Chapter Text
Will wasn’t sure how he managed to have enough time on his hands to worry about the fact that his entire group of friends were barely talking, have a part-time job, try to come out to his family, and still worry about how to slip his note back to Chance, but he was pretty sure it was just that he was a good multitasker, really.
The issue was that he didn’t drive, so he couldn’t exactly drive himself to slip the note into Chance’s mailbox. He couldn’t ask Jonathan or Hopper or his mom because then they’d ask, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to come out to them just yet. He was pretty positive that they wouldn’t care. They had barely blinked when Jon had come out, anyway, and Jon had been sneaking Steve in! He couldn’t ask Steve because Steve would tell Jon, and that defeated the entire point of asking Steve. Mike would boil his hands before he willingly drove him to a jock’s house. Robin didn’t even have a license and relied on Steve to get everywhere.
Which left him with Dustin.
Who knew he was gay, who had a license, who already drove him most of the places he went.
And also happened to be the most curious person he had ever known.
“Why am I driving you to a basketball player’s house?” Dustin had one hand on the wheel, the other wrapped around the Slurpee Will had to promise to buy him in exchange for the ride.
“I… need to give him something.”
“Right. But couldn’t you just give it to him anywhere? Like, why are we specifically driving past his mailbox, putting something in, and then taking off? It makes no fucking sense. Jesus Christ, what do you have in that letter, Buddy? Are you death-threatening a basketball player?”
Will couldn’t stop the eye roll. “Would you calm down? Not everything is a life-or-death situation. You do know that, right?”
Except it sort of felt like this was a life-or-death situation. Because if anyone found the letter and really read into the context of it, everyone would know what he was. There’d be no denying it. No pretending it wasn’t him. No way to ever move past all the things that people said about him that had been following him around long before anyone had ever called him Zombie Boy. If anyone other than Chance got the note… everyone would know what he was.
“You look nauseous. Are you gonna hurl?” Dustin squinted over at him, clutching his Slurpee to his chest, even though he wasn’t going to hurl.
Probably.
“Have you ever considered doing something really, really stupid? Like, there are a million reasons not to do it and maybe one reason to do it, and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, it feels like you have to anyway?”
“I feel like I need more context, Buddy.”
Maybe he could tell Dustin. It wasn’t like it was a love letter. It wasn’t like he was going to date Chance or like Chance wanted to date him. Was he cute? Sure. But he wasn't interested.
(He wasn't even as cute as Mike.
Probably not even half as brave as Mike was, either.
Definitely didn’t give him the same butterflies as Mike did, either.)
But it would include having to tell Dustin that Chance had written to him first. And mentioning that Chance had asked if they were different in the same way. And Will didn’t think that it was up to him, really, to be the one telling people who Chance was before Chance had even gotten around to telling the people he wanted to know.
(He didn’t think he’d want it done to him if the roles were reversed.
He liked to think he’d give Chance the same courtesy that he would have wanted extended to him.)
“I can’t give you more context, Dustin, Jesus. Can you answer the question or not?”
Dustin thoughtfully—and loudly—slurped on his Slurpee. Will was going to have to remember to buy him something quieter the next time he needed a getaway driver. “I think sometimes the scary things are worth it.” He nodded, definitive, as he stared out at the road. “You know? Like, Eddie was terrified of the Upside Down. He was terrified. But he did it anyway, because he knew we couldn’t let people keep dying and he knew we couldn’t let the bad guys win. I mean, he was right to be terrified… you know, considering how it ended for him.” Dustin scoffed bitterly, and Will couldn’t blame him for that. He hadn’t known Eddie, but he knew Dustin, Lucas, and Mike had worshipped him. He’d sounded like someone who might have actually been worthy of the devotion, honestly. “Eddie was fearless in the end, even though he was scared. So I think sometimes you gotta just say fuck it to all the reasons you shouldn’t do something and do it anyway.”
“Even if it’s something that could be bad later?”
“I think if it’s worth it, it’s worth it.” Dustin shrugged. “I was worth protecting to Eddie. Is whatever’s in there worth it to you?”
He looked down at his letter, at his own handwriting on the front, knowing what was inside of it. A truth he hadn’t willingly given to anyone but Dustin. A truth that Vecna had used against him for years to keep him afraid. Then he couldn’t help but think about a boy on the basketball team who was infinitely cooler than him, more athletic than him, and just as scared of people knowing he was gay as he was.
“You can keep driving. Chance’s house is up the street.”
“I swear to God, Will, if you’re sending a star basketball player a fucking death threat, I’m gonna kill you,” Dustin groaned. But he didn’t stop driving.
By the time they’re back at his house, he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a nosebleed from his nerves. So, obviously, El has the rest of the party over. She had beamed as she waved them into the living room. “We are having a double date. Would you both like to join us?”
It’s cute, really, how hard El had been working to include them since the blow-up at the ice cream shop. True to her word, El had called Dustin that night and apologized more than Will had even thought necessary—which said a lot, considering he was notorious for apologies. Now it seemed like every time she did anything with the other three members of the party, Dustin and Will were getting invited along, too.
(It had not, however, resolved any of the tension.
Lucas had apologized, and while Will had accepted it, Dustin was still bristling about it, while Mike seemed more mad that for the first time in forever, Will hadn’t taken his side in a fight, but Dustin’s.
