’d fight every negative, dark emotion. He wouldn’t let Sebastian’s friendship become something affiliated with sorrow and heartache.
“Are you okay?”
He jumped slightly, sitting on the cottage’s steps under the porch, listening to the pouring. Sebastian’s footsteps weren’t exactly discreet at his back, but he didn’t even hear them.
“Fine. Just… thinking.”
“I made some soup. Are you hungry?”
Ominis smiled softly.
“Soup? You? Merlin, I shall meet my end today.”
Sebastian laughed, loud and genuine, and Ominis felt the sting to his heart yet again.
But he still got up and followed the young man inside.
* * *
The next day was a bright, sunny day. He had gotten up early, before Sebastian for once. Again, the boy had joined him in bed during the night. Ominis was about to suggest they’d make something with the other bedroom since Sebastian wasn’t at all using it.
But it was useless. Because Ominis was probably going to leave soon.
He went downstairs and thought about it for hours. His heart was beating fast. His hands were shaking. He thought about the words he would use, about what he was going to do afterwards. He had his money from his aunt―Sebastian had gone to Gringotts the other day and retrieved it for him―so maybe he could find a place not so far from here. He still wanted to see Sebastian. He still wanted to be in his life, but a little distance would prevent his broken heart.
But then the most unexpected thing happened. He heard steps outside the cottage, and he knew they were coming for the door. Nervous, Ominis picked up his wand and went to the hall, just in time for this person to knock softly, almost hesitantly.
“Yes?” he said as he opened the door.
“I wasn’t sure I had the right address,” said a voice he recognized immediately.
Ominis felt his heart swelled with joy and sudden happiness. The shape of a smile appeared on his lips.
“Maitreyi?”
“Long time no see, Ominis.”
In the span of seconds, Ominis was back to Hogwarts, in 5th year, when they’d meet in the Undercroft. And though the memories of much of that year still hurt, Ominis didn’t have a single bad memory of her. Maitreyi Sharma, the Slytherin new kid who attended Hogwarts alongside them. Ominis had been wary of her in the beginning, but she had proved a trusted and loyal friend.
He reached out to her and seconds later, she put a hand on his wrist and forearm, her touch warm and familiar, grounding. Her sudden presence seemed to put everything in perspective. She squeezed his wrist with a small laugh.
“You look good, Ominis. Healthy and… happy.”
“Do I?” he said and, horrifyingly, blushed.
“Yes. You used to hold yourself like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. Now, you’re… tall and glowing.”
He let out a soft breath. “I… think I finally found a place where I can breathe.”
“I was told you rented this place with Sebastian Sallow?”
“Oh, yes, I… He’s still sleeping.”
Maitreyi was silent for a moment. The rain from the day before still clung to the earth, the air fresh and bright around them, smelling of wet leaves.
“We moved in together at the beginning of summer.” He hesitated, then added, quieter, “He saved me. In more ways than one.”
Maitreyi let go of his arm and then said:
“Walk with me? Until he wakes up.”
Ominis agreed and, moments later, they were walking along the shore, the wind on their face. They spoke for a while, exchanging politeness and asking questions about their wellbeing, their whereabouts, their situation. Maitreyi spoke fondly about her school back in India and her magical exploits and her travels. Ominis listened to her with an affectionate smile. Her voice had always been so relaxing to him, and he loved listening to her stories, now that they weren’t about Sebastian’s dark arts related activities.
And the more she spoke, the more he realized those days were really far, far away into the past.
“What brought you back to England?” he asked after a time.
“My cousin was on a business visit, he had some affairs with the British Ministry of Magic, so I tagged along. I was eager to see my friends from Hogwarts. Poppy was the one who told me you shared a cottage with Sebastian. She felt guilty after she told me, though… She said something about you being… protected? That only a few selected people only were allowed to know your location.”
Ominis sighed.
“I… It’s a long story. Let’s say I… I’m hiding from my family.”
“Oh. Yes, I heard…”
Maitreyi’s voice was sad now.
“What did you hear?”
