Chapter Text
As the night progressed, Blue had assumed this would’ve been just a simple nap, and that Yellow would wake up soon, yet it had been hours and his beloved was still fast asleep. There was no way in hell Blue would leave him alone after such an ordeal, and since Yellow was currently sleeping in the dancer’s bed, Blue had come to the conclusion that he should just get some rest before the morning came. He had gotten dressed in his usual nightgown attire, a nice lace robe and his bonnet. He made sure to stay in Yellow’s line of sight the entire time, even leaving the bathroom door open when he did his skin care routine, incase he just so happened to wake up.
Of course, Yellow hadn’t.
Blue had slipped under the covers beside him now, changing their positions so the cowboy’s head was resting on the dancer’s shoulder instead of their previous position on his lap. Unconsciously, Yellow adjusted, pressing himself into the smaller man’s form and nuzzling into him with a content huff. Blue’s arm, which was wrapped around his lover’s shoulder, kept the cowboy close as he slept. Even though Yellow had the taller frame of the two, he always curled himself into Blue’s form. It was awfully endearing.
He couldn’t help the small smile that came across his face in response. He should try to sleep now; tomorrow would be a long day.
… at least… that’s what he *thought* he should do.
It was around 2:00 am now, and Blue was still wide awake. How could he not be after everything that just happened? His eyes stared up at the ceiling. Despite being wide awake, his gaze was filled with nothing short of exhaustion in this sort of dull haze he experienced every so often. It was quite an unpleasant sensation, yet, there he was.
His hand mindlessly carded through Yellow’s hair, his fingers slipping through golden strands. Blue knows well the taller flower probably couldn’t feel this gentle affection with how soundly he appears to be sleeping. However, if there was the slightest possibility that his affections could ease the turmoil in Yellow’s mind, even while in this unconscious state, there was nothing stopping him from doing so to his hearts content. Besides, admittedly, it was helping Blue as well in terms of thinking.
This… was the most peaceful Blue had seen him look in a very long time. That realization just makes him feel worse. Admittedly, since their conversation, Blue had been mentally berating himself for every little thing. He was typically a lot more cautious in letting his mind spiral, but in this moment of weakness, it must happen.
Of course Blue had seen the tendencies. Of course they bothered him beyond belief. So why hadn’t he brought it up to Yellow the first time? Or the second? Or the five hundredth, for Angel’s sake?
…
The lightners.
For the flower’s short time existing in this form, Blue had never considered the possibility that they would get to live out their existence in such a way for more than a few hours. He focused on keeping this place one of joy whenever he could, in doing so ignoring this clearly dire situation over enjoyment of another.
But of course, it wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own.
How bad of a partner was he…? Pushing aside Yellow’s issues like that for Asgore’s child and their friends…? Yellow was the most important person in his life and he had just swept this under the rug despite the clear pain it was causing.
How many times had the cowboy walked into that punishment room?
How many times did he cry over the smallest quarrels simply because someone said he was the cause of it?
How many times had Blue been too busy with his performance’s that he wasn’t available when Yellow needed him?
Dreadful thoughts swam freely, dancing to their own chaotic and frantic rhythm that offset Blue’s usual calm. He was often better at keeping himself out of this state, but tonight, he just couldn’t do it. Not after the days events. Before he could even make an attempt to self-soothe, tears were silently making their way down his face, his breathing hitching once or twice. He couldn’t get the image of Yellow’s face out of his head. The wobbly lip, the big teary eyes… it just upset him more than his own thought had already did.
He denied himself the luxury of comfort when he did find himself like this. He was supposed to be graceful, collected, *strong*, and yet, here he was, falling apart over something that was certainly his fault.
Worst of all, he wasn’t even alone. His wonderful Yellow was by his side… what would he do if he were to wake up? As much as he trusted Yellow with his woes, if it involved him, it was cause his beloved to spiral. He can’t cause any more harm.
He had no one to go to with his troubles.
