Chapter Text
Snow fell like glittering diamonds from the sky, blanketing everything with a thick layer of frost. The graves held the snow sticking to the smooth stone, the flowers occupying various headstones gleaming with crystals, impossible to discover the original colour of the petals. The forgotten graves looked tired, as if they had given up hope in anyone ever returning. But one man returned to this graveyard, and to one headstone in particular.
Captain Jack Harkness hated goodbyes. Maybe he got it from an old friend he used to travel with. He only wished to carry on, the future ahead without looking back on previous mistakes and people. This curse had meant he outlived anyone he came across, so he never looked back. If he did his past would suffocate him, grief shattering his heart and aching in every inch of his body. Rarely had Jack shown this vulnerability, rarely would he burden this information on anyone.
This time he would revisit his past. Back to Ianto, back to the last time he had felt happy. Navigating the rows of graves was so familiar he already knew the way. Crouching in front of the grave form long ago, Jack traced the words etched into the head of the stone slab. Ianto Jones. A name that haunted his nightmares but blessed his dreams. The last time this man had occupied this space in front of his grave was long ago, and his heart had been shattered. No one had been there to pick up the pieces. Not after everyone had left him.
This time however, his heart felt lighter and recovered. Time does that to you. After a while, you move on, but Jack still thinks about him once in a while. Not as much as he used to. But enough. Tonight he had perhaps had too much to drink, and everything was numb, the cracks softened until the edges were smooth. Or maybe that was the snow. It had been a while since it had snowed. Jack kept his hand on the cold stone, water sleeping into the cracks of his fingers.
“I thought I'd come and see you. I was in the area and let's just say I need a reminder of who I used to be. I tell myself I've changed, that I'm better. But I'm not.”
Jack still kept the letter tucked into his left pocket, the folds wrinkled and yellowed with age by the amount of times he had read it.
“I met the Doctor a few more times, so that's cool huh? Once I even found him in a gay bar, can you believe that? I'm sure I don't need to tell you what happened next”
“But um” He cleared his throat. “I thought I would visit you.” “I keep thinking about you, and I know it's stupid that I'm still not over us, and I should be. Countless of people I had hooked up with, the truth is I was never in a serious relationship. The only one I was in I realised too late. But it's only you I think about."
The snow continued pelting down, the soft specks of glitter falling from the cloudy white sky. The intricate designs on the stone had faded, and moss weaved itself in patterns. Goodbyes may not be forever, but it sure was taking its time. Jack would have to wait for forever, and eternity.
“Ianto. I don't know how to say goodbye. I hate looking back but I can't help it when it involves you. This is the last time. I wish I could move on but I came here to do so.”
God I hate making myself vulnerable. Why did I ever do this to myself? I told myself one time but I had to get obsessed didn't I?
“How long has it been? I can't remember really. I wanted to say goodbye. And I thought I did, long ago, but I'm still thinking about you. But there's still something holding me back.”
Jack pulled out the letter from his left pocket, staring at the familiar handwriting. Today was the day he was going to let him go. He wouldn't forget Ianto. No. But he would finally let him rest in peace. Retrieving a lighter from his other pocket, he set it alight. The flame flickered, orange against the white backdrop. Jack held it to the scrap of paper he had kept with him all these years, and it went up in smoke, the last trace of Ianto gone. He felt lighter after that, his pocket strangely empty of the burden. His muscles protested as he got up, the snow swirling. He pressed a kiss to the cold gravestone.
He could finally move on.
* * * * *
Jack took a swig of his drink, warming up his insides like liquid gold, any cold remaining getting chased away. The Christmas tree in the corner shimmered, flickering white lights in the corner of the bar. It was Christmas.
“Careful buddy, those are strong.”
Jack looks up from the bottom of his glass at the man that had slipped into the seat beside him. He had a suit on, as if he had rushed straight from work to this bar. His tie was undone and his shirt was untucked from his back belt, but his hair was perfectly managed, gel slicking down the stray hairs. His face was perfectly angled, and he could sense mischief in his green eyes.
“Captain Jack Harkness” Jack outstretched his hand, shaking hands. offering a wide smile and a drink. The man returned it.
Maybe tonight wasn't as hopeless as Jack thought.