Chapter Text
Akaashi has added Atsumu
Akaashi:
Congratulations on becoming the captain of Inarizaki, Atsumu
Shirabu:
Oh fuck no
Yahaba:
I know this isn't in your vocabulary but be nice
Shirabu:
To him?
That's like asking me to praise Goshiki
Yahaba:
Which is fully within your limits to do so?
Shirabu:
Fuck no
Atsumu:
hey im a delight to be with
Shirabu:
I think I'm going to throw up
Atsumu:
and thanks akaashi
i didn't expect it
so is everyone here setters
Kenma:
nearly
its only ennoshita
Ennoshita:
Hi I'm the captain of Karasuno, Ennoshita Chikara!
Nice to meet you
Atsumu:
nice to meet ya too
atsumu miya, the better twin
Shirabu:
The more you say it, the less I believe it
Atsumu:
it's a fact of life
and ya've never even met samu before
Shirabu:
I don't have to
Yahaba:
Technically, Kenma and Akaashi have
Atsumu:
what
when
why have i never heard of this
Yahaba:
You have though?
That incident with Sakusa-san in the setter's chat
Akaashi:
Oh
He and Suna-san simply laughed when it happened
Kenma:
mood
Yahaba:
Well
Ennoshita:
I'm feeling kind of lost
Atsumu:
its nothing!!!
nothing at all
Shirabu:
Atsumu mistook Komori-san, Sakusa's cousin, as his lover instead and made a fool of himself in public
And then left the setter's chat out of sheer embarrassment
Oh because he's in denial about his crush on Sakusa-san
Atsumu:
okay WHAY RHE FUCK
i DO NOT like omi
Yahaba:
I saw that coming
Ennoshita:
Omi?
Akaashi:
It's his nickname, among others, for Sakusa Kiyoomi
Atsumu:
wow
all of ya sure are airing out my dirty laundry
Shirabu:
And I'd do it again
Ennoshita:
One of the top high school aces?
I mean
When you put it like that
Atsumu:
no i do not like omi
why would i like him
Kenma:
he's objectively hot
Atsumu:
uh no
he looks ridiculous
Shirabu:
You look ridiculous with that horrific shade of hair
Atsumu:
uncalled for??
Ennoshita:
Hmm, from what I know of Sakusa-san, he seems pretty introverted and keeps to himself a lot
But he's an extremely talented spiker, according to Kageyama
Atsumu:
he's fucking mean
and rude
and a menace to society
Yahaba:
You're not denying the extremely talented spiker part
Atsumu:
he's
average
Shirabu:
Did your nose grow longer when you typed that out
Atsumu:
just say ya hate me???
Shirabu:
I do
Atsumu:
wow
Shirabu:
You're probably going to set for him one day
Atsumu:
no fucking way
don't curse me like that
Akaashi:
Hmm, I'd like to try setting for Sakusa-san
Kenma:
me too
Yahaba:
He seems like he'd be interesting to set for
Ennoshita:
Uh I'd want to see one of his matches live
Atsumu:
???
NOBODY is setting for omi
Akaashi:
That's quite the contradiction
Atsumu:
akaashi please
Kenma:
appealing to keiji is useless
he’s in it for the drama
Atsumu:
he’s what
Yahaba:
He’s not some angel you know
Akaashi:
Ah of course I’m not
Kenma:
he’s as bad as suga
Ennoshita:
Yeah
Suga-san looks like an angel but he’s not
Atsumu:
okay so that’s a terrifying thing to learn about
Akaashi:
They’re exaggerating
Kenma:
no
Ennoshita:
Circling back
Why doesn’t Atsumu-kun like Sakusa-san?
Shirabu:
No he does
Yahaba:
He just doesn’t want to admit it
Atsumu:
do they actually hate each other
Akaashi:
No, they’re good friends
Shirabu:
Fake
Yahaba:
Bitch just accept it
Shirabu:
Fuck you
Kenma:
why else would he have throw a tantrum
Yahaba:
I can’t get over it
Thinking Komori-san is Sakusa-san’s lover, I mean
Atsumu:
IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE
THEY LOOK NOTHING ALIKE
Akaashi:
That’s true
They really do look different
Ennoshita:
Komori Motoya is Itachiyama’s libero, right?