“That they… hurt you, last year? Is that why you’re hiding?”
“They want me dead. Um, forgive me. I don’t like to speak about it. I’m safe now.”
“Of course.”
Ominis didn’t see the soft, fond smile on her face as she watched him. They turned around at some point and made their way back to the cottage slowly.
“So, when are you going back to India?”
“In a few days. I really wanted to see you before I go. I missed you a lot, you know.”
“I missed you too.”
Maitreyi laughed softly and, to Ominis surprise, linked an arm around Ominis’s elbow as they walked, holding on to him as if she was the unsighted one who needed guidance.
“I kept thinking about what happened in 5th year. I was so worried about you, and Sebastian. Then, I heard about Anne… She passed only a few days after I left.”
“Yeah…” Ominis breathed softly, with the same weight in his heart whenever he thought of Anne.
They remained silent for a few more steps. Then, the cottage came into view, and Maitreyi asked:
“How has Sebastian been?”
Ominis couldn’t help but smile.
“He’s… different. Well, not really different, but… more like his old self. Before Anne was cursed. Like the boy I knew from our first year. He’s silly, playful, kind, warm. He’s helping me for whatever, everyday. He was the one who found the cottage. He returned from his exile when he learned I had been… hurt. And he finished Hogwarts. He’s listed to start the Auror-Training Program.”
Maitreyi nodded. “Sebastian Sallow, an Auror. Suits him, somehow. What about you, Ominis? What are you going to do?”
“That’ll depend.”
“On what?”
Of where I’ll be in a few days or weeks. Ominis shook his head slightly and then smiled.
“Never mind that. I haven’t decided yet.”
“Well, before you ask, I will join a special group of witches and wizards that will specialize in research of ancient magic. I found someone in Meghalaya who has the same talent as I.”
Ominis’s eyes widened. “Oh, really? That is impressive.”
“Oh, and… I am also engaged.”
Another smile graced Ominis’s face. Maitreyi was gleaming at his side, so much that he knew she was probably blushing with delight.
“I am so very happy for you, Maitreyi, you deserve it. I hope he treats you well.”
“He does. His name is Aryan. Perhaps one day I can introduce you.”
“I wouldn’t mind travelling with you to India. I can only dream about putting that much distance between me and my family. Should you think they’d find me there?”
Maitreyi laughed.
“Probably not. The Meghalaya School of Wizardry is a remote location far away from cities. And of course shielded and protected. You’d be safe. But… you wouldn’t be able to live with the distance between you and Sebastian, though.”
Ominis opened his mouth and shut it instantly. What? They had arrived at the cottage and stopped moving.
“Don’t misunderstand me, Ominis. I would love to have you there. I think you’d like India very much.”
“Would I?”
“Hm-hm!”
Maitreyi slowed to a halt, her hand still looped around his arm. For a moment, neither spoke or even reached for the steps. Ominis’s sharp hearing could even pick up on Sebastian’s movements inside―he was awake. The wind tugged their hair, carrying the distant cry of gulls.
“I didn’t say that to frighten you, you know” Maitreyi suddenly said softly. “Or to push you.”
“What are you talking about?” Ominis whispered, trying to act innocent.
“About Sebastian,” she added. “And about you being unable to be away from him.”
She turned toward him then, standing in front of him so fully that he felt her presence like a wall of warmth. He couldn’t see her face, but he didn’t need to.
“You’ve spent so long surviving,” she went on. “Enduring.” Her thumb brushed once over his sleeve, grounding, familiar. “But this—this isn’t survival, Ominis. This is living.”
He swallowed.
“I don’t know how to do that without ruining everything,” he admitted, throat tight, stomach in knots. “Sebastian probably doesn’t even… I mean, I believed he had a crush on you.”
Maitreyi huffed out a quiet laugh. “Honestly, I had a crush on him, for a while. But in the end, it was clear he and I were never meant to be. I knew that in the way he was talking about you when we were alone. Ominis, perhaps it’s not my place to say this, the three of us haven’t seen each other in a long time, and I don’t know where Sebastian is at these days, but for the longest time during 5th year, I believed he had a crush on you.”
