Chapter Text
It had been a rough couple of weeks for Ilya. They had almost made it to the championship, and it had slipped through their fingers due to bad luck. His mental health had been less than excellent, and with a new (perfect absolutely incredible no complaints) member of their household who was a bit more energetic than the rest of them, no one had slept much. Shane had been away more than Ilya would have liked, doing a bajillion photo-shoots for so many different sponsorships. The money was nice but it wasn’t like they needed it and Ilya could have used a few hours in his husband's arms with no pressure to get up and do anything.
Which was to say Ilya was really really looking forward to this bath. When they had bought this house he had teased Shane about the size of the bathtub, a monstrous thing that two grown men could fit in and still be comfortable. Honestly it was almost a hot tub. But now he was appreciating it. Deeply. He began filling the tub with hot steaming water, a typical nono for professional athletes, Ilya didn’t really understand the science behind it but he did know that it was one rule Shane told him to actually follow. But in the post season, he was able to indulge. He had even gotten bubble bath. He wasn’t really sure what bubble bath was, but Hayden’s daughters had insisted that all baths be taken with bubble bath. Ruby and Jade were pretty smart, after all they had officiated Shane and Ilya’s first wedding. So he was willing to take their word for it.
The label on the bottle was much too small for him to read, but he figured the bathtub was so large that he might as well dump the whole thing in. As he did so Albert scampered into the room. He and Anya had become accustomed to one another with unbelievable speed. Shane and Ilya had tried to take it slow and introduce them the proper way, but Anya would lay outside Albert's room all hours of the day whining. Now the two of them could be found curled up with each other most of the time. It was so insanely cute Ilya wanted to take a picture each time it happened. The only problem was that Anya had various large patches of black on her, and Albert was monochromatic. So often in the picture it looked like Anya was just sleeping on her own. Simply tragic. Harris had referred to this as the void kitty effect. Which was almost as baffling as bubble bath.
Ilya sent a quick text to Shane to let him know the bath was ready before beginning to strip. As he pulled his shirt over his head, he felt something soft curling around his feet. He looked down to see Albert, who was staring up at him with massive yellow eyes. Albert squeaked out a meow and Ilya was temporarily distracted by the little kitten. It was insane to see how much Albert had grown in the last few weeks. He was almost double the size he had been when they had found him, and the vets said he was going to be a very large young man.
Ilya wondered if he could bring him to practice one day and leave him with Harris while the team was on the ice. He made a mental note to text his friend before removing the rest of his clothing. Shane’s footfalls began to climb the stairs as Ilya stepped into the tub. Albert yowled at the loss of one of his humans, but eagerly ran over to great Shane when he walked in. Shane let out a quiet curse as he almost tripped over the cat while staring at Ilya. Ilya smirked. Delightfully Ilya noted that Shane had a beverage in either hand, he was really hoping it was one of the recipes Kip had ‘borrowed’ from his old job and not a Shane original. Ilya loved him so much, they were working on his food habits though.
The tub was almost overflowing with bubbles, but it was deliciously warm when Ilya sat down. Shane crossed the room carefully, trying not to spill any of the drinks. Unfortunately Albert seemed to think this was a challenge. Graceful off the ice, Shane was not. He managed to make it to the bath in one piece, but it was a near thing. He handed Ilya his drink, and Ilya was deeply grateful, for once in his life, to Scott Hunter, because it was delicious.
Shane placed his own drink on the ledge in the wall before removing and folding all his clothing. Even years later Ilya was so charmed by this quirk. Shane stepped into the tub with an appreciated sigh, that Ilya fully agreed with. He raised his goblet to tease Shane about something when Albert wailed. He was sitting just outside of the tub, howling.
Shane stuck his hand over the edge of the tub to reassure him, but Albert's sounds had clearly set off Anya who came running in to check on her new friend.
“Shhh!” Shane said, trying to calm down the cat. Albert stood on his hind legs to peak over the top, sniffing curiously at the bubbles. Ilya scooped up a handful to let the little kitten examine them at closer range. So much for a quiet moment with Shane, not that he minded, he doubted he would ever be upset by sharing Shane with these two.
Albert hesitantly examined the offered handful of suds. When this was deemed no longer of interest Ilya returned them to the top of the soapy mountain. He realized that he basically couldn’t see Shane unless he leaned around outside the tub. Albert let out a sad little meow.
“So maybe too many bubbles.” Ilya joked and returned to sipping his drink.
“Ilya!” Shane exclaimed with more emotion than Ilya was expecting for such a little thing, not realizing he was trying to warn him. Four pounds of black fur landed right in the middle of the bubble mountain, and immediately disappeared.
Utter chaos ensued. Shane quickly dipped his hands into the water, dropping his glass and spilling green smoothie all across the floor, but he scooped up a sopping wet Albert within moments. Ilya also panicked and pulled the plug out of the bathtub, terrified that Albert wouldn’t be able to swim. Anya started howling and took a running leap into the tub, which while spacious was not meant for two grown men, a fully grown dog, and an angry kitten.
Shane lept from the tub, a rather bold move in Ilya’s opinion given that he was, as previously mentioned, not very graceful, and carrying a miserable kitten. But he made it to the towel rack and began to dry off Albert to the best of his ability.
“Ilya, can you check if the bubble bath is safe for pets?” Shane asked, sounding so so nervous.
Ilya cursed himself for not thinking about this, but then again, if children could use it why not pets? Why did they even make products that weren't alcoholic that were dangerous for kids and animals. He leapt out of the tub, scooping Anya up and depositing her by Shane to also be dried off. She, as most dogs would do in that situation, shook herself, soaking them once again, and scampered off to get soap all across the house. He heard one of her squeaky toys a few moments later and assumed she at least was no worse for wear from this incident.
The stupid bubble bath label was still tiny and impossible to read, so he carried it over to Shane and took over scrubbing Albert, who was largely as dry as they were going to get him. He supposed it was lucky that the kitten wasn’t inclined towards clawing them for all these indignities. But Albert was a fairly even tempered cat, so he just made more sad meowing sounds.
“There you go buddy.” Ilya said, tucking Albert into a new dry towel and cuddling him up to his chest.
Shane's shoulders slumped with relief, “its fine. Thank goodness.” He shook the bottle once, “did you put the entire thing in?”
Ilya looked up at him confused, “yes?”
Shane looked at him aghast, “Ilya it says to use one cap full!”
“The writing is tiny, I cannot read it! English is already a very ugly looking language!”
Shane shot him a look, and Ilya realized they were both completely naked, romantic moments ruined, with smoothies all over the floor and Anya making a mess downstairs and he started laughing. Shane looked at him baffled for a moment before he joined in.
“Well. I guess next time we will try to keep them outside for bath time.” Ilya muttered.
“Why did you even jump in?” Shane asked, walking over to scratch Albert's head.
“Maybe he was worried about us under all the bubbles.”
“And whose fault is that?”
Ilya squinted at the artistically looping script on the bottle. “Mr. Bubble’s?”
“Well then. Mr. Bubble better be helping me clean all this up.”
“Oh you know he will.”
"You are never going to be in charge of bath time for the girls." Shane couldn't resist having the last word. But his words just made Ilya happier, because if Shane started making jokes about that future children that meant he had a full alphabetized plan for those future kids.
Ilya smiled and gently kissed Shane with Albert between them. At least their lives were never boring.