Chapter Text
As Cliff slowly opens his eyes, he realizes that they feel like they are full of sand. He takes note of the rest of his body – there is a deep ache in his shoulder and chest and his mouth feels like it is full of cotton. The one bright spot is the feeling of his left hand being held tight and the weight of Luca’s head on his hip. His movement was enough to rouse Luca from his fitful rest at his side. Cliff looks into his boyfriend’s teary blue eyes - the wetness making them sparkle even more than usual. “Hey there pretty-boy, you waiting for me?” Luca lets out a sob. He hates hospitals. It feels like he hasn’t taken a full breath all day. As Cliff looks down at him, Luca realizes that his whole world was cut open this morning. He had been missing a part of himself in that limbo – knowing that he never wanted to live without Cliff ever again. “Thank God, Cliff, I was so worried. I know it’s routine surgery, but I couldn’t stop thinking that, that had been our last kiss. I…” Cliff interrupted him and pulled him up to greet his lips with a soft press that meant more than any of the hot, filthy kisses that they had shared before. “I am here, sweetheart. You are here. We are together, forever, okay?” Luca smiled softly, “I am going to hold you to that, big guy. You are stuck with me now.”
Shane and Ilya come back with more coffee for Luca and the most obnoxious giant stuffed bear that the gift shop had for Cliff. They visit a bit until the nurse comes to give Cliff another dose of pain meds and he quickly falls asleep. The husbands try and fail to talk Luca into leaving the hospital for a little while to go get some real rest and a proper shower. Luca just can’t imagine being across the city from Cliff right now. He insists that he will stay and freshen up as best he can in the washroom. Ilya, being Ilya, finds an agreeable nurse that shows Luca to a staff shower room that he can use. Luca is so grateful to his captain and his uncanny ability to talk people into things they shouldn’t do. Now that Cliff is safely on the other side of the surgery, Luca insists that he no longer needs them to stay and keep him company. He just asks that they grab a few other things from the penthouse and drop them off on their way out of town.
The OG Bears chat had been keeping Cliff pretty entertained. They are all bellyaching about their captain being out of commission for the remainder of the season and teasing him that he did it on purpose so he could spend more time with his hot boyfriend. He had to admit that was definitely the upside to the whole situation. He loves watching Luca sketch in the chair in the corner of his hospital room. He loves that he sleeps beside him, even if it is on a roll-away cot right now. Soon, it might be in his bed. He is sad that Luca has to go back to Ottawa at the end of the week, but he plans on hiring a nurse to move into the spare room until he is up to travelling. He can rehab the rest of the season at Luca’s place, if he will have him. They will have to talk about that soon.
Luca steps out of the room to make a phone call when the nurse comes in to check his vitals. He knows that Shane and Ilya have been keeping the team up-to-date on Cliff’s situation, but he needs to make some plans for the next few weeks. After speaking with the doctors and nurses earlier, it became clear that Cliff won’t be able to be on his own for the next 10 days or so. Luca’s week off ends a couple days after Cliff will be discharged from the hospital leaving about a week in question. Luca can’t imagine leaving him right now. He pulls up Coach Wiebe’s contact and hits the call button. Coach Wiebe is more than understanding. Cliff is his partner and of course he can scratch him on the roster for a few games. Looking at the calendar, the only game that might be a challenge is the Admirals. He will talk to management and then text Luca with the confirmation and details. Wiebe assures him that it is just a formality and not to worry. He can take the time he needs for Cliff’s recovery. Luca sighs, another time that he is so grateful for the Centaurs – from the owners to the arena staff, everyone is so kind and understanding.
When Luca slips back into the room, he finds Carmichael and St. Simon there. The boys are chatting animatedly as he sits in the chair, they left open for him at the side of the bed. Ryan points to a stack of Tupperware containers, “Kat sent that for you. She is sure you are either sick of cafeteria food or not eating at all so she sent some sandwiches, some salads and homemade chocolate chip cookies.” Luca, of course, opens the cookies first and tries one. “Tell your wife, that she’s my angel!” The boys step out and make room so the nurse and the physical therapist can come inside. They give some more instructions about his discharge tomorrow and what will need to be arranged at home for the recovery period. Luca is taking notes on his phone but Cliff starts to ask about homecare nursing options. Luca interrupts and tells him that he has already arranged to take the next 10 days off to take care of Cliff and can take more if it becomes necessary. Cliff looks at his boyfriend, mouth agape, “You can’t do that, sweetheart! Your team needs you.” And Luca shoots back “No? Just watch me!”
