Chapter Text
Clem thought she had done admirably, acting entirely normal when Myrna and Vorgoth had been waiting for her in Bellara’s room at the Lighthouse. Especially when they had started discussing Emmrich, and the logistics of him joining their group.
Even more impressive was that she didn’t choke on her own saliva when Bellara made a face in her direction that Myrna had definitely seen, but pointedly ignored… Though she could be sure Myrna would find a way to ask her about it in the future.
But she had done well, with everything considered. And Bellara needed some credit, too. She hadn’t said a word about her ties to the professor, even when Myrna asked if Clementine had ever been acquainted with him. Clem had even made a mental note to thank her privately, later. A day trip out to Arlathan with a box of those candies from Dock Town she had liked so much.
But then, the moment from her nightmares came true.
All too soon, Bellara had told her she’d found an eluvian connected to the Grand Necropolis and that Rook could head out to meet up with Professor Volkarin whenever. Only after that did she apologize that they hadn’t been able to find a good alternative, but that she was sure everything would be fine. Clementine was sure everything would be fine: once she’d cleared the air with Emmrich and he’d decided they absolutely could not work together. Because that was assuredly what would happen. She couldn’t see any universe in which Emmrich didn’t turn tail and run the very moment he found out about her stupid tall tale she’d shared like gossip over drinks with the girls. Honestly, she could only hope it didn’t make him drop contact with Bellara.
At least it had been nice to be home. The dreary coldness of it, the pride of being able to guide Bellara through the winding corridors with ease, and the sound of raised spirits assisting with work throughout the halls. And to think, she’d spent the past few months pretending she hadn’t been homesick at all.
Emmrich was just as handsome as she remembered, and she smiled brightly at him when they finally made eye contact. ‘Now for the hard part,’ she thought. How in the world was she meant to introduce herself to him? Bellara was standing right there, and she thought they had history! She gaped, mouth opening and closing in an attempt to make words come out, but no dice. Emmrich had cocked his head before producing an almost surprised noise. “Ah, Clementine! Ahem. Miss Ingellvar. Lovely to see you again,” he offered, a smile pulling on his lips. Bellara’s eyes widened at the easy display of geniality, and Clementine felt her face heat up at the thought that he remembered her, in the years since they’d met—he remembered her name and her face. A name she had only mentioned off-handedly as he dropped her off at her door.
She wanted to be giddy at the realization, but tempered her reaction instead with a polite nod. “Professor Volkarin, it’s a pleasure.”
Pseudo introductions aside, everything remained perfectly normal. They assisted the professor around the Necropolis, were introduced to his absolutely delightful ward, Manfred, and conversation stayed well within what was acceptable for what were (for all intents and purposes) business associates. Bellara remained tight-lipped about any past she thought the pair had, and Clementine remained as quiet and calm as possible. It had been an altogether pleasant day.
But all good things must come to an end, and for Clem, that meant a whisper for Bellara to give her a minute alone with Emmrich and lingering awkwardly as she waited for her friend to be just out of ear shot before turning upon him, face beet red with shame. He gave her a quizzical look, head tilted just so- but before he could get so much as a word out, Clementine squeaked out a pitiful, “I’m so sorry, Professor.”
Emmrich fixed her with an even more perplexed stare, brows knitting together. “Whatever for? There was little you could’ve done today to warrant such a grim demeanor- surely you aren’t still fretting over our walk back to the Necropolis. That was years ago, my dear.”
Clementine groaned, hiding her face in her hands. This would most assuredly not go well. “N-no, nothing like that. I… Oh how do I say this?” Her stomach twisted into uncomfortable knots, and no amount of deep breaths could ever begin to untangle them. “I’m afraid I’ve done something, ah, embarrassing. And entirely inappropriate. I very much hope you can take this in relatively good faith— and maybe we’ll both just move along with our entirely separate lives, and you’ll not begrudge my friends for my actions.” He stared almost blankly at her, and of course he would. There was no world in which what she was about to say to him would be something he could ever expect. Maker, he probably thought she’d killed someone. She dropped her hands to her sides, grasping at the hem of her robes haplessly. He made no attempt to reply, so with a stuttering breath, she continued.
