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Montreal Metros @MontrealMetros
Happy #ThrowbackThursday! We’ve heard you loud and clear. All three members of your favorite trio will be on the ice tonight! We hope you tune in! See you there!
Image Insert 1:
[Taken during Hollander’s 5th season with the Metros: From left to right. JJ Boiziau, Shane Hollander-Rozanoz, and Hayden Pike at a charity event. They’re dressed in formal wear and smiling at the camera. Hollander is holding a ginger ale.]
↳Its Metros 4 Lyfe @montrealmetrosfan1996
Take this down right now, oh my fucking god
↳Hollander’s #1 Girl @allabout24
Did Shane know y’all were posting this?
↳↳Jelly Belly @gearheadbi
Better question, did ILYA
↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
Please cease usage of my client’s likeness IMMEDIATELY
↳No It IS That Serious 🏒 @hockeyismylife46
You know, it gets to a point
↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
This is weird. You're weird for this.
↳Shilya’s Third @lolaboutjaney
Montreal metros keep Shane's name outta your mouth challenge: failed AGAIN
↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
All that hullabaloo just to keep using Shane for marketing mama Yuna gonna sue yall
↳↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
@YunaHollander24
↳hollanov on top @itsashutout2
Oh rent must be due…how soon are the bell centres lights getting cut off??
↳⚜️ Fly Lis Fly ⚜️ @mightymetrosgo
Everyone butthurt like Hollander didn’t play with them for a decade. Of course they still have pics of him.
↳↳ally 🏒 @allywallypally
It’s weird because they kicked him off the fuckin team
↳↳↳⚜️ Fly Lis Fly ⚜️ @mightymetrosgo
No one kicked him off the team. He left. Players leave. It happens.
↳↳↳↳Cents and Centsability @goodgollymissmolly
We’re at the point in the metros/hollander/tripgate saga where folks just deny it was ever that bad…fascinating
↳↳↳↳↳let my cens fight @censgoaliestan
It’s gotta be whiplash for Shane
missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
At what point does watching ott/mtl with hope in my heart start to become self-harm?
Tea Time 🫖 @itsteatimewithj
We’re in the house tonight! Always fun to watch OTT & MTL duke it out
Photo 1:
[A photo taken from the inside of the Canadian Tire Centre. The stands are packed waiting for the game to begin.]
Video Insert 1:
[Commentator 1: Hollander looks good tonight. Clearly he’s been ignoring the noise off the ice.
Commentator 2: You don’t get to Hollander’s level without learning how to tune it all out. He’s always left it all on the ice.]
↳hollanov on top @itsashutout2
Ahem, Shane looks good ✨ every night ✨
missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
Theriault looks pissed. He and Gagnon keep getting into it and we’re not even at the end of the first.
↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
I’m telling you he’s on the chopping block
↳↳Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
Gotta be
↳↳↳Boiziau’s Baby Mama @JJBrescueme
Good. good fucking riddance.
Tea Time 🫖 @itsteatimewithj
Video Insert 1:
[Cheers can be heard in the background:
Commentator 1: Dubois just can’t keep up with Rozanov. The kid’s clearly doing his best but he’s getting circles skated around him
Commentator 2: To be fair to the kid, there aren't many players who can keep up with Roz. I can only think of one and—well.
Commentator 1: (Kissing his teeth) yeah, it’s a shame.]
↳Its Metros 4 Lyfe @montrealmetrosfan1996
At this point what do they expect Dubois to do bruh he’s one guy
↳↳Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
Funny, Shane was just one guy too but no one wants to hear that
Cents Stan @centsoncentsoncents
Your honor, that’s my emotional support old married couple
Video Insert 1:
[Shane and Ilya Hollander-Rozanov can be seen out on the ice, knocking helmets.]
↳24♥️35 @allaboutshayden
Noooooo that's his and Haydens thing!!! Stop!!!!
↳↳Shayden Truther @shaydenlives2435
Rozanov takes everything 😫
↳↳↳caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
Nurse, they're out again
↳Hollyander 🌱 @plantsandpucks
Hollzy on the ice in black and red 😒 it just ain’t right
↳↳caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
It’s been 84 years
↳↳↳Ra Ra Rozanov🐻@mrsraiders81
Like, yall gotta get over it
Tea Time 🫖 @itsteatimewithj
Video Insert 1:
[Commentator 1: Oooh and that did not go well for Olsson. You can feel the frustration from Metros players and fans tonight.
Commentator 2: They just can’t slow Hollander down.
Commentator 1: Who can?
Commentator 2: He’s on fire tonight!
Commentator 1: He always seems to find another gear against the Metros. I guess there’s still a point to prove.
Commentator 2: Is there? I mean Hollander’s already enshrined his name in the history books. He’s one of the greats.]
caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
Y’all saying Shane’s offline idk I think he saw that shit
↳Hollander’s #1 Girl @allabout24
Yeah he pulled out the belt and said bend over frfr
↳↳Shilya’s Third @lolaboutjaney
Straight BTA all night I know the Metros bus ride home finna be SILENT 😩
Hock-Tea😈 @HockTeaGossip
👀
Video 1:
[Clips of an interview taken from the post-game presser in the Ottawa Centaurs’ locker room following the Ottawa/Montreal Match-up. Several of the Centaurs can be seen milling around the background. Shane Hollander-Rozanov is in front of the camera wearing a thin underarmor tank:
Reporter: Shane, what went well tonight?
Hollander: (shrugs) We were really clicking tonight. At this stage in the season, I think everyone’s in a place where we can really perform. Always helps to have such a supportive crowd here at home.
Reporter: Shane, I don’t know if you’ve seen the discourse online—
Hollander: (shaking his head) I don’t really pay attention to that stuff.
Reporter: Of course. It’s interesting because John Cunningham recently had a lot to say about you.
Hollander: I apologize but I’m afraid I don’t know who that is. And if those are all the hockey related questions—
Reporter (from the back): What do you say to critics like Cunningham who say, maybe you’re not as good as fans think you are?
Hollander: (shrugging) I say check the scoreboard and then show me someone better. You all have a good night.]
↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
That’s my fucking champion
↳caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
Yeah yeah shane’s good at hockey blah blah am I high or am I seeing bush?????
↳↳hollanov on top @itsashutout46
No you’re not high babe I stopped listening as soon I saw that lil sliver of belly and happy trail Ilya Rozanov I’m in your wallsssss
↳Ra Ra Rozanov 🐻 @mrsraiders81
Good job computah
↳Shilya’s Third @lolaboutjaney
Shane Hollander's bush if you can hear me. Shane’s bush I'm speaking to you!!!
↳↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
Baby it only responds to Russian I fear
↳Cents and Centsability @goodgollymissmolly
John Cunningham is gonna wake up tomorrow to the news that 1. Shane Hollander doesn’t know who he is (he definitely does but he’s hilarious) and 2. Shane’s Bush™ is more popular than him
↳↳ally 🏒 @allywallypally
Life is one funny motherfucker
