Chapter Text
Buck was rightfully freaked out. He was no stranger to change. Hell, the last year had been nothing but change, but this was different. Over his years of growth and becoming, everything had felt so big and scary, but now, it pales in comparison to the young life that had just been thrust upon Eddie.
Eddie was hiding in the bunk room. He took the child with him, essentially pulling the child away from Hen and Chim's medical examination.
“At least he seems healthy,” Hen said, sitting down next to Buck on the couch. The whole team had gathered there, sitting in silence as they came to terms with the shock of the morning. Hen glanced uncomfortably towards Buck.
“Did you know?” Hen asked softly, as if a sudden move could set off a range of confusing emotions. Buck nodded, hesitating.
“Did you?” He asked and then just flashed him a slight smile.
“You two knew about this?” Chimney said, his loud comment out of place in the warily quiet environment they had been in for the past hour. Hen shot him an amused glance, chastising him for his sudden outburst.
“Eddie told me a few months ago, and I encouraged him to tell Buck,” Hen said, the explanation fading back into uncomfortable silence.
“You should have told me, Hen,” Bobby said, breaking several minutes of silence. Buck was surprised at his captain-like tone. Bobby never sounded mad, but he seemed displeased with Hen at that moment.
“It wasn't my news to share, Bobby. I couldn't just betray his trust like that.” Hen stood, walking towards Bobby, his usual calm facade slipping ever so slightly.
“As the captain, I should know what is going on under this roof,” Bobby stated firmly and walked away.
The three firefighters stood there, waiting for Bobby to return to his office before daring to move.
“Cap has a point, it would have been nice to know,” Chim said, and Buck looked down at his hands hesitantly.
“You didn't see it,” Buck said softly. “The look on his face when he told me, it was just-” Buck cut himself off, unable to contextualize the sheer sorrow of the moment Eddie thought he would never be a father to his son.
He nodded in solemn agreement. “So what should we do now?” Hen asked, glancing over at the bunk room door where Eddie had gone with the baby. Then both their gazes turned to Buck.
“You need to be the one to go talk to him, kid,” Chimney said, and Hen nodded in agreement.
“It will be best coming from you.”
***
When Eddie found out Shannon was pregnant nine months ago, all he felt was numb. The cold feeling of dread engulfing his body whooshed through his ears as the life he knew crumbled into an unrecognizable pit of disappointment.
The moment he took his son into his arms, that shame and numbness he had been carrying around for the better part of a year melted away into a stream of tears.
This was his son.
He clung onto his baby, carefully cradling his head as silent tears streamed down his face. Eddie pushed down the sobs, unwilling to wake the perfect baby in his arms.
“Christopher,” Eddie whispered into the darkness, as if the name was a prayer over the small boy. “I'm your dad, and I am going to protect you, now and always.” The child stirred at that, his eyes opening slightly, a small crease between them just like his father’s.
***
Buck walked up to the bunk room door, his heart beating in his chest. For a moment he just stood there, planning out the next move. Should he knock? Or just walk in. In an attempt to not wake the sleeping child, Buck opened the door carefully, silently poking his head into the mostly dark room.
Buck could see Eddie’s outline on their usual bed, the silhouette of the small car seat drawing his gaze.
Just as Buck was going to enter the room, he hesitated, letting himself look at the boy he loved holding a perfect child in his hands. Eddie’s soft voice lilted over him.
“...I am going to protect you now and always,” he whispered in a tone Buck had never heard from Eddie, as if he was singing a lullaby to the child with those words of promise. For a moment, Buck felt like he should leave and let them have more time alone, but as Buck began to move out of the bunk room, the door's creak betrayed him. Buck tensed as Eddie turned around slowly, careful not to jostle the baby.
“I'm sorry, I can go just-” Buck whispered, but Eddie cut him off.
“Come see Christopher,” Eddie said, his eyes never leaving the child in his arms.
Buck closed the door softly before padding towards the father and son. He sat next to Eddie, a familiar feeling, and looked down at Christopher.
His eyes were brown just like his father’s, and Buck could see the same twinkle in his eye that Buck had grown to love in Eddie over the last few months.
“Do you want to hold him?” Eddie said, finally looking up to Buck.
“Are you sure?” Buck hesitated, and Eddie nodded, carefully handing Christopher over to Buck.
In that moment, Christopher was the only thing that mattered.
Buck had always loved kids; seeing their cute smiles and energetic demeanors always brightened his day, but this was different. It was like he was holding the entire world in his arms.
They sat for a long time, holding Christopher, swaying slightly as their arms pressed together. Buck was startled a bit when Eddie broke the silence first.
“Buck– I don't think I can do this alone.” Buck glanced up at the other boy, the movement jostling the child in his arms. He didn't cry, but his tiny eyes opened slightly. For a moment, Buck was reminded of Eddie in the early morning. His hatred for an early start to the day was always amusing to Buck, and he has no doubt that Christopher will share his father’s hatred for mornings.
“What?” Buck said softly, restarting the rocking motion to keep Christopher calm.
“This child deserves a family; people who love him, and I will give him everything, but I need you to be that for him, too.” The words came tumbling out of him, like he had been planning them out in his head for hours. Buck paused for a moment, looking down at the child in his arms.
For a long time, Buck considered himself to be essentially an adult. He was working at a real job, he left his home, and he felt like he could take on the world, but in that moment, he felt like a child—almost confused that the universe was placing a child in his 17-year-old lap. But more than anything, he felt love for Christopher, and especially Eddie. And so, in only seven words, he changed the trajectory of his life.
“I am your family, no matter what.”