Ominis couldn’t help but giggle. It was so… absurd.
“That… is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Come on, would that be so hard to believe? You can’t see it, but I do. The way he always looked at you in the halls, in the Great Hall at diners, or when we were studying in the common room, and even in the Scriptorium. He was mostly concerned about his sister that year for sure, but he also always watched to make sure you were alright. He tried to act all confident and nonchalant, but… I saw through his act.”
“Don’t mock.”
“I’m not, of course I’m not. And whatever comes between you, you won’t ruin everything. I mean, he did find a whole place for you to stay together. I’m still waiting for Aryan to do the same, for heaven’s sake, but perhaps he’s waiting for us to be wed first, which is another matter entirely.”
Ominis laughed softly at his friend’s joyful chatting, his head down, heart hammering. Sebastian had been watching him all the time?
“You won’t ruin it by being honest, is what I mean. You will only ever hurt yourself by staying silent.”
He was about to say something, but then the door of the cottage flew open.
“I knew I heard that voice!” Sebastian exclaimed.
Maitreyi turned to him.
“We went for a walk while you were having your beauty sleep.”
Sebastian went down to greet her. “Can’t believe you’re here. How have you been?”
They started to small talk, just like Maitreyi and Ominis had during their walk. She repeated to him her stories about her life and travels, she shared the news of her engagement, to which Sebastian was completely unbothered, and even genuinely happy―so Ominis confirmed to himself he wasn’t in love with her anymore. He probably never was, and it was just his insecurities taking over his rational thoughts.
Then, Sebastian invited her inside and they talked some more over cooking breakfast. Ominis sat quietly and listened as they remembered their time at Hogwarts. Ominis was only somehow listening, his mind still racing about things Maitreyi had said.
‘I don’t know where Sebastian is at these days, but for the longest time during 5th year, I believed he had a crush on you.’
‘You will only ever hurt yourself by staying silent.’
They spent the day together outside for the most part, exploring the area, like old times. Maitreyi talked for the most part about her exciting future job and how she couldn’t wait to learn new things about her abilities and the secrets of magic. Sebastian shared a bit about his own potential future as an Auror, and Ominis revealed he was considering becoming a healer, specialized in injuries caused by dark magic, but he still hadn’t made up his mind.
Then, they bumped into Imelda, who was testing her newest broom in the region with some friends of her, and they talked some more. They went back to the cottage at sunset. Sebastian prepared dinner and Ominis and Maitreyi made a fire outside where they eat afterwards.
It was quite late when she said she had to meet her cousin in Hogsmeade. The sky was dark by then, and she took them both in her arms and hugged them tight before she left, promising to write as soon as she’d be home, to give news.
“Imagine that,” Sebastian said later when they went inside to get ready for bed. “She’s getting married. Life goes on after all…”
“It does,” Ominis replied in a soft voice.
His heart was beating so fast again. He’d been circling his friend’s words in his head all day.
“You look tired,” Sebastian suddenly told him. “Long day, uh?”
Ominis nodded, though exhaustion wasn’t what weighed on him. His chest felt too full, his thoughts too loud. He followed Sebastian upstairs.
He went for his bedroom, and Sebastian did the same. Then, he heard the young man whining about the sheets being so dirty. Ominis knew what this meant: and he was right, as footsteps came to his room next. He could find that endearing, and he could smile, knowing how Sebastian always found a reason to share with him.
But tonight, his heart felt heavy, and he wanted to cry.
“Hey, Ominis, mind if I…?”
“Okay,” he said quickly, to shut him up, because if he listened to himself, he’d turn Sebastian away to preserve what was left of his heart.
He climbed into the bed and Sebastian soon followed. They settled as they had so many nights before, backs almost touching, close enough that Ominis could feel the warmth of him through the sheets. The room smelled faintly of smoke and salt and Sebastian — a scent he had come to associate with safety.
“Ominis?” Sebastian murmured after a while.
“I’m sleeping.”
