Chapter Text
Stop glancing at the fucking stairs, for Christ’s sake. They’re both fine, Apo knows they’re fine. She heard them set off on their own outing to town while she was painting the rocks, so this isn’t new.
Apo takes another peek at the stairs up to Cherri’s shop, where they’ve finally roped Legs into trying on clothes for them. There’s faint laughter from Cherri.
They’re fine, they can handle themselves, and they’re even home, which they weren’t the last time Apo wasn’t with them.
God, but god, what if something-
Calm down. Jesus.
Apo doesn’t know what’s wrong with them today. There’s a settling dread in their stomach, pulsing alongside the hunger, demanding their attention. Like the humans in the house will get hurt if they’re not there.
It feels like Martyn at the riverside, it feels like Avid on the bridge, or Cleo on the road back to town, or-
Focus, focus, they’re fine, they’re fine, they’re fine-
The doorbell buzzes. The one to the house, not Cherri’s shop, so Apo pads over and reluctantly creaks the door open.
She nearly slams it shut, but some amount of self preservation stills her clawed hand.
The man at the door is dressed differently, no butler outfit in sight, but the earrings are the same. Nothing visibly vampiric about him, yet it’s still-
“Apo,” Abolish greets with a polite nod. “Mind if I come in?”
Apo swallows. If she says no, then he can’t come in. That’s the rule. That’s how vampires work. But Abolish knows where Apo lives, and he has all those weird connections, and he was better than most to her at the end, so…
”Why are you here?” Apo asks rigidly. “Tell me that before I invite you.”
Abolish’s hands are in his pockets. “I was asked to check in on everyone from Oakhurst. Make sure you’re settling in okay.”
”Yeah, and stake me if I’m not, right?”
”There’s more than one way to handle things,” Abolish dissuades. “I’d rather not do more work than I have to.”
“Right,” Apo mumbles. “…Fine, you can come in. Just don’t do anything stupid.”
”Wasn’t planning on it.”
When Abolish steps over the threshold, Apo feels a chill run down her spine. God, she doesn’t know what to expect from him at all. Did she make a mistake? Why did she let him in?
Cherri and Legs are drawn to the main room by the noise. The former just has an intrigued, carefully polite look on her face while the latter…
Well, the pained look in Legundo’s good eye is as present as ever.
But at least they’re both here now.
”Abolish,” Legs greets, sounding a thousand miles away. Even his uncharacteristic outfit from spending time with Cherri doesn’t make up for the uneasy way he carries himself.
Abolish nods. “Hey, Doc. Thanks for saving me a trip.”
”You… Are you..?” Legs clears his throat. “I’m sorry. Abolish, I’m so sorry.”
”For what, exactly?” Abolish’s expression doesn’t change, but the question sounds genuine.
”You wanted so badly to be cured,” Legundo explains. “I’m sorry I failed to let you leave in the way you wanted.”
Something itches at Apo.
”Oh, don’t worry about that.” Abolish huffs. “Honestly, the extra paperwork didn’t even take as long as I thought it would.”
Jesus fucking Christ. Apo is definitely regretting this, but what can they do?
Cherri puts her hand forward. “So you’re an Oakhurst fella, then? I’m Cherri.”
Abolish shakes the hand politely. “Yeah, I know. Abolish.”
It feels wrong for them to meet. Nothing from Oakhurst should be skulking its way to Cherri.
…Yeah, that would include Legs and Apo, wouldn’t it? Whatever.
“So… Your organization or whatever makes you do cleanup?” Apo asks, feeling like she’s vibrating from the amount of tension in her body.
”Pretty much,” is Abolish’s reply.
Apo thinks about the weird letter. The one with the unfamiliar seal.
“It was you, right? You got me away from the military?”
Abolish states, “That’s part of it.”
“I…” Apo takes a second. “Thank you. I… mean that.”
Abolish just hums nonchalantly. Well, that’s a step up from people refusing to believe whatever Apo says.
”Can I get you anything? You’re a vampire, right? Do you want some blood?” Cherri asks.
