Chapter Text
Shen Qingqiu barely had time to lower his fan before the tiny missile struck him square in the chest.
"...Oof."
It was less of a collision and more like being assaulted by an aggressively affectionate cloud. A compact bundle of warm fur slammed into him with surprising force, tiny claws catching on embroidered silk as the puppy immediately began scrambling upward with single-minded determination. Four oversized paws scrabbled frantically against his robes, little nails clicking faintly against the layers of fabric as it searched for purchase.
Its hind paws slipped.
Its front paws held.
With a triumphant little "Arff!" the puppy hauled itself another few inches higher by shamelessly using Shen Qingqiu's robes as a climbing wall.
Shen Qingqiu watched, vaguely fascinated, as the puppy climbed him exactly the way a squirrel might tackle a tree.
It reached his collar.
Victory apparently achieved, the little creature shoved its entire face beneath the loose fold of his robes, snuffling enthusiastically against his neck with wet little huffs of breath. Its nose was cold. Its body, by contrast, radiated impossible warmth, the sort that seeped pleasantly through layers of silk until it settled against his skin.
The puppy wriggled deeper.
"...You've gotten smaller," Shen Qingqiu observed after a thoughtful pause.
"Wuff! Arf arf!"
"Yes, yes. I can see you're very excited about it."
The puppy pulled its face free just long enough to beam up at him.
There was truly no other word for it.
Its pink tongue lolled sideways, dark eyes gleamed with unmistakable delight, and its entire rear end wagged with such enthusiasm that its back paws briefly lost contact with Shen Qingqiu's robes altogether. Its tail beat rapidly against his sleeve with soft thwap-thwap-thwap sounds.
Then, apparently remembering a far more important mission, it immediately buried its face beneath Shen Qingqiu's collar again.
Its tiny nose nudged insistently against his throat.
It inhaled deeply.
Then it resumed enthusiastically digging into Shen Qingqiu's robes as though absolutely convinced there was another Shen Qingqiu hidden somewhere underneath the first one.
The silk shifted.
One careful tug became another.
His outer robe slipped precariously off one shoulder.
The puppy shoved harder.
His collar loosened.
Another determined paw hooked beneath the edge of the fabric and—
Shen Qingqiu felt cool mountain air brush across newly exposed skin.
He looked down.
An indecent amount of his chest was now visible by respectable xianxia standards.
The puppy seemed delighted by this development.
Without hesitation, it gave his collarbone an investigative sniff before happily licking away. Then it apparently decided Shen Qingqiu himself required thorough grooming. Warm little swipes of tongue traveled enthusiastically across his chest while tiny paws kneaded happily against him for balance.
Somehow Shen Qingqiu felt like he was having sex in the middle of his living room and he didn’t like the thought at all. Yes, this was his husband, but his husband had somehow become a puppy!
His puppy husband was currently cuddling him and doing completely indecent things here! Wait-
No, no, no. Retreat! Retreat! Retreat!
He needed to erase that thought from his mind. The world may have turned into a danmei world like the stuff his meimei enjoyed reading, but it was rated PG! It did not belong to PO18 or whatever the danmei equivalent of that was!!
His puppy husband was merely attempting to lick him the way one might enthusiastically consume an ice cream on a hot summer afternoon. Yes, yes that's a better way of thinking about it.
For several long moments he simply stood there, both hands hovering awkwardly in the air as if touching the puppy without a proper strategy might somehow worsen the situation.
"If I don't hold you," Shen Qingqiu sighed, "you're going to climb directly into my sleeve." Or worse.
He slipped both hands beneath the puppy's round little bottom and lifted it carefully against his chest.
The puppy settled with an immediately satisfied little huff, all four paws spreading comfortably across Shen Qingqiu as though this had always been the intended destination.
"...Cool," Shen Qingqiu said weakly. "...Cool, cool. This is my life now."
The puppy answered by enthusiastically licking his chin. Perhaps the puppy would have tried licking Shen Qingqiu’s mouth, but the dog was small and far too short to achieve such a thing.
Still, Shen Qingqiu lowered his arms a little bit just to be very very sure the puppy could not reach his mouth.
The dog in question, finding no objections worth respecting, returned to industriously grooming every inch of Shen Qingqiu’s exposed chest within reach.
