Chapter Text
Athena was, admittedly, quite concerned. Not that she would ever say so out loud. However, two unexpected variables had hit her champion at once when said champion was supposed to be getting home. And while usually she wouldn’t protest a warrior of hers prospering hero acts in her name, she’d rather not have those hero acts involve spiting two other gods at once. Hermes’s prank could wait. For now, she had to focus on the more pressing, likely timed issue, the cyclops. While usually she’d encourage a more cutthroat approach, it appeared like Odysseus had been accepted under Xenia, and ignoring her father’s laws never ends well.
So, leaving Odysseus and his crew to continue their distractions, she flew to Aegae to confront her uncle.
Athena did so detest going to the sea. But, objectively, it is a gorgeous place. A dome prevented mortal pollution from entering the underwater city, and Poseidon had placed a pact of peace upon the area so that no animal would fight and stain the waters within the area. Similar to a human being offered sanctuary in a temple, but for sea creatures.
“Athena.” A gruff voice rumbles from the doorway. Poseidon was leaning against the doorframe, seemingly already irritated by her presence. “Had I been informed of your coming, I would have drained the palace.”
“It is quite alright, uncle.” She replied, bowing her head slightly in greeting. She was here to ask for assistance. And while she does have leverage, so does Poseidon. An equal, more familial approach held the most likely chance of skewing the request in her favor. “It was an oversight on my part, to not message ahead. I came in a hurry.”
“And what could possess you to make such a miscalculation?” Poseidon asks, gesturing for Athena to enter. She does so, offering another nod, this one of gratitude.
“Are you aware of my current champions?”
“The King of Ithaca and the King of Argos, yes?” he listed off.
“Yes,” Athena confirmed. “Well the former has gotten himself into trouble.”
“And you come to me because…?”
“Trouble with one of your monstrous offspring, Polyphemus.”
Poseidon falls silent at that, expression hardening. Athena was grateful he was waiting on elaboration, rather than outright attacking. While it was unclear whether Poseidon cared, it was well known the sea lord is possessive. He wouldn’t take well to hearing a mortal hurt one of his own, especially by his most hated niece.
“No one has been harmed, and according to the account I received, all interactions have been friendly.” She says quickly. “The problem is Polyphemus is holding them captive, a bolder blocking the only entrance and exit. I was hoping you could come with me to discuss with him, as I’d rather avoid angering you.”
“Hm. I can see the logical view. Very well, I’ll join you. Anything else I must know?”
“Yes. There are these…creatures of unidentified origin that seem to have attached themselves to the Ithacan fleet. I do believe it was an act of Hermes though I’ve not confirmed.”
Poseidon hums in acknowledgement. “A prank of such a measure does seem to have Hermes’s marks upon it. Harmless?”
“Seemingly so.”
“Lead the way then, niece.”
—Meanwhile, in the Cave—
Odysseus regretted leaving Quick Thought. Not to say the time frozen realm had given him peace, as apparently the winions could follow him everywhere, but at least in Quick Thought he had been able to relax just a bit, not surrounded by a monster on one side and liabilities on the other. He loves his men, but they are risks. Proven by Amphialos, who was now banned to the corner until they could get out.
Proven by the one laying on top his head. "Your hair is so soft, don’t lose it like you might lose your men." Odysseus elected to ignore the thing.
"Thanks for not killing anyone, Bill and I really appreciate it!"
The winon who helped him out told Polyphemus. …Hm. Now that was an idea. “Any chance you lot could help me out once more?” Odysseus asks the critters surrounding him. He was given a rock.Blue and red for some reason. “Thank you, but I meant help me buy time until my mentor reappears if you could.”
"Hey nobody... Take the cyclops out .. to dinner!!"
Odysseus’s thoughts legitimately derail for a moment. “...No.”
"Oh captain! I got an idea, let's go minions!"
“What?” Was all Odysseus managed.
"WINNIONS! TONIGHT, WE STEAL, THE MOON!!!"
“WHAT???”