The hospital staff slip out and the Bears come back in to raised voices. When they realize what the problem is, Vic interrupts. “Cliff, man, what did you say to me when Meg had to have her emergency appendectomy and we were in a playoff run? You told me that my wife came first. Hockey could wait! You guys maybe aren’t married, but Luca has every right, as your partner, to take care of you! Let the man love you, you big oaf!!” Luca smiles at him with appreciation. Cliff sputters a bit and then hangs his head. He doesn’t want to be a burden but he also knows that this is a fight he isn’t going to win.
They are discharged the following morning with a prescription for pain meds, a cold therapy machine and a booklet of instructions of what to do and what not to do. Formal physio will start after the weekend but there are some gentle exercises that they have already started in the hospital. Cliff is in some pain but actually expected it to be worse. The many injuries that he has sustained on the shoulder made it a constant source of pain so this new kind of healing-pain seems manageable. It also doesn’t hurt that he has the sexiest nurse in the world, his very own live-in boyfriend – at least for now.
Luca likes taking care of Cliff. He is an easy patient. The hard part is keeping his hands off of him because he is still too fragile for any amorous activities. They spend hours snuggling on the couch with every pillow in the place propping up Cliff so that he is as comfortable as possible. They binge-watch terrible reality TV and old 80s movies that Luca has never even heard of. They are always close to each other – always a hand or foot touching. Kissing is about as much as they can do comfortably, so they spend hours like middle-schoolers – making out until their lips are chapped.
Cliff’s physiotherapist is very happy with his progress. The fact that he is a very fit athlete who has spent decades eating well and taking care of his body is paying off dividends now. He still isn’t allowed to lift more than 5 lbs or drive, but he can start to increase his range of motion and there are no longer restrictions on activities that don’t involve his right arm. Cliff gives Luca a wink as he hears that and Luca can’t help but blush a pretty pink. Cliff had been telling him for days that they could do more, but Luca, always the rule-follower, was waiting for the go-ahead from the medical professionals.
Cliff made a mental list of all the things they could do that wouldn’t involve his shoulder as Luca drove them back to the penthouse. Luca could straddle him on the couch. He could take him over the arm of the couch as long as he could brace with his left arm on the back of it. He might need some assistance getting Luca ready though as he usually uses 2 hands for that. Luca standing and Cliff on his knees would work too. Cliff any way with Luca on his knees. He was imagining a scenario that involved Cliff laying with his shoulder supported and Luca straddling his face when they arrive back at his place. He has to adjust himself as he stands up so that his thoughts aren’t immediately apparent to anyone that might be in the parking garage.
Luca knew exactly how this night was going to go as soon as the physio had given Cliff the green light. He currently found himself at the foot of the bed putting on a show getting himself ready for Cliff who was waiting not so patiently with his dark eyes smoldering. Luca swears that he can feel the heat of his boyfriend’s stare. Even with Luca doing most of the heavy lifting, the sex is shorter and less intense than usual. The blood rushing through his body starts a thrumming in Cliff’s shoulder that he can’t ignore and Luca is too worried that he will hurt him. They both find their release and are grateful that they can connect in this way again, but it will still be a while before Luca is being thrown around and folded in half which is their favourite way to play.
It is getting close to the end of the week off that Luca had arranged, they need to figure out what is next. Cliff’s mom had offered to stay with Cliff when she came by for a visit, but Cliff had declined. He knew that it wouldn’t be fair to any of them. With the approval of the physiotherapist and the surgeon, they start making arrangements for Cliff to go back to Ottawa with Luca. There are logistics to work out, but nothing too difficult for famous and rich athletes. The Bears’ head office knows that Cliff is out for the season and as long as he continues to check in and provide updates to the team doctor, they don’t care where he does his rehabilitation. The surgeon reaches out to a colleague in Ottawa to follow-up with Cliff for upcoming re-evaluations and the Centaurs physio therapist gives them the names of some great private clinics that can continue with Cliff’s care. So, with that taken care of, they head off to Ottawa. They have 3 days to make it back, in case, Cliff’s shoulder needs to have breaks from sitting in a car. They make it halfway the first day and call to see if Brian and Patrick have any availability at the resort. They are in luck and get a nice cozy cabin just like the one at Christmas, man that feels like a lifetime ago.