Shen Qingqiu quickly shifted the dog to one arm so that he could raise one sleeve to wipe the accumulating drool from his chin. Dog husband or not, there were standards.
"Luo Binghe."
The puppy looked up immediately. Its ears perked and its tail resumed wagging with renewed vigor.
"We will not be kissing while you are a dog."
"Wuff!"
"No. Absolutely not."
The wagging intensified. The puppy's entire body began wiggling with such excitement that Shen Qingqiu had to tighten his hold to keep it from sliding right out of his arms.
"...You're doing that on purpose."
The innocent expression it attempted was completely ruined by the wildly thumping tail.
Shen Qingqiu shifted the puppy so it rested securely against one arm, freeing his right hand. With measured deliberation, he unfolded his fan just enough to tap the puppy lightly on its damp little nose.
"Bad dog."
The puppy blinked before barking once—it was bright, sharp, and unmistakably delighted—as though Shen Qingqiu had just offered the highest praise imaginable.
"...That's the opposite reaction of what I was expecting."
The puppy merely leaned forward to nuzzle beneath his jaw. Its wet nose bumped softly against the sensitive spot below his ear before it sighed—a tiny, impossibly content sound—and settled there as if it had finally found the exact place it belonged.
Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes. He already knew how this was going to end.
"No," he informed himself firmly.
The puppy made a tiny questioning whine.
"No."
Its ears drooped. Its enormous eyes somehow became even larger.
One.
Two.
Three.
It took three breaths before his resolve crumbled into nothing.
"...Fine."
His fingers descended almost of their own accord. He stroked gently between the puppy's ears.
Silk-soft fur flowed beneath his fingertips, impossibly plush and warm. It was finer than rabbit fur, softer than the highest quality cloud silk, each careful pass smoothing the tiny hairs until they gleamed in the afternoon light.
Then he lowered his head and pressed a kiss to the puppy’s forehead.
The effect was instantaneous. Its entire little body relaxed bonelessly against him, tension draining away in a visible wave. Its eyes fluttered closed, mouth falling open in bliss as a tiny sigh escaped its chest.
Then came the rumble. It was deep and low and entirely at odds with the puppy’s adorableness. A rich vibration thrummed through Shen Qingqiu's arm where he held the puppy, far too powerful to belong inside something scarcely larger than a loaf of bread.
Shen Qingqiu tsked. "...You really are enjoying yourself." Yet his fingers drifted almost of their own accord, scratching behind one floppy ear.
The puppy made another pleased little sound, somewhere between a purr and a growl, and promptly shoved the top of its head more insistently into Shen Qingqiu's palm as one of its hind leg kicked once. Its eyes had gone completely blissful, lids drooping until only slivers of red and white remained visible. The little body leaned so heavily into his hand that Shen Qingqiu had to tighten his arm beneath it to keep the puppy from sliding out of his grasp entirely.
"I see," Shen Qingqiu murmured. "You've become even easier to spoil."
The puppy yipped in agreement before sighing.
Shen Qingqiu sighed as well, though his sounded considerably more resigned. "...Very well. Since you've clearly forgotten every shred of dignity you once possessed, this master will have to possess enough for the both of us."
He turned toward his room.
The puppy immediately settled more comfortably against him, tucking its nose beneath Shen Qingqiu's chin as though it had always belonged there. Warm breath puffed rhythmically against the side of his neck. Every few steps, its tail gave another enthusiastic thump against his ribs.
It was… pleasant.
By the time Shen Qingqiu reached his quarters, the puppy had somehow managed to work one tiny paw into the front of his robes again.
The puppy blinked innocently when Shen Qingqiu paused and stared accusingly at that one paw.
Shen Qingqiu hissed in annoyance, already foreseeing Luo Binghe being even more irritating now that his puppy eyes were 10X more effective than before.
—
His evening routine proved significantly more complicated than usual.
Shen Qingqiu crouched and carefully set the puppy onto the polished wooden floor. Tiny paws landed with a soft tap, claws clicking lightly as it tried to steady itself. Instead, the puppy slipped and flopped onto its back, distracting Shen Qingqiu for a solid minute.
Okay, so the fluffy belly was too cute!
But when Shen Qingqiu regained his mind, the puppy looked up at him expectantly, tail already beginning its relentless sweep across the floor. If Luo Binghe’s fur had been white, it would probably have begun turning black by now with how much he was rolling around.
