Chapter Text
Though intimidating, Illuga felt no need to suppress any thoughts that might arise throughout his day while Sir Flins was around. Not that doing that would be very easy anyway– impossible for an overthinker like the young master. In fact, Illuga knew how to use this newfound knowledge to his advantage.
Of course, he had to scheme when Flins wasn’t around because there wasn’t a split second when his thoughts were individual when he was around. Since Flins had fun silently listening to every unsaid word that circled in Illuga’s brain for archons knew how long, it was only fair that Illuga got to have his fun as well.
For such a spooky and mysterious guy, it proved quite easy to change that deathly pale complexion into one that resembled the hues of the dusk light when the sun began to lower. Illuga was simply just curious about how far he could press those buttons and what the result of that would be.
It didn’t take much convincing to push Flins into attending another one of Miss Aino’s classes since he wanted to be wherever Illuga was. So if that meant sitting through the class he always managed to get out of, then he would do it. And Illuga’s plan was smoothly set in motion.
Rather than sitting at Flins’ side, he took the seat directly across from him. Of course, the meeting was as bare as it always was. The only other attendees were the ratniks who couldn’t come up with a good excuse to ditch this week's lesson. The spot next to Flins was left vacant. As soon as Illuga sat down, Flins’ brows wrinkled in confusion with a question that did not need to be vocalized. In response to the already frazzled lightkeeper, he offered his sweetest smile.
He knew this would prompt Flins to tune out anything Ineffa– whose creator, for the third week in a row, seemed to be missing and definitely not currently hiding while indulging in treats she got distracted by– could possibly be lecturing about, and only focus on him. Illuga– who never pays any attention to these classes– happened to be suddenly very interested in what was being taught. He pointedly kept his focus away from his partner. He could feel that longing gaze for attention that Flins gave him for a few moments before giving up.
Flins, Illuga thought. From his peripherals, he could see those golden eyes shining right into him once again. Bingo. A tiny smirk replaced the poker face he was trying to maintain. If I could grab you by that ridiculously oversized collar and make out with you until you were gasping for air right now– I would. Illuga innocently tapped his pen against his chin as if he wasn’t about to drive the poor fae mad.
The pupilless eyes of his boyfriends darted away in an instant, but it didn’t hide the incoming colour on the tip of his pointy ears.
When I sleep, I dream about those pretty noises you accidentally let slip from time to time.
At any point, Flins could tune out of the teasing messages Illuga was sending him. That would be the smartest option after all.
Illuga licked his lips. Do you want to know what I taste like?
Flins crossed his arms over his chest and sank into the cowl he routinely wore to hide the half of his face that had fallen victim to the red colour that had conquered his cheeks.
Remember the delicious leftovers of the pie we made last night? I’d say my mouth currently tastes exactly like that.
Flins’ gloved fingers tapped one by one on his arm.
You’re cute when you hide your face like that.
You could always stop listening, you know.
Or do you not want it to stop?
Flins’ leg began bouncing up and down impatiently. Illuga’s cheeky grin only grew. He shrugged his shoulders just enough for his coat to fall ever so slightly off its normal resting spot. The laser-sharp gaze on the sliver of skin could nearly burn him if it were possible. If teasing was his gasoline, then Flins was certainly on fire.
You want a bite?
It was amusing how long Flins was allowing Illuga to carry on, and it was the perfect fuel to feed the flames.
I know you want a piece– and you can’t do anything about it right now.
He watched the apple in Flins’ throat bob as he swallowed. He dropped his chin to his chest and looked away once again.
You’re pretty when you’re flustered, did you know that?
I want to sit on you and kiss you as if the world were to end today.
Illuga faked an overdramatic frown; If you keep looking like that, I might end up forgetting how to behave. He looked him up and down. He had to cover his own face to stifle a laugh– and to conceal the fact that he reflected Flins’ skin like a mirror.
I want you to want me.
In a sudden burst of movement, Flins stood from his seat. He cleared his throat, “Ah, my deepest apologies for the interruption, Miss Ineffa, but the young master and I have an important meeting we must be in attendance for very shortly.” He put his hand over his heart and politely delivered her his signature noble bow (so that maybe she wouldn’t lecture them about scheduling, excuses, and leaving mid-class when they run into her again).
