Chapter Text
Destroy break too much let it out breathe smash crack let go cant cant not enough too much too much too MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH
His eyes focus back onto the wooden planks. His mind too. On what lies below. Take it let go destroy destroy destroy let it out! Nom takes a breath. It does nothing. Control control can't control! His chest tightens. His heart hurts. His eyes burn. Blurs. He can’t let that happen. Not now. Has to keep the tears at bay. Gods, why is he so pathetic? His chest tightens. He doesn’t want to believe it. But he heard 4c clear as day. Someone he gave up everything for. Who he considered his brother. Lied to him. Spilt his secret to someone he had specifically said he never wanted to know. Then couldn’t even own up to it. Avoided him because he couldn’t even look him in the eyes. Nom hurt. And he only knew one way to handle it.
The wood splinters under his axe. Bares the barrel below. There’s what he needs. The morningstar is heavy in his hand. Needed. He needs something heavy. Something to ground him in reality. The reality that 4c lied to him.
The water does little to cool off the boiling burning storm inside him. Too big! Can’t keep it inside! The stone is rough beneath his palms. It scrapes at skin. Nom barely notices the sting. He stands up. The salted wind blows against his back. His skin shivers. Contradicting the boiling under it. His mind is too clouded by the boiling within to take much notice of it. It pushes and pushes and pushes and pushes and-
The slime’s too close. 4c’s too close. He grabs Nom. Tries to get ahold of him. 4c talks, pleads, apologizes. Anything to get him to react. Nom both hears and doesn’t. Can’t comprehend what he says. Nor how he himself responds.. He wants to. It’s gonna boil over. He knows so. 4c… away get away! He can’t even agree with himself. Stupid, useless good for nothing boy pretending to be a knight. His body buzzes. Cant keep it inside too close too much! He pushes. Punches. 4c’s below. 4c is below him. His grip around the morningstar tightens. It would be so easy. So fucking easy. To just let it out. Nom was never gonna be a pretty thing. Emotions too big, too strong, too rash. He was always gonna be destructive. It’s all he’s good for. Destroying, breaking… killing. He’s nothing, but a weapon. Something to be wielded.
4c talks. Tries to explain, apologize. Or something. He’s not sure. But he answers anyway. Yells. All he knows is his head is buzzing and his arms raise above his head. 4c cowers, freezes. Scared he’s scared he should be. He knows what he’s doing. But not how to stop it. Only how to push it down. And down and down and down and down and down and down and down. Until everything explodes. Why is he like this? Why can’t he just be normal?
Nom leaps off the cliff. The morningstar. His morningstar. It sizzles with static energy. He aims at slime. The blob blurs. Moves out of sight. The morningstar hits dirt. The ground ripples with the power of his strike. He stumbles. Catches himself. A dust cloud forms around him. It got whirled up in the clash between metal and dirt. Some get in his eyes. It blinds him. Like what Katie does. Katie… she knows. He knows she knows. She must hate him. His chest pangs. Tears well up in his eyes. From the dust of course. He’s not so silly that simply thinking of his little sister makes him cry. A few of the tears fell. He wipes them quickly. The dust slowly clears from the air. He can see again.
4c’s nowhere to be seen. He fled. Of course. Another family member he’s driven away with his actions. He’s just a good for nothing senseless weapon. A weapon too hot for anyone to wield. Useless. The anger still boils within. It didn’t calm. It still simmers. Nom takes another breath. And walks back towards his kingdom. Their kingdom.
The path he takes runs along the rumbling river. His mind slowly clears. He registers the birds chirping. How the wind plays with the leaves of trees and bushes. The serene peace of the forest stands in striking contrast to the mess of unfathomable rage still burning within him.
He notices the Rue-bar first. Then quickly looks away. Steering clear off it completely. Beneath the gate stands Scott, Owain, Graecie and Mae. They seem to be talking. Laughing. Until they notice him. Four pairs of eyes silently lock onto the maze in his hand. Yet again he’s the one to ruin something good. Graecie catches his eyes. She’s the only one who knows its meaning. He doesn’t think Mae does. He had already thrown it away by the time Owain and later Scott arrived.
Oh, Graecie. Now he knows she wasn’t the one to reveal his secret. Gods above, he has to apologize. He’s so fucking stupid. Of course she would never do that. Everything wells up again. The anger, rage, regret, betrayal. It all surfaces yet again. His grip around the morningstar tightens. Scott and Mae recoils. Graecis shifts her footing, spear at the ready. Owain, simply stands there. Looking at him. He seems as if he contemplates something, before he turns to face Scott. His voice cuts through the prior moments of thickened silence. “My liege, would you mind having to postpone the choosing of the next monarch?” Scott seems caught off guard by the question. Stumbling over his answer. “N-no, ofcoursenot,” He breathes before continuing, “Take however long you need!”
Owain nods. And turns back to face Nom. He takes a step forward and another. He steadily walks towards him. Nom prepares for… something. Anything. He doesn’t know. Cold metal wraps around his wrist as Owain grabs it. And drags him on away from the kingdom.
What…?