(It totally wasn’t a comment about how much his life fell apart when Luo Binghe wasn’t around to do the chores and cook for him or how he-)
"You'll survive a few moments without clinging to this master," Shen Qingqiu said, dusting off his sleeves. "Stay there."
He turned toward the folding screen and slipped off his outer robe. The fabric whispered against itself as he folded it with practiced precision, smoothing every crease before laying it neatly atop the stand.
Behind him came the faint scrape of claws.
Click.
...Click-click.
Then it went deathly silent behind him.
Shen Qingqiu's ears twitched. He resisted the urge to turn around to see what was going on - Luo Binghe knew exactly how to catch Shen Qingqiu’s attention.
The silence was suspicious but he needed to ignore that.
He reached for the sash around his waist.
Click-click-click-click—
Thunk.
Something warm and fluffy collided squarely with the back of his ankle.
Shen Qingqiu looked down.
The puppy had somehow crossed the room without him noticing. Its tiny forelegs were wrapped around his ankle with startling determination, hugging his leg as though afraid it might disappear. Its hind paws slipped slightly on the polished floor as it struggled to pull itself even closer.
The moment Shen Qingqiu looked down, the puppy's ears perked.
Its entire bottom half began wagging.
"Luo Binghe,” he scolded.
"Wuff!" The bark was immediate and indignant, as though he were the one being unreasonable.
"I am changing," He kept his tone stern.
The puppy tilted its head. Crimson red eyes blinked once. Then it answered with a long, pitiful little whine that trembled with exaggerated heartbreak.
"...Don't look at this master like that."
The puppy continued whining as though Shen Qingqiu had just delivered the cruelest verdict imaginable. The tiny sound rose and fell in soft, miserable little notes, each one somehow more pitiful than the last. Its ears drooped until they framed its face, and its brows—or what Shen Qingqiu swore had to be brows despite being covered in black fur—tilted upward with such naked despair that it bordered on manipulation.
No. He took that back. It was manipulation.
Shen Qingqiu narrowed his eyes. "...You know exactly what you're doing."
The puppy answered with an even sadder whimper. Then, as if to ensure Shen Qingqiu couldn't possibly escape, its forelegs squeezed tighter around his ankle.
Shen Qingqiu looked down in disbelief. "...How."
The puppy was, at most, the size of a particularly fluffy cushion. It did not possess opposable thumbs.
Its paws were round little things with soft black pads and far too many tufts of fur spilling between its toes. By all reasonable logic, it should have slid right off the smooth fabric of Shen Qingqiu's robes. Instead, it had somehow achieved a grip that rivaled certain cultivators' grappling techniques.
"...Dogs shouldn't be able to do that."
"Arf."
For a lack of better comebacks, he settled on every middle aged mother’s default chiding, "Don't 'arf' at this master."
The puppy's tail began wagging again, beating an eager rhythm against the back of Shen Qingqiu's calf.
Every enthusiastic sweep brushed silky fur against his skin through the thin layers of his inner robes. The puppy itself radiated an almost sleepy warmth, like a sun-warmed blanket fresh from the afternoon light. Pressed against Shen Qingqiu's ankle, it was impossible to ignore—not merely because of its determined grip, but because every tiny movement had itself crystal obvious through soft fur, warm breath, and the faint tap of claws shifting against the polished wood.
Its little nose nudged experimentally at his slipper before it let out another mournful sigh, one so exaggerated Shen Qingqiu was almost impressed.
"...This master is changing clothes, not departing for a hundred-year closed-door cultivation."
That comment earned another tiny, heartbroken whine. The puppy rubbed its cheek against his ankle. The motion was slow, affectionate, and utterly shameless.
Shen Qingqiu stared at the ceiling for one long moment and let out a sigh. Then he looked back down. "You cannot simply cling to people."
As though it disagreed with the very premise, the puppy immediately leaned its entire weight against his leg, settling more comfortably around his ankle as if demonstrating exactly how much it intended to continue clinging.
"...You especially cannot cling to your shizun while he is changing."
The puppy sighed dramatically.
It was an astonishingly theatrical sound for something so small, a long, suffering exhale that seemed to communicate the profound tragedy of being denied the right to glue itself to Shen Qingqiu's person for all eternity.