“You’ve been… awfully quiet all day, and… kind of sad?” A pause. “Did I do something wrong?”
Ominis fought the turmoil of emotions inside. Tomorrow. He’d do this tomorrow. It’ll be sink or swim.
Maybe Sebastian did share his feelings. Maitreyi was convinced he did once, in some way or another, care for him very much. But caring for a friend didn’t mean… wanting so much more, did it? It didn’t mean Sebastian wanted to share this small place forever. It didn’t mean he wanted to kiss or wrap his arms around Ominis every night, or hold his hand, or wake up beside him every morning.
I’ll do this tomorrow, he thought to himself again.
“No,” he finally whispered. “Nothing. Just sleep, Sebastian.”
Sebastian nodded obediently at his back, so close Ominis could feel the movement of his head. Then, he turned and a few minutes later, Ominis heard his breathing steadying.
* * *
The next morning was pale and grey, the kind that carried the scent of the sea and rain in the air. Ominis woke before Sebastian, heart already racing as if it had never truly rested.
He slipped from the bed quietly, putting on a thin cream linen shirt and dark grey trousers, and went downstairs. Nox followed, silent as a shadow, settling at his feet as he stared out the window.
He had rehearsed the words a thousand times in his head. None of them made the shaking stop.
When Sebastian finally came down, hair still sleep-tousled, blinking against the light, he smiled without hesitation.
“Morning,” Sebastian said, voice still rough with sleep. “You’re up early.”
Ominis inhaled slowly. “Good morning,” he murmured with a strange, gloomy aura around him.
Sebastian frowned almost immediately. Not worried—more attentive. He crossed the room, reaching for the kettle before pausing. He looked back at Ominis, watching as the young man was standing silently there at the window. He had dark bags under his eyes and looked paler than usual. A sort of sadness lingered still, like it had yesterday, despite them having had a dear friend visiting.
“…Are you alright?”
“Sebastian,” Ominis answered, and his voice was steady despite everything. “I… I need to talk to you. B-Before you leave for London.”
“Okay,” he said cautiously. “Well, I’m only off to London in a week, what’s going on?”
“I might leave too. I… I’m not sure yet.”
Sebastian felt like the whole sky fell on his head. Panic flowed through his body.
“Wait. What?” he said softly. “But… why? Wh… where?”
“I don’t know.”
“I knew there was something wrong. I…”
Sebastian felt sick to his stomach. Ominis was standing there, half turned to the windows, like he already had one foot out of the house, and it terrified Sebastian. Why would he want to leave? Go where? What about his family? They were still out there, waiting for the perfect opportunity to find Ominis and make him disappear for good.
“Tell me, please,” Sebastian begged, voice trembling.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said last night. About life moving on.” The blond let out a breath, steadying himself. “And I realized that I can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what? Ominis, I don’t understand. Is this something I said or did? If it is, then please talk to me, and I’ll make it right this instant, I’ll… Whatever you need or desire, I’ll go get it, I… Please don’t go.”
“Sebastian.”
Then Ominis turned fully to him, still somewhat clinging to the window and the wall adjacent, which was now at his back. He looked like he was cornered, he looked vulnerable and sad and it was killing Sebastian. He knew the next words would destroy him.
This was the moment he would lose everything…
“I simply can’t keep pretending. Like this. You and me. Living together.” Ominis gestured vaguely between them. “As if none of it means… more.”
Silence stretched between them, heavy but not hostile. Sebastian opened his mouth, then closed it again.
Ominis didn’t give him the chance to interrupt.
“I can’t be your friend the way we always were before,” Ominis said. “Things have changed for me. I can’t be here the day you come home and tell me you’ve met someone, or that you’re leaving for London, building a life for yourself. I would loathe myself if I ever became such a burden to you. I am so grateful for you, Sebastian, for everything you’ve done for me. You protected me when no one did. You saved me and helped me heal and grow strong, but…”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Sebastian almost pleaded. “A burden? This isn’t what you are to me, Ominis. We… we’re good, aren’t we? Life here is nice, and…”
“For goodness’s sake, Sebastian, I love you! Not like a brother, not like a friend...”
