Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

July 2014

Saint-Tropez

Scott looked around him as he waited for the bartender to get his drinks ready.

It had been a long and exhausting year and they were barely half way through it.

With every passing day he was wondering more and more if all the sacrifice had been worth it. He had put himself so far inside the closet that he had gotten lost all for the opportunity of winning a cup that seemed further and further away every day.

His mind immediately went back to Kip and a smile formed on his face without even thinking about it.

They had been texting for about a month pretending they didn't see the obvious tension. Scott lying to himself that he just needed to have someone in his life who wasn’t involved with Hockey to broaden his horizons, while knowing that all he wanted to do was drag him to his bed.

“Thank you” He said to the bartender with a smile while grabbing his drinks.

He and Eric were in Saint-Tropez, an idea from Kip to distract his best friend from his divorce.

He normally used his summer vacation to get away from everything and pretend he was free and open for a few weeks, hooking up with random men across Europe until he had to go back to being his repressed self, he even considered inviting Kip to go with him (a very stupid idea now that he thought about it), but he considered that his friend needed this more than he needed to get laid, so there they were.

He put the drinks on the table and sat down while Eric put his phone away.

“The news is out,” Eric said before taking a sip.

“How do you feel?”

“Fine. Honestly I probably should be sadder than I am but I'm ok, I’m, I’m happy with it, you know?”

“Really?” Scott asked before taking a sip of his own drink.

“Yeah, I mean, we've been together since we were teens. We’re all the other knows and i cant say that either was necessarily happy with it. She never loved being a wag and being just my wife and, well, I never had much of a reason to complain about anything, but I wasn't happy either. This is the best for us”

“Well, that’s good. I’m glad you’re taking this well.”

“Yeah.” Eric said, taking another sip and letting a few seconds of silence linger. “You know… There’s a part of me that I just, I don’t know, I’ve always locked it away, always though there was no point in going there because I was already married, I had already found true love, but now I… I can do that, I can explore what that could be for me and I’m excited about it”

Scott frowned, not really knowing if Eric was telling him what he thought he was telling him. It sounded like a coming out, it sounded like the opposite of what he felt, but Eric was not gay, was he?

“What about you? How are you doing? When are you gonna get someone?” Eric asked

“I mean, I don’t know” It was now or never, Scott thought, it was at the tip of his tongue he just had to say it. “There is someone”

“Really?” Eric said with a bright smile “Who?”

“Just… you know, someone. Nothing really, we just talk sometimes”

“Ok, and what are you waiting for?”

“I don't know it’s just… it’s complicated”

“They’re married?”

“No, no, I’m complicated”

“That you are,” Eric said, making him laugh.

“It’s just, I don’t know, there’s a lot to take into consideration, you know? It’s a part of me that I don’t think I’m ready to explore yet, not fully anyway, you know?”

Scott looked at him intensely, trying to relay what he meant with just his eyes. Eric held his gaze before giving him a firm nod, he understood.

“I get it. But I think you should go for it. Life is too short, Hockey is even shorter, you should not let it control the rest of your life, you deserve to be fully you.”

Scott simply nodded and sat back. They kept drinking their drinks while looking at the sun set and talking about whatever.

His mind was set. He was taking the plunge, when he got back to New York he would do what he had to do to get Kip to be his.