Then, as though resigning itself to an unbearably cruel fate, it slowly lowered its chin onto the top of Shen Qingqiu's foot.
Its floppy ears drooped until they nearly brushed the floor. Its red eyes somehow grew even rounder and even shinier. And-
Were those tears?
A suspicious shimmer gathered at the corners of those enormous eyes. Not enough to spill over, merely enough to catch the lamplight and glisten with heartbreaking sincerity.
Shen Qingqiu felt a flicker of alarm.
"...Luo Binghe."
The puppy attempted a pitiful little sniffle, as though overcome with unbearable sorrow. Instead, it produced a tiny, congested little snrk.
It blinked, apparently as surprised by the noise as Shen Qingqiu was. The illusion of devastating heartbreak lasted exactly one heartbeat longer before collapsing completely. The puppy’s face was one of complete betrayal.
Shen Qingqiu had to press his lips together and tried not to laugh. "Shameless!" He tried to say, but a giggle popped out midway through.
There was absolutely no way Luo Binghe wasn't doing this on purpose. He refused to believe otherwise.
Shen Qingqiu drew in a measured breath, summoned every ounce of his peak lord's composure, and attempted to take a single dignified step forward.
He made it perhaps half the distance before discovering that walking with an attached puppy was considerably more difficult than anticipated.
His foot moved.
The puppy did not.
Instead, the little body slid smoothly across the polished wooden floor like a particularly determined mop. Tiny claws scraped frantically against the lacquered boards.
Shen Qingqiu winced at the sound of every new scratch mark appearing on his pristine wooden floorboards. When Luo BInghe became a human again, he was going to make that boy kneel and polish every centimeter smooth and perfect again!
Scritch-scritch-scritch—
"Wuff!" The indignant bark echoed through the room. The puppy redoubled its efforts, paws paddling furiously against the floor as though convinced enough enthusiasm alone could overcome the laws of physics. Its hind legs bicycled helplessly for a moment before finally finding purchase.
"I told you to let go."
The puppy peeked a look at him. Then, seeing whatever it was on Shen Qingqiu’s face, it decided to shift its weight. One forepaw loosened just enough to reach farther around Shen Qingqiu's ankle and then the other.
It somehow managed to hug him even tighter.
"...How are you improving your technique?" Apparently the protagonist halo that allowed Luo Binghe to pick up new skills and techniques quickly also extended to mastering his puppy form.
The puppy gave a satisfied little huff and tucked its face happily against Shen Qingqiu's leg as if pleased with its own ingenuity. Its warm nose pressed through the thin fabric of Shen Qingqiu's robes. The soft puff of each breath tickled faintly against his skin.
Its tail resumed wagging with renewed confidence, tapping merrily against Shen Qingqiu's calf while its entire body relaxed into the embrace, utterly unconcerned by the fact that it had effectively immobilized one of the most respected peak lords in the cultivation world.
"You were already far too clingy before,” Shen Qingqiu complained. “Somehow you are managing to become even more clingy."
After another two unsuccessful attempts to free himself without stepping on the enthusiastic little creature, Shen Qingqiu finally released a long-suffering sigh. "This master has truly spoiled you."
He bent down, slipping both hands beneath the puppy's round little belly.
The moment his hands touched it, every ounce of resistance vanished.
The puppy went completely limp.
It was as though someone had cut the strings holding it upright. Its forelegs released Shen Qingqiu's ankle without protest, hind legs dangling uselessly beneath it while its soft body settled trustingly into Shen Qingqiu's palms.
Its tail beat cheerfully against Shen Qingqiu's wrists while all four paws dangled bonelessly in the air. The puppy stretched luxuriously in his hands, forepaws extending straight out while its tiny pink tongue peeked from between slightly parted jaws in a satisfied little pant.
Then, spotting Shen Qingqiu's face so conveniently close, it brightened.
The puppy craned its neck with surprising determination, standing on absolutely nothing while dangling in Shen Qingqiu's hands, and managed to swipe one quick lick beneath his chin.
It was warm, wet, and stank of dog.
It immediately tried for a second.
"No!” Shen Qingqiu yelped and leaned back just in time. “Bad dog."
The puppy's tongue flicked through empty air.
