Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Avery's Guide to Living with a Very Annoying Knight.

One: Avoid calling the knight annoying at all costs. He will give you the silent treatment for three days.

Two: Do not even write about the knight being annoying, he will stare at you from over your shoulder until you're forced to acknowledge him.

Three: Never, ever, ever point out when the knight is smiling. You may not see it from under his helmet, but you'll know when it happens.

Avery slowly turns to face D3r. A grin spreads across his face as he sees the knight.

"Are you laughing at me?" He asks.

D3r freezes, he sharply turns away from Avery.

"No."

It's been a week, or four days if you account for the time D3r spent ignoring Avery, and things have gotten a bit better.

D3r talks more now, and Avery's gotten used to a knight following him around the house. It's not "normal" by any means, but it works.

Avery's spent most of his day making a "list" off things about D3r, a guide of sorts! For…analysis, and absolutely not because he enjoys having another person around the house.


"Turning left" is still a bit of a touchy subject, same with whatever "he's watching" meant, but Avery tries not to be too pushy about it. In fact, he's somewhat gotten used to D3r's…cryptic-ness.


Avery leans over the couch slightly. He watches as D3r avoids his gaze and looks out the window; the knight remains deathly still.

"Y'know you can sit down, right?" Avery asks.

A slow creak can be heard from D3r's helmet as he turns to look at Avery, then at the "couch."

Avery feels judged again; He's starting to suspect that D3r is a very judgemental knight.


"…Those are—"

"Those are my beloved couches, D3r."

"They are crates with blankets draped over them." D3r observes.

Avery lets out a dramatic sigh as he falls against the couch with a dull splat.

"…You're so mean to me, D3r." He laments.


Avery fails to hide his smile as D3r finally, albeit reluctantly, joins him on the couch.

D3r is as quiet as usual. It took a few weeks for Avery to get used to the silence, but he's fine with it; he talks enough for the both of them.


"Hey, D3r?" Avery glances down at his very important book.

D3r tilts his head at him.

"Avery." He says.

Avery pauses to think, his brows furrowing slightly as he considers his "important" question.

"Can you gimme a word for…important?"


D3r is silent, Avery can only assume that he's the one thinking now. D3r thinks a lot, and Avery doesn't know if he loves or hates it. Sometimes the knight will spend entire hours just…lost in thought.


"…Imperative." D3r responds.

"Thanks, D3r!" Avery smiles.

Avery's Guide to Living with a Not-So Annoying Knight: CONTINUED!

It is imperative that you never ask the knight to take his helmet off; he will always decline, no matter what.

You may be wondering: "How does the knight eat? Or shower? Or sleep with the helmet on?" and my answer to that is: I don't know because he doesn't tell me anything.

"…You are side-eyeing me." D3r hums.

"Maybe I am." Avery looks at his book, then back at D3r; a look of faux-annoyance crosses his face.

Avery has never really understood D3r's…aversion to removing his helmet. He tries not to ask about it as much as he can, but sometimes his curiosity gets the best of him.

"…Hey, D3r—"

"No."

Avery gasps.

"Pleaseeeeee? I didn't even ask the question yet!" Avery pouts.


One of the good things about being a slime-hybrid is the opportunity for emotional manipulation. Avery morphs his eyes to be bigger solely to get an answer out of D3r.

D3r blinks at him.


"Avery."

"…Yeah?"

"No."

Avery quite literally deflates.

"Oh, come on! Taking off your helmet isn't going to kill you…"

Avery receives a poke to his arm. A poke. An actual touch from Mr. hates-touch-and-everything-knight.

"Your eyeball has moved to your arm." D3r states.

"Huh?" Avery springs up, he immediately looks toward his shoulder, inside of it floats a…very real looking eyeball. Avery doesn't look phased by it.

D3r watches intently as Avery moves the eyeball back to his face; it rests slightly lower than his actual eye.

"That one isn't yours, is it?" The knight asks.