“We do-?!” Illuga’s words were cut short by the frantic, taller lightkeeper grabbing his hand and tugging him out of his seat. They paid no mind to what Ineffa had to say in response to the (lame and overused) reason for their early departure.
Flins walked ahead of him rather than by his side. His strides were much faster than Illuga’s, given the height difference. Illuga’s quizzical expression morphed very quickly into a smug smirk, knowing exactly what he had done and exactly what winning prize was waiting for him at the end of their journey. In times like now, Illuga wished he were the one able to hear the others' thoughts. Because Flins was very quiet as he led them to Illuga’s office. All he got from the agonizing walk was simply a gloved pinkie linked with his own.
Flins finally opened his mouth once the office door was shut and locked. The flushed colour on his face remained just the same as it was during the class. “What has gotten into you, Illuga?” his question was a bit muffled as his teeth were preoccupied with slipping the leather gloves off his own hands. The ask lacked the usual formal title Flins would rarely not refer to him as.
Illuga crossed his arms over his chest, and he had a sense of an overly cocky pride. After a few weeks of being official, he was finally able to break Flins. To really find that weak spot he had only seen little of. In his mind, he was proudly patting himself on the back for the completion of a successful mission. “I was just bored,” he lied. It was a very thought-out plan, actually.
Flins spun around on his heels to finally look the perpetrator of the taunting in the eyes. To put an end to his companion's inflated ego, he immediately went straight for his lips. With every pushy kiss, Illuga stepped back in an attempt to keep the balance. He ran out of room to walk any further when his back hit the (surprisingly clean) desk that took over half the office. Flins, though, did not stop stepping forward until Illuga was using his arms to keep steady as he bent further backwards over the furniture. As taken back as he was, he reciprocated Flins’ affections just as harshly.
He used his forearms to support the predicament they found themselves in. Illuga’s coat no longer covered more than just the arms that were trapped on the desk.
The hungry glint in Flins’ eyes was something he had never seen before. Something new and exciting. Flins hovered over him, one hand with a grip on his jaw and the other close to Illuga’s own. He could see Flins’ pulsing heart through golden eyes only he could read. He could see every thought that was racing inside as if he could almost hear them.
Flins moved to start feathering kisses down his jaw, to the little neck that was not hidden under his turtleneck, and on the exposed shoulder. Illuga shivered with what was at first ghostly pecks that turned more desperate after every one.
“Bored?” Flins questioned without removing his lips very far from his skin. A deep, arrogant snicker rumbled in his chest before stepping away from the lightkeeper, whom he “accidentally” had bent over on the desk behind them. His admiring gaze travelled up and down a breathless body he successfully created.
When Flins didn’t return to his position, Illuga shot him an impatient glare through hazy eyes. He reluctantly pushed himself off the tabletop with an unamused grumble. He let his coat fall to the floor without a care in the world–he could always wash it later. There were much more important matters to attend to at the current moment.
“Was what you spoke of a promise or merely just a way to get out of a boring lesson?” Flins very well already knew the answer, but he wanted to drag it out of the young master and hear those thoughts come to life.
Illuga wasn’t having any of it.
Before Flins was finished unbuckling and removing his cowl entirely, Illuga was pulling on his already unbuttoned collar of the purple shirt he wore underneath, so their lips could return to where they belonged.
Does it matter?
Flins hummed his satisfied reply without pulling away. Instead, he let Illuga have his way. He did promise he would do anything his young master wanted him to do after all. He allowed Illuga to push him into the seat they once sat in all those weeks ago when this relationship first began, but was quick to tug him onto his lap. Before returning to Illuga’s promise, he grabbed both his hands in his own and slipped the gloves off with his teeth. Once they were tossed to the side, he politely kissed his knuckles, never breaking their intense eye contact.
When Illuga grabbed both sides of Flins’ face, he took that as permission for his own hands to find their home on his waist. Illuga bit on Flins’s bottom lip, begging to be let inside to explore. Flins could feel his tiny grin when the sounds he confessed to dreaming about filled the room. The grin turned to an overdramatic frown when he had to catch his breath.
But it did not stick long after Flins found the perfect spot on his partner's neck to leave his signature.
-
Something was off.