Odysseus stared, because that was he could do, as the winions shapeshifted into a woman. No, not a woman, the fins were a dead giveaway to it not being a normal woman. A nymph maybe? Either way, he didn’t like it. They can do that? Whyyy can they do that?? “No, no, no, I’m all for trickery, but I’d rather not get caught lying to a son of Poseidon about…”
“Thoosa, a sea nymph daughter of Phorcys, mother of Polyphemus.”
“Yeah, no.” Odysseus refused, ignoring the uncanny voice that seemed to be of a genuine dame, very uncomfortable. If someone ever pretends to be his mother, or gods forbid Penelope, they wouldn’t survive his fury. “Faking a mother seems like asking for an attack. Anyone else?”
"Jorge would NEVER treat us like this!...Bitch!"
“Don’t know, or care, who that is.”
"Yo captain, I've got an idea."
“What’s your idea, uh,” Odysseus was just going to start giving random names to these things and see if he’s corrected. He glanced around, seeing hints of coral scattered around the cave. He didn’t know their gender, so he’ll have to assume… κοράλλιον is the Hellas word for coral. “Koral?”
He wasn’t corrected, not yet anyway, nor did Koral shapeshift like the others did, so he relaxed minimally.
Apparently, the idea was yet another game. Pat-y-cake? Now, granted, it was the best ‘buy time’ plan they’ve gotten, so Odysseus will take it. Plus, it was a bit amusing to see the tiny critter’s hands clap the giant ones.
He’ll thank them later. For now, a discussion must be had before they need to distract the cyclops once more.
He gathered his men, minus Amphialos, quickly informing them of their current options. Which was, essentially, wait for Athena’s rescue. Not ideal, but at least they wouldn’t get any enemies from it.
“We’re trusting a god?” Eurylous questions, and though understandable, it still annoyed Odysseus. “Captian, are you sure you wish to place our fates upon such-”
He was bonked in the head by a winion while another on his head said to, “have more faith in your captain, seeing as he kept you guys alive for this long.”
“Thank you.” Odysseus nodded gracefully at the winion before addressing his men again. “Yes, it is not ideal we must rely on another’s assistance. However, fighting will also not prove ideal, especially since we are guests. Currently, we must buy time. Any ideas?”
"Waitinggg waitingggg." A winon sing-songs, and is pointedly ignored.
“We still have plenty of stories to go around if it comes down to it.” Polites offered.
“That’s good, but won’t last us forever. We’ve already gone through more than half. Anything else?”
“Lullabies?” Perimedes asked.
Odysseus hummed in consideration. A mix of the spiked wine and lullabies would put the one eyed giant right to sleep, then they could focus on finding a lever or something… “Any lullaby ideas?”
""Ashes ashes, they all will drown,"
"The cyclops is sad,"
"The sea god is mad,"
"Ashes ashes, they all will drown!"
"Oh hush little baby dont you cry, nothing will be end alright, you'll go through trauma and more trauma and you just might not survive."
“Those were awful and I hated them.” Odysseus said to the critters bluntly. Polites gave him a disapproving look, but it isn’t his fault the winona are so…death happy.
"You are the monster rawr rawr rawr.”
“Are they,” Elpenor hesitantly asks, “chanting?”
Odysseus glanced behind him. "You are the monster rah rah rah!"
“…Yes.” He deadpanned. “It seems they are.”
One of them went up to him, one eye purple the other blue with a strange hat said, with strange menace, “Twenty years. Simp.”
"Cyclops stabbing simp," another one nods.
And now they were all chanting "Simp," along with…whatever shanty that was. And two were fighting over…petrochemical? Eyes, whatever that means. Is that Koral? Maybe he should leave the naming to someone else before he gets attached to these weirdos.
Fortunately, the weird distraction was broken up by an unnatural woosh, signaling divine entry.
Athena, Odysseus acknowledges, relieved.
“Father!” Polyphemus chirped and Odysseus was less relieved.
He thought for a moment. He didn’t know Poseidon very well, but they’d been on the same side during the war according to Athena, and, as far as he is aware, he nor his men has done anything that would have angered the ocean king in any way. Plus, if Athena brought her uncle, he was likely to be safe. She used rough methods sometimes, but that was her duty as a teacher, and she wouldn’t go so far as to lead such a threat directly to her students. Probably. Hopefully.