“It was honestly a rather unfortunate combination of events. It was myself, Bellara, and our friends; and there was wine and lots of normal conversation to be had along with dinner! But eventually, the topic changed. I think it started with Bellara bringing up a romance she was reading. She couldn’t stop chatting about the love interest, or something of the like. Suddenly, we were all talking about our love lives. Everyone was gossiping, and I had been perfectly content sidelineing myself- but they weren’t. When they asked about the last relationship I’d been in…ugh, I’m so sorry.” Clementine fretted over the cuffs of her sleeves, next. Anything to keep from looking up at Emmrich, who still kept his thoughts to himself. She almost wished he’d just cut her off right there, understanding enough to never wish to see her again.
But he didn’t, so Clementine pressed on, picking at a stray thread she’d found on her sleeve. “At first I tried to tell them the truth. I’ve never even kissed anyone, let alone been in a relationship. I’ve never had the time, or the desire for one.”
‘Liar,’ she thought bitterly of herself, though she attempted to ignore that particular voice in the back of her head. She already had enough to feel bad about. “They didn’t accept my answer. I tried again, and it ended the same. At this point all three of them were well and truly staring at me, waiting for me to confess. I know I should’ve just been firmer about it, but! My brain wouldn’t let me disappoint them. I tried to think of anyone who I never thought would find out. Classmates, coworkers, employees at stores I frequented- but no one I could come up with would’ve worked. Lace- uhm, Harding, our scout: she knows the people I know. It had to be someone she’d never met.”
She peeked up at him hesitantly through her lashes and noticed a slight frown pulling at his lips, brows furrowed as though he knew whatever she said next would be trouble. And he’d be absolutely right. “The last person I could think of in the moment was- it was, uh…you. A-and then Bellara said that she knew you and-” Clementine’s hands shot back up to her face, hiding behind fingers and fabric. “I’m sorry,” she stuttered out before he could get a word in, cringing as she felt the tips of her ears begin to burn. “I understand if you can’t accept the offer to work with my team. It was a stupid mistake I made only to feel better about myself. It was selfish and wrong and-” Emmrich cut her off with a hand placed gently on her shoulder.
A quiet gasp escaped her and she looked up at him, embarrassed tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. “The young do all manner of foolish things, Rook. If I didn’t take this with some modicum of grace, what sort of mentor would I be?” His voice was warm and caring, as though she hadn’t just told him of the most embarrassing, bold faced lie she’d ever told in her life. How was he being so calm about this?
“They still don’t know I lied. I haven’t said anything. I was too nervous they’d be angry at me. Everyone thinks we were…together. Y-you should be furious with me! I broke your trust before you even got to know me! And you’re just forgiving me?” Emmrich nodded plainly, and Clementine felt her stomach flip.
He was far too nice.
Emmrich stepped back, hand falling away from her shoulder. “I must admit: it’s certainly one of the stranger confessions I’ve received in my time, but I’ll play along if you’re in need.” Clementine shook her head furiously, hands raising from where they huddled against her chest to wave wildly around in between them.
“Absolutely not! That’s entirely unnecessary. It’s my bed. I should lay in it. You’ve already done me a favor by not leaving the second I told you. Which is not what I expected, if I’m to be honest. I’ll just have to figure out a way to tell them. Somehow. Eventually.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose between two fingers. How on earth would she even manage that? There was already so much for her to worry about. And now this? ‘Ugh.’
He was staring at her in an almost unimpressed fashion, hands on his hips. Clementine had to pretend the sight didn’t make butterflies erupt in her stomach. This was going to be miserable no matter what. “And if you can’t?” Clementine flinched. She didn’t want to think about what it meant if she couldn’t, so she shrugged mildly in response, eyes drifting down to stare at her boots. Emmrich sighed in return and spun on his heel to leave in the direction Bellara went. “I’ll assist in whatever way you need, my dear.”
As she scurried after him to regroup with Bellara, something about the quality of his voice gave her pause. She couldn’t see it, but Clementine was almost sure he had a smile on his face.