Chapter Text
Three days.
Stiles hid from everyone for three days.
It wasn’t a reaction. It wasn’t a strategy.
He simply convinced himself that he didn’t want to see anyone.
He got Mrs. McCall’s and Isaac’s work schedules from his father, and on the second day, when neither of them was there, he went to the emergency room to have his knees checked.
Thankfully, it was only a minor bruise.
As effective as his pen was, it couldn’t heal him on its own.
There was one missed call from Derek on his phone.
Only one.
That was Derek, though.
Him accepting a no meant he didn’t want to bother him any further. Ugh. As if loving him wasn’t already difficult enough, he had to go around acting all noble and considerate too...
He listened to the message from Lydia.
"Stiles, I heard what happened. And for some reason, I’m not surprised. I’m sure you aren’t either. There was actually a betting pool going around about when you and Derek would finally get together, so I hope you make me some money. Anyway, I read your book. There are a few things that can be improved, but overall, I really liked it. You have my green light. Let’s meet, talk about it, and celebrate."
Stiles couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
His book was going to happen. He was going to publish a book. His father would be so happy.
And Derek...
He wasn’t surprised that Derek was the first person he wanted to call.
But this time, he didn’t know what he would do.
The best thing to do in situations like this was to do what he did best.
Ignore it.
He quickly got ready and headed toward the loft.
Everyone was there today. It was a good way to see everyone at once and convince them that he was fine.
As he climbed the loft stairs, he let out a small groan of pain. He wasn’t going to fool any wolf.
Just as he was about to pull the door open, Derek acted before him.
"You're in pain."
It wasn’t a question.
Just like always.
Stiles studied Derek. He looked exhausted. Tired. Sleep-deprived. His short black hair was messy, as if he had been constantly running his hands through it.
The ocean depth that usually existed in his eyes had been replaced by a calm green forest.
And the dark circles beneath his eyes were impossible to miss.
"I’m fine."
Stiles said it simply, and without adding anything else, he walked past him and entered.
The whole pack was there.
Everyone immediately surrounded him, asking if he was okay. Isaac scolded him for going to a hospital when he wasn’t there. Erica lightly hit him on the head.
And Scott hugged him tightly. Allison patted his back, and Boyd smiled at him.
Home.
A family.
A place where he belonged.
That was always how he felt around his pack.
They were the most valuable people he had in this life.
"I went to the hospital, but you weren’t there." Stiles said carefully, making sure he wasn’t lying. Lying in a room full of wolves would be stupid.
No matter how much he threw himself into the pack activities, he was always aware of Derek.
As if a part of him was constantly keeping track of where the Alpha was.
Derek, on the other hand, never hid it.
He had not taken his eyes off Stiles since he entered. Watching him sit. Stand. Eat. Drink. Move. Everything.
As if he was waiting for something.
Stiles started feeling guilty. But he had to stop himself. Derek wasn’t the one who was right. He was.
When the group slowly began to leave, Stiles didn’t stay behind like he usually did.
He left with Scott and Allison.
As he walked away, he didn’t miss the silence of the pack.
Or the pain in Derek’s eyes.
~~
That evening, Stiles felt too awful to cook, so he left dinner to his father and retreated to his room early.
After having a video call with Lydia, he started working on his book again.
Lydia had given him a list of sections he needed to work on and highlighted the parts that needed editing.
He was completely absorbed in his work when he heard the tapping on his window.
Something he expected. But still, it startled him.
He considered ignoring it. But he wasn’t that cruel. He opened the window and silently returned to his chair.
Derek entered without saying anything.
He watched Stiles for a moment before sitting on his bed. His hands were clasped between his knees. He looked like a child who had been scolded.
And somehow, even like that, he still managed to look incredibly attractive.
Stiles broke the silence. "I’m angry at you. Very angry. Thinking that you hid this from me... That you knew all this time..." His voice softened. "You can’t imagine how hurt I am, Derek."
Derek sighed. It was obvious he had expected this. For a long time, he said nothing. "I thought I was protecting you, Stiles."
"That’s not enough of a reason."
"I know."