After a second day of driving, they arrive in Ottawa. Luca’s place is smaller than Cliff’s but also cozier and homier. Cliff loves being in Luca’s space, he just hopes that Luca doesn’t get sick of him always being around. They unpack their things and order in Thai food for supper. Luca will get a grocery delivery ordered, but for tonight – takeout. They eat curled up on the couch and climb into bed a bit earlier than usual. Cliff is finding that everyday movement and positioning is no longer painful, he just has to be aware of certain movements that still catch him. This makes cuddling and sleeping with his amazing boyfriend much easier and more enjoyable.
As the weeks go on and Luca’s season continues, Cliff finds that he loves being a house-husband. He goes to all of his physio appointments and faithfully does all of his assigned exercises and stretches. He impresses the physio and the surgeon here in Ottawa. His recovery is going faster than anyone expected. It makes him wonder if he should go back to the ice. He is torn between his love of the game and the love of living with Luca. He has made friends with the Ottawa WAGs and players alike. The girls invite him to wine nights and watch parties and the guys allow him to come to the arena gym with Luca and he has become like an extension of the team. It makes Luca daydream about playing with Cliff. What it might be like to have him as a Centaur.
One day in early spring, before playoffs were starting, the team has a BBQ at Bood’s place. Cliff realizes why they are legendary – Zane’s jerk chicken is better than the stuff he had tried in Jamaica when he went on holidays. Cliff was a little sad that his own team had missed out on a playoff spot by just a couple of points, but it was easier to plan the rest of the season, because he wouldn’t be torn between being there for his team or his boyfriend’s. He really enjoys his time with the Centaurs and their wives. At one point, he finds himself in the kitchen with Selena Chouinard and Caitlyn Dykstra exchanging recipes – they are giving him tips on inclusions for the sourdough bread that he has started making. He is excited to try jalapeno and cheese for himself and sprouted multi-grain for Luca. He likes being here. It feels right.
Late in the evening, when the food is gone and groups have splintered off, Cassie Boodram claps her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, this year the Centaurs are taking it all the way. We are bringing home the cup!” Everyone cheers. She continues after a moment or two, “You players have it easy, the hard part is sitting in the stands watching you all and developing ulcers.” The WAGs all holler while the players laugh. “This year we will be watching in style, this year’s WAG jackets are here, just in time for the playoffs. Since no one here seemed to marry the stereotypical blonde puck bunny,” winking at Harris, “we thought we would break the mold a bit with this year’s style….” She reaches into a box and pulls out an extremely stylish, short Khaki unisex utility jacket with a suede collar. On the front pocket is her husband’s number and BOOD embroidered across the shoulders. Everyone oohs and ahhs and comments on the great choice. The girls are all excited to try them on. She slips hers on and then Lisa Hayes helps distribute the rest as everyone starts visiting again. Cliff is quietly scrolling on his phone, when a shadow is cast over his lap. He looks up to see Lisa smiling at him with a jacket in her hands. Everyone nearby gets quiet. “You didn’t think we forgot about you, did you?” He takes the jacket and runs his fingers over the name – HAAS. His heart skips a beat. Cliff stands up and Lisa helps him slip his arms into the jacket – everyone cheers. He is one of them – and he has the WAG group picture to prove it.
Later that night, Luca, who is usually the more submissive of the 2 of them, is wild. Seeing his name across Cliff’s broad shoulders, does something to him. He shoves Cliff up against the door the second they get home and attacks his throat, Cliff knows he is going to have some marks to show off tomorrow. Cliff guides them to the bedroom because his shoulder is getting better but he definitely cannot lift his professional hockey-boyfriend no matter how much he would like to. Luca backs him up until his knees hit the edge of the bed and then pushes him back with an oomph. Luca climbs up and straddles the big man and starts grinding into him. Their usual dynamic is out the window. Cliff surrenders to Luca, who knows what he wants and is going to do whatever it takes to get it. Usually, Cliff likes the control, but as he lays there completely wrung out afterwards, Luca heading to the shower, he sighs. That was fucking hot.