Which he could understand, sort of.
Water was wet.
The sky was blue.
And Will was always on Mike’s side in disagreements within the party.
Except this time he hadn’t been, and Mike was still not over it.)
Beside her, Mike’s jaw tightened and he crossed his arms across his chest while he focused back on the movie. Beside him, Dustin’s jaw clenched and he was suddenly more interested in his shoes than Will thought was possible. Lucas cocked an eyebrow as he looked between the two before he whispered something—too low for Will to catch—to Max, who looked at him and then Mike, then Dustin and El, before throwing her head back with a laugh.
“It’s okay, El.” He nudged Dustin, fully expecting him to say something, but he had moved on from studying his shoes to playing with his keys. “I actually just got this new comic I was gonna give to Dustin.”
Big brown eyes that he had always been powerless to refuse narrowed, and then Mike scoffed, shaking his head. Beside him, El peered curiously at him before she turned back to look at them. Well. It was more Dustin than him, which was a little rude since he’s her brother. “Are you sure? I promise, it will be fun. I have missed seeing you.”
Dustin scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry, El. Will actually basically just took me out on a Slurpee date, and now I’m wired. No way I can sit still long enough for a movie.”
Mike’s scoff was louder this time than the last, and Will wanted to scream. How was he the problem, when everything Dustin had said was right? When Mike was always ditching him for El and double dates and literally anything he had deemed more important than him? And now he was still mad, even though it seemed like everyone else just wanted to move on. Will didn’t think it was possible for Mike to get more infuriating if he tried.
El nudged Mike with her leg, eyes narrowed, before she looked back at them with a small frown. “Well. Okay. If you do change your mind, please come back.”
Will was getting ready to say thanks when Dustin grabbed his arm and all but dragged him off to his room. Jesus. “What is your issue?” He huffed once the door to his room was shut.
“Okay. So. Remember how I sort of freaked out a few days ago and blew up on Mike and Lucas?” Dustin paced the length of his room.
Will couldn’t not roll his eyes. “That’s what this is about? Dustin, Lucas apologized. Mike might have looked like he was swallowing a lemon, but he sort of apologized.”
“Yes, yes, I know.” Dustin groaned as he leaned back against his desk. “The issue is that I had, like, a heart-to-heart with Steve that night during our dinner. And he—” Dustin fiddled with the strap of his fanny pack, and god, he couldn’t believe that he had a best friend who wore a fanny pack. “He may have possibly, uh, forced me to reexamine exactly why I was so upset. Other than because, unlike our shithead best friends, I prioritize our friendships.”
He cocked an unimpressed eyebrow at his friend and waited. Dustin sighed louder as he flailed his hands before collapsing on the bed beside him. “I also might be annoyed that Mike’s dating El.”
(Will loved Dustin.
He did.
They had become Will and Dustin these last few weeks.
Dustin had gotten him a job.
Dustin was constantly driving him places.
Giving sometimes good, sometimes terrible advice.
But if Dustin was about to tell him that he had a crush on Mike—when Will had been all but obsessed with him since they were actual children—he was going to deck him.)
“Oh.” He heard himself say, and Dustin’s eyes widened before he gasped.
“I am not into Mike, Byers! Jesus Christ, ew! Mike’s a fucking baboon with opposable thumbs, man. I have a thing for”—he fiddled with his hat—“I have a thing for El.”
“My sister?” Will blinked slowly. “Like, my sister? Who has superpowers? That is dating our best friend?”
(He could see it, though, now that he really thought about it.
Dustin blushed every time El smiled at him.
And Dustin, who was gross on a good day, would somehow always tone it down when El was around.
Who had brought El every Wonder Woman comic he had just because she had mentioned wanting one.
Who always, always, always—not that Will could blame him, because he felt the same way—said that El couldn’t always be their fix-it to small problems.
“She’s a person! She has autonomy, and it’s one thing for us to use her powers to save the fucking world, Maxine, but we shouldn’t be asking her to use her powers to pants a guy because he bumped into you in the hallway!”
Who would look over at El sometimes like she was made up of starlight and sunshine, like Eleven was the reason that every star in the sky came out at night.)
Dustin scrubbed a hand down his face, equal parts embarrassed and guilty from what Will could tell. “You can’t tell Mike, Will. He would kill me. He would gut me. He would destroy me.”
“Well. Yes.” Will nodded, because Mike would. His possessiveness knew no limits from what Will could tell. “But if it helps, I’m pretty sure Mike isn’t even talking to me, so no worries there.”
“I’m a shitty friend.” Dustin groaned into his hands. “How could I do this to Mike? Or El?”
“It’s sweet,” he insisted. It was more than sweet, really. Will would pay someone to look at him the way Dustin looked at El. “El would be lucky to be loved by you, Dustin.” He paused. “And it isn’t like you did it on purpose. You’re not out there trying to convince El to leave Mike—”
“I would cut my tongue out first.” Dustin blinked up at the ceiling. “Can we read comic books now? Please? All of this feelings talk is making me nauseous.”
He nudged Dustin’s shoulder with his own. “It's probably because you drank all of your Slurpee and most of mine.” He stood up anyway to retrieve the comics he had promised.
Will figured that if he ever told anyone about his feelings for Mike, maybe Dustin would be the first. He'd get it. But for now, they had comic books to read.