Very off.
He swore he had to be hearing things.
Alone in his study, rain tapped on the roof of the room he was in. The wind the storm birthed would not be letting up anytime soon. So, Illuga took this as his opportunity to catch up on the paperwork he had somehow gotten behind on. He had to blame the clingy fae who accompanied him often. He was a very distracting man after all.
It was dim, the only light coming from the lantern on his desk, which he certainly needed to replace the candle inside sometime soon.
Speaking of lanterns, where was his fae anyway? It was a good thing he wasn’t around to drag Illuga out of his focus, but that didn’t stop him from missing him. And maybe so he could accompany him on the walk home during such a ruthless night. Maybe.
I miss him. I wonder where he may be on a night like this… Certainly not at camp.
Illuga nearly jumped out of his seat as he heard very quiet sentences being mumbled in his brain. There was absolutely no one else in the room with him. Nor did anyone dare stand outside in the ruthless weather. Not a single soul lingered near him. Had his conscience grown a mind of its own? He certainly did not think these thoughts himself.
No.. Perhaps laid up in bed, finally getting the rest I asked of him?
Illuga blinked in utter disbelief. It did not sound remotely similar to the voice that usually consumed his brain.
He’ll be hungry, I’m sure of it. Maybe I’ll bring…
The voice trailed off into nothingness. An empty phrase left to never be completed. It would be a ridiculous idea to believe that voice was in fact someone else's. He did not possess the capability to telepathically communicate; he was just a human. He was just Illuga, the squad leader. Illuga the lightkeeper and Ratnik alike. Not some crazy mind-reading wizard.
He remembered Flins commenting on how exhausted he had been looking recently and demanded that he get rest before experiencing the effects of sleep deprivation.
That made the most sense. He was so whipped for his own lightkeeper that he was hallucinating the idea of him suddenly coming to visit. He shook his head and laughed to himself very quietly. He felt silly for even considering that he might have actually heard what Flins (who wasn’t even around) was thinking about. He was a little obsessed with the idea of being able to do that, though, so that would explain why it manifested into exhaustion caused hallucinations.
That was his sign to give it up and call it a night.
Not because he was scared at all…
Before he finished stacking his papers in a not-so-neat pile, the door handle began shaking as someone was messing with it. Flins walked in not a moment later with a bowl in his hand and his signature smile that, despite how tiny it was, wrinkled the skin around his eyes. An umbrella hung from his wrist, dripping water onto the floor. Illuga’s brows rose in surprise.
“Oh, Flins,” Illuga greeted. His eyes flickered between the mysterious bowl and his partner's beautiful face. “I was just about to head out.”
“Well, then, I am delighted to have caught you, Master Illuga.” He set the food on the desk and bowed nobly.
Illuga snickered at the gesture before taking his seat once again. “You know you don’t have to call me that, right? We are dating after all.”
“I know.”
“And you certainly did not have to make such a trip in rain like this,” Illuga noted, though he was more focused on the aroma of the pleasantries Flins had brought him.
For you, My Love, I would do anything.
“Well, we are dating after all, aren’t we?” Flins repeated half jokingly. “I am sure you would do the same.”
Illuga froze in his spot. He looked as if he had seen the most terrifying ghost a man could ever lay eyes on. This place wasn’t haunted, right? And completely messing with his mind? “My Love”. They hadn’t even said anything like that to each other yet! Was it selfish to hope that these hallucinations were Flins’ actual thoughts? Is that what he wanted to call him instead?
It was strange, too, that Flins was not reacting to what he was thinking about.
Flins quirked his head to the right. “Is everything alright, Illuga?” he asked innocently.
“What– Um, what, what did you say?” Illuga stammered as he shook his head and fluttered his eyelids a few times. He definitely misheard him.
He must be tired.
Flins’ smile was understanding and kind. He removed the top of the bowl of food to reveal his very own copy of Illuga’s most anamoured soup. Illuga looked like he could have melted simply just from the smell alone. “Ah, I only said ‘Bon Appétit’.” He served the young and starving squad leader his meal.
Oh, how much I love you.
Illuga’s breath hitched, and he choked on the spoonful of soup he had just put in his mouth. He coughed a few times, hitting his chest with a soft fist.