Oh
I wouldn’t have been able to tell that they’re cousins
Atsumu:
and sunarin knew too
but the asshole didn’t say anything
Shirabu:
Can we kick Atsumu out and add Suna instead
Atsumu:
sunarin would eat ya alive
Akaashi:
Or maybe they’d get along
Atsumu:
that’s stuff from my nightmares
yeah no ya ain’t meeting sunarin
Yahaba:
He’ll find out anyway
Probably
Shirabu:
Hm
Kenma:
ominous
-
Atsumu:
I HAVE A JOINT INTERVIEW WITH OMI
FUCK MY LIFE
Akaashi:
Oh?
Yahaba:
Why the two of you
Akaashi:
Likely because they are the top few setters and spikers
Atsumu:
my life is over
Shirabu:
So dramatic
Atsumu:
can ya imagine if this was ya
Shirabu:
But it isn’t
Atsumu:
why’d i come here
Yahaba:
When’s the interview?
Atsumu:
in a week
cuz we have a practice match against em
Kenma:
don’t be gay on tv
Atsumu:
oh fuck ya
that ain’t possible
Kenma:
you never know
Atsumu:
fuck ya and your weird mysterious thingy
Kenma:
i have a boyfriend
Akaashi:
We get it Kenma
Ennoshita:
We get it
Yahaba:
Gotta say it’s pretty good
Shirabu:
I will shove your team photo up your ass
Yahaba:
The fuck leave my photos alone??
And didn’t you basically get confessed to?
Ennoshita:
You what
Kenma:
?
Atsumu:
what
Shirabu:
It’s not my fault he’s a coward
Yahaba:
Or you could contact him like a normal fucking person
Shirabu:
No
Yahaba:
Why do I even bother
Atsumu:
wow this is who’s making fun of me?
Shirabu:
Have you seen yourself
Atsumu:
im perfect whaddya mean
Ennoshita:
Back to the topic
What will the interview be about?
Atsumu:
fuck if i know
i stopped listening after when it’s gonna be
Shirabu:
Point proven
Kenma:
it’s probably about normal vb stuff
Yahaba:
If they can stop arguing for five minutes
Akaashi:
That’s a tall order
Atsumu:
i can absolutely go five minutes without arguing with omi
Shirabu:
You’ll get cursed like Pinocchio with the amount of lies you’re spouting
Atsumu:
fuck no
i’ll prove it
Akaashi:
We’ll be waiting
-
Shirabu:
(video: taken from a three-quarters angle, it showed Atsumu and Sakusa, both sweaty and tired, standing in front of a camera and a lady with a microphone. Sakusa was wiping his face with a towel while Atsumu polished off nearly a whole bottle of water.
Interviewer: Miya-san, have you ever wanted to set for Sakusa-san?
Atsumu: (pretends to consider for a few seconds) Nah, that’d be a waste of my hard-earned skills.
Sakusa: (cutting in before the interviewer could speak) That’s fine. I doubt he’d be able to keep up with me anyway.
Atsumu: Ya think what? I kept up with ya throughout that whole match, Omi. That’s just bullshit.
Sakusa: Barely.
Atsumu: Oh ya—
They dissolve into arguing, Sakusa cold and sharp, Atsumu fiery and loud. The interviewer looks flustered, glancing between the two of them. The video cuts.)
Yahaba;
That’s barely one question
Shirabu:
Congrats, at least they didn’t start arguing the moment they were next to each other
Ennoshita:
That might be because they just played five sets
Then again that never seemed to stop Kageyama and Hinata’s arguments
Yahaba:
My condolences for having them as your kouhai
Ennoshita:
It’s alright, I’ve gotten used to it
Akaashi
Looking at them next to each other, they are quite opposite in the way they act
Yahaba:
I bet Atsumu was trying to rile up Sakusa-san
Atsumu;
WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THTA
Shirabu:
I have my sources
Obviously
Atsumu:
i’m gonna kill sunarin
later
he’s in samu’s room
Yahaba:
And?
