Chapter Text
Icy cold windowpanes met Kou Minamoto’s fingertips.
It was early winter, around the start of December and he just wanted to go home.
Actually… No, he didn’t.
Christmas break would be coming up soon enough, and the poor blond would have to leave his boyfriend alone with the weirdo-school-wonders the whole Christmas season.
Even worse, Kou would have to spend time with his family.
The glass began to sting at his lanky fingers, ushering him to pull away from it.
The young blond sighed and let his hand linger for a few seconds more, eventually pulling away with a lazy frown on his face.
“Minamoto, would you read the next chapter? We’re on page sixteen-”
“Yeah, I know.”
Kou stood up,empty inside, and started reading in monotone.
Kou hadn’t cooked in a while. Their house hadn’t been cleaned by him recently either.
With his new therapy schedules, it was getting pretty hard to find time to do housework in between his schoolwork, therapy, christmas shopping, and taking care of himself (by his brother's force).
He felt pathetic again, the gloomy weather really was getting the worst out of him.
He didn’t even have time to hang out with Mitsuba as much anymore.
It was almost as if Teru had scheduled his therapy as soon as he possibly could to the time when Kou’s school usually got out.
Fuck Teru-nii.
(fuck yeah, you tell em’ kou!)
Kou groaned and rolled over onto his side. His bedroom was also quite a disaster; dirty clothes lined every inch of his floor, schoolwork and books were scattered carelessly across the filthy space-almost mocking him in some off-putting way.
The dark lighting from his extinguished light-bulbs, and closed curtains didn’t help his growing upset mood either.
It’s too bad that Teru was actually somewhat of a smart guy.
He’d hidden Kou’s depression meds-and all other semi-deadly medicines in the house (other than cold medicine)-in his room, in an attempt to keep his younger brother away from suicide attempts.
He still made the younger boy take the depression meds though, what a pain.
Kou rolled over on his futon again. It was a shame that he couldn't see Mitsuba until god knows when.
Kou was getting impatient.
Therapy wasn’t helping Kou, in-fact, it was visibly making him worse; If you were to ask Kou’s teachers, friends, counselors, anybody-they’d agree with you, with little to no hesitation.
No longer did the boy smile brightly.
No longer did he hide his scars and cuts.
No longer did he talk to himself in the hallways and bathrooms.
He just sat at the back of the room and looked out a window tiredly.
“...Mitsuba…”
Small whispers would escape his lips occasionally, not the same as his usual ‘talking to himself’ more so sounding as if he were saying a name, or maybe a prayer.
“Yes, Kou-kun?” Pink hair abruptly obscured Kou’s view of the outside gate, shocking him and causing him to shriek and fall out of his chair.
“Minamoto, are you alright…?” Asked his teacher, slowly lowering the book the class had been reading along to. A shocked and concerned look was painted across the old man's face, but a sense of relief pinched at his lips as well.
“Uraugh-uh… Oh, uh y-yeah, um can I- Uh can I go to the restroom?” Kou choked out, still stunned by his jumpscare moments before.
“Uh… Yeah, maybe you should stop by the nurses office as well… Just take the hall pass with you…”
“Thank-you!” Kou blurted as he grabbed the awkward wooden brick and scurried out of the classroom.
“You fucking scared me!” Kou hissed, crouching down on the floor of the hallway, Mitsuba standing smugly in front of him.
“Sorryy~” The pink boy smirked.
Mitsuba sunk down to meet Kou’s (quite flustered) face.
“You just looked really depressed, and ya’ called for me, and well… I just haven't seen you in a while,” his voice didn’t try to hide the concern he felt; Kou’s heart stung every time Mitsuba let his real emotions slip.
Kou looked into his lover's eyes.
Silence held out for what felt like eternity.
Kou finally spoke up, mumbling something so incoherent, not even Mitsuba could understand him.
The pink boy narrowed his eyes and poked Kou’s cheek aggressively, "Speak up, I can't hear-”
“Why won't you let me die and be with you?”
Mitsuba’s eyes widened.
“Huh?-”
“Why won’t you let me grant your wish?”
“Wh-what wish, Kou, you're going insane-” Mitsuba tried, but was cut off by Kou violently grabbing Mitsuba's arms and forcing him to the floor.
“Owch… Ow! K-kou s-stop! S-stop it! It hurts, Kou, stop-p--OW-!” Mitsuba squinted his eyes in pain, his face contorting from the forceful grip digging into his skin–even through the thick fabric of his iconic pink sweater.
“K-Kou-u…?” his lips trembled, he was in so much pain.
A cold, singular tear splashed onto his pale face.
Then another.
The tears kept coming. It weakened Mitsuba’s heart, he couldn’t fight against a crying, openly feeling Kou…
His heart forced Mitsuba to endure the pain–begging him to endure the stabbing sensation in his weak arms.
Kou was relentlessly sobbing, nose running violently, and red obscuring his freckled cheeks, his grip was stuttering, loosening enough to let Mitsuba escape–If the pinkette planned on it anyways… But, he didn't.
He let Kou take out his pain on him.
He’d let the world burn for Kou, just as Kou would light the world on fire for him.
Mitsuba snuck a glance up at the boy who was pinning him to the ground.
He wanted to at least stare into Kou’s electric sea colored eyes-but they were gone. They’d been replaced with a hazy, not-all-there, glassy midnight blue. All happiness and compassion that once carried the boy was gone. Even if Mitsuba searched for days, he wouldn’t find a single sparkle in Kou’s eyes. It was as if he was blank. He looked… Dead.
Empty.
Kou had stopped crying. It looked like he stopped feeling.
“Kou-?”
“Huh-?!” The color returned to Kou’s eyes, and evidently, his face too. The blond practically jumped off of Mitsuba, horrified, his eyes wide in terror. “Oh. My. God.” He gawked at Mitsuba, slowly scooting away.
He looked down at his hands, then at Mitsuba's arms.
The pinkette looked down at his arms as well, just then noticing the deep crimson color of blood coating the spots where Kou’s nails had been digging through him.
Both of the boys’s eyes widened to the point it looked like they’d pop out.
“Oh my fucking- god…” Kou’s voice stuttered and he flinched when Mitsuba started to move towards him. “Holy shit- I-I HURT YOU! S-Stay b-back, I-I hurt you, oh god…”
Kou covered his mouth and scrambled up to his feet, shaking violently. He inched away from Mitsuba.
“Kou, it’s okay, you didn’t mean it-”
“N-No I hurt you!” Kou swallowed and stumbled backwards on shaky feet, further away from his boyfriend.
“Kou I swear, I’m fine, I-I’m dead-! R-remember?!” Mitsuba smiled awkwardly at the disturbed blond. “I-It’s okay-y I promise…”
Kou shook his head hesitantly, his adams apple bobbing sadly in his throat as he swallowed. He looked terrified, and rightfully so.
“Mitsuba… I hurt- I- I just need to go lay down!” Kou bolted away from the stammering bleeding weak pink boy, tears streaming down his face again.
Mitsuba winced as Kou rounded the corner, dropping his weak attempt to hold it together for the blond boy. His arms ached, the pain had heightened with the knowledge of his bleeding.
Oh god he was bleeding.
Oh god he made Kou cry.
TWICE!
Oh shit… How does one even recover from something like this?!-
“So number three.”
Mitsuba's eyes darted up rapidly.
He was met with Teru Minamoto's striking blue eyes.
“We need to talk about Kou.”