There was a silence. So sudden, so loud, and so heavy. None of them said anything. Ominis couldn’t see it, but Sebastian was looking at him with eyes wide, mouth hanging open. Ominis could only feel his own heart pounding. He even thought for a moment he was going to fall flat on his face, his knees weak and shaking.
“Which is why I… c-can’t go on like this. It’s too hard for me to… hold the place your future wife will have when I’m tossed aside.”
There was another silence, but this time Ominis couldn’t for the life of him endure it.
“Merlin, please say something.”
“You’ve no idea, do you?” Sebastian whispered.
“What?” he barked. He was on the verge of collapsing. What was Sebastian even saying now? He just wanted to disappear under the floor.
Sebastian stepped forward to him.
“I suppose I didn’t make myself clear enough, I… Well, damn it.”
“Sebastian, what are you on about? Didn’t you hear what I said? I… It’s hard enough as it is, I…”
“Ominis.”
His name was only whispered, as Sebastian stepped forward quickly. Whatever words Ominis might have uttered next were cut short when Sebastian closed the distance between them and kissed him. In the span of seconds, Ominis had his back on the wall and Sebastian’s body was everywhere, his hands on his waist, his mouth to his lips, his warmth…
Ominis wasn’t sure he was breathing now. He might have been dreaming the whole thing. Because… It was simply heavenly.
Sebastian kissed him slow at first. Taking his time, but still confident. Like he’d been carefully calculating the whole thing. Ominis wanted to push him away, wanted to think clearly, but then… what was the point? He’d lost all common sense now, and all he knew and cared about this instant was Sebastian’s warm hands on his face, soft mouth on his own. Sebastian deepened the kiss and Ominis felt his body melt into liquid, felt his heart go up in flames…
When they pulled apart, Sebastian put his forehead on Ominis’s. They breathed softly together, Ominis hesitantly lifted a hand to brush over Sebastian’s cheek.
“What… was that…”
“Sometimes you’re dense, Ominis.”
“Pardon?!”
“I’ve been… mad for you. For years. I love you too. I love you so much.”
“Wh-Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you? I thought you didn’t feel the same for me, and it would have been a reasonable belief after everything I put you through. I never, in a million years, entertained the mere possibility that I’d deserve you in this lifetime. And then you were hurt, and you had nowhere to go, and I told myself the only reason you followed me here was because you were scared and you needed to land on your feet, and I was ready to give you anything. Whatever you needed. For as long as you needed it. If you were safe, I didn’t care about the rest…”
Ominis would never admit that there were tears on his face now.
“You’re such an idiot, Sallow.”
“But apparently you’re in love with this idiot,” Sebastian said as he wiped the wetness from his cheeks. "And I'm in love with you too. Ominis, I want to wake up here everyday of my life next to you. I want to have you on my lap at night when we read by the fire. I want to see you smile contently, safe, and happy. I want to keep you warm when you shiver. I want you to be here laughing at me when I cook and I want to hear all of your sarcastic comments. I want to hear your voice all the time. I want to watch you tend to our garden, I want your arms around me and I want to touch you until you cry of happiness. I want all of this and even more."
Sebastian wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him tighter to him. Ominis almost swooned. He slipped an arm around Sebastian’s neck and sighed, shutting his eyes.
“I feel like a dramatic fool, now.”
“You’re not a fool, love,” Sebastian softly whispered in his ear. “Dramatic, maybe.”
“Shut up.”
Sebastian than plunged his face into the crook of his neck and hugged him so hard it probably should have crushed their bones. But neither boy cared. Ominis was alive for the first time since forever, slipping both arms around Sebastian’s neck now, like all the pieces of their past coming back together.
“So you’re not leaving me?” Sebastian muffled in his skin. “When I’m back from London, y-you’ll be here? We can… grow old in here and everything?”
Ominis shook his head. His heart was full and content.
He’d stay here forever.
“I’ll be here. It’s you and me, Sallow.”
Sebastian smiled.
“Against the world, Gaunt.”