Derek looked down. "But it was the right thing to do."
When Stiles heard him stand and move closer, his entire body went rigid. He stopped pretending to work. He crossed his arms over his chest.
"I was going to tell you. I even thought about how I would say it." Derek’s voice was quiet. "I was going to take you out to dinner first." He laughed humorlessly. "Then, while we were walking, I was going to explain what you meant to me." He became quiet.
Then almost whispered, "But I never got the chance." A pause. "I’m sorry."
Even though his eyes filled with tears, Stiles turned toward him. He didn’t need to hide his feelings anymore.Everything between them was obvious.They were two idiots who loved each other.
But this time, things weren’t that simple. The heartbreak was still too fresh. And Stiles wasn’t ready to forgive him yet. "Derek, I wasn’t waiting for a dinner. Or a walk." His voice trembled. "I just needed you to be honest."
Derek flinched. "I know. Like I said, I was going to tell you." He swallowed. "Stiles, when Lydia called and told me you hadn’t gone to meet her, and that your Jeep was still in the work parking lot..." His voice broke. "I don’t remember ever being that afraid."
A breath. "I was so scared of being too late. Of losing you before I could tell you."
Stiles turned his head away and let the tears fall. He stood up and stepped into Derek’s personal space. They were so close. Close enough to share the same breath. But they still didn’t touch.
"Derek, I was scared too." His voice cracked. "When they said they were going to kill you, I was scared even though I didn’t even know I was your mate."
He was close enough to hear Derek’s heartbeat. Close enough to breathe in that unique, magical scent. "I know you love me." A pause. "I... I love you too."
A sharp breath.
"But I don’t know what to do right now." His voice became smaller. "I don’t know what to do with these feelings. With all of this." He rested his head against Derek’s shoulder. Derek could have lifted his arms and held him, if he wanted. But he didn’t do it.
As if he somehow knew Stiles didn’t want that.
"I love you more than I have ever loved anything." Stiles whispered the confession. "And that’s why it hurts this much."
He noticed Derek start trembling. The fact that he was still holding himself back was almost impossible. But not surprising. The Alpha’s control had always been something to admire. Yet now, it felt like that control was about to shatter.
"Stiles..." Derek whispered only his name. But his voice revealed everything.
Pain.
Longing.
Guilt.
Stiles pulled away and looked into those wounded eyes. For a moment, he allowed himself to look at Derek’s lips. To wonder what would change if he kissed him right now. Derek simply waited. Still as a statue. But more full of emotion than he had ever been. Stiles had never seen him this open.
It was like looking into a mirror.
Like seeing his own feelings staring back at him.
"I don’t know what to do with you, Derek." He whispered.
He couldn’t look away from his eyes. His heart was breaking. Begging him to crash into Derek’s arms.
But this time, he didn’t listen to his heart.
"Just tell me you’re okay." Derek’s voice was desperate. "Tell me they didn’t hurt you. Tell me they didn’t do anything to you." A pause. "Just your knees and your face, right? Otherwise, I’m going to lose my mind, Stiles."
So this was what being mates meant. Stiles understood now. He knew he could never truly say no to Derek forever. How could he? When he was his mate. When he was this good.
God.
Stiles loved him so much.
"Just my knees and my face." He found himself saying it.
And he watched Derek visibly relax. Derek nodded to himself. Thoughtful. Still processing. But somehow lighter than before. The stress weighing on his shoulders had finally eased, even if only a little.
"Go, Derek." Stiles suddenly said.
He stepped away from him and returned to his chair. "We both know I’ll come to you."
A pause. "But not right now."
He looked down. "Please. If you care about me, leave."
Stiles tried very hard not to look at him. And he succeeded. Derek stayed silent for a long time.
For a moment, it looked like he was going to reach for him. But he stopped himself.
Then he walked toward the window.
Before leaving, he whispered with certainty, "I won’t let you go, Stiles." A pause. "I waited for you for so long..."
And then he left through the window.
As if he hadn’t just made Stiles' heart gain wings.
When Stiles turned back to his computer, he realized he had been writing the same single letter over and over on the last page of his book.
He was completely screwed.