Of course, he knew the others cared for Yellow as well… but none of them would gain the same level of understanding and comfort that Blue selfishly craved. Besides, he hated to dump his burdens onto others in such a way.
Battling his thoughts and fears had to be something he dealt with alone. It had to be…
With his free hand, he silently wiped at his eyes, sniffling quietly and forcing his breathing to even out as best it can. He rolls on his side so he’s now fully facing Yellow, holding his form close and hiding his face in his golden hair. The cowboy has always been a heavy sleeper, but Blue prays to the Angel nonetheless to let his darling rest while he attempts to calm himself down from the state he’s managed to work himself into.
“*Mmgh… Blue…?*” a groggy voice broke the quiet. Blue flinches ever so faintly, not saying a word in hopes he would go back to bed.
Of course, the Angel was not a merciful being.
Yellow tilted his head up, his weary face holding a large pout. Blue merely caught a glimpse at this expression on his lover, and it only served to make him feel worse. His poor dear is so tired and now awoken because of him.
“… Yer cryin’…”
The only response he gets is the tightening of his partner’s arms around him. Typically, this would be the part where his mind spirals with anxiety and panic. Actually, in reality it would’ve begun the second he woke up and recognized the fact that Blue was upset. But at the moment, his mind was still too sluggish from the previous events of the day to do such a thing.
“… Don’ wanna talk ‘bout it…?” Yellow asked, his voice growing incredibly soft as his hand slowly rubbed at his back.
…
Blue shakes his head. Yellow nods sympathetically.
“Dats alright…”
And so, they sit in silence, the only sounds being the occasional shift, Yellow’s palm against lacy fabric, and the usual sounds someone were to make when they were upset. Shudders, sniffles, on top of this being gentle shushes from Yellow. Deep down, the cowboy knew this was because of him. He was stupid, sure, but not when it came to this… well. Not tonight, at least. However, he realized his head wasn’t screaming at him, despite the usual guilt settling down in his chest.
His mind liked to be quiet when Blue was around, and on top of that, logically speaking (as if he’s ever been logical in these situations), he couldn’t punish himself anyways if he didn’t even know what he had done wrong! Ah, that’s just so genius of Blue! Well, Blue was always a genius, so Yellow wasn’t all that surprised.
Still, it most likely wasn’t healthy for him, but who was he to tell Blue what he should and shouldn’t say?
At this point, the dancer had settled down a bit, pulling his face out of the clump of wet strands he had created in the cowboy’s hair.
“Oh goodness, I apologize for my behavior, my dear,” Blue murmured, one hand letting go of him to swipe at his hooded eyes.
“You don’t got nuthin’ to ‘pologize fer, Blue.”
Yellow uncurled from his previous position, shifting so Blue was the one cradled in his arms instead. It was a lot more practical that the sheriff would be the one to hold his lover in this matter and not the other way around, given the height difference between the two. The main reason for this not being normal is the fact that Yellow was the more… emotionally vulnerable of the two, and being the courageous cowboy that he was, he didn’t get the chance to be small that often.
The fact Yellow gave it up for him in a instant caused Blue’s heart to ache as he melted into his beloved, returning the embrace as said beloved began to place sleepy kisses anywhere and everywhere on the ballerino’s face. Soon, the dancer’s lips quirked upwards as giggles bubbled up in his chest.
After getting the positive response he wanted, Yellow pulled back a little, a small smile of his own forming.
“Jus’… know ‘m here fer ya… ok? If ya wanna talk ‘bout it later, I mean.”
Although Blue was a little taken aback by this, he nodded, snuggling in closer as Yellow tucks the ballerino’s head under his chin and humming quietly. He’ll admit… it was nice to be the one receiving comfort for once. Especially from the one he loved more than anything. Slowly, his eyes shut, finally feeling at peace once more as the two of them drifted to sleep in the embrace of one another.
And when Blue awoke the next morning…
Yellow was gone.