A tap on his shoulder distracted him. "Athena appreciates you, she just doesn't know it yet!...give it like...10 years....patience is a virtue....or something...."
“…thanks.” He sighs. Appreciates him? A mortal? Yeah right. It was sweet of the critter to attempt to cheer him up at least, even if Odysseus calls bs, and was now quite reasonably concerned about if they could read his mind or not. Thankfully, the two gods, finally taking upon physical manifestations, suitably distracted nearly everyone.
"I hope thou enjoyeth the taste of lightning! The price will be half-off a decade from now." A winon boldly told Athena, making every mortal wince.
“Who is that?” Odysseus hissed.
“They said their name is Gentle.” Euryloucus shrugs.
“Doesn’t seem very gentle to me.” Odysseus muttered.
“I see what the issue is.” Poseidon mutters to his niece as yet another…creature walks up to her.
"Polites to Ody is like Pallas to you. He is being a great warrior of the mind."
Oof. Athena grit her teeth. “I’m killing Hermes for this.”
A fair reaction, Odysseus can’t help but think with a wince as Poseidon went to talk to his son.
It was pretty clear negotiations weren’t going well, as Polyphemus didn’t want his ‘friends’ to leave. Odysseus wasn’t even surprised when he felt a tug on his chiton.
“I got you a gift! I pulled it off the big scary club that poly… poly… polyester guy hid over there!”
Odysseus blinked. A bat. Now that’s useful. “Thank you.” He says, a smile growing on his lips. That solves the lever problem. “Can you put it under the big rock over there, where light comes in?”
Watching the critter do so was incredibly satisfying. Scrap, Odysseus decided their name was. They were his new favorite.
“My Lord!” He called out respectfully, arms open in a placating gesture. Both gods, and the monster looks over at him, falling silent. Athena believed in her mortals learning for themselves, so Odysseus couldn’t completely rely on her help or he’s not worthy of her patronage. “I believe a deal would work best in this situation.”
“What kind of deal?” The cyclops asked, tilting his head.
“A gift and a game.” Odysseys answered smoothly. “I offer a bottle of our best wine, and, if we win a game of riddles, you release us. Is that fair?”
Polyphemus considered the mortal for a moment before ultimately nodding. “Deal. Give me.”
Odysseus’s smile widens. "Great job you're a liar!" He punted the cheerful, snitch of a winion, and pulled out the spiked drink. Every time he starts to like these little shits.
Poseidon narrowed his eyes, annoyed, but did not put a stop to the act as his son drank the offered bottle and fell to the ground. Odysseus knew the Lord of Tides was petty, and would not let such a thing go, but he was hoping the lack of permanent harm would make it light.
He was pretty sure the bat and the boulder were lighter thanks to the divine presences, but he was hardly going to complain about it.
“Odysseus.” Poseidon interrupted before the crew left. “You drugged my child.”
“Uncle-” Athena starts to protest, being stopped by the older god holding up a hand.
“I’m not going to do anything bad.” He reassured. “I am, however, going to throw your crew slightly off track. You need to restock the food supply anyway, no?”
“That is correct, my Lord.” Odysseus answers quickly. “That is an equitable punishment, thank you.”
With that settled, Odysseus and his crew finally managed to return to their fleet. The wooden floors, for once, were quite a relieving sight and feel.
“Wait if no one dies does that mean I don't get to see Ody hunt the bastar- i mean suitors? But that was my favorite part!"
Odysseus sighed. Even now, the winions don’t leave him be. “I appreciate the thought..."
"Ruth."
"Ruth. But I don’t wish to disrespect hospitality laws by harming such men. It is reasonable for Ithaca’s vassal isles to send suitors to the palace, even if I hate it.”
"Antinous is really interfering with your son's life, do you still not want to feed him to Scylla?"
"Out of all 108 suitors, Antinous alone is his own warning."
…Okay. Concerning. “I will see for myself, and if what you say proves more than true, I will deal with them.” Odysseus amends.
"You're so much better than the orginial Ody." A different one pat his shoulder as they spoke.
"Thank...you?"
“Captain!” Macareus shouted out, interrupting the conversation. “Storm, incoming!”
Odysseus looked up. Sure enough, clouds were darkening. Poseidon was sending them off.