"Wuff!" The bark carried not the slightest trace of remorse. The puppy blinked up at him, expression so openly innocent it would have convinced anyone who hadn't witnessed the crime firsthand.
Still holding the fluffy menace at arm's length, he carried it several measured paces across the room.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four…
Here. Yes, this was far enough that even an exceptionally determined puppy would need a respectable amount of time to cross the polished floor.
After a brief moment's consideration, Shen Qingqiu decided even that was insufficient.
He scooped the puppy back up and carried it to a sturdy wooden chair tucked beside the window. The seat was comfortably broad but just high enough that any sensible puppy would think twice before attempting to jump down.
He crouched and carefully lowered it onto a chair tall enough that the puppy would think twice before jumping off.
The puppy landed onto the cushion on the chair with a tiny tap of its paws.
Before it had the chance to launch itself again, Shen Qingqiu remained crouched, bringing himself to eye level with it.
He raised one finger.
The gesture carried all the solemn authority of a peak lord delivering battlefield orders before an important campaign.
"Stay."
The puppy's ears perked forward. The puppy immediately sat. Its little chest puffed out. Only the furiously wagging tail betrayed the tremendous effort it was making to remain in place, sweeping broad arcs across the back of the chair with soft thump-thump-thump sounds.
"...Good."
Shen Qingqiu regarded it with narrowed eyes for several moments.
The puppy returned his gaze with complete innocence.
Not a single muscle moved. The puppy sat as still as a carved jade ornament.
“Now stay.”
Shen Qingqiu stared at the puppy for a few moments watching closely for any hint of movement. Satisfied—though only barely—Shen Qingqiu rose and turned back toward the folding screen to finish changing.
Behind him, he couldn’t the sound of a puppy trying to escape its chair-prison. The only sound in the room was the quiet rustle of fabric and the faint crackle of the oil lamp.
He deliberately kept his pace unhurried, refusing to glance back and check.
Perhaps, Shen Qingqiu thought as he gathered fresh robes and headed toward the adjoining bath, Luo Binghe still retained enough self-control to obey a simple command even in this strange form.
By the time Shen Qingqiu returned, warm from his bath with damp hair draped over one shoulder and fresh robes smelling faintly of sandalwood, he was already thinking about sleep.
He slid open the bedroom door.
Then he stopped.
The chair was empty.
Shen Qingqiu looked slowly toward the bed where a certain puppy was sprawled triumphantly across the center of the mattress, half buried beneath the blankets after what appeared to have been an enthusiastic excavation effort. Pillows had migrated to opposite ends of the bed. The carefully smoothed quilt had been transformed into a chaotic landscape of rumpled hills and valleys.
The puppy itself had curled into the deepest nest it had created, blinking sleepily at Shen Qingqiu as though wondering why his shizun had taken so long to join him.
Then Shen Qingqiu noticed the dark, damp patch near one corner of the mattress.
His gaze lingered.
The puppy followed his eyes. Its floppy ears, which had been perked so proudly only a moment ago, gradually folded flat against its head. It very deliberately turned its head to one side and fixed its attention on a completely unremarkable section of wall, as though the architecture had suddenly become the most fascinating thing in the room. His entire body reeking of guilt and embarrassment.
Shen Qingqiu looked back at the stain. There was no red tint that implied blood, no tea cup spilled over as to maybe explain that the yellow stain was tea. There was only a very obvious puddle soaking steadily into his freshly made bedding.
The faint, unmistakable scent reached his nose.
Shen Qingqiu closed his eyes, praying for peace and serenity. He silently recited a passage he had found in one of the Qing Jing cultivation manuals on cultivating inner tranquility. It didn’t do much except make him feel even more like a fraud. "...You peed on this master's bed."
The puppy lowered its head until its chin rested between its paws, wearing an expression of such profound remorse that it might have been convincing if its tail hadn't given one tiny, hopeful wag. Despite every visible effort to remain appropriately contrite, its tail betrayed it as though the puppy was just absurdly happy that it had Shen Qingqiu’s attention on it again, for good or for bad.
Luo BInghe was quite to tuck the offending appendage beneath one paw as though hiding the happy tail might somehow help him show enough remorse to earn Shen Qingqiu’s forgiveness.
Shen Qingqiu pinched the bridge of his nose.
He really needed to sentence his husband to the dog house this time.