”Uh, I wasn’t planning on staying for long,” Abolish dissuades.
”Please, Abolish,” Legs chimes in. “I don’t want to keep you, but I think we need to have a conversation.”
A sigh. “Okay. Then I guess… Anything you wanna know about being a vampire?”
God, it’s so dumb, but it’s the first thing to come to mind, so Apo blurts, “Will my hair go back to normal?”
You know what? No, it’s not dumb. Apo’s body was hers, and she deserved to know if it’d stay irrevocably changed beyond her control.
Abolish shrugs. “If you don’t get to a higher tier for about a century, then yeah.”
Apo sighs. “Then it won’t matter. Cherri’s gonna stake me when she’s at the end of her life.”
“Oh, okay,” Abolish replies simply.
“Make sure M knows,” Apo says shortly. “That he’s… that I’m not… He doesn’t have to stay like that forever.”
To have someone’s choice at being human again tied to her life. It sickens Apo.
“Sure thing.” Abolish tilts his head slightly to Cherri. “If I’m actually staying for a bit, then I’ll take that offer.”
Cherri grins. “Come with me to the kitchen, then!”
While Cherri takes Abolish to get some blood, Apo and Legundo get enough chairs for the living room.
“You’re planning to die with Cherri?” Doc asks slowly as he arranges a chair.
Apo stares. “Yeah. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” Doc assures. “I just… didn’t expect it. Most list immortality as a benefit of vampirism and don’t concern themselves with the implications of that.”
A scoff. “Yeah, well, I think we know by now I’m not your average vampire.”
“I think it’s impressive that you can recognize the consequences of living forever,” Legs praises with a small smile.
”…Thanks,” Apo mutters. “Just… Death is what gives life meaning, you know? I don’t want to live forever.”
Legundo dips his head calmly and states, “I couldn’t agree more.”
…Eugh. Legs’s tone settles wrong in Apo’s stomach.
Before Apo can think on it more, Cherri returns holding a tea tray, with Abolish in tow.
Apo grimaces at the twin teacups full of red liquid intended for themself and Abolish.
Everyone takes a seat.
Cherri personally passes the teacup to Apo. “Your medicine, madame,” she announces theatrically.
It’s become the word for blood ever since Legs first made the comparison. Cherri just kept saying it. Something you need but don’t like the taste of. Something that can be hard to get your hands on.
“Thanks,” Apo mutters.
“Oh, before I forget.” Abolish reaches into his jacket and pulls out an envelope. “Letter for you, Doc.”
“For me?” Legundo turns it over. His grip tightens as he reads the front of the envelope. “From Cleo?”
“Yeah. I had to check in on them and Pearl, and Cleo told me to give this to you,” Abolish explains.
Ugh… Apo tries to hide her unease. Cleo is still Legs’s friend, even if they’re not Apo’s anymore.
Or… were they ever? Cleo would probably say no. God.
“I…” Legs holds the letter almost reverently. “How are they?”
“Doing fine. Keeping an eye on Oakhurst. Staying out of the castle for now,” Abolish relays calmly.
“Do you know how everyone is?” Apo asks quickly.
Drinking from the cup, Abolish doesn’t react to the taste of blood. “Haven’t seen Sausage yet, but otherwise yeah.”
“So what’s happening with Scott?” Cherri asks.
Abolish makes a noise like he’s thinking. “Scott, Shelby, and Drift are traveling right now. I checked on them first. They’re fine.”
Of fucking course Shelby and Drift are with him. The betrayal festers alongside the worry.
“No one’s fine when they’re with Scott,” Apo grumbles.
“I’m making sure he keeps his word,” Abolish assures with a hint of disinterest in his tone. “That’s my job. He hasn’t hurt anyone since he left.”
“Hurt isn’t always visible. Think about Pyro,” Legundo argues. “Scott was dangerous for far more than his claws, and I was brought down by them enough times to know that. He brought others down to his level. Isolated his victims with a silver tongue. That’s not something to take lightly.”