Atsumu:
i don’t wanna scar my eyes
Kenma: replying to ‘i can absolutely go…’
five seconds
Atsumu:
he started it
Shirabu:
You said, and I quote, ‘setting for him would be a waste of my hard-earned skills’
Atsumu:
it would!
i was being honest
ya know, like ya wanted
Ennoshita:
That was the trigger for your argument, though
Atsumu:
no it wasnt
he’s the one who insulted me
Ennoshita:
After you said that?
Atsumu:
yeah and
Shirabu:
No wonder Sakusa-san dislikes you so much
Atsumu:
fuck ya mean by that
Akaashi:
Is it safe to assume the interview will be scrapped?
Atsumu:
yeah
Akaashi:
Pity
-
Kenma:
are you going to do it
keiji:
Yes, soon
-
Akaashi:
I have recently obtained the number of a captain from another school
Shirabu:
Fuck no not again
Yahaba:
Wow you sound so terribly excited
Who is it?
Akaashi has added Sakusa
Yahaba:
Oh
Ennoshita:
Is this a good idea, Akaashi?
Shirabu:
I take back what I said
I want to see this
Akaashi:
It’ll be fine
Hopefully
Ennoshita:
Hello?
Sakusa-san?
Sakusa:
What is this
Ennoshita:
Welcome!
It’s a captain's chat
Sakusa:
I’m only here because Motoya made me
Kenma:
real
Ennoshita:
Should we do some introductions?
Sakusa:
No
I don’t care either way
Yahaba:
Oh so he’s a different kind of asshole from Shirabu
Shirabu:
Bitch square the fuck up
Yahaba:
No
Ennoshita:
Well
Atsumu:
SAMU ATE THE LAST COOKIE
this is because i ate the last ice cream isn’t it??
karma i tell ya
this ain’t fair
?
hello??
Sakusa left the chat
Akaashi added Sakusa
Sakusa left the chat
Akaashi added Sakusa
Akaashi:
Sorry, Sakusa-san, but Komori-san said you must stay for a minimum of three days
Sakusa:
You don’t have to listen to him
Akaashi:
Ah but I do owe him
Atsumu:
what the fuck
WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE
Ennoshita:
Because this is a captains chat and we’re all captains
Atsumu:
who died and made him captain
Yahaba:
I’ll take a wild guess
His senpai gaduated?
Atsumu:
fuck no
he’ll taint the purity of this chat
Sakusa:
I’m still here, if you weren’t aware
And if anything, it would be your presence that’s a stain on this chat
Atsumu:
fuck ya
Sakusa:
No, it would be a waste of my time
Atsumu:
this is for that interview isn’t it
omi i knew ya remembered
Ennoshita:
I can’t tell if they hate each other or not
Sakusa:
You’re severely mistaken if you think the world revolves around you
Atsumu:
admit it omi
ya think about me
Sakusa:
About how I would beat your team in the next match, yes
Atsumu:
ohh fuck ya
that last practice match was bullshit
Sakusa:
You’re just sore that you lost
Atsumu:
no i want a rematch
ya cheated
Sakusa:
Very mature of you
Yahaba:
This is relatively okay?
Like it’s not that different from Shirabu and Semi-san talk
Shirabu:
We don’t talk like that
Yahaba:
Yeah, because you barely text at all
Akaashi:
I admit I expected it to be worse
But I suppose this is a good thing
Sakusa:
I still want to leave
Akaashi:
Unfortunately, you’re stuck with us for the next two days
Kenma:
one for all all for one
Sakusa:
I hate it here
-
Yahaba:
So one of my kouhai rammed another into a wall
Akaashi:
Are they alright?
Yahaba:
The one who did it is fine
The one who got rammed is not
Akaashi:
What happened?
Yahaba:
Hell if I know
From what I heard, apparently they were arguing and it escalated
The ramming was on accident though
Apparently
Shirabu:
They're continuing the tradition
Yahaba:
Will you ever drop that
Shirabu:
No
Atsumu:
id do that to omi in a heartbeat
Sakusa:
Like a child at a playground
Atsumu:
fuck did ya call me
Sakusa:
Your eyesight is deteriorating if you couldn’t read that
Kenma:
why did yaku leave
i’m going to lock lev out of the gym
Akaashi:
You said you’d do your best and try
Kenma:
you said that
not me
Shirabu:
Fuck my kouhai
Yahaba:
You just have it out for Goshiki
Shirabu:
As I fucking should
Ennoshita:
Are my kouhai the only normal ones?