"Oh? Uh, nah, it- it isn't." Avery stammers, suddenly looking embarrassed.

The story of how he got the eyeball is gross and embarrassing, plus it makes Avery reflect way too much…Avery is not one for reflecting! Come to think of it, he doesn't even remember how he got the eyeball, so there's no reason to dwell—

"Hm." D3r hums.

"Hm." Avery just confessed to having an actual eyeball in his slime that isn't his, and all D3r can say is "hm." Avery doesn't know if he should be relieved or bewildered.

"…Hm?" Avery repeats.

"I'm thinking." Wow. Such an amazing, appropriate, and not mind-boggling response from D3r! Avery wishes D3r understood sarcasm, because has many things to say.

D3r finally looks over at Avery, he frowns slightly; Avery can't see it but he can feel it.


"You are side-eying me again."

"…I am." Avery admits.

Avery's Guide to Living with a Knight: CONTINUED 2X!!!

Sometimes the knight will

wait he's staring at me again.

Avery can feel the eyes on him as he writes, a strange feeling of anxiousness overtakes him. Yeah, he's writing about D3r for fun, because he's bored, and that's all there is to it…But he doesn't want D3r to actually read it!


"Avery."

"Yeah, D3r? Uh, anything wrong? I'm, um, I'm talking too much—"

"You are." How helpful. D3r doesn't take his eyes off the book in Avery's hands.

"…Good to know." Avery wants to crawl into a hole and die.

"Is this about me?" D3r gestures to the book.

"No." Avery lies. Him being terrible at hiding his emotions is not helping right now; his slime droops further and further with every passing second.

"Hm."

Avery is going to keel over if he hears another "hm."

"M'not lying!" He lies, "I- I know other knights…"

A lopsided smile makes its way across Avery's face, which would be fine if his mouth wasn't literally drooping sideways.

D3r notices this.

"You are…melting." He says.

"I— Shut up!" Avery rushes into the kitchen; he opens the fridge and just…stands there as he waits to re-solidify.


D3r, of course, has to follow him.


"When'd you start walking into the kitchen?" Avery huffs, "It's a left turn." He crosses his arms in an attempt to look somewhat mad…He fails miserably.

D3r blinks at Avery…

"I don't know." He says.


Avery suddenly notices that D3r has his book. He already knows that D3r isn't one to laugh or make fun of him, but he panics regardless…Come to think of it, can D3r even laugh—

"Avery."

D3r is directly next to Avery now, he nudges him with the book a few times.

"Huh?" Avery asks, only for D3r to nudge him with the book again.

"Okay, okay, I'm taking it! Geez…" Avery huffs as he grabs the book. He watches as D3r leaves the kitchen.

"You're just gonna gimme the book and leave?"

D3r stops. He slowly turns to look at Avery and nods.

"Yes, I'm going outside."

Avery rolls his eyes in faux annoyance, looking back down at the book. Something new was there, something that Avery did not write…

Things about Avery

A guide

Avery has been writing about me for the past hour and fifteen minutes and I do not know why, but now I feel a strange obligation to write about him as well.

Avery is weird, but in a good way.

Avery melts when embarrassed or angry. I've never seen a slime do this in person; it's interesting.

Avery is strangely helpful; he keeps a collection of clothes for me in the left-hand side of his closet. I do not know why he does this.

Avery lets me live in his house for reasons still unknown to me.

Avery has a floating eyeball in his slime that acts as his left eye.

The eyeball has been there since I met him.

Avery got annoyed when I asked about the eyeball.

Avery is now glaring at me from where he sits at the fridge.

Those are the things I had to say about Avery, and he is still glaring at me.

Avery stares at the page, reading and re-reading the words at least five times. He feels seen in a way that should not make him feel this many emotions at once.

"Your handwriting sucks!" Avery calls out. The front door is open, he knows that D3r didn't go far.

D3r peeks his head into the house, he blinks at Avery once again.


"…That is a lie."