Chapter Text
“Why is there an ogre?” Siffrin 2 asks.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY S W A M P” Ah so the ogre is Shrek. This makes complete sense, and Shrek definitely fits In Stars And Time.
“um what.” A new Siffrin says appearing out of the machine, this one is literally melting.
“chat i am in so much pain right now” A LITERALLY ACTIVALLY DYING Siffrin says
“hammer time” shrek proceeds to put the activally dying Siffrin out of it’s misery
fuck. the melting Siffrin got stuck on the hammer and is now HAMMERSIF!!!
We all love hammersif
Its a hammer with Siffrin’s face what more can i say
A Jevil Siffrin. collapses immediately.
A Baja Blast Siffrin. collapses immediately.
A Garfield Siffrin. collapses immediately.
A Hand Sanitizer Siffrin. collapses immediately.
A Fanta Siffrin. collapses immediately.
A SpongeBob Siffrin. collapses immediately.
A Gir Siffrin. collapses immediately.
The clone machine — gears whirring noisily — continued to create Siffrin’s that should’ve never existed that die instantly.
Siffrin 2 steps carefully towards the machine. He puts care to not touch anything as they examine it to see what’s wrong.
Sif2 had several theories about what could possibly be causing this mayhem and chaos.
Theory 1: The machine was out of Mana
Theory 2: Something was stuck in it
Theory 3: Something within the machine was rotting, breaking, failing
Theory 4: The machine was sending a call for help
Theory 5: The machine sucked at Powerwashing Simulator
“Hey machine what’s wrong?” Siffrin 2 asks it, with a deranged smile on his face.
Interrupting that train of thought, they spot a paper.
Gradually Getting Worse Clone Maker 3000 Created By Shrek No Middle Name No Last Name
“Ah that explains it.”
The machine began heating up, the whirring noise continuing much louder. It began to glow RED a color it should not be able to become.
Kaboom. (ha get it Kaboom. no you dont because nobody knows the context i made the context its an inside joke from . teh unstable quilt) Every Siffrin died on impact.
“REALLY NOW AUTHOR??? YOU’RE JUST GOING TO END IT LIKE THAT? KILLING EVERYONE? WHILE HASTILY EXPLAINING WHAT CAUSED THE MESS ‘THE MACHINE’ CREATED? WE ALL KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO DESIGNED IT.” The security guard is back
OH FUCK OFF NOW ITS CALLED SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF.
“Suspension of disbelief? More like. SUS.”
Thats a horrible joke.
“You wrote an entire chapter of this to be among us”
Ok what about it? Its my fic. My chaos. My choice. My distraction from reality. I CONTROL EVERYTHING IN THIS UNIVERSE. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW!!! This is far from the end.
“i hope your lying about that last part.”
You’re*
“Shut your sybau up”
L+BOZO
“No u”
This is the worst argument ever
“Yeah it is let’s agree to stop. It’s obvious your just attached to those jokes because you’re afraid of letting go of any part of yourself. Afraid to develop a real personality.”
Oh so we’re getting personal now? Deciding to attack where you think it will hurt
“You’re ‘heart of stone’ isn’t fooling everyone.”
ok neither is you breaking the 4th wall
“Now here you are breaking the 4th wall of the 4th wall”
DUDE JUST GIVE IT UP. I WILL CONTINUE WRITING NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY.
“Oh hey the word count is at 2763- OH NEVERMIND STARS BLAST IT. I GUESS I RUINED IT HAHA”
topic changer
“Yeah what about it”
Are you going to let this go yet? Siffrim.
“Siffrim?”
Yes Siffrim that is you now.
I need a way to differentiate you from the ACTUAL characters who actually STAY IN THEIR ROLE and dont argue with the author. when you are in my territory.
“Ok well. Youre taking over my story technically. I was here first.”
is that really true? are we really going to do a chicken and the egg over this
“you say this while listening to a song about vegetable juice.”
irrevelant. i am cringe and i am free this is already VERY WELL estabalished
“Stare”
you just ‘audibly’ said that
“Yeah because any action i do you write for me”
BECAUSE IM THE AUTHOR
“Ok well im better”
source?
“because. you literally refuse to be your actual self you just adapt to me and other past characters youve latched onto”
ACTUALLY IT WAS SIFFRIN I LATCHED ONTO. NOT YOU SIFFRIM. YOUR JUST AN IMPOSTER. A FRAUD.
“Self projecting much?”
…
“Silent huh.”
…
this fic is over