Flins furrowed his brows in concern. “Is it bad?”
Illuga waved his hand in front of his face–partially to hide the raging heat that immediately took over his cheeks. “No,” he coughed, “No, no. It’s delicious.. Thank you,” he spoke almost robotically. He was not as good as Flins was at hiding the fact that he could hear his every thought, for archons knew how long.
Because that certainly was not the wind. He was hearing His thoughts. It was a terrifying realization, one that could not be explained whatsoever. Flins did not avert his gaze once; he only stared in silence.
Was he dreaming? He must be dreaming. He was sound asleep, and this was just a very odd dream. Developing some strange, magical power does not happen in the real world. Unless it was a vision, of course. But his geo vision could not grant him an otherworldly superpower.
“Pinch me, Flins,” Illuga spoke almost too quickly for Flins to understand.
When he did, “Pinch you? Now, why would I do that?”
Illuga’s laugh was nervous, and he curled in on himself. Maybe he was thinking about things he wanted Flins to tell him instead of what was actually leaving his mouth.
“Uh–Never mind, that was… that was a stupid request,” he spoke hoarsely, still doing his best to hide his nervous wreck of a face. “How was,” he cleared his throat, “how was your day?”
“Boring without you.”
Much better now.
“Oh..! Was it?” Illuga’s words were still oddly stiff. “Well, heh, I’m here now! Or– you’re here.. Now…!”
“Your mind is quiet, and yet your words are so loud. Is something the matter?” Flins inquired.
Illuga was certain his mind was anything but silent at this moment. What on Teyvat was going on? Flins, the mysterious fae who apparently could hear every single thing Illuga could never find the courage to say, couldn’t hear him?
“Oh, um, no. No, just not a lot on my mind,” he lied through gritted teeth.
“You always have a lot on your mind.”
My love, you look awfully tired. Sick, maybe? We need to get you to bed.
“I’m not tired!”
Flins didn’t speak for a few moments. They didn’t speak for a few moments.
“I believe if you have to say that, then you certainly mean the opposite.” Flins leaned over the desk to raise a degloved hand on his boyfriend's forehead.
Illuga swatted his hand away, “And I’m not sick! I’m actually amazing. It’s really amazing you made this for me, and that you came all this way,” he gushed. “You’re amazing.”
The corners of Flins’ mouth twitched back into his original, lovesick smile. “You should come back with me,” he proposed.
Illuga shrugged, “How could I refuse an offer like that? As long as you keep the umbrella over my head this time.” Flins had the tendency to get too distracted by the shorter male, so that sometimes he’d forget there was an umbrella in his hand. He would forget that it was raining when he became too infatuated with “ideas” he wanted to share with his boyfriend in private.
Flins dropped his head with a sweet chuckle, “Of course.”
Does he know how mad he drives me? How deeply I love him more than I have ever loved anything in this world?
Of course, he knew that. Illuga rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything in response. Maybe he could use this to his advantage, the same exact way Flins did to him.
-
It was warm in the lighthouse. Flins had the fireplace lit, and its flames roared wildly over the burning wood. On the couch, the two of them lay cuddled up on one another. A soft, furry blanket draped over Illuga’s body, and his head used Flins’ shoulder as a comfortable pillow.
As quiet as Flins seems to be, his mind is loud. And most of his thoughts were concerned with Illuga. Illuga seemed to be an infestation in his mind that he refused to ever get rid of.
For why Flins hasn’t confessed that he loves him? Illuga can’t seem to figure that part out–and he knows Flins better than anyone else could ever dream of. There are no clues in that overworking brain of his.
Is he still cold?
He looks very pretty like this.
Does he know he looks pretty?
Illuga buried his face in the crook of his pillow's neck as Flins showered him in unspoken compliments.
Should I tell him?
Flins cleared his throat, “You’re very pretty like this, Illuga.”
Illuga had to stifle his laugh. Now he was the one who knew what his other half was going to say before he said it. It didn’t prevent the scarlet paint from brushing his cheeks when he complimented him. It was different hearing it in his head compared to hearing it out loud.
I love it when he does that.
I love when he does anything.
If the world were to go dark right now, he would be the only light I would seek for an infinity if I had to.
