Chapter Text
“You see that star?” Tuk asked pointing at a random space in the sky “Mh, no” Lo’ak replied.
Stargazing was a Lo’ak activity: he loved the sky at night, well he loved the sea at night too, a combination of both felt like heaven.
“At least tell me you can see this one in front of us” Tuk pointed to a well visible star “Now this one is actually visible” Lo’ak said.
Tuk crawled on his brother, hugging him tightly, Lo’ak reciprocating the hug.The boy kissed his baby sister on the head, scratching the back of her ears.
“Do you think, Neteyam is there too?” The question caught Lo’ak off guard, but he tried to respond in a calm way to not get his sister scared “Well, technically Eywa returned him to nature” Lo’ak explained “So yeah, I guess that he’s with the stars too”.
“You’re acting weird” Tuk said after raising her bust up “Me? how?”.
“I don’t know” she admits “you seem pretty closed off”.
“I’m just tired” Lo’ak reassured, fucking liar.
“I’ll keep you active then” Tuk challenged, starting to play sparring with her brother: Lo’ak throws her in the water next to their mauri pod, catching a laugh from Tuk.
“Again!” she says while swimming in circles “Again again again again!” Lo’ak shakes his head while smirking “You don’t have a survival instinct, do you?”.
Suddenly someone appeared behind him, Tuk face changed, worried, Lo’ak turned to look at whoever was behind him: Jake, oh god he really messed up.
“Why is your sister in the water?” Jake asked, Lo’ak froze and Jake, upon realizing his son wouldn’t reply to him, dismissed “Stop playing stupid games” and with that Jake left.
Tuk, sensing his brother’s discomfort, tried to reassure him “Hey!” She yelled “You’re not stupid, I had fun playing with you”.
“Thanks Tuk” he said “But please just… return back home”.
It was a rough night, Lo’ak decided to go sleep it off: maybe he’ll be well rested the next day.
As far as he could remember, he didn’t get that fresh sleep: Jake scolded him for playing idiotically with Tuk, starting to talk about how Lo’ak always caused trouble and made stupid decisions.
He left the pod for a night walk, that night was the night he tried to overdose.
He didn’t remember were he found the plants, not how he reached the place to try suicide again, not how many plants he ingested.
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Kiri sprinted towards the village, heart drilling in her chest: Lo’ak, he found Lo’ak, he did it again.
She finally arrived at her mauri pod, Neytiri and Jake sitting on the floor talking, when all of a sudden Kiri barged in.
“Baby girl, ehy, what happened?” Jake immediately caught Kiri “Lo’ak… he, he… dad, please come with me”.
“What did he do this time?” Neytiri asked “Please, follow me” Kiri begged.
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Upon arriving, the trio found Lo’ak: Tsireya held him to the side, there was vomit over the sand and an overall mess.
Jake sprinted towards his son, dragging him from the shoulders to make him lay on his lap: Lo’ak’s face was dissociated, his eyes were bloodshot, the corners of his mouth were dirty of blood and vomit.
Upon seeing her son in such state, Neytiri immediately broke down, crawling to her child “No no no no LO’AK” she screamed with her whole heart “Not him great mother”.
Neytiri moved her son’s hair away and cleaned him off the vomit and blood with her hand, it didn’t matter if it was gross, that was still her baby… she had to do this.
“Great mother…” Lo’ak basically gasped, and he immediately broke down crying “I’m sorry” he said “I’m so sorry”.
The crying of his son broke Jake’s heart, damn what happened to his boy?.
“Hang on buddy hang on” Jake said “You can’t die, do you hear me? You can’t”.
“Teyam…” Lo’ak gasped through his words, the tears rapidly falling from his eyes “I’m so tired I, just end it” and Jake swore to Eywa he felt shivers down his spine.
“Stay with me” Jake pleaded “Teyam I…” Lo’ak gasped.
“Sir I…” Lo’ak said “it’ll be alright “.
“Dad!” Kiri shouted “I found this” she handed a couple of violet bioluminescent plants, Neytiri carefully inspected them: she knew those plants, they were hallucinogenic and highly deathly, too much of them and death was the only path you could follow.
“Ma Jake” Neytiri said “It’s poisonous, it’s hallucinogenic…” she gasped panicked.
“Mother” Kiri said “it’s fine” Neytiri suddenly shouted, blood curling like screams haunting the night.
Tsireya was sent to call the tshahik, after that she arrived: Ronal quickly made her way to the boy, gasping in shock upon seeing both Lo’ak and the plants.
“Great mother” Ronal said, the others giving her space “Your son… he’s… he almost reached the number of plants for basically put him down!” She said panicked.
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Third time he vomited, he was sure he already threw his soul away.
Dear Eywa, why was he always subjected to pain? Why was he the one to punish?.
He felt his head wetting: he probably fell into the water, or his vomit, a mix of the two maybe.
Suddenly he started to hear voices, like a distant memory.
“You like the stars?” The voice echoed “Some though were made for falling once they hit the ground” Neteyam’s voice, he could distinguish it anytime.
Lo’ak felt pain in his kidneys, moving was worse and even breathing caused him literal agonizing pain.
The sky assumed multicolored shapes and colors, suddenly he felt the need to gag.
Fourth round, the next will probably be his stomach and even his bones at this point.
His breathing started to get progressively hard to bear, letting out weird painful sounds.
He regretted not using the gun another time once again