Luca comes home from their last regular season game in a huff. He was very unhappy with his game. The team had won but he felt off. His passes weren’t connecting. His timing felt off, like everything was a second too late. His hands felt heavy. He feels like he going into a slump at the absolute worst time. They start round one of the playoffs in 3 days and he has to be at his best. He tells Cliff he is going into the rink tomorrow even though it is supposed to be a rest day because he needs to fix this. Cliff pulls him into a bear hug and kisses the top of his head. “Luca, sweetheart, you do not need any more practice. You just need to get out of your own way. Your hands and passes are some of the best that I have ever seen. You could even make a case that they are as good as Hollander’s.” Luca tried to protest, but Cliff shuts him up with a kiss. “You know what you are doing. You are a natural. When we play against you, we joke about how you and Shane play like you are psychic – each knowing where the other is going to be not where he is. It’s really fucking annoying!” That makes Luca giggle. Cliff continues, “What we are going to do is go to bed and I am going to fuck all of this nervous energy out of you. Tomorrow, we are going for a run, because I know you will never take a day completely off and then you are going to hole up in that studio of yours and create some new art. Do something completely unrelated to hockey - concentrate on something else entirely. I will feed you when you are hungry and will kiss you when your mind races. You will forget to be nervous and you will remember that you are a star forward for this year’s championship team. Now, get naked and meet me in the bedroom!” Luca’s eyes go wide and dark. Cliff slaps him on the ass as Luca whispers, “Yes, Sir”, on his way out of the room. Then he pours a couple glasses of water and turns off the lights and locks the door.
It works. Luca plays amazing in game 1. Then in game 2. Then the Centaurs take the first round in 5 games. They get a few days off before they head to meet the Admirals in round 2. Cliff makes arrangements to travel with the team to games 3 & 4 with the series tied 1-1. That is why, while Luca is at the practice rink, Cliff finds himself at the Kingfisher, sitting with Scott Hunter. Scott has been retired since the end of last season, but is still very invested in his old team – they place a friendly wager on the outcome of round 2, but Cliff knows he will get the satisfaction of collecting. After some good-natured chirping, Eric Bennett comes over to join them. Scott turns serious. He explains to Cliff that he has been approached by the board of directors of the league to create a research and advocacy group. It would encompass both the farm teams and the majors. Their mandate would be to improve the culture of hockey from within especially for persons of colour and LGBT+ players. That is why the board wants current or retired players to be a part of it. He explains, “Benny and I are already on board but we want a few others from around the league. I have reached out to Ryan Price, but he is busy with Fabian’s tour right now, so he isn’t interested. I also reached out to Roz, but with the Centaurs doing so well and him only having a few seasons left before they start their family, he wants to concentrate on playing. It was actually he, who gave me your name. He said you were tossing around the idea of early retirement and thought this might be a good transition for you. You would still be involved in the league. You would be making a difference and you would be able to spend more time in Ottawa – heard that, that might be the biggest draw.” He winked at Cliff as he said that. “There would be some travel involved and the stipend wouldn’t be much but all expenses would be covered and I really think we can do some good!” Cliff was struck dumb. He couldn’t form an intelligent sentence if his life depended on it. He tried swallowing the lump in his throat but it only half-worked as he choked out, “I think this might just be the perfect option for me.”
Cliff wanders back to the hotel with his mind racing. He will have to talk to Bears management, but with his recent injury and the fact that he was, at most, 2 years from retirement anyway, they would probably be okay. He would miss his boys, but had heard rumours that Carmichael and St. Simon were talking retirement next year too. The team wasn’t going to be the same soon enough, whether he was there or not, and this is an amazing opportunity. They have some pretty great young guys that would love more ice time and probably would be skating circles around him if he went back. He needed to talk to Luca. Would he be okay dating a retired guy when he was still a star player? Would having him around all the time be too much? Would he want him to move in permanently? Would they keep the apartment or get a house? Should they get married? Would he want to? Cliff knows that is what he wants, but they have never broached the subject. Should he propose? Or should he ask about it first? Cliff tries to take a deep breath and slow his mind. He just needs to see Luca. He won’t say anything until after the game. He can’t distract him.