Iluga’s grip on Flins’ hand tightened while listening to the spew of romantic words float around inside both their minds.
If the world were freezing over, I know it would be Illuga’s warmth which saves me.
And if this world tore into two, I would not stop searching for the lighthouse in which will guide me back home.
Illuga’s head shot up, and Flins’ eyes widened at the sudden jerk. And the missing safety on his shoulder seemed to upset him. He didn’t have to express that for Illuga to be able to recognize it.
“Do you mean it?” Illuga whispered.
Flins quickly noticed the tears forming in the others' eyes. He reached out to grab Illuga’s face, cupping his cheek, and rubbed it soothingly. “Yes, of course. I mean every word I say to you. Why wouldn’t I?”
Illuga melted easily into the comforting touch. “No..not that.”
“Not what? My dearest, are you feeling alright?” Illuga grabbed Flins’ free hand and let it rest over his heart. Flins, though confused and a little frustrated that he had no idea what Illuga was thinking about, did not object. He simply followed his master's moves. He touched Illuga with all the love and care in the world.
“Flins,” Illuga murmured almost inaudibly into his partner's hand, planting the softest kisses he possibly could.
Flins, Illuga thought. When he saw Flins quirk his head in interest, signaling that he’s listening, he continued: Flins, I can hear you.
As bashful as that man could be, he had never seen his face explode in reds and pinks as rapidly as it did. If Flins hadn’t been pouring his heart out to him in his head, Illuga would’ve laughed at him.
“What?” Flins said breathlessly out loud in disbelief. “How?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh.. For how long..?”
Illuga smirked now, gazing at him amusingly. “All day. Even when you weren’t around. I could hear you.”
Flins seemed to be dumbfounded. He recovered fast enough to respond, “I love you, Illuga. It’s true. I have found my hopes and dreams within you. You have become the hand I long to hold on nights I end up alone. You are the one who guides me home. You are my home, my love.”
Illuga couldn’t prevent his tears from escaping. He launched himself into his boyfriend's arms and held on to him as tightly as any human of his size could. Flins returned the favor. He planted deep kisses all over his head, took in the scent of rain that coated his hair, and cherished every second of the moment.
“I love you, Flins. I never thought…,” Illuga’s voice trailed off instead. There was nothing he needed to say now. No worries or doubts in his mind that Flins may feel anything opposite of what he felt.
They sat like that for a very, very long time. They hugged each other as if it were the last hug that would ever be given in all of Teyvat. They hugged as if they would slip away into nothingness if they let each other go.
They were each other's ground, their walks of life. Every hardship, every path, every journey they had ever taken lay in fate's hands to create this very moment. To create every future moment that awaits them as the river of time flows on.
Flins broke the comfortable silence first and repeated, “How?” He had never seen anything like the miracle his boyfriend had been given.
Did I have something to do with this? Or have the gods blessed you with a gift no other human has ever received?
As Flins pondered, his eyes were drawn to a purple glow that hid on Illuga’s neck, hidden by his hair. When Flins stopped thinking, the glow faded away.
“Illuga,” Flins tapped his back and helped raise him back into a seating position. He dusted the hair covering the mysterious light source and pulled his turtleneck down ever so slightly. “Oh.”
“What? What’s wrong?” Illuga sounded panicked, afraid of Flins’ astonished expression. Flins’ vision bounced between the bruise he left on Illuga’s neck the night before, then back to Illuga’s worried eyes.
He smiled proudly at his work. He tapped the tender spot light enough for Illuga to feel the area of swelling a greedy man had created there. He had no idea exactly how this lover's bite allowed Illuga an ability no human should be forced to burden, but as long as the owner didn’t mind, it wasn’t so bad after all.
Illuga kissed that smug smile, biting on his bottom lip softly while pulling back. “Well,” Flins began, “this just gives me more of an excuse to crave the taste of you,” he hummed, a hint of mischievous intention gleaming in his (suddenly very inspired) golden irises.
Illuga didn’t entirely get it, but nonetheless, he certainly didn’t mind it. He cocked an eyebrow in suspicion and thought, Is that a promise?
Flins carded his hands through silky grey hair and pushed their foreheads together. Why would I ever break my promise to you? I would do anything and everything for you for the rest of eternity.