Even Kageyama and Hinata are getting along better now
Yahaba:
We’re still beating you to go to Nationals
Ennoshita:
Keep hoping
If you hope long enough, maybe it’ll come true
Shirabu:
Fuck you two it’s going to be Shiratorizawa
Atsumu:
pfft doesn’t matter none of ya are making it past inarizaki
Ennoshita:
We did it before and we’ll do it again
Atsumu:
not this time
we’ve got ya all figured out
Kenma:
^
Akaashi:
No team politics in the chat
Atsumu:
yeah yeah killjoy
nothing to say omi?
Sakusa:
This debate is meaningless
We'll win anyway
Atsumu:
no way
inarizaki’s got ya this time
Shirabu:
Delusions are a sign of illness
Everyone has been muted for five minutes
Atsumu:
dang it kaashi-kun i had a good comeback
Akaashi:
It will happen again
Atsumu:
fine fine
-
Atsumu:
at least i know how to interact with people
and not look at them like their dirt on my shoe
Sakusa:
You should look at your own grammar first before looking at others
Atsumu:
fuck ya bitch
we all know what i mean
Sakusa:
With the way you translate your accent into your texts, I doubt it
Atsumu:
go fuck yerself
my accent’s fuckin great
Sakusa:
Did your fangirls tell you that?
Admiration make people view the world through rose-tinted glasses
Though I pity the people that admire you
Ennoshita:
Alright timeout
Sakusa has been kicked from the chat
Atsumu has been kicked from the chat
Ennoshita:
They’ve been going at it for two hours
Do they not have other things to do
Shirabu:
If they’ve got so much time to argue, they can go and practice
Yahaba:
Not everyone has unhealthy habits like you
That aside
Is it just me or does Sakusa-san really only respond to Atsumu in the chat?
Akaashi:
I’ve noticed that too
Yahaba:
So that at least means he tolerates Atsumu the most out of all of us
Ennoshita:
That’s a surprise
For how much they say they hate each other, they’ve got no qualms interacting for more than two hours
Kenma:
a quarter of it wasn’t really arguing
Yahaba:
So they don’t hate each other?
Akaashi:
It’s difficult to tell, but it seems to at least be out of the realm of extreme hate now
Shirabu:
Isn’t today the third day
Yahaba:
Oh yeah
Maybe they won’t notice
Akaashi has added Atsumu
Akaashi has added Sakusa
Sakusa:
It’s been three days
I don’t have to be here
Sakusa has left the chat
Shirabu:
You were saying
Yahaba:
Yeah yeah
-
Atsumu:
ive been thinkin about it
Shirabu:
What a shocker
Atsumu:
fuck ya
anyway
i think i have a crush on omi
Yahaba:
What
Ennoshita:
Uh congrats?
Shirabu:
Ew
Kenma:
?
Akaashi:
Oh?
Atsumu:
what the fuck
why did that summon all of ya
Shirabu:
Because we’ve been waiting for fucking ever
Atsumu:
did everybody know except me
Yahaba:
Yeah
Akaashi:
I could guess
Kenma:
ye
Ennoshita:
Yeah?
Shirabu:
Obviously
Atsumu:
this is betrayal
yer all on my blacklist
Ennoshita:
At least you've made the realisation?
And aren't definitely stuck in a one-sided crush?
Atsumu:
wow who hurt ya
Ennoshita:
We're not talking about this
Yahaba:
Oh we will
Later
But congrats Atsumu
Shirabu:
Congrats you're not an absolute idiot with the emotional range of a teaspoon
Akaashi:
Congratulations, Atsumu
Kenma:
congrats
Ennoshita:
Congratulations!
Atsumu:
thanks
Akaashi:
How did it happen?
Atsumu:
sunarin pointed out how much time i spend talkin bout him
and then i realised that he's actually
unfortunately
very hot
and awkward
and he's nice
sometimes
Yahaba:
Uh you get points for that I guess
Atsumu:
then i crashed out for three days
Ennoshita:
Ah I was wondering why it was so quiet
Atsumu:
boo
i know ya missed me
Shirabu:
The fact that you could see past your own ego for once is a surprise
Atsumu:
who asked ya
Shirabu:
I'm in this chat
Unfortunately
Ennoshita:
So what are you going to do now Atsumu?