“He’s a manipulative self-righteous bastard who hasn’t done shit to better himself,” Apo spits.
“I’m handling it,” Abolish says easily, clearly not intimidated by the amount of spite from Legs and Apo.
Unease pulses between Apo’s eyes. Fuck, after everything, after everything, that motherfucker is still out there.
Her stomach burns, but the sight of the red liquid in her teacup is too repulsive. It’s too normal, too clean, in agonizing contrast to what bloodlust does to Apo. Vampirism should never look this pretty.
Cherri observes and sips at her own tea. “If he ever steps over the line, and there’s time, you call us first to get the honor of killing him.”
Abolish nods noncommittally. “Will do.” He takes a moment for the conversation topic to be dropped. “Doc, you’re the only cure case we have, so it’d be a real help if you had any info about that.”
Legs perks up. “Of course. I’ve been writing observations in a journal, so you can copy those over for anything you need.”
“Cool.” Abolish glances between the three of them before settling back on Doc. “Should I assume you’ll still be here?”
Will he be?
“I… Yes, for now,” Doc answers hesitantly. “But how have you been holding up, Abolish? After everything that happened?”
Doc could get a gold medal in changing the subject.
“I’m fine,” Abolish answers. “The worst part has been all the post mission stuff, but it’s going alright.”
Legundo’s mouth is a thin line. “Are you sure? You… You don’t have to be fine. Oakhurst was hell for any of us.”
God, oh god. Apo’s so hungry.
“Doc, I’m actually fine.” Abolish tips his head flippantly. “Oakhurst was just another job. It wasn’t a big deal for me.”
Apo nearly knocks the table over when she stands. “I’m getting more medicine,” she tries not to hiss.
The back door slams open under her shoulder. She leaps to the chicken coop, stomach wailing and tearing, demanding flesh. Her claws extend.
Calm the fuck down, Apo-
What gives him the fucking right-
Blood. Blood in their mouth. It’s sickening and disgusting and she needs it, she’d do anything for it. If only the blood filling her stomach was the stale vampiric kind from the man in her house.
You can’t do anything to him-
They murdered us, took our bodies, took everything from us, and he’s letting-
Squawking crying necks snapping ripped apart noise noise noise more more they’re hungry they’re so fucking hungry and it’s not enough it’ll never be enough they’re dead and dying and clinging onto life while everyone watches and their throat is too full of red to call out but who would help them anyway?
What’s the point of getting angry? If you get angry you could hurt-
Shut the fuck up.
Sticky. Wet. Gross, ugh, everything’s clinging to her, the feeling of feathers clinging to her is so uncomfortable and Apo needs to rip her skin clean off her body.
Apo snaps back to herself without much upset. It’s more like someone snapping in front of your face. Throat closing up, Apo forces her eyes forward.
The coop is a gory mess. A few lonesome chickens cluck, mourning their fallen comrades. Viscera stains Apo’s looser clothes. The red will never come out of her hands. Apo licks her lips and nearly gags at the thick coating of blood around her mouth.
“Fuck,” Apo snarls. “Fuck. What did I do that for? I’m such a fucking idiot.”
Their head hurts with the sheer velocity at which they swing it to the house. Everyone’s inside.
Apo left them, she left Cherri and Legs-
“Oh, god, Cherri. Legs, what are they gonna-“ Apo breaks off in horror. “If Abolish sees me, I’m so dead. Fuck. Fuck.”
Abolish kills vampires that are out of control, and he says he has other methods, but if it’s easier to just put her down, then that’s what he’ll do. That’s how he works, isn’t it? Scott can worm his way out of any consequences, and he’s powerful enough to warrant interest from some big organization that makes weapons of people, but Apo?
Apo’s unlikable and a bad soldier. She’s deader than undeath.
It’s fine. It’s fine, everything is fine, Apo can handle this, they’ll just clean up and get back there and no one will notice but their clothes they can’t just show up with different clothes because someone will notice and if anyone notices then it’s over they’re dead they’re going to die after everything they did to get back here Apo can’t die they won’t because Cherri needs them Legs needs them it can’t end like this-!
