Chapter Text
But yet again the attempts at peace and civility did not last long. Only a day and a half after the events of the warehouse and loss of vials they were back at it again. The arguing was non-stop and both were purposely getting at each other's throats. All memories of fondness and gratification had been buried deep down inside both of them, hidden from the harsh UV rays burning down from above.
They never agreed on anything, it seemed, except that they needed to stay together and keep traveling forward. Maybe it was just some subconscious other feelings buried deep down that caused the butting of heads. Or maybe not, they did hate each other, after all.
Often their arguments seemed pointless, about silly things such as walking pace, who would carry the stinking rotting mutant meat in their bags until they cooked it that night, and each other's names. This time, it was the latter.
They were sitting down on some rocks, not too far from a settlement of abandoned buildings. Today’s meal was Iguana on a stick, those poor unlucky lizards that happened to run into Maxxies gun. High-speed lead poisoning as she liked to call it.
The lack of walking and constantly scanning for danger ahead of them was leaving an empty space, perfect for thoughts of the Ghoul to creep in and infect everything she did.
Maxxie had become abruptly enthralled with the thought of his name. After the intimacy of interlinked fingers and saving his life, she felt that his true name was somewhat deserved. He never told her any other name apart from ‘The Ghoul’. Everyone she knew and had ever asked about it just told her the same. It was driving her to the brink of either madness or murder; or both!
“Ooh look at you! You're so cool and macho. You're 'The Ghoul'.” Maxxie held up some very exaggerated air quotation marks in front of his face, receiving a scowl in response. This just drove her even more insane. “No name! I can't believe you just have no name!” She was beginning to feel like she was going slightly loopy about him, for reasons unbeknownst to her conscious mind.
Despite her slowly depleting sanity, Maxxie continued. “There are a million other ghouls, and most of them are horrible and feral, remember the other day in the warehouse?” He did remember, she could see the bite marks indented into his jacket from that first feral ghoul that got him. ”You're just confusing everyone!”
Her face was growing more red and the iguana meat chunks were threatening to slide right off of the stick that was being frantically waved around in front of her face. She glanced down at the meat, which was now currently pointed directly at the Ghouls chest, then brought it back up to her face and ripped off a piece with her teeth. “Honethtly it’th jutht fucking annoying.”
The Ghoul made a disgusted face at her speech being muffled by the food and at a particularly gritty piece of iguana meat that came flying out of her mouth and landed in the fire a few feet away. His eyes followed the chunk of meat on its arc through the air, staring as the sound of sizzling grew louder.
Flickering flames reflected back into the Ghouls sunken eyes. Deep thought was brewing. The walls between them were being let loose, like floodgates releasing a wave of connection.
“I have a name.”
Oh.
Oh.
Maxxie didn't speak. The words were stuck, unable to come out. This moment was softer. His voice was gentle and somehow made her feel warm. The Ghouls gaze was still on the embers of the fire while Maxxies was on the tight lines around his mouth that portrayed the air of hesitation surrounding him.
“Cooper, it's Cooper. Howard I mean. Cooper Howard. At least that's what it was..uh.. Before.” His voice seemed to ring out and harmonise with the whistling wind. The name came out like a question, as if he hadn’t said it in years.
Maxxie just sat in shock for a while, letting the weight of his confession weigh down over everything. Finally she replied to him.
“I like that name, Cooper. Cooper, Cooper, Cooper, Cooper, Coop-”
“Shut up.” His gruff words cut off her sounding out the name. She could still taste the sound of the letters rolling over her tongue, musky with a lingering hint of sweetness. Just like him.
“You shut up, Cooper.” Maxxie loved their teasing banter. It kept things bearable on the long journey. And now she got to use his real name in actual responses. She felt that it was a whole new way of knowing him. It wasn't knowing a different person, no. Cooper Howard and The Ghoul were still the same person really. Cooper had just been buried under the collapsed rubble of all that came before. Before? What a strange thing to think about.
The question bubbled up and spilled over before Maxxie could reel it back in. “Hey, what do you mean by before?”
“It's nothing.” His voice was still low, but not final enough to stop her inquisition.
“No, no, no. It's definitely something. How long is before? Before we met, before you became a ghoul, or…before before?” The question trailed off and the word ‘before’ was becoming too repetitive and boring now.
The Ghoul- Cooper, had a distant look in his eyes, still not turned to face Maxxie. “Before before. Before everything.”
Maxxie’s next words were whispered, just about lost to background noise. “The bombs…”
“Yeah. the bombs.” Now his tone was becoming more final, a deep lilt forming and giving away pain and reminiscence. Maxxie observed quietly, not daring to let out any of her usual snark.
She kept her tone quiet as she spoke the next question. “How did you survive?”
Cooper kicked his feet in the sand and ash on the ground. “I didn't. I lost everything, and eventually lost my face and who I was. I'm not that man anymore. He’s long gone now.”
“You still remember his name- your name-, that's you enough aint it?” Maxxie got no reply. She looked away from his scuffing feet. “Anyways, I like you better as a ghoul.”
He still doesn’t reply. There isn’t even the sound of breathing. If she didn't know better, she would have thought he had walked away, never to come back. “I’m sorry, I can't even imagine what that would be like. Fuck, I don't even want to imagine. I'm sorry…Cooper.”
The name rings out more surely this time. Cooper nods, finally turning to look Maxxie in the eyes. He looks solemn, thinking back on the events of the past no doubt. With a tilt of his head, he gives another almost indistinguishable nod, thanking Maxxie.
The two of them sit in silence for a while. Maxxie chewing on her Iguana on a stick, Cooper dusting sand off of his clothing and organising the many weapons carried on his person. Time passes and somehow it’s become dusk.
The scenery looks quite beautiful. Vibrant oranges turn pink as they hit clouds, blending into a gradient of colours never found in anything the wasteland could sell or trade. The sunset was a rare commodity now, and Maxxie wouldn't give it away for anything.
So she sat there longer, blind to whatever the hell Cooper was doing now. She stared until her eyes got exhausted and her back sore from sitting so long. Her eyes drifted closed every now and then, jumping back open with a start when her head dropped down.
After god knows how long of nodding off and jerking back awake again, a voice beside her broke the rhythm.
“Y’know, that's getting real irritating. Either go to sleep or stay still.” With no luck, he just watches her bleary movements for a while longer until coming up with a compromise of sorts.
He didn't know why he made this final decision, but once it was said, there was no taking it back. “Just come sleep with me. C’mere. It’ll be better for both of us.”
Maxxie thought on it for a while, eyebrow quirking a little. Finally, she stretched out her weary limbs and shuffled over to Cooper. After a bit of maneuvering, they ended up leaning against each other. Maxxie resting against his chest, with one of his leather clad arms around her shoulder, keeping her held close.
It was calming for both of them, though neither would ever admit it. Maxxie drifts off easily, already tired from the past few days' events. He is warm and smells like leather and smoke.
The Ghoul stays awake longer, contemplating the situation that he had just caused. After lengthy deliberation he made the decision to just accept it. He had told her his name, why not let her into his personal space too.
Maxxie and Cooper got the best sleep that either of them had had in a long while.