Atsumu:
idk i still don't like being around him
Yahaba:
That's weirdly contradicting
Atsumu:
so i gotta get used to it
so im gonna text him everyday
Shirabu:
How the fuck did you come to that conclusion
Akaashi:
Good luck
Yahaba:
Wow
Ennoshita:
All the best
Sakusa-san is hard to talk to
Kenma:
i called it
enemies to lovers
Atsumu:
we ain’t lovers yet
Kenma:
it's getting there
-
Atsumu:
IVE BEEN BLOCKED
NOOOO OMI
Yahaba:
That's what
the fourth time this week?
Kenma:
better than last week
Ennoshita:
Last week was terrible
Was it twelve times?
Shirabu:
Fourteen
I'm more surprised it wasn't past twenty
Atsumu:
ya've got so little faith in me
OMIIIII UNBLOCK ME
AKAASHI PLEASE
Akaashi:
I've got no guarantees
Shirabu:
He's going to block Akaashi next
Atsumu:
i know yer in contact with him
Yahaba:
Yeah no don't count on Shirabu
He wouldn't help you
Atsumu:
yea that's why i haven't asked him
Ennoshita:
What did you do this time anyway?
Atsumu:
nothing!!!!
Akaashi:
He repeatedly sent memes and photos after Sakusa-san told him not to
Atsumu:
boo
it's not my fault he can't appreciate em
Shirabu:
I would've blocked you faster than you sent the next one
Atsumu:
omiiiiiiii
omiomi
omiomiiiiii
Yahaba:
Is he going through withdrawals already
Kenma:
it's been three minutes
Atsumu:
TOO LONG
omiiiiiii
omiomi
kiyo
ki
kiki
kiyooo
kiyooooooomi
omiomiomiomi
Yahaba:
He's like a broken recorder
Shirabu:
And what do we do with those
We throw them away
Atsumu:
yer never getting rid of me
Shirabu:
Fuck you
I hope Sakusa-san keeps you blocked for the next three days
Atsumu:
he wouldn't
-
Atsumu:
FUCK YA SHIRABU
ITS BEEN THREE DAYS
IM DYING WITHOUT MY OMI
Shirabu:
Loser
Ennoshita:
That's longer than usual
Atsumu:
i can see the light at the end of the tunnel
Shirabu:
Good riddance
Akaashi:
Should I ask Sakusa-san?
Atsumu:
PLEASE KAASHI
ILL GIVE YOU MY FIRSTBORN CHILD
Akaashi:
That's not necessary
Kenma:
dunno why you'd do that to yourself
Akaashi:
Well
Atsumu:
KAASHI PLEASE
IM ON MY KNEES
Atsumu:
Okay okay
So he forgot about it
Atsumu:
HE WHAT
-
Miya:
OMI
I CANT BELIEVE YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME
omi omi:
I should've kept you blocked
The peace was nice while it lasted
Miya:
OMIIIII
NOOOOO
omi omi:
Stop calling me that
Miya:
no it suits ya
omi
omiomi
omi omi:
I will block you again, Miya
Miya:
yer still callin me that?
omi omi:
Yes
Miya:
yer mean omi
the meanest
whatre ya doin
omi omi:
Trying to study
Miya:
but that's boring
yer gonna go bald at thirty
omi omi:
I fail to see the correlation
Miya:
cmon omi
play kart with me
omi omi:
What is that
Miya:
mario kart?
do ya not have a switch omi
omi?
omiiiii
OMI
where'd ya go
omi omi:
Motoya has informed me that Mario Kart is a game
Miya:
duh
what did ya think it was
wait
omi
have ya never played kart before??
omi omi:
I haven't
Miya:
WHAY
no wonder yer so pent up all the time
wheres ya childhood omi
cmon play with komori and i and samu
omiiiii
pleaaaasse
omiii
omiomi
ommiii
kiyooooo
omi
omi omi:
I'll be hearing this in my nightmares
Miya:
aw omi ya dream about me
omi omi:
I have studying to return to
Miya:
NOO
OMI
WAITTTT
PLAY EITH ME
OMIII
incoming voice call from Miya
.
.
.
voice call accepted