Belatedly, Apo realizes she hasn’t done anything to fix things and has in fact curled up in a bloody ball outside the chicken coop. Great idea, Apo. This will definitely make everything better.
Just get clean. Just fucking handle it.
First, Apo hoses herself down. The coop is a bigger mess than she has time for, and Apo’s not convinced she won’t just go feral again and not bring herself back this time. Red drips down her skin and into the grass.
Next, the bathroom. God, Apo can’t go in there and see the lack of reflection in the mirror right now, but they have to get clean.
There’s no open windows, so Apo will just have to sneak by without anyone seeing them.
Upon opening the door back into the house, Apo nearly slams into Legs.
Fuck everything to hell.
“Apo?” Legs checks, eyebrows raised.
Apo got the worst of the liquid off, but she’s still stained. “I’m fine, it’s not my blood.”
…Wait, that was such a stupid thing to say-
But Legs just cautiously replies, “Medicine doesn’t always go down easy.”
God, Legs is supposed to keep Apo in check, or at least that’s why he thinks he’s staying so long. Does he think he’ll make it worse if he pushes her now?
“Where’s Abolish?” Apo nearly chokes on the short sentence.
“He left a little bit ago,” Legundo answers. “He gave us a list of advice for living as you are now.”
This isn’t living. This is in no way living. Apo just wants to be alive again.
“That’s… good,” Apo musters up.
“I’m… rather concerned about how he’s dealing with everything,” Doc admits. “You and I know better than anyone how easy it is to become a tool under an organization. The last thing I want is for him to walk my path.”
“He doesn’t even care that he’s a vampire now,” Apo mumbles hollowly. “I doubt he cares about that.”
“Vampirism is a difficult adjustment for anyone,” Legs states. “I’d imagine there’s more going on than he’d like to admit. Controlling yourself when you’ve been changed, even when you may have agreed to it, is no easy feat. But it is possible.”
“Easy for you to say,” Apo snaps. “You only had to be a vampire for a few hours!”
Surprise strikes Legundo’s face.
Apo barrels on. “I’m stuck like this! I don’t get the cure! You’re so fucking lucky and you don’t even care because you’re too busy waiting to kill yourself!”
A flinch.
But Apo is not fucking done talking. “We both know Abolish isn’t gonna do shit to Scott! He didn’t in Oakhurst, after everything that fucker did to me, to Pyro, to Drift and everyone else! Just as long as it’s fucking convenient for him, he’ll let Scott keep hurting people!”
The despair infects Apo like Scott’s bite, and the wrath still burns in her skin, but it’s muffled for a moment.
“I hate Scott.” Apo nearly bites through her bottom teeth. “I hate him. I want him to die. I want to kill him.”
Silence, except for Apo’s body attempting to cry properly.
“He…” Apo puts her face in her hands. “He won. He fucking won.”
“Apo…”
There’s a hand on her shoulder. She jolts and shoves herself away, fangs chattering.
“…Even if he won,” Legundo says slowly. “You didn’t lose. You made it home.”
A beat. Apo peeks out through her fingers.
Legundo’s eyes are wide, palms raised, one foot backwards, like he’s dealing with something unstable. Something like Owen.
Apo wants to vomit up the chicken blood. She wants to make a mess, she wants more food, she wants to take some pliers and rip out her fangs-
At the moment, Apo’s home makes her entrance.
“Did I hear yelling?” Cherri asks, then pauses.
When she takes in the scene, Cherri crosses to Apo’s front. At first, Cherri reaches for Apo’s hands, but Apo backs away.
Cherri scrutinizes Apo and blinks slowly. “I was just gonna do some sewing. Do you want to watch me?”
Without thinking, Apo lets out a low growl.
“Okay. Okay. You do what you need to, darling,” Cherri assures somewhere a world away.
Outside. Apo needs to get out. She needs to move. Her feet feel like they’re in quicksand, but she starts marching.
Apo’s hearing goes fuzzy after that, but she catches Cherri saying, “Legs, how about we make dinner?”
Why can’t she eat with them? Why can’t she be human again?
Doc argues, “Are you sure we can let her-“
Get out now.
Moving, she’s moving until she’s outside and then she’s airborne. Apo bursts into a swarm of bats and races to the collection of stones in the backyard. It’s hard to think, but she zeroes in on the one covered in poppies. Bloody tears trail down over the rock and into the grass.
The stone has been warming up in the sun all day, and when Apo curls her tiny body on top of it, it feels like the ghost of herself is embracing her.
-
---
-
Much later, Legundo finds her like that. Apo thought she would’ve transformed back ages ago, but she’s still a bat, clinging onto her grave.
She hears him lower himself into the grass next to her, and before he can say anything, she forces the apology out of her throat. Better to get that out of the way.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I acted like you didn’t get it,” she blurts raspily. “You do. I hate that you do, but you do.”
“It’s alright, Apo. I don’t blame you.”
“I’m really glad you got cured. I mean it. I am,” Apo says quickly.
“I know. I believe you,” Legs promises.
Ever the peacemaker. It was the same way in Oakhurst. Apo wonders how much Legs means anything he says. How much of him is just falling back on pleasantries to keep her in her own head? Is he worried that if he gets her worked up, she’ll lose control?
Well, great job, Doc. That totally worked today.
Maybe if he barked at her the way he could in Oakhurst, this would feel more real.
“We want you to know we’re not upset about the chickens. Today was taxing, moreso than usual,” Legundo assures further.
“Um… Thanks,” Apo replies before they ruffle their wings. “Oh god, I growled at Cherri.”
Legs huffs. “I think you’d be surprised how… well she took to that.”
“Jesus,” Apo mumbles into the rock.
Delicately, Legs peels her off, and Apo doesn’t resist. She’s so tired.
Thankfully, Legs’s cupped hands are warm. God, he’s alive. He’s real.
“Didn’t want you sticking to your grave,” Legs says lightly.
Apo makes some kind of sound that could be a laugh in another universe. “God, I probably cried out everything I ate.”
“Would you like more now? Just to feel a little safer?” Legs asks.
A sigh spills out of Apo. “I probably should. Do you have a bottle?”
”I was thinking something a little more filling,” Legs offers before nudging Apo’s head into his palm.
Apo blinks up at him. “Seriously? After today? You’re sure?”
Legs’s lip quirks upwards. “I figured it’d be the safest time to try, given your current stature.”
Hungry. So tired. Ugh, Jesus- “Fine,” Apo mutters. “Thanks.”
Hesitantly, Apo opens her maw and secures Doc’s flesh under her fangs. Doc doesn’t even twitch.
Great, so now that they’re not in a rage-induced haze, they actually have to taste the awful blood. Go figure.
But… as they start lapping up Doc’s blood, Apo’s nose twitches. Doc’s blood is… different. It startles them into backing up and sealing up the wound before they’ve had much at all.
”You need more than that,” Legs admonishes. “It’s okay.”
Apo shakes her head. “I don’t want to.” Not with weird mystery blood.
Shivering as Doc’s fingers brush against the back of Apo’s head. “Just let me help you.”
What is… Apo hears Doc’s heartbeat going way faster than usual. She glances up.
Doc’s good eye spirals with shame, with guilt, with something so violently pleading that Apo’s shocked out of her bat form. She crawls away and lands on the grass next to him.
Legs’s shoulders square in surprise. “Apo?”
“Stop- Stop looking at me like that!” Apo bites. “You’re not using me as your fucking penance!”
Abject shock. Legs’s expression cycles until it lands on familiar guilt. “I… I’m sorry. You’re… You’re right. I shouldn’t have…”
Like Apo’s some kind of punishment for him. Like they’re just a vessel for his pain. Apo stands and brushes themself off.
”I need to change my clothes,” they mutter.
”I’m sorry,” Legs repeats.
”It’s…” Apo can’t say it. “Just don’t use me like that again.”
God, they need a fucking bath.