As he sits in the stands cheering the Centaurs on to a game 6 win that takes round 2, Cliff imagines his life with Luca. The thing is, he can totally imagine it. They buy a house and get married. He travels with the advocacy group and helps to make changes for the sport he loves. He goes to wine nights with the WAGs, he works out with Luca, they go on road trips together. They go to Boston to visit his family. They go to Switzerland to see Luca’s. They get a cat. They maybe even adopt a kid. Maybe not, maybe they just travel the world and enjoy each other and be the best uncles ever. It scares him how easy it all seems. Everything seems to be falling into place. He has never had anyone that has made him want a domestic life before. He no longer wants clubs and hook-ups - he wants brunch and farmers’ markets. He doesn’t want parties – he wants snuggles on the couch. He pulls out his phone and scrolls – looking for jewelry stores in Ottawa. He wants this. All of it. He is going to talk to Luca about Scott’s proposal. He is going to ask if he can move to Ottawa. And if that goes well, he might buy a ring and make it official.
As they fall into bed after celebrating the win against the Admirals, Luca notices that Cliff goes quiet again. This has been happening a lot lately – Cliff seems like he is troubled by something. Luca has noticed, but things between them seem okay so Luca hasn’t pressed him about it. He has been a little bit focused on hockey - only the Eastern Conference to go before they get to play in the final! Luca pushes himself up on his elbow and looks down at Cliff. “What is running around that gorgeous head of yours, babe?” Cliff takes a deep breath and rambles on about how he loves Luca and hopes that he likes having him live here. He tells him about the meeting with Scott and the opportunity that has presented itself. Luca knows that he is spiraling a bit, so he leans down and captures his mouth in a kiss. Then he climbs on top of him and lays down creating a weighted blanket. He tucks his nose into Cliff’s neck and says, “You, Cliff Marlow, are the best thing that has happened to me since I joined the Centaurs. I would love for you to move to Ottawa – nothing would make me happier than waking up with you every morning. And as for working with Scott, that seems like the perfect way for you to stay in hockey without injuring your new bionic shoulder – I would like you to stay uninjured. You would be so good as an advocate – you know firsthand about the things you experienced before and after coming out. I am so excited for you. And maybe in the off-season, we could look for somewhere that we could call ours. A place for both of us.” It was Cliff’s turn to interrupt him with a kiss. They exchange kisses and discuss their future until the sun starts peeking up on the horizon.
The Eastern Conference final is a hard battle against Carolina, but they take it in seven games. Then they win the cup at home. Cliff joins the WAGs, in their matching jackets, on the ice as their hot sweaty hockey players skate around with the most coveted trophy in their sport. He is so proud of Luca and their team. They played hard all season and they deserve this. Shane and Ilya hold up the cup together, once again. The Centaurs are on top of the world. Cliff is too, because he has a ring in his pocket for the love of his life. He feels the smooth leather of the box and decides that this is a hockey moment – their moment is yet to come. He doesn’t know when, but soon. This summer is going to be so busy. There are camps to coach, a trip to Switzerland, a penthouse to pack up and sell in Boston, a house to find in Ottawa and of course, a trip to McGill University with their nephew. Cliff can’t stop beaming. His life is as close to perfect as it ever has been.
Luca walks into the coach’s locker room at the Game Changers Camp as a champion. Cliff had left before him because he has a meeting with Ilya before camp starts this morning. The first thing he notices are the flowers. There are orchids everywhere – Luca’s favourite flower. Then he notices Harris fiddling with his phone in the corner. Luca says hi and Harris waves and goes back to whatever he is working on. Luca looks up when he hears the door open and sees Cliff, walking in, in his coach’s polo and sweats – he looks ready for camp but the look on his face betrays him. Something is up. Cliff strides over to Luca and drops to one knee, the ring looking so small in his giant hand. “Luca, here in the room where you first took my breath away seemed like the perfect place to do this. Falling in love with you was the scariest and best thing that I ever have done. You have been so patient with me and all my insecurities. Being with you has made me a better man – I want you to always have the best version of me. I want you to know that I have never seen a more beautiful person in my whole life. You are perfect on the inside and out. Your love makes me want to shout from the rooftops. Your smile makes all my bad days brighter. I am so looking forward to this next chapter with you and I hope that you would consider writing that chapter as my husband. Luca Haas, will you marry me?” Luca drops to his knees and takes Cliff’s face in both of his hands, “Of course I will. Now please kiss me.”
Harris whistles and the door swings open and all of the coaches flood into the room with glasses and champagne. Good thing the kids don’t show up until tomorrow. Tonight is going to be a celebration.