Chapter Text
The battle is about to begin and it is raining. I see the thousands of Saruman super pumped up Orcs standing there, I hear their long staffs beat against the ground. They are bellowing into the night, they are excited, they are ready for human blood. I turn my head slightly and see Aragorn, his stern face full of determination. I quickly review the commands in my head; one blast of the horn means "fire", two means "cease fire", three mean "charge" and one long blast means "fall back". It’s easy enough, I had to memorize it quickly because this cursed rain ruined the paper with the written commands.
Suddenly an arrow from one of the Rohan warriors hits an orci. I hear Theodan shout "Cease your fire!" but it is too late, the orcs have prepared their bows. I see Aragorn raise the horn to his lips, and one loud blast comes from it.
"FIRE!" I shout at the top of my lungs, and the elves behind us fire their arrows. The orcs begin running towards us and I fight with myself to stay grounded and not go running, screaming with terror away from all of this.
Before I know it the orcs have come up and over the walls. I see Aragorn draw his sword, I do the same, and then shout "DRAW SWORDS!" to the men behind us. I hear the shrill sound of hundreds of swords being drawn.
Then chaos sets it. I read once somewhere that you can plan and plan and plan for a battle, but when the battle is there and the fighting begins, all hell breaks loose.
This is exactly what is happening. All I can see are blurs of the Urkai, all I can hear are the screams of the men dying. I fight for my life, like I have never fought before.
Suddenly I feel myself being lifted up and then I am falling, falling, falling. I see the stones of the large wall, and manage to shout "ARAGORN!" before I hit the ground, and then I feel nothing at all.
888
"No! No, no no no!!!"
An angry voice that is all too familiar shouts. I open my eyes and see a very upset Lord Swagathor glaring at me.
"You're not supposed to be here!" He shouted
"Then why did you bring me here?" I shoot back
"I meant to transport Lord Aragorn, but I got you instead." He grumbles
"I have been talking with Lord Saruman all morning, and he was pleased that I was able to capture Aragorn single handedly and even more pleased when I told him I could transport him here. But I got you instead. Great, now I have to get rid of you somehow."
" why didn't you transport him with me?" I ask
He ignores me, something inside me tells me he couldn’t because he isn’t a good enough wizard to transport two people at once, but I keep my opinion to myself.
"Now, we have to decide on what to do with you. I think Lord Saruman would like you to start with the Orc's kitchen, and then move on the dungeon rack, oh, and mopping. This entire fortress needs to be cleaned and mopped. I think that’s a fair punishment, don't you think?"
"Punishment? What did I do?" I ask
"DO? WHAT DID YOU DO? You RUINED everything! You ran away, and brought Aragorn with you, you helped them at Helms Deep and then I transported you instead of Aragorn! Blast you, girl. I'm going to make you pay for what you did. You are going to start cleaning. Right now."
I stare at him with disbelief. He wants to punish me with cleaning? Lord Saruman also has an Orc’s kitchen? I bet it’s filthier than the one in the Tower of Terror.
Swagathor laughs and stands up. "You better get started, I expect it to be clean by morning." then he leaves.
I immediately think of Aragorn and the battle at Helm's Deep. What’s going to happen now? Did Gandalf arrive yet? I look out my window, but it is too dark. I sigh, then stand up, better get to cleaning.
Saruman’s kitchen is dirtier than I expected. Infact, dirty isn't even the right word. More like filthy. The ground has so much dirt, and grease that the soles of my shoes actually stick to it. The table, is covered in scraps of rotting food and the stone oven is so greasy it is black. I sigh, and then get a bucket and a mop. I fill it up with water, and then add lots of powdered soap, and a couple of lemons to make it smell better.
Then I start to work.
I work non-stop until I am exhausted. I have successfully cleaned the floor, chair and table, with soapy lemon water to spare. There is no way to tell time in the kitchen but I feel like it is 3 or 4 in the morning. I set the bucket down on the table and sit down in one of the recently cleaned chairs and close my eyes. I will rest for only a few minutes, then get up and tackle the stove.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, GIRL?"
I jolt awake in my chair and come nose to nose with an extremely angry Swagathor.
"I EXPECTED YOU TO DO A JOB AND YOU DON'T DO IT. YOU DISOBEYED MY ORDERS COMPLETELY. HOW DARE YOU! YOU ARE A COMPLETE EMBARRASSMENT, I’M GOING TO CURSE YOU INTO OBLIVION…."
As he continues to shout at me, I look past him to the window; it is daylight, but something is off, it is too bright outside. Isengard is much brighter than I expected it to be. I step aside the still yelling Swagathor and take a closer look. There is water, everywhere outside, and there are trees, moving!
"YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE YOUNG LADY, I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T GET THIS KITCHEN CLEAN I'M GOING TO CURSE YOU INTO OBLIVION"
His power over my has diminished some, in my head all I hear is "blah blah blah blah" I roll my eyes at him and walk towards the door.
"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING?"
He grabs me by the shoulder and pushed me against the table, I let out a yelp of pain.
"LORD SWAGATHOR, BACK AWAY FROM HER AT ONCE!"
A new, steady voice says. I look past the Swagathor and see a man standing in the kitchen doorway, his is tall and dressed all in white. Standing behind him, is Aragorn. I sigh in relief, he is okay.
Swagathor sees Aragorn as well and turns away from me. He begins walking towards Aragorn, who backs away slightly.
"So, the heir of Isildur has returned, to beg mercy no less? Well he has been greatly mistaken! Nothing can cure him of what ails him!"
He advances towards Aragorn and grabs his arm.
"Saruman will be so pleased to see you IN HIS DUNGEON!”
Aragorn tries to pull away but Swagathor is too strong. He grabs Aragorn's throat roughly and whirls his around towards the back of the kitchen, where (just like in the Tower of Terror) there is a door that leads directly to the dungeon. I know this because there is a sign pointing to the door that says “To the dungeon” in a fancy cursive script.
"Let go of him!" Theodan shouts and he attempts to throw Swagathor off Aragorn but the wizard grabs his staff with his free hand it shoots out a bright green crackling curse. Theodan shrieks, and then yells in surprise as he starts to float.
By this time Swagathor has successfully dragged Aragorn halfway across the kitchen. I have to do something, but what? I have no weapons. My eyes land on the bucket of soapy water. Maybe if I toss it at him he will let go? It's worth a try. I grab the bucket.
"Stop it, stop it I say! Let go of him!" I shout, but he ignores me. Exasperated I toss the bucket with as much force as I can at Swagathor and Aragorn. To my astonishment, it works, Swagathor lets go. Aragorn stumbles away from him, rubbing his eyes, trying to get the soap out.
I am surprised to hear Swagathor whimpering "What have you done to me? Stupid princess! I took you in when nobody wanted you! I gave you a home! And this is how you repay me? Curse you sixteen ways from next Tuesday! May you and your lover boy turn green with blue spots and fall down a flaming bottomless pit with Balrogs at the bottom! Curse you! Curse you all!! AWWWWWHhjdfkjgfjdkghdfjkgjdf………"
I step closer and look at him: He is melting! All three of us watch as the defeated Swagathor yelps and pleads and cries until he is a big puddle of goo.
"What happened to him? Is he dead?" I ask in astonishment, for I had meant to only make him stop harassing Aragorn.
"it seems you have melted him. Swagathor is finally defeated." the man in white replies.
"I’m very grateful you didn't spill any on me. You did very well, Alisada"
I nod thanks.
"Oh, please forgive me, we haven't been introduced. I am Gandalf."
"The moth man. Yes! It’s a pleasure to meet you" I reply, my attention returns to the puddle of what was once Swagathor. It is mixing in with the leftover water has begun draining.
"The filth of Swagathor is finally washing away" Gandalf says happily. I smile, astonished at what I actually did. I turn to Aragorn, who is still trying to get soap out of his eyes.
"Are you okay? I’m sorry I got you wet. But you were in the way." I tell him, Aragorn smiles, and just nods.
He nods, then tries to speak, and to his astonishment, he can but is so surprised all he can make is a gurgling sound and " tankwhoadaaa".
I smile "Wait, try that again." I tell him, and he does and this time he speaks clearly,
"Thank you, Lady Alisada."
I smile broadly back at him.
He then asks me "What was in that water?"
I shrug "Just soap, water and a bit of lemon juice. I needed it to clean out this filthy kitchen. Saruman’s Orcs are messier than Swagathors!"
He raises his eyebrows at me,
"That’s all that was in it?"
"Trust me, if I had known that soap, water and lemon juice could defeat Swagathor I would have used it much earlier."
Suddenly something occurs to me, if Aragorn’s curse had been lifted with the defeat of Swagathor, than maybe…..
I take off my purple glove and point it at the still floating Theodan.
With a yelp he falls to the ground, and turns a very fair shade of pink but does not turn into a coffee mug.
“Well…..it’s a start.” I shrug
Aragorn isn’t paying attention to the now pink Theodan though, he is looking at the gooey brown water than was once Swagathor.
“Do all wizards melt with water, soap and lemon?” he asks Gandalf.
Gandalf nodded, "Only the ones who have gone bad. Unfortunately, Swagathor’s heart had turned so black that something as pure as water melted him."
“Is it permanent?” he asks
"I believe so, unless he has a change of heart in the afterlife, which is unlikely. I’m glad your speaking again Aragorn, these past few days have been exceedingly difficult with your silence. Now you can finally tell me what exactly happened." He puts his hand on Aragorn's shoulder and leads him out of the kitchen, leaving me alone.
I smile to myself, things have been changing an awful lot, but I am so happy I don't care. I look around the kitchen and put the bucket down, there’s no way I am going to clean it.
With Swagathor defeated, I am finally free. I want to go with Aragorn, and Legolas, and Gandalf. They seem like much better company than Swagathor ever was. I stare at the leftover goo of what was once the wizard. He has no more power over me. I leave the kitchen, rejoicing in my new found freedom. In the hallway I run into Aragorn.
"I want to thank you, for all you have done" he says, putting a hand on my shoulder "I don't think I would have succeeded without you, Alisada. You truly have my gratitude, my friend." he tells me and smiles I smile back at him, feeling slight butterflies in my stomach.
"Your welcome, my lord. But I didn't do much. It was you who helped me. Thank you for helping me keep my head at Helms Deep" I tell him " Oh, and it’s nice to finally hear your voice."
He nods "You are a valiant fighter. I have seen many men succumb to fear but none of them have ever beaten it. You are very brave, my lady. Would you like to join me by my side and fight for victory against the armies of Morder?" he asks me.
I nod excitedly, "Yes, I would be honored to join you."
He smiles and takes my hand,
"I'm so glad",
He gently leans forward and kisses me on